FUEL

Do You Know My Personal Backstory and Crash…?

I’m a road warrior. My father was a road warrior. I’ve done travel horribly at times. I’ve killed it (and me) on the road, and I have the story to prove it.

THE BACK STORY

As a kid growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, lots of my friends thought I was lucky to be a Buckley. On the outside, it looked pretty good – my dad was a prominent figure in the community as well as an avid business traveler, and our family was well known as “hard workers,” a value my dad had pounded into me since I was old enough to do my first chores.

This hard work had its payoffs – I learned the art of public speaking at a very early age and I could play the piano well enough to perform in front of hundreds and even thousands of people. What people didn’t know was the huge weight this (being a Buckley) was to carry everywhere I went. It was a perk that came with a ton of responsibility.

Until I left for college, this was normal life for me – I knew much of our position was due to the fact we were hard workers, and we were willing to make the sacrifices in order to achieve – consistently.

But in early August 1988, everything changed when my parents dropped me off in Lynchburg, Virginia, at Liberty University. The name of the university was fitting because absolutely no one knew who I was or what it meant to be a “Buckley,” which was challenging and liberating at the same time.

This was a defining moment: for the first time in my life, I was free to choose my path. That sense of freedom ignited a drive in me to achieve my own results on my own terms, and this helped to shape the rest of my life.

The two most important lessons I learned in college were to build relationships to connect with people and to work not just hard, but smart. I watched, asked questions, and learned how to navigate from high achievers and top performers. This paid off – I was elected junior class president and student body vice president my senior year.

DRIVING HARD

This success carried on through my 20s and 30s. I was learning how to maximize my time and outperform most people. My friends saw me as someone who viewed sleep as optional and a necessary evil. I worked out but also ate whatever I wanted. I ate fast, walked fast, talked fast, and even drove fast. Just get it done at all costs was my life theme.

I started traveling at this early time in my life. I would travel for research. I would travel to speak all over the country. I didn’t have a care in the world, as most in their 20s have a feeling of invincibility. The late nights, bad food, and lack of proper rest were difficult for “everyone else” who didn’t have my drive and energy level.

When I worked from my personal strengths, I felt the only thing that could stop me was not having enough time. I pushed so hard. My desire to show others I could make it on my own led me to take on almost any and every challenge that came my way, which soon would prove to have disastrous effects on my life.

SOMETHING IS WRONG

Decades later, my lifestyle was that of a professional business traveler. I was eating the best of the king’s food and drinking the best of the king’s wine, but in February of 2011, my body started kicking back with some unusual symptoms.

On my 40th birthday, my wife gave me the gift of a one-way ticket to the doctor for a full panel of tests. (She’s generous like that.)

Not knowing what to do with me, they ran extensive tests. The good news was they couldn’t find anything wrong. The bad news was they couldn’t find anything wrong.

But I knew in my heart that something was definitely wrong … and then I willingly chose to ignore that feeling. I had too much to do and not enough time to do it in, so I went back to business (travel, that is) as usual. I hit the road harder, and my early inner warning signal was quickly ignored. I showed them. Like so many other business travelers, I lived by this quote:

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING, YOU’LL FIND A WAY. IF YOU DON’T, YOU’LL FIND AN EXCUSE. -JIM ROHN

If you’re like me and willing to justify avoiding something you really don’t want to do, then you’ll understand what I did next. The truth was I didn’t want to stop and rest. My identity was in my drive and in producing results. If I stopped, I thought I would lose ground and ultimately lose.

I hate losing.

I pushed even harder, traveling an insane number of miles for business. I increased my pace and responsibility. I lived in the moment and was willing to sacrifice everything—including my health and family.

THE COST OF THE RESULTS

Then it happened.

I hit the wall, and this time it hit back, and I didn’t get up quickly. In March of 2015, my business travel life finally began to catch up with me. All my Energizer Bunny energy was gone.

Everything that came naturally to me began to take more energy, and I began to crash— and crash hard. It didn’t happen all of a sudden, but my pace (which was one of my marks of success) and my stress levels were ultimately the cause of my demise.

I found myself unable to get up in the morning like I always had; the hours before everyone arose were “my time,” and I had never missed using them. I started sleeping as much as I could on the road. My breathing was off. My face was constantly flushed. I would get body aches that felt like the flu … without the flu. Headaches led to migraines. My mind would shut down to the point I couldn’t concentrate or even read. It was brutal on my pride and on me.

And I wasn’t the only one affected.

My wife got more than her fill of this madness. She already felt like a single mother when I was away, and now I was completely useless to her when I was home—I was one more person she had to take care of. C’mon, Buckley.

Those were dark days in our home filled with confusion, resentment, and hopelessness. The hard-driving me was becoming a thing of the past. But how? I was only 45 years old! Although I still felt like I was getting more done than most people, it was not at my pace or at my energy level.

I went back to the doctor, this time with a completely different attitude: one of humility and openness. Over the next few weeks, I underwent extensive medical tests that were exhausting, stressful, and expensive. But I needed to know and understand what was going on in my body.

This time, the doctors knew something was wrong, but they just weren’t sure what to do next. I was encouraged to learn that nothing major was wrong since my family tree included a legacy of heart disease and cancer. I was relieved, yet still tired most of the time and unable to run races, work out, and push it like I always had any time I’d wanted to in the past.

I was officially concerned and worried. I knew I had so much more in me … but not the energy to produce the results I wanted, and especially not in the acceptable (to me) turnaround time I was used to.

I’d hit a wall and needed a new fuel. I’d been using cheap gas and not doing the maintenance needed on a high-performance car. I was treating my Ferrari like a cheap, beat-up old Camry work car. Repair work had consisted of “do the minimum and get me back on the road.” I needed to quickly learn how to maintain this gift of a car for the long haul.

Years and then decades of doing it “my way” had wrecked my body. Pushing this hard without really taking care of my body had finally caught up to me. The cost of getting the results “my way” was forcing me to pay a price I didn’t want to pay … and oh, I would pay for a long time.

Everything was going to have to change. I needed to do things differently. My health and family literally depended on it.

THE DIAGNOSIS

Over the next few months, I was diagnosed with HPA Axis Dysfunction. Translation: I was running my body into the ground. My stress and pace had damaged my nervous and endocrine systems, which produced my energy. Something had to change, or it would literally shut down my body.

To be honest, this really scared me. I was the sole financial provider for my family. I was literally forced to change. I also didn’t have all the answers, but I knew it would not be a quick fix (if fixable at all). This was not the place I wanted to be in, but my focus was now on getting myself healthy.

Everyone who knew me or met me was completely shocked that I had “energy issues” because I was still so active and intense. But now, my energy was a commodity that needed to be spent on the things that really matter.

I actually view this diagnosis as a rare gift. It forced me to get focused on how to manage and increase my energy so I could maximize my results both on the road and at home.

UNDER THE HOOD

Once I was grounded (literally), I was forced to begin asking deeper questions, the answers to which were very revealing to me. Those close to me were ready to confront me in a loving way to lead me to the truth about myself.

There was this underlying stress to always perform, to always be at my best, and to “be on.” There were all these expectations that I ultimately realized were self-imposed. Others saw my results or my on-stage persona, not the off-stage toll it was taking on me.

Why did I feel the need to push all the time? What had once been my secret sauce had become my poison.

I asked myself, “What do I actually do when I rest? I’m always doing something. I don’t know how to be still or just be with others. This is not right.” I felt lonely, empty, drained, discouraged, confused, paralyzed, and humbled. And I wasn’t even in touch with my feelings!

I didn’t hear of high performers on the road getting sleep, taking breaks, and having downtime. I didn’t know how to refuel myself with all I was asking and taking from myself. I deeply lacked true rest, the very thing that would heal my body, mind, and soul.

Finally, I began to really look at myself as I was, not as I thought I had to be. Yes, there were expectations, but who had set them? I realized I had let others set my expectations for myself, and it was exhausting.

RESTED, REFUELED, AND RE-ENGAGED ON THE ROAD

Slowly, every part of me was beginning to heal. I was on a strict rest and supplement protocol that was brutal yet necessary. Through non-traditional medicine and a holistic practitioner named Treva Thompson of Living Tree Health and Wellness, I began to see hope, and my body literally regained life and energy.

Ironically, my character was deepened along with my faith during this journey, which is still ongoing, and the key has been self-awareness. I’ve learned to really listen to my body. What does it need right now? For a driven, high performer, this is a DRASTIC change of operation for me. But it’s necessary and it has literally saved and changed my life.

There are many of you road warriors out there who are like me. Some part of my story is your story. You’re somewhere along my journey. My hope is you find enlightenment, encouragement, and hope in knowing there is someone else out there like you.

I get you. I am you, road warrior.

I’m back on the road and now live a completely different road lifestyle. I no longer view a trip as a vacation but as my vocation. I’m the “one of these guys is not like the other” when traveling. And I love it. There are enough of those guys out there and I’m on a mission to challenge and inspire more to stop going off-road on the road.

As a result, the Six Energy Habits of The Elite Road Warrior came to life literally to save my road life and put me back at my best in a way that is sustainable and life-giving not draining.

I’ve learned the hard way how to leverage the road to transform my work, my health, and my home life while on business travel.

I’m thankful I did not completely lose my health and my family driving so hard for so long on the road and was allowed to not only recover but also help other road warriors along the way.

Disclaimer: This content is directly taken from the book, Elite Road Warrior: Six Energy Habits to Master the Business Travel Life. Used by permission.

Seven Things I Do On Every Flight

Most business travelers have one thing in common and that is they’re on an airplane. But how they use their time on the flight is where things change.

How we use our time is a very personal thing. Not convinced?

Tell someone they’re not using their time wisely and just wait for THAT response.

I suggest stepping back or ready for the inner defense attorney in them to come pouring out.

And since I’m a student of road warriors as a business travel performance expert, I’m always watching, listening, and learning how they spend their time.

One of the best labs for this observation is the airplane, imagine that.

You can tell who is on the plane for business travel and who is there for leisure. The ones that stand out as the business traveler use their time doing three primary things:

Work
Watch Something
Sleep

They sleep because they’re exhausted before they even land to their destination on the very 1st day of the trip.

We know how THAT story goes and not the ideal way to start your Anchor Day.

I’m often either asked how I spend my time on a plane and/or those around me comment on my use of time on the flight.

Let me give you a money PRO TIP this early in the article.

Create Your Flight Plan.

A pilot has a flight plan and so should you. Both take you from one place to the other.

This is the exact opposite of most road warriors.

Again, what do they do?

Work
Watch Something
Sleep

Some multi-task and somehow able to do all three at the same time and doing none of them well.

Have you seen that guy or girl? Is that you?

If it’s an early flight, they’re knocked out before the flight even takes off.

When they awaken from their coma nap with award mocking, I mean marvelous hair, they crack open their laptop and randomly go at it.

Then they get bored and start to watch something.

That’s more of a Flight C’mon Man than a Flight Plan.

There are four arguments going on with business travelers on “who’s time” it really is on a flight:

1. The company time and no matter what time you’re on a flight (I’ve worked for companies like that and despised it by the way)
2. The company’s time during normal business hours (and is there such a thing on the road?)
3. The company and your time as long as you get your work done
4. YOUR time and only your time unless you choose to use YOUR time for work – after all, business and personal hours are easily blurred on the road

No matter where you stand on the four arguments, the point is you need a plan and I propose…

The Elite Road Warrior Flight Plan which has the following three elements:

1. What you’re going to do
2. The order you’re going to do it
3. Approximate times

The moral of the story here, Road Warriors, is whatever you do, you do on purpose.

If you work, you know…

What you’re going to do
The order you’re going to do it
Approximate times

If it’s a blend (between work and your time), you know…

What you’re going to do
The order you’re going to do it
Approximate times

If it’s only your time…

What you’re going to do
The order you’re going to do it
Approximate times

Why is this so important? Because how we use our time is how we spend our lives and this includes a flight especially if you fly a ton as I do.

Elite Road Warriors use their time wisely in their Work, their Health, and their Home Life, the three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior.

And it starts with one of my favorite locations to do Focus Work.

It’s where the phone doesn’t ring.

Someone can’t swing by my office.

I can choose to be online or offline.

And that my fellow road warriors, is the gift of the plane.

Seven Things I Do On Every Flight

The following things everyone can do on every single flight no matter if it’s an hour, across the country, or across the ocean.

What changes? The length and frequency.

The longer the flight, the longer each of the following may occur and just how often I chose to do them. The important point here is what they are.

And remember, our Flight Plan exists of:
1. What you’re going to do
2. The order you’re going to do it
3. Approximate times

It’s asking this very critical question:

Where Do I Want This Time to Take Me in the End?

When you land, how did you use your time?

So learn to ask:

Where Do I Want This Time to Take Me in the End?

Read / Listen

The 1st thing I do every single time is read/listen to a book.

Why first?

Personally, I just can’t get any work done because of all the interruptions of people boarding the plane, getting by me since I prefer the aisle to get up to stand, stretch, and walk.

So, through the years, I’ve learned that if I don’t read the first thing, I rarely get to it later on, but that’s just me.

I find it also calms my mind and puts me in a place of personal or professional development which is energy habit #5.

Prioritize the important not urgent first.

To be clear, my reading time is boarding time after I find my set and get situated until once I reach 10K feet is my goal is my read/listen time.

It always happens and 100% predictable that I choose my seat and get set, we take off and the announcement of 10K feet.

So, leverage this predictable time to get your “read/listen on”.

Challenge: If you’ve not read the Elite Road Warrior book, I challenge you to get it, and dedicate this boarding to 10K time to read the book.

2. Drink Water

Most people avoid water on the plane for a couple of reasons:

They say they don’t want to have to get up to go to the bathroom but then will have two cokes or an adult beverage or three.
They just don’t drink water normally when they’re on the ground and it’s just not part of their Road Routine.

But the reality is you should double your amount of water on the plane. Huh? Why?

When you are on a plane, you’re basically flying in a sky desert, according to Life Hacker, where the humidity hovers around 10- 20%, which is less than the Sahara Desert, crazy enough.

This is due to the plane’s air circulation, or lack thereof.

Compare that to normal humidity, which is between 30-60%, and it’s no wonder you’re more dehydrated on a plane, which is why you often feel a little more fatigued, have headaches, and nausea when flying.

On a plane, if you were to bring a soaking wet washcloth on to the plane, within 90 minutes, it will be completely dry!

The last thing I do before boarding the plane is head to the bathroom and try and go (I hear my father say, “Son, just push and try anyway!”), then I fill up my water bottle.

It’s the times when I don’t and rely on drink service that we hit turbulence for six hours on a two-hour flight and the flight attendant can’t get up – or can they? Hmm.

And did you know every airline has at least this one thing in common? Free Refills on water.

So, I chug water often and let it do its magic.

Challenge: Drink about 8 ounces of water for every hour you’re in the air, According to Dr. Peter Hackett, the director of the Institute for Altitude MedicineSo just plan on drinking twice as much water on a plane when you’re flying.

3. Think Space

What is Think Space? Taking time to think and put your thoughts on paper.

It’s the key element of Process the Thoughts which is the 2nd part of the Invest in You Formula of energy habit 5, develop.

Why take time for Think Space?

Personally, my brain is always and I mean always going. I need time to get what’s in there, out of there.

I’ve always been good at the 1st part of the Invest in You Formula of Sharpening the Mind by putting things in but not getting things out.

And hence the need for Think Space.

What do I use?

The Elite Road Warrior Journal which has two sections: one for Think Space (process the thoughts) and one for Road Life journaling. (monitor the heart).

How long do I take? It depends on the flight but anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes.

What do I think about?

You name it.

Sometimes it’s just free form. I just open it up and go wherever my mind takes me.

And since it’s scary in there, what I think or write about maybe all over the place.

But usually 5 minutes or so into Think Space, my mind starts to settle and I think about something specific and process it.

Ideas:

Your trip
Follow-up
Your goals
How to connect with fam/friends

The point here is leveraging the peace and quiet in the air and create time to think.

I have a blog post about Think Space along with an entire chapter in the Elite Road Warrior book for more details and examples.

Challenge: make just 5 minutes to do nothing but think on your next flight and write it down, preferably in the Elite Road Warrior branded journal (just sayin’ man).

4. Stand and Stretch

Believe it or not, you’re actually not completely at the mercy of the seat belt light or everyone else’s sedentary behavior.

30-60 seconds to stand and stretch makes a huge difference every 30 minutes.

Why?

Your body gets tight especially the older you are.

And your mind gets tired.

I define a break as Move the Body and Rest the Mind. And a break can be a micro-break of 30-60 seconds. Perfect time to stand and stretch.

If you don’t stand and stretch consistently, you’ll be surprised and quickly of just how much this one act will do for you on a flight to go back and do whatever you’re doing.

Challenge: commit and take just one stand and stretch break during your next flight

5. Work

This one goes back to the four arguments of who’s time is it really on a flight.

If and when I work, I try to leverage this unique time:

No phone calls
No work chat or texts
No stop by your office to chat
No WiFi if you want to – if I want to be officially “off the grid”, I can be and ain’t nobody can do anything about it

My guidelines for working on a plane:

Have Rules – how long
Have a Plan – high leverage tasks
Have focus – drill down on only one task

This can be Deep Work time. If you abide by the guidelines, you can knock out this Time Block of focused, deep work time to make some serious progress.

Challenge: Choose one high leverage task at a time and focus on that one task for a set period of time

6. Walk

Every hour or more I get up and am “free to move about the cabin” as they say.

My water I drink (from Drink Water, 2nd on the list of things I do on every flight) kicks in and it’s Go Time and I mean literally.

It’s a great reminder to stand, stretch, and walk.

I always choose the bathroom in the furthest direction. Why? Get more walking and potentially stand and stretch time if I have to wait.

Again, going back to the definition of a break, Move the Body and Rest the Mind, a walk no matter where you walk is a great catalyst to do both and then come back even more refreshed to get back to the task at hand.

Challenge: commit and take at least one stroll down the aisle during your next flight (if you did #2, drink water, this may just be your trigger reminder)

7. Meditate

Once we’re about to land and the cabin is getting cleaned/ seat trays in their full and upright position, I use this time as a trigger to meditate.

I don’t get down in a lotus position and make a scene to go Zen on everyone. But I do take a few moments to meditate after I put all my gear away.

Why? Get in the right headspace.

I want to get where I’m going prepared, focused, and in the right state of mind.

And this is done by mindfulness.

You can hear more about it on the Elite Road Warrior Podcast episode #27 on why meditation didn’t work for me on the road… (which is a hook title, FYI) so I’m a big believer in the benefits of taking time on a flight to meditate and get my head in the right place.

Why? Because, at least for me, once that plane lands and I stand, it’s Go Time. To Work or head home.

Either way I want to be mindful.

Challenge: take just one minute to try and meditate once your flight begins to ascend to become mindful of what’s next after the flight

Honorable Mentions…

A. Watch Something

The default and the top two tasks by far most do on a plane.

If and when I watch something, this is my binge-watch something. Breaking Bad was my show and now it’s Bosch from Amazon Prime.

Sometimes, especially on a late flight on the way home, it’s nice to zone out to a show or a movie.

There’s nothing wrong with it but to me, it’s a reward once I get my Flight Plan high leveraged tasks complete.

B. Talk To Your Neighbor

The irony here is one of the unwritten rules of a business traveler on a flight is applying the DND international symbol – putting on the Do Not Disturb headphones then not making contact.

But sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone – you never know where it could lead. My last keynote came from someone I sat next to on a flight!

C. Develop

Learn something beyond a book/audiobook.

For this very reason, I’m creating an online course called The Kickstart Road Course which is the “video how-to” of the Elite Road Warrior book.

This is definitely “ELITE” Road Warrior status but a great use of focused time.

Let’s Land This Plane

I want to prove to you the power of a Flight Plan in action with focused work.

The Elite Road Warrior book was written over a nine-month period of time by committing to this very plan of the seven things I do on every flight. I prepared myself with reading, drinking water, and standing/stretching/walking to stay sharp to write flight after flight after flight.

This can be done Road Warriors and if you’ve read or listened to my book, you’ve benefited from it too!

043 – Five Decisions You Must Make at Every Restaurant on the Road

Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast Episode 043 show notes! This week we talk about the FUEL energy habit, and the 5 decisions to make at every restaurant.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

2:45 – Food as Fuel and Food as Energy

043 – Five Decisions You Must Make at Every Restaurant on the Road Share on X

7:50 – Break

10:03 – Decision 1: What I will Drink?

Always (and I mean always) order a glass of water if one is not already provided for you then here’s the key: drink as much as you can to start.
- Why? Most of us are more dehydrated than we even think so getting some water into your system is always a smart decision
Water fills us up and hopefully deters us from over-eating
Join the Free Water Match Program – make sure you match any drink you order 1:1 with water.
Think about what you’re really drinking and how much you plan to or should drink.

12:35 – Decision 2: Will I Order or Eat an Appetizer?

Always pre-decide – don’t base your decision on what looks and/or smells good.
If you choose, eat the cleaner and greener appetizer.
If you’re a moderator, which means you can take just one bite and stop, stick to the plan
If you’re an abstainer, which means if you start, hide the women and children, it’s going to get ugly quick and the appetizer will disappear, Know Thyself, and don’t start.

Before you go out, Know Thyself! #Fuel #EliteRoadWarrior Share on X

15:10 – Decision 3: What is My Main Course?

Always do your research – every restaurant now has an online menu so do some intel.

Avoid Impulse Choosing! #Fuel #MakeTheHealthiestChoice #EliteRoadWarrior Share on X

Put the sauce on the side – sometimes when it’s doused all over the place, you’re forced to eat ALL of it. But if you can just try it, maybe it’s not as good as advertised. Sometimes just a dip here and there is all you need and a better choice in the long run.
Add First Then Reverse – first and foremost, get the healthy in. Start there if this is not natural yet and feels like too big of an ask. Add the good stuff in first then begin reversing by taking the bad stuff off. For example, the sauces all over the meat or salad.

17:43 – Decision 4: What Are My Side Dishes?

Always have at least one vegetable and preferably with not a ton of processing – steamed broccoli / asparagus / green beans, sautéed spinach, cauliflower, etc.
Choose a sweet potato over a baked potato or fries
Choose double veggies – another way to sneak in more “Green” of the clean and green.
Take a healthy side to go.

20:05 – Decision 5: If I Will Have Dessert

Learn to say no upfront so others know where you stand
Know if you’re a moderator or abstainer – I know the “wanna be moderators” who there “just a bite” is the gift that keeps on giving or should I say taking. I’ve eaten with you people.
Choose a fruit bowl – this is my go to when I want something sweet but not go down heavy with the dessert. I love anything berries and you can’t go wrong.
Carry dark chocolate with you – I carry a bar in my Carry a Controlled Substance work lunch box (episode 037) – far healthier choice and less ugly in the long run.

22:26 – Let’s Land This Plane

Links and Resources:

Road Warrior Assessment

Elite Road Warrior Book

Keto Diet by Dr. Josh Axe