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Five Lies About Business Travel

Business travel has many misconceptions. Someone who lives in the 9-to-5 office world truly does not understand our world. At all.

They have the essence of routine, consistency, and predictable-ness. Every single day.

Almost the exact opposite of a business traveler. And we like it that way.

Then there are family and friends who think we’re continually on vacation and we “have the life.”

Although they may think this is the case, whether we realize it or not, there are realities about business travel that are just not true.

Two specific groups of people within our inner circle of business travel, need to know the truth:

  1. Future business travelers – whether you’re in a company that is grooming you to travel or you want to switch jobs or even careers to begin to travel for work
  2. Leaders of business travelers – those that oversee and influence the work life of a road warrior

Why these two specific groups?

It’s because perception becomes reality and truth oftentimes just must be shared to expose the lie.

I’ve uncovered five specific lies I want to expose especially for future business travelers and those who lead business travelers. Each lie will also have a pushback, the truth, and an elite tip.

Five Lies About Business Travel

Lie #1 – Business Travel is a luxurious life

This is the one I hear all the time from friends and family. When someone meets me for the 1st time or hasn’t seen me in a while, they usually ask about all my “cool adventures.” Aka: tell me about your luxurious work life.

Here’s the Pushback – When someone hears you travel for work, they think or even say, “That’s awesome. You get to fly to cool cities, stay in really nice hotels, eat out at restaurants all the time, and get served. And you’re by yourself. That’s the life! I would do anything for your life.”

Does business travel offer some great perks? Of course. But like anything, too much of a good thing, or anything for that matter, grows old and loses its luster. The same is true with business travel. Just ask a road warrior who’s been at it for a while.

We’re not going on a vacation with a stress-free flight to an exotic place. We’re going to work, man. I’m in a suit, not shorts and flip-flops.

Hotels begin to look the same. The food begins to taste the same.

The outsider, whether an office-only co-worker or friends/family just doesn’t see what we know as “traveler friction” – delayed flights, canceled meetings, endless traffic, late nights with people we don’t really like. And on and on and on.

Truth: Business travel is a vocation not a vacation with different expectations and needed results.

Elite Tip: Find something to look forward to “doing or seeing” on every single trip:

  • Go to a ballgame
  • Visit a cool site in the city
  • Eat at a local favorite restaurant

In Elite Road Warrior lingo, we call this Downtime – time to be, not to be on. You need downtime to allow yourself to unwind so you can perform at your best. If I’m by the ocean, I always see a sunset. If I’m in a town I’ve never visited, I always see the sites. If they have a sports team, I must see a game. If they’re known for a certain style of food, I find that premier restaurant. You get the point.

Business travel is not a luxurious life but it doesn’t have to be a boring life either and if we play it right, the road can bring us the energy to perform at an elite level.

Lie #2 – It’s hard to eat healthy on the road

At first, this lie is very easy to believe.

For too many years, I believed, supported, and defended this lie. I flew by the Travel 20 to the Entitled 40… pounds that is, when in reality, I simply had no food boundaries and literally had the weight to prove it. I didn’t pass up on any of the king’s food or miss any of the king’s wine. So, of course, I said it was hard to eat healthy on the road.

Here’s the Pushback – Many of my meals I don’t actually choose the food (meaning the client provides lunch or chooses the dinner location).

This is a generalization and, again, I get it since it used to be me. It’s true, this happens, but sometimes, most of the time I have choices. And even if the client provides the lunch or chooses the dinner location, there are still healthier options.

Truth: Eating healthy is a proactive decision, not a reactive determination.

You can influence the client far more than you realize. Often, they’re uncertain what to choose in the first place. I’m often very clear that I eat on the healthier side. And I never let them determine “what is healthy for me.” I’ll give them examples of a grilled chicken dark green salad for lunch or steak or seafood with veggies for dinner.

I also realize there are often limited options at the airport. I get that but don’t rely on the airport for your nutrition.

Elite Tip: Do your intel at an airport. For example, as I’m walking out of the airport from the gate after landing, I’m looking around at all my food options but not for right now. But for when? My return flight home so I know if I can eat at this airport or I need to prepare in advance to eat somewhere else.

Elite Road Warrior teaches four words that should be your guide on eating healthy on the road: Make the Healthiest Choice.

Not the easiest choice, or the quickest choice, or the largest choice, or the tastiest choice but make the healthiest choice. It can be done if eating healthy is a proactive decision, not a reactive determination.

 

Lie #3- I have no control of my time on the road

This lie is a sneaky one because we subtly learn to be reactive on business travel. We watch others. We see our co-workers, bosses, fellow road warriors.

We do things in the moment. We’re just not trained how to do Road Life.

Every company I’ve ever worked for did a good or great job training me on the product or service but when it came to how to do road life and how to manage my time and energy on the road, it happened only… NEVER!

The road is a completely different animal that is a developed, learned skill to know when and how to work in the margins so you’re not working all the time which leads to burnout and inconsistent results.

Here’s the Pushback – I’m not in charge of my schedule. You don’t know how many meetings I have or what’s required of me on every single trip. I work every second I can on the road.

I hear you on that one and have been “that guy” before for way too long.

Truth: You have far more control of your time and results than you realize.

Once I started taking personal responsibility for MY time and MY energy, everything began to change. I didn’t wait for my company to train and teach me because in my case, it never would’ve happened. In fact, this is the very reason I created the Elite Road Warrior Group! I want to train business travelers, like you, how to make the most of the road.

Elite Tip: Intentionally put up Road Blocks every day of your business trip. Huh? I thought Road Blocks were a bad thing. Not if you use them properly.

A Road Block is a barrier around something to get work done. In this context, you want as many Road Blocks on the road as you can get in your day!

You need to schedule blocks of time to focus on one specific task (email, phone calls, quotes, data entry, presentations, etc) for a set period of time so you can get consistent results.

When you schedule Road Blocks and focus, you’ll be amazed at how much you can get done in this set window of time and you’ll have more time than you think on the road. It’s the work smarter not harder principle.

Energy Habit Four is Perform and goes into a ton of detail about how to perform at an elite level. The book, Elite Road Warrior goes into far more detail so pick up the physical, digital, or audio version today.

Lie #4 – My family is not affected when I’m on the road

This lie gets personal quick and can easily get exposed by a handful of inquiry questions.

A few questions can expose just how any given road warrior views “life back home” while on the road.

Or to put it another way: “Says the man who leaves his wife or significant other to take care of everything back home including YOUR kids!”

Disclaimer: Women don’t fall for this lie at all in fact they actually feel the stress of home on the road worrying if things back home are going as planned.

For the rest of us, do you know who is really affected?

  • Your spouse who is left to take care of everything on their own
  • Your kids who now have to rely on just one parent

Here’s the Pushback – Well, they’ve never said anything or they don’t know anything different because I’ve always traveled.

Truth: Your family needs you to be present on the road just as you are at home but leverage the time in a different way.

Energy Habit Six is called Connect and it focuses on leveraging your time on the road to connect with those you love back home in intentional, thoughtful, and creative ways.

This means leveraging the road to continue to be present in ways you wouldn’t normally do at home and end up making an impact on them.

Even though I’m not physically there with my family, I can still be visually and audibly present.

There was a stretch that my travel was so heavy and it brought on so much stress with my wife and kids. It was brutal on my marriage and my relationship with my kids, especially the younger ones.

I finally heard my wife say “something’s gotta change” (words you never want to hear) and realized she had been giving me clues all along. I just wasn’t listening and noticing.

As a result, I vowed to “change my ways” but realized I need to be patient, purposeful and planned.

Elite Tip: three tangible “change my ways” products to help you stay connected with your family on the road…

  • Not Forgotten Journal – learning to take just two minutes to write something to my wife each day in a journal I would one day give to her
  • Flat Kiddos – colored characters that I take pictures of in my world
  • Connect Cards – creative cards made by kids for kids that I leave and send to my kids writing meaningful words

I challenge you to stop denying that your family is not affected and to make connecting a huge priority.

 

Lie #5 – There are no temptations with business travel

We’re all wired differently from our interests to our style to our preferences to our attractions.

For those who don’t travel and are put in a place where temptation can appear, they can easily assume and even judge that it would never happen to them.

Here’s the Pushback – I’ve handled being put in a tempting position before and would be strong again

But do you know what changes? Being potentially thousands of miles from home and nobody may ever know.

Episode 085 and the article from two weeks ago discusses the dark side of business travel because it’s real, scary, and dangerous. We discuss the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

  • There are food temptations / drink temptations / sexual temptations on the road
  • We have endless opportunities to experiment that can lead to new road habits that can lead to hidden addictions
  • We can even be put into moral decisions we thought ever thought we would be put in and respond in ways we may regret the rest of our lives

Truth: You can have integrity on the road when you’re aware of the temptations and have boundaries.

Elite Tip: Two Powerful Words: Know Thyself

The phrase came from the teachings of Socrates and popularized by Plato. It was the first of three maxims inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. The two maxims that followed “know thyself” were “nothing to excess” and “surety brings ruin”.

The 2nd phrase is applicable here too: nothing to excess.

Know Thyself means to recognize how human I really am and the right place meeting the right circumstances can take me down. So, let me get personal: I know I have an addictive personality. I’m a risk-taker and too easily push boundaries.

As a result, I MUST be very cautious on the road to not compromise my integrity, reputation, and family. I’m old enough to know the difference between short-term pleasure and long-term regret but must never believe the lie there are no temptations that can affect me on business travel.

Awareness on the road is key. My hope is this article was revealing, challenging, and a reminder of how easy we can fall into lies that can affect so many aspects of our road results and ultimately our lives.

Leverage….. to help you become and remain an Elite Road Warrior today to eliminate burnout and exceed results.

You Got This!

Four High-End Sleep Aids for Business Travel

When I first started as a business traveler, the hotel was my escape.

I loved two specific aspects or gifts if you will:

  1. Solitude – nobody but me
  2. Silence – any noise came from me

I stayed up late watching whatever I wanted and oh I did.

I also created a bad habit of not sleeping well in a hotel or so I thought. This was self-imposed because if the evening was my own, I would eat dinner with my laptop lover, bring her up to my room for a nightcap. I would turn on the TV, iPad, had my phone on – any screen all the time.

Then I would have the room lights on until way too late.

Hmmm… shocking I was not able to sleep between all the stimulus, lights, adult beverages, etc.

But once I crashed a few years ago physically, I had had had to learn how to redo life in general then transfer it to the road.

My first adjustment was influenced by one of the authors of the book (and my favorite title ever) Sleeping Your Way to the Top by Terry Cralle.

She taught me I needed to focus first on the quality of my sleep before I ever worked on the quality of my sleep. This was GREAT news for someone who didn’t sleep that much or that well.

In the Elite Road Warrior Group we call this concept: IMPROVE Then INCREASE.

So, I began to look for tools, gadgets, hacks, resources that could help me improve my sleep first.

Some were small, inexpensive tweaks that all worked and I still use today.

But the longer I’ve been on the road, my gadgets’ costs and importance have increased. Now, I’m cautious with my money, and although not afraid to spend it on worthwhile products and services, I always did my homework and research sometimes to a fault.

As a result, I found there are a few key sleep aids that I’ve come to rely on big time on the road. These four are in the order I use them on any given evening on the road not necessarily order of importance.

Three of the items are one-time purchases and the 4th is an annual subscription.

Four High-End Sleep Aids for Business Travel

One – Blue Blocker Glasses

The research is overwhelming now on the effects of the blue light that emits from our screens whether a TV, phone, or tablet.

Doubt me? Drive through your street in the evening and see a window that has a TV on and watch that room glow with light – blue light. More proof? If you have an iPhone or iPad, put on Night Shift or Android to Night Mode or Night Light to very warm, and you’ll see the change in color hue big time.

Now, I’m not so hardcore that I don’t have the TV on in the evening or my computer screen or phone. I’ve dramatically improved since my days of old in my quest to become an elite road warrior.

So, the 1st of the high-end sleep aids for business travel became quality blue blocker glasses. I started with inexpensive blue blocker glasses from Amazon and it was just that, a start. But once I got the quality blue blocker glasses: game-changer. It was such a noticeable difference and worth the price.

Personally, I use The Swanwick brand called Swannies and on Amazon they are $69. You can also purchase straight from the Swanwick site here.

When do I use them?

When I’m in my hotel room for the night, I have an evening routine where I do the following:

  • Turn the room temperature down (66-68°)
  • Turn the room lights down
  • Change into comfortable clothes (I’m an UnderArmor/Hurley guy)
  • Put on my blue blocker glasses

Now, whatever I do the rest of the evening in my room from work on my computer, have the game on the tv, or watch a show on my iPad, my glasses are blocking the blue light emitted from the screen.

What if you have a blue blocker already set on your screens? Great! Double it up. Try it and you’ll notice the difference.

I challenge you to do something, anything, just not nothing with Sleep Aid 1: blue blocker glasses. Start inexpensive and work your way up or learn from me and just make the investment of the high-end glasses upfront.

Either way, begin implementing this tool to improve your sleep.

Remember, IMPROVE than INCREASE your sleep.

Two – Dep Sleepwear Hoodie

There are comfy clothes for bed and then there’s next level wear that is designed to enhance your sleep.

I do everything I can in my room to block out any light at all and literally GO DARK in my hotel room.

But often, no matter what I try with my hacks for the curtains with BYOC (bring your own clips) or packing electrical tape in my Sleep Kit (episode 035), oftentimes, the light just finds a way in the room.

I was searching for a solution and met the founder of Dep Sleepwear, Glenn Paradise at the Sleep Show sponsored by the National Sleep Foundation.

I loved hearing the back story of how Glenn came down with the flu and his body temperature was all over the place not to mention struggling to sleep during the day with the light. So, he solved his own problem and created a product that regulates temperature with compression fitting wear that has both a hood and an eye mask that is inside of the hood.

Brilliant!

I just had to try it and was hooked on the first night in my hotel room.

Since it could help me IMPROVE my sleep, I was in and loved trying this experiment.

So, once I turn the corner and get ready for bed, I do the following:

  • Brush my teeth
  • Wash my face
  • Plug in all my devices to charge
  • Put on my Dep Sleepwear hoodie

This seemingly remedial routine is a trigger for me and cues my body it’s time to “shutter down”.

The hoodie comes in male and female versions along with compression and loose fit.

If I forget my Dep Sleepwear hoodie, I instantly know it and of course, it’s my 4 or 5 day trip for the week.

Rookie mistake.

The founder and I are working on creating an Elite Road Warrior branded Dep Sleepwear version so keep an eye out by checking out the store at EliteRoadWarrior.com for this and other Elite Road Warrior Products to help you implement the six energy habits.

The cost is $99 at the Dep Sleepwear website.

This product will be a must for you once you experience it and it’s worth every penny if you’re serious about IMPROVING your sleep.

Three – 10% Happier Meditation App

I was one of the biggest skeptics of meditation. I had every excuse for why it wouldn’t work for me and if you remember the quote I put in the Elite Road Warrior book,

If you want to do something you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. –  Jim Rohn

I didn’t want to and therefore had an excuse. The reality is I didn’t know how or really understand the benefits so therefore we don’t try what we don’t understand.

But after listening to the audiobook, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris, I gave it a shot and learned to translate it to the road.

“Getting my Road Tate On” is what I call it now.

So, when and how do I incorporate meditation and bedtime? Once I put my Dep Sleepwear on, I have the room dark and I do the following:

  • Open the 10% Happier app
  • Choose a 5 or 10-minute sleep meditation
  • Try to relax and slow my body and mind down

Does this always work? Nope.

But it DRAMATICALLY increases my chances of falling asleep sooner which matters immensely to me who often has a difficult time falling asleep in a hotel room. If I’m really struggling to fall asleep and just can’t shut the thinker down, I do a second round of meditation and get my Road Sleep Tate on again and often that does the trick.

I personally prefer and endorse the 10% Happier app paid version. There are a ton of free and paid apps and I spent a ton of time researching, experimenting, and narrowing it down to 10% Happier. I like the teachers, the variety, and the interface. The paid version is $99.99 per year and around the holidays you can find it 40% off.

The point is trying meditation a few minutes before bed to just slow you down.

Four – Bose Sleepbuds

I’m a huge fan of Bose in general and traveled for years with the Bose Noise Canceling Headphones.

I had seen the initial advertisement and research on the Bose Sleepbuds but at the same Sleep Show I found Dep Sleepwear, I had a conversation with an engineer who designed the Sleepbuds. A cool conversation that did not put me to sleep. Just sayin’.

He mentioned the product target market is the business traveler and was very interested in Elite Road Warrior Group trying them out especially after his boss heard me speak later that day.

What makes Bose Sleepbuds different?

  • They actually fit in your ear and are surprisingly comfortable
  • You have numerous sounds to choose from that actually download on to the Sleepbud
  • Each sound is not a loop (like many sleep app sounds which actually disrupts your sleep)
  • They are NOISE-CANCELING which is huge in a hotel room
  • An alarm can be set to gently wake you up

Personally, I love to control the sounds in my room that don’t come from my phone at a safe distance away so the Sleepbuds are critical.

When do I use my sleep buds?

  • After my 10% Happier Sleep Tate is complete
  • I set my wake-up time alarm
  • Choose the sound that just feels right
  • Boom – put my sleep mask on from my Dep Sleepwear hood and off I go

Honorable Mention – Lavender Essential Oil

Back in a past interview, I interviewed Beckie Farrant, an essential oil expert and I admitted my skepticism of essential oils.

After being surrounded by research and hesitant personal experience, I’m a big believer in essential oils, especially for sleep.

How do I use essential oil to help me sleep?

Two ways:

  1. In the vents – Huh? Come again? Before I leave my hotel room for the evening, I put a few drops of Lavender essential oil on a cotton ball and put it in the vent. Why? So when I come back to my room, the scent is of the calming scent of Lavender and helps prepare me for bed. It’s become a routine for me now.
  2. On my feet – I use a rollerball that has a mixture of essential oil (Lavender and Serenity by DoTerra to be exact) along with fractionated coconut oil and rub it on my big toe. Why there? It’s the highest absorption spot on my entire body.

There are two options to start with Lavender:

  1. Buy a small 5ML bottle of Lavender in an introductory travel kit provided by DoTerra which also has Lemon and Peppermint. Listen to episode 020 to learn more about the benefits of Lemon and Peppermint but the cost is under $30 and lasts for many months.
    2. Buy a large 15ML bottle of Lavender on its own.

I feel using the essential oil of Lavender will help aid you in sleep on the road and can become part of your evening routine and an essential element in your Sleep Kit.

To learn more about my Sleep Kit check out episode 035.

There you have it Road Warriors, four high-end sleep aids for business travel:

Remember, the overall goal with Sleep under the REST energy habit is IMPROVE then INCREASE your sleep.

For me, I start with the blue blocker glasses to control the blue light from the screens, put on my Dep Sleepwear hoodie to control my body temperature and light with the eye mask, get my TATE on with a meditation from 10% Happier to slow my brain down, then set and fall asleep with my Bose Sleepbuds controlling my sound.

Often, sleep quality is all about the controllable:

  • Light
  • Sound
  • Temperature
  • Focus

And that is exactly why I leverage the four high-end sleep aids on the road. If you’re serious about your sleep or need to get serious, then make it a priority to invest in the four high-end sleep aids for business travel.

Go and leverage the four high-end sleep aids to become an Elite Road Warrior today.

You Got This!

Other References

Top 10 Business Travel Hacks Guide

7 Early Warning Signs for Companies to Avoid Business Travel Burnout

086 – Gettin’ (un)Busy with Garland Vance

Transcription

Bryan Paul Buckley 0:00
Episode 86 of the Elite Road Warrior Podcast. Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast where we believe you can leverage the road to transform your work, health, and home life while on business travel to ultimately master the business travel life. If you’re a road warrior, and a great chance you’re on the road right now then this podcast is for you.

Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast I’m your host Bryan Paul Buckley, fellow Road Warrior husband one father of five yeah you heard me five. As an author, I absolutely love getting guests who I just feel like I can go mano a mano with on energy, but more importantly the content. But I’m also committed each and every business trip to becoming and remaining an elite roadwork I would love nothing more than for you join my master evil plan and this worthwhile road trip. Now, the problem. Finding a guest to interview for the podcast can sometimes be a challenge. I want to bring relevant content to the life of a business traveler.

So if and when I find great content, the question always comes down to one simple question. Can the content be translated to a road warrior’s life on the road? and I found today’s guest on one of my favorite podcasts, the read to lead podcast by Jeff Brown, if you don’t have it download it now, his content resonated with me so closely with a pulse of elite road. We’re in this specific interview, that I instantly bought his book and consumed it, which is rare. I then reached out to him to ask my one simple question of how he could translate his content to a road warrior’s life on the road? And he absolutely nailed this answer because he is a road warrior, and this episode is a result.

So let’s meet our interview guests right now. Dr. Garland Vance has been helping people when teams get clarity about their life and their leadership for over 20 years, he’s an author. He’s a speaker. He’s a consultant. Along with his wife, Dorothy. He co-founded “Advance” playing words with his name, leadership to help high capacity leaders in organizations live and lead with purpose, productivity, and peace. He has helped his clients which span from fortune 500 companies to nonprofits and stress less, accomplished more, and fulfill their highest priorities. He is the author of getting unbusy which Forbes named as one of the seven books everyone on your team should read. Garland earned a doctorate in the leadership in spiritual formation from Denver seminary. There he researched the effects of business on leaders and how to overcome both individual and organizational overcommitment. As much as he loves to work is not as high as priority Garland enjoys reading watching movies, drinking coffee, trying new food, engaging deep conversations running in East Tennessee hiking. But most of all, he loves spending time with his wife, Dorothy, and their three children. In a moment, I’ll be asking the following questions to Garland. What is the business vortex on the road? What is the core four? And how can we implement that on the road of all places? What are the productivity suggestions that help us to become unbusy? We should apply on the road. And how Here’s the money question. How do we become unbusy on the road? And it’s always so much more. It’s go time.

Well, I am live right now with Garland Vance, how are you in Where are you my friend?

Garland Vance 3:58
I’m doing great. Thanks so much, Bryan. I’m in Knoxville, Tennessee at my home right now.

Bryan Paul Buckley 4:04
Well and for the listener who’s an audio-only person right now they’re not witnessing your Monday shirt coming back after vacation. And just Can you describe it? I mean, I don’t know how many words that I could use to describe it Garland?

Garland Vance 4:20
Well, it’s a navy blue shirt with huge turquoise flamingos. I don’t know if turquoise flamingos even exist but they do on my shirt. And like I said, I was on vacation last week and knew I needed to come back and have energy and be ready to go this week. And so I wore my ugliest most energetic shirt that I could find.

Bryan Paul Buckley 4:42
And thanks for that. And if you’re a leg guy then man, I’m telling you, you got a lot of Flamingo legs here. So you gotta allow a lot of thought here, but we’re gonna keep this PG for the listener. Before we dive in and we go too far on the business travel side of your content Garland we had a conversation about Bottom Miami kings fan turned Florida Gator who lives in Tennessee Vols enemy grounds. Can you just unpack that for the listener? Who’s in the SEC gone? Come on, man.

Garland Vance 5:13
Yeah, so I grew up, my parents were Virginia Tech grads, I knew that I didn’t want to cheer for anybody who had a turkey as their mascot and so I picked the Miami Hurricanes when I was growing up, but then I married into a Florida Gator family. And it caused a lot of tension early on in the marriage. And so I made a deal with my wife and really hurt dad as well. I said, so this is back in 1999. I said the next time that the Florida Gators win like a legit national championship, not curling or something like that, like a legit national championship. I will become a Florida Gator fan. And so they pretty soon after that won two football national championships, two basketball national championships, I actually had a chance to go see one of the basketball championship games. And so I became a Florida Gator fan. And then a couple of years ago, my family decided we were ready to live where we wanted to live and move where we wanted to move. And so we picked Knoxville, Tennessee. So as Florida Gators, we came to the middle of a Tennessee volunteer country and I don’t tell a lot of Tennesseans around me what our allegiance is. It’s a dangerous place to live.

Bryan Paul Buckley 6:37
In that’s an awesome story. I’m just gonna leave that there and let him make the comments that are gonna be there especially if they are college football fans. So let’s unpack everything getting unbusy in so why don’t you give us the backstory of why you wrote the book called Getting Unbusy and maybe even a 30,000 foot you know all pun intended here. You know, with being a business traveler being on a plane overview of the book and your content Garland?

Garland Vance 7:08
Yeah, so back in 2013, I started having all of these physical problems like chronic migraine headaches and forgetfulness, and heart palpitations and ended up going to the doctor and saying, you know, what is the world is going on? And my, my doctor asked me to tell him about my life and I said, Oh, it’s a really good life. It’s just busy, right? That’s how we all respond that you know, how are you? I’m good. I’m so busy. And so I said, it’s a good life. It’s really busy. And he said, Well, tell me about busy. And I said, you know, well, I worked 50 to 60 hours a week with this nonprofit that’s part of Chick-fil-a. I’m working on my doctrine and leadership. That’s 10 to 20 hours a week. I traveled for 60 days a year. I am helping our church, get some leadership program started. I have three young kids, you know, it’s just a really good life. It’s busy. And he looked at me and he said, Garland, I’m actually concerned for your life because you’re so busy. That it’s going to kill you if you don’t kill it. And I wasn’t sure that he was right, I didn’t know but because I was working on this doctrine and leadership because so many people talk about how busy they are I started researching what is busyness? How to you be a type-A personality, while not having this, you know, chronic stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm. And as I started researching it, I became so impassioned by the topic, I ended up focusing the rest of my doctoral research on it and then writing this book, getting unbusy to help high capacity leaders like you, an elite road warrior like our like people who are listening right now, how to help them stress less and accomplish more.

Bryan Paul Buckley 8:46
And that’s a great overview and one of the quotes that you had Garland that I that resonated with me because your story is my story. And you know, it’s your quote said this, I cramped my life so full of busyness that I diminished my purpose, productivity, and peace. Which kind of leads into the next question? So you have just as Elite Road warrior has three focus areas of work, health, and home life, you do as well. So why don’t you share a little bit about that?

Garland Vance 9:12
Sure. So I talk, as you mentioned about purpose, productivity, and peace. So purpose is knowing your why it’s the reason you’re on the planet. It’s discoverable. It’s actionable. And as you discover it, your purpose leads to productivity, productivity is all about doing your “why”. And so it’s about the, you know, what am I actually doing with my time with my energy with my attention, but peace is about resting in your why it’s coming to the realization and becoming okay with the fact that I can’t do everything in the world. I can’t even do everything that I want. I have to be able to focus, my time, my energy, my attention on the impact that I want to be able to have. The way I’ll say it for a lot of people is you can do anything you want but you can’t do everything at once. And so peace is all about beginning to say, Okay, what are the one or two things that I’m going to do right now that are going to help advance my purpose?

Bryan Paul Buckley 10:14
So is that what we start with peace mean? What’s the reason cuz obviously you’re talking about that peace, peace, peace, which seems obviously almost like a forbidden or impossible word on the road. But why do we start with peace?

Garland Vance 10:28
Yeah, so I had this mentality that if, before I started studying dizziness, that if I am a person of purpose, and if I am a person of productivity, then the byproduct of that is I’m going to be peaceful but that was not the case. Because what happens is even as we become purposeful as we become productive, we begin to add more and more and more commitments into our lives. And the more commitments we add into our lives, the busier we become, the more exhausted stressed out, we become. And so we have to really shift and say, I’m going to start with peace. I’m going to start with rest, first mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, I’m going to start with rest. And as a result of that I’ll cut out on my overcommitment, which will let me discover and live out my purpose and do it in a productive way.

Bryan Paul Buckley 11:21
And I love that. And initially, we start reading the book, you feel like you got to push back on that since you do a great job unpacking why that’s important. But you also have a framework of the book and that’s why I love our conversation and kind of how we patterned each other because you’ve got your three areas and I’ve got mine work health and home life, you’ve got productivity, peace, and purpose. Then you also do you’ve got a framework garland that works you through the steps to getting on busy. So before we get too far down the road, give us the context of that specific framework. And then we’re going to kind of bob and weave on each one of those indirectly. So feel free to reference, you know which step that is.

Garland Vance 12:03                                                                                                                                          Sure. So as I was beginning to study busyness, I watched this television show on hoarding. And what hit me for the first time, is that you know, hoarders are people who try to cram too much stuff in too small of a space. But it doesn’t matter how small or big or even huge the space is, they’re always cramming too much in. Well, busyness is this tendency of cramming too many commitments into smaller space, all we have is 24 hours a day, and we’re trying to cram 28 hours worth of experience and productivity into it. So as I watched this television show, I was like, Okay, how do hoarders get out of their hoarding habit and therefore, how to get out of their busy habits? And what I discovered is there are five steps. The first step is decide, all right, you have to decide the business. Isn’t worth it that you’re too busy that you’re ready to get unbusy The second step is deconstruct, you actually need to deconstruct some of the inhibiting beliefs and unwanted habits, or bad habits, and unwanted commitments that keep you trapped in busyness. The third step is you begin to design what’s the life that you want to live the actual pace and space that you want to live? What are the relationships you want to build your life around? What are the dreams and the priorities that you want to build your life around because most busy people put their dreams and their priorities on the back burner for all of these lesser goals that they’re trying to achieve? So step, step three is about designing. Step four is developing, developing an unbusy calendar, unbusy mind, unbusy habits. And then finally, Step five is drawing people in drawing in your family, your friends, and your co-workers. And ultimately, this book was written for those leaders in business who are saying I’m doing so much my people are doing so much. But we’ve got to accomplish more Well, yeah, there’s actually a way of accomplishing more while doing a whole lot less. And I love that you and ended the book with that, which was not part of the original plan per our conversation. And also other interviews that you’ve done as well hearing that. So I really think that’s critically important cuz obviously if that’s how I’m able to stay unbusy, but then also to that, I can do life with others. So I really, really value that. So right out of gate, let’s define your definition of busyness.

Sure, so busyness isn’t over-commitment to too many good commitments, and I give this illustration.

Bryan Paul Buckley 14:43
That’s money. Say that again.

Garland Vance 14:45
Yeah. So it’s an over-commitment to too many good commitments. Nobody’s busy because a bad thing, but at least most people aren’t right like maybe a drug dealer or dictator is busy because they’re, they’re doing bad things, but for me. Sir, I’m really clear with them. Right? If you’re listening to this and you’re a dictator, you’re probably busy because of bad stuff. But right, but most people are busy because of work and it’s work that may be meaningful for them. It’s, you know, kids activities that you’re doing at night, it’s community obligations that they’re meeting. It’s none of the people that I met are busy with bad things. They’re busy because they’ve taken on so many good opportunities that when you put all those good opportunities together, it becomes bad.

Bryan Paul Buckley 15:35
An over-commitment to too many good commitments. love it. You define what’s called the busyness vortex. And obviously, we were going to put that in the context of the road. What is that?

Garland Vance 15:47
Yeah, so the busyness vortex is the easiest way to tell if you’re too busy. And it’s there’s three parts of it. So if you imagine kind of a tornado swirling around, there’s this tornado of hurry, worry and scurry, and I’m a traveler, so it’s so easy to see this when we travel. Hurry happens when you start moving your body at a super-fast pace, right? You know, maybe you’re not even late for a flight, but you’re just pushing super hard. You’re walking fast, you’re talking fast. You’re breathing fast, right? There’s just this, this fast movement to your body, which then leads to worry and worries about the anxiety that begins to swirl around in your mind and your heart. You begin to you know, just worry Am I going to be on time? Can I get it all done? You know, how am I gonna do this. So all these worries, some thoughts begin to fill your mind. And then finally, that leads to scurry and scurry is this inability to mentally concentrate on the one most important thing that you need to do right now. It’s when your mind is just racing back and forth and back and forth between all of these different topics and it feels like you’re not getting anything done because you’re not, but it’s because you can’t just concentrate for a minute on the next thing that you need to do. So this busyness vortex of Hurry, worry, and scurry is the easiest way to see if you’re a busyness addict.

Bryan Paul Buckley 17:18
And most of us experience that on Monday morning flying out of our said airport, wondering whether it’s the weather, whether we’re going to make it on time, or if you’re really good. You’ll hit traffic on the way to the airport, and you will start your hurry. At 5:15 am on Monday morning, right? And then you finally get to your destination running behind and the worry about the meeting and then you show up there you know fat man and a little coat you know that that just sweating because of what just happened, right? And the next thing you get to the meeting and that’s when scurry kicks in that inability to focus. When all of a sudden your heart’s still catching up with you. You’re still sweating on the back of your back, and you’re just not present. So I don’t think personally, busyness has anything to do with road warriors. So we can just, you know, skip that is completely irrelevant. It’s a great point, you know, and again, it parallels for us the exhaustion cycle. Busy, I can’t stop now. And I feel hurried right there. And then it goes into beat down where it’s just like, I don’t want to do this. I can’t take this in and I start to feel stressed. And then where we both end up, which is burnout, which means I can’t keep going. I just feel numb. I don’t care anymore. Yeah, so I love the business vortex and I’m going to use that hopefully with your permission and I’ve got on recording right now because it is that hurry worry, and scurry feelings which we have all the time. Now, the little bit, the antithesis of angle and back to the peace, a place of purpose, productivity, and peace. you discuss what’s called a Core 4, and how, how do we implement those on the road of all places? What are they and how do we implement them there.

Garland Vance 19:01
So the core four is part of the design step. And it’s the idea is that what I started with was this question of what are the best practices of highly productive unbusy people? And what I discovered was busy people put relationships and rest and recreation and reflection they put those on the backburner. Those rarely make it into a busy person’s calendar. They just hope they’ll find time to do it, but they rarely find time to do it. But highly productive unbusy people put recreation and relationships and reflection and rest first in their calendar and then build the rest of their life around those that wait for so you didn’t join before

Bryan Paul Buckley 19:49
You put those in your calendar ahead of time? That sounds like that’s on purpose.

Garland Vance 19:54
Right, it is on purpose. If you put those in your calendar first. When am I going to have time for relationships when am I gonna build time for recreation, for rest, or reflection? You put those into your calendar first. And then you build everything else around it. And this is critical for road warriors, right? I travel, you know, I still continue to travel. But as I’m traveling, what I have to do is first put into my calendar. Okay, what is my rest gonna look like? When am I gonna stop for the night no matter what, what is recreation, which is activities that you love to do for the sheer sake of doing them? So I love reading I love drinking coffee. You know, there’s a ton of recreational activities that I love to do, including exercise, and especially if I’m in a new city, I’d love to run that area and kind of check it out. So I’ve got to build those into my calendar first. When am I going to connect with the most important people in my life, my wife, my kids, and so I make sure that’s in my calendar first. And then I build everything else around that and so you know, in working with a client I want to make sure I first made time for those core four before I start planning the meetings with my clients that I’m going to be having. So that’s critical for road warriors who want to maintain an unbusy lifestyle on the road.

Bryan Paul Buckley 21:16
So let me make sure we’ve got this. call the core for four hours, relationships, rest, recreation, reflection, and I love you hammering these because they are part of elite Road Warrior. And so to hear from somebody else is kind of like not having to hear from dad or mom. Do you know what I’m saying? It’s like,

I think I think that hosts foot put him on to say something that I’m supposed to hear from a different person. Now it’s exactly and I think what’s love i love about it too, you do travel, you do have a family. So making sure when you’re taking care of the client or you’re trying to get out of the business vortex. Then you also you’re trying to make sure you’re putting the big pieces in within your schedule, being busy on the road just like everybody else. Imagine that, hence the book.

We’ll be back with the remainder of this interview after the short break.

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So, let’s kind of move into productivity here. I mean, you’ve got where there are a number of really good nuggets, which have not necessarily heard other people talk about the context that you have. And if you have a bill to talk about as a business traveler, so what are some suggestions that help us become unbusy to use your term that we can apply on the road?

Garland Vance 25:54
So I would say one of the first is to make sure that you build transition time into your schedule.

So you are going to go through dozens, if not hundreds of transitions when you’re on the road, you transition from home, to travel to the airport, from travel to the airport to checking into the airport, checking into the airport, waiting for the plane, to getting on the plane, right? All of that, I mean, just in a very short period of time, you’ve experienced multiple transitions. And so you’ve got to build time into your schedule to mentally transition to, to what is next. So I’ll just give you a really easy one for my wife, and I realized that when I come home from traveling, I have a very difficult time transitioning from the intensity of work to the rest at home. And I would a lot of times bring in a lot of stress. And so we just built an intentional transition where she actually picks me up from the airport, and we go on a date, and we just have dinner together and catch up.

And then I go home and I spend time with my kids, but just that little transition, you know, an hour-long transition helped me mentally make the shift. So you got to make sure that you build a lot of transition into and build time for those transitions. So I’d say that’s, that’s one. The second is make sure that your morning routine reflects peace. Most people continue their day, the way that they started their day. And so you want to make sure that your morning routine, when you’re traveling, has some peace built into it, whether that’s meditation, or just slowly waking up from me, before I open my computer, I’m going to make sure that I have a cup of coffee, hopefully, a good cup of coffee that I drink, that I’m going to walk around a little bit, even if it’s just my hotel room, I’m just going to walk around and get my body moving a little bit and I’m going to read something that’s inspirational to me. And once I’ve done that, then I can shift mentally into okay now, what do I need to be productive in. But it’s making sure that that morning routine is really peaceful first, and then I can shift into purpose and productivity.

Bryan Paul Buckley 28:10
And what I loved about in the book just kind of hammer down a little bit on morning routine, the ability of asking questions instead of being so regimented, which is kind of culture right now, you know, we’re 15 minutes of this 10 minutes of this if I and I fall prey to that, because that’s the rest of my day. And sometimes I start that way too early. I did like the grace that you had in your reasoning behind starting the day with peace, things that may be different today that will be different tomorrow, but I’ve got a buffet of options. They’re gonna allow me to choose from where you can have to be a little bit more organic of today, what would bring me the most peace today. So I really, really valued that. So thanks for sharing that. So maybe just for a moment share how we misconceived the calendar and how that kind of rules our life alone a bit more, especially in the context of the road, when we don’t always have specific control that we’re given meetings at this time, and this time and this time, so I guess it correlates a little bit to Garland of why we need peace. First thing in the morning, knowing our days gonna look like and maybe our lack of transition time to get from said meeting to the next meeting, and on and on and on.

Garland Vance 29:20
Yeah, yeah. So I think we tend to make two pretty big flaws with our calendar. The first is, is when we don’t realize that our calendar is only as good as we are disciplined in using the calendar, right. So for example, I have an amazing assistant and I’ve worked with her when I travel to make sure that she schedules margin in between my meetings, and travel time so that I’m not sitting there trying to think okay, I can have, you know, five meetings when really I can only have three meetings because they’re all across town.

Bryan Paul Buckley 30:01
Hurry worry, scurry

Garland Vance 30:02
Exactly. How am I going to be? How am I going to get to this meeting and then all of a sudden, I’m not showing up at my best for that meeting. So our calendar is only as good, as we are disciplined in using our calendar. And the second flaw that we make a lot of times is our calendar is a record of our best guess, at how the day is going to go. But the reality is, especially when we’re traveling, the day rarely goes as planned. And so there has to be just a lot of adjustments to our calendar, lots of margin that we build in there, but a lot of grace that we’re giving to ourselves at the same time to say this was my best guess, but it’s not going to go the way that I expected it to go. And that’s okay. As long as you’re adjusting your calendar and your time to make up for what changed.

Bryan Paul Buckley 30:59
That perfectly leads into the next question, which I really enjoyed. Maybe that was the word enjoys the right word. Maybe it was resonated with the different types of constraints and limits that we have on the road automatically. So what are those two different types? And how can we learn from them to actually have that margin that we’re all looking for on the road?

Garland Vance 31:27
Okay, so there’s actually two types of constraints. The first is what we call a movable constraint. And a movable constraint is something that you have the option on, getting rid of it, delegating it, deleting it, right? There’s all of these constraints that we kind of put on ourselves that we can give away to other people or remove from our lives altogether. So for example, I may not have to travel and so you know, for this year, I’ve put a… I had all of these conferences that were scheduled, and I have chosen to make those movable constraints where I said, I’m not going to travel right now for this period of time.

But then there’s what we would call unmovable constraints. And an unmovable constraint is something that is really hard for you to move. Now, sometimes those are imposed, for example, the flight time that you know, if your flight is leaving at 9:13 in the morning, that is an unmovable imposed constraint for you. You don’t have any say-so on changing that flight time, but then there are chosen unmovable constraints. And that could be something like you choosing that you’re going to take this flight you’re choosing to go on this trip, or a commitment or a project that you’ve taken on, you could get out of it, but you’ve chosen to make it unmovable in your life for the time being. And that’s where you’ve really got to decide what am I going to do with this unmovable chosen constraint that I’ve implemented into my own life, am I going to honor that commitment?

Or am I going to decide to change that to a movable constraint? You know the bottom line is though, we have to acknowledge the reality that there are limitations to what we can and can’t do in our lives. And only when we begin to acknowledge those limitations, can we actually begin to get unbusy.

Bryan Paul Buckley 33:28
And I love that too. Because of the amount of stress that it creates when we don’t accept the limitations, or we just try to push too much in, which is understandable. I’m on the road. I’m in Austin, Texas, and I’ve got these meetings and I’m there to do the meetings and I don’t know why don’t we back to Austin, Texas. So you know, of course, I’m going to do whatever I can to make that happen. And just the added traveling friction, the added stress, the curry worrying scurry, that it creates the lack of peace that creates an understanding that so real quickly, any suggestions when we are in that moment, and we’re recognizing, well, here’s the limitation. I’m watching the plane take off because now it’s 9:15 and not 9:13. So I’m literally buying a plane ticket, which I’ve had. I’m not a fan of connection flights for that very reason. Because then it’s just the Series of Unfortunate Events. And the one time that I have I literally watching my plane take off in those moments though how do we find peace? How do we learn from that of that, oftentimes unmovable in impose restraint, which increased strength that we never chose?

Garland Vance 34:35
Yeah, so the only thing that you can do with an unmovable imposed constraint is accept it as a reality. And so a lot of times what happens we create stress in our lives by trying to fight the very reality that we’re not going to be able to change. If I’m supposed to leave at 9:13 on that flight, it’s 9:15. And I’m seeing it fly away. There’s nothing I can do with that. The only thing I can do is accept it. And then say, okay, what’s my next step? And, sure, I mean, I think for a lot of travelers, the challenge at that point is, you see the domino effect beginning to fall. But what I can do is I can, I can start immediately trying to rearrange my plants, I can immediately get in contact with the person, you know, who’s traveling, or who’s planning the meeting, and say, This is what’s happening, this is what’s going on. And we accept it as reality and then try to take steps forward. When you try to fight the reality of it, though. It’s just gonna cause so much more stress.

Bryan Paul Buckley 35:40
And hopefully, at 9:15 we’re not heading to the bar if it’s aim to handle said stress that’s there. I think you’re right, man, there’s a right way to do and a wrong way to do it. And especially if it starts your Monday morning, and you’re just off to one of those. I mean, I was on a flight where we’re supposed to fly to Dallas and Dallas had all this fog and so delay coming out of Chicago, which we normally have the weather problems in Chicago. And so then they finally get us on the plane and then we’re on the plane for two hours and we can’t get off the plane. And then we… it’s just one of those things and it’s literally you go through you can watch people, their stress levels, how they’re handling it, and learning to go for me honestly, it is shutting my eyes, putting some music and finding that happy place. And it is meditation, just breathe a little bit. Just go You know what, it’s a constraint. And all I can do is I need to calm down first. So I can logically think to move on from that. So great, great suggestions with that, but do not I mean, well, they’re, they’re simple. They’re just not easy to do, especially when you’re in high stressful moments.

Garland Vance 36:46
Yeah, yeah, they’re not easy to do. And, again, I think asking yourself the simple question, is there anything that I can do to change the circumstance? And if the answer to that question is no, then it’s not simple, but kind of taking a step back and be like, Okay, what can I change in this time period? And what I can change is communication, what I can change is the flight that I’m going to take. Those are things that I can’t do anything about the flight that’s already taken off.

Bryan Paul Buckley 37:15
And my recommendation at that moment would be Wow, now I’ve got an hour, two hours that I had not planned on. So instead of just doing email, I’m going to pick up that book by Garland Vance called get UnBusy. So now what am I gonna do with right? Well, as we close anything from the book, that you were the mixture that we know.

Garland Vance 37:39
Yeah, I would say that you know, we haven’t touched on this, but the research about what busyness does to us, physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, what it does for productivity and what it does to entire organizations. That’s in the book under the decide step. And the bottom line is what my doctor said to me, if you don’t kill busyness it is going to kill you.

Bryan Paul Buckley 38:04
And the research is so solid but it wasn’t like dry scientifics I really enjoyed how you pack that together. And I’m sure it’s helping organizations, it’s helping individuals. It is helping me which obviously is now helping elite roadwarrior group so I appreciate you sharing that. So I’m gonna go through real quick. A road lightning round. You ready for this? ready for it? Here we go. Preferred airlines.

Garland Vance 38:29
American Airlines.

Bryan Paul Buckley 38:31
What’s the airline that you’ll avoid? No matter what.

Garland Vance 38:36
Oh, I don’t have one of those yet. hat’s a good question. I haven’t I don’t know on that one.

Bryan Paul Buckley 38:41
That’s okay. You don’t know that answer. That’s okay. Are you a window or an aisle guy?

Garland Vance 38:48
I’m an aisle guy. I need to stretch out my legs.

Bryan Paul Buckley 38:51
You and me both. I’m a frequent urinator on the plane. So which I prefer to be in the right location, hence being on the aisle. That’s it. Preferred hotel chain?

Garland Vance 39:05
I enjoy Marriott. They’re my favorite.

Bryan Paul Buckley 39:08
All right, and the Marriott Hotels if you’ve got a choice of any of their, their menu of hotels, and they’re all in a row, which one would you pick?

Garland Vance 39:17
Gosh, that’s a good question. I’m gonna skip that one. I don’t know. That was a good one. I don’t know.

Bryan Paul Buckley 39:26
Yeah, I’m a courtyard kind of guy most of the time because I enjoy that I enjoy the windows that are right there and I can move up a desk and I’ve got I guess got that lights and enjoy the room right there. So that’s fine, but this is your lightning round, not mine. Come on man. Rental car or rideshare.

Garland Vance 39:45
I’m a rental car guy. I like to have a little bit of control on when I get places.

Bryan Paul Buckley 39:49
You and me both and who’s your preferred vendor for rental cars?

Garland Vance 39:54
Enterprise I got one right by my house and so they just come pick me up, grab my car and go so I’m a big fan of Enterprise.

Bryan Paul Buckley 40:00
That’d be a good marketing little thing will pick you up. Least favorite airport?

Garland Vance 40:09
so far I haven’t done a lot of international travel but so far my least favorite airport is Dallas, the Dallas Fort Worth airport I just don’t understand the kind of weird bubble layout that they picked it’s very confused I get lost every time I go to Dallas

Bryan Paul Buckley 40:25
I’m with you on that there’s a lot of people that I’m that’s their hurry worry and scurry that’s their business for text. three letters deal. favorite city to frequent when traveling?

Garland Vance 40:37
Yeah, so I would say San Francisco at this point. I haven’t been to it as much as I would like but it’s one more I’m like man, I’d like to go back more and more there.

Bryan Paul Buckley 40:47
And last one biggest at road pet peeve.

Garland Vance 40:52
Bad coffee in the hotel room. Like if you don’t have good tasting coffee, then your hotel should be out of business.

Bryan Paul Buckley 41:02
Didn’t see that one coming at all with your reference to coffee early in the morning on that. So well, thanks for entertaining lightning round.

Garland Vance 41:10
Garland How can we find out more about you? Yeah, so, go to Advanceleadership.live My last name is Vance, so advanceleadership.live or you can go to gettinunbusybook.com. And you can actually take a busyness assessment for free. That’s there and get six free chapters of the book.

Bryan Paul Buckley 41:34
I was gonna take the assessment, but I was too busy. So I decided to.. just kidding on that. And so yeah, you have so much that’s there. Some of the book is a great place to start. So any listeners that are here, I’m gonna make sure that the links to everything that has been referenced here will be inside there. So Garland first and foremost, thank you for your time. Thanks for taking your content, putting the context obviously you are when you are on the road out an elite road warrior and to helping us to gettin’ unbusy.

Garland Vance 42:05
Yeah, my pleasure. Thanks, Bryan. Glad to be with you.

Bryan Paul Buckley 42:09
I like to thank Garland Vance for his time and his challenges and his insights for us to become elite road warriors who are getting unbusy.

You can find the transcript and everything referenced in this interview in the show notes at eliteroadwarrior.com/086. You’ll also find the seven early warning signs for companies to avoid business travel burnout, as well as a top 10 business travel hacks guide. Of course at no additional charge. As always, I’d love to hear from you. So you can connect with me on my primary social media sources, LinkedIn at Bryan Paul Buckley and Instagram at elite road warrior so wherever you are on the road, do something, do anything, just not nothing to begin to master the business travel life. Leverage getting unbusy to help you become and remain an elite Road Warrior today who eliminates burnout and exceeds results. You got this!

Love me some Gettin’ Unbusy!

References

Gettin’ (un)Busy book

Garland Vance LinkedIn

7 Early Warning Signs for Companies to Avoid Business Travel Burnout

Here’s the link for the Top Ten Business Travel Hacks Guide

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side Of Business Travel

I’m going to go dark in this article so I’m warning you upfront – reader beware!

No harsh-rated language but going to hit on some very personal topics we’ve never really done a deep dive in especially for this topic so I wanted to be very clear where we’re headed.

The reason I want to cover this dark topic is that it’s so real and nobody really talks about it especially in the context of business travel. But we are right now.

I met Charles about a decade ago when my business travel days were really intensifying and I was going at an unsustainable pace.

Let me paint a picture of exactly where we were for this unexpected heart-to-heart conversation. Charles and I were sitting at a bar at a high-end restaurant attached to this incredible hotel. We were eating a steak dinner and watching the game.

Like most conversations, you jostle for conversational position until you find common ground and everything gets easier from that point on (and that’s exactly happened between the two of us).

The conversation moved from sports to work to where we lived and we hit it off. It wasn’t forced conversation and we had a lot in common which is rare for two guys especially on the road.

We also were drinking. A lot and for hours. You know, the kind of place where you open up more due to the secret sauce. And that’s exactly what it became for Charles.

Secret sauce meaning he shared secrets that were dark.

Now, when I say dark I don’t mean evil or criminal, at least in his case, I mean, nobody else knew and you can tell he was relieved to get these secrets out.

So, do you wanna know Charles’ secrets? We’ll get to that soon enough but I wanted to set the stage for where we’re headed.

I meet far more Charles’s through the decades of travel than you could possibly imagine.

I’ve learned the reason many open up to me is for the following reasons:

  1. I ask questions
  2. I listen to their answers
  3. I’m honest
  4. I try not to rush them
  5. I don’t judge
  6. I try to give hope

That’s it – simple but not easy communication and emotional intelligence skills.

As a result, I’ve found a common theme within these conversations through the years about the dark side of business travel.

Now, this is important: not a single road warrior I’ve met had any intention of ever going to the dark side of business travel. In fact, many will admit early on, they judged big time “the sins of the sinner” if you will when hearing of others bad road choices.

They told me they swore to themselves they would “never go there”…

But eventually, they became “that guy” or “that girl” which is the way it almost always works.

And I’m not here to judge because I’ve personally experienced the dark side of business travel.

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Did you catch that last line?

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Every person’s situation is different on the road. Some travel in teams, others travel to a location, and are with reps almost the entire trip. Then there are those who are solo artists, completely by themselves except during their meetings, presentations, etc.

As a result, the dark side can appear differently in different situations and choices.

These choices create the opportunity for a downward spiral, meaning that once you start, it’s easy to get sucked into the spiral and keep going down and down which can tend to get darker and darker.

My hope in discussing this is that by being willing to talk about some tough subjects, we can identify potential choices we’re making right now and can make some changes before it’s too late and there are serious consequences.

So, let’s discuss the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

Let’s go back to Charles’ story. He was a sharp, good looking, athletic, and influential VP who had everything you could want: huge home, fancy cars, gorgeous wife, cute kids, and you can continue the ongoing list of wants…

Including secrets.

The more Charles talked and knew I was listening, understood, and actually cared, the more he shared.

And the reality is nobody would ever guess he would be dealing with these secrets.

It was like I become his priest that night at the hotel bar. So much pain, so much guilt and regret he was carrying inside of him on every single business trip like a half-ton carry-on suitcase.

What I learned from Charles now that I reflect years later and meeting so many other Charles’s and even Cheryls, is a common theme, thread if you will, from where they started to where they are right now.

Each of these downward spiral choices can stand alone but many are tied together in some way which you’ll see.

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side of Business Travel

ONE – The Choice to Become the Road Grinch

This is for the seasoned road warrior and time on the road just takes your heart three sizes down like the original grinch.

It starts for those of us who look up at the flight board or wake up in the morning in a hotel and forget what city you’re going to or in at the moment.

All the food begins to taste the same.

You just go through the motions and everything begins to annoy you.

You’ve met this guy. I seem to find him often at the airport when I’m ready to board or at the airport or hotel bar.

Everything is negative. Every aspect of the road:

  • Airport / Airline / Flight
  • Rental car or Rideshare
  • Hotel
  • The food
  • Customers

There are two specific characteristics of the Road Grinch:

  • You Become Callous

You’ve lost all capacity to care. You have little to no understanding or compassion for anything or anyone.

People are no longer human to you, only annoyances.

And research shows, dehumanizing people is a sign of business travel burnout. You’ll know this is you when you start to become numb and your feelings are a thing of the past.

  • You Become Cynical

You’re cynical of other people and seemingly all people who don’t share your view of business travel.

You’re cynical of the world. Nothing is good. Nothing is right.

Warning! It’s easy to get sucked into Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha. This is true for me especially when I’m frustrated, tired, or hungry. And I’m easy prey for Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha if I’m all three!

Here’s the Caution: you become poison for all those around you and you don’t even know it and/or don’t even care. All the more proof you’re now the callous and cynical Road Grinch! You’re also more likely to continue the downward spiral because you just don’t care anymore.

TWO – The Choice to Experiment

This choice can be a hazard, especially for a new business traveler.

It’s amazing the opportunities to try about anything on the road depending on what city you’re in, who you’re with, and if you’re looking for a stress release.

It’s like we’re back in high school easily giving in to peer pressure or we’re invincible once again. Remember those days of old?

But now, after all, we are Road WARRIORS, right?!

This one is a challenge because the company card can definitely become an encourager or an enabler. After all, it’s not YOUR money! Or someone offers to treat you. Can’t offend them now.

  • You’re with co-workers or a client who smokes and you try it or pick smoking back up when you gave it up years ago
  • You’re in Vegas for work and you try gambling
  • You try this beer, then this type of wine, then this liquor

Warning! This is where you easily become “that guy” or “that girl” who got drunk at the corporate event or customer dinner. Or pushed it too far and now you become the story you regret and can never seem to live down. I’ve seen too many a rookie road warrior learn the hard way when choosing to experiment.

Here’s the Caution: Experimenting in and of itself isn’t wrong. It’s good to try new things depending on what the new things are of course and the potential consequences. Just realize where this could lead.

THREE – The Choice to Develop Bad Habits

Now we’re taking the opportunity to experiment and making it darker.

What used to be a simple experiment has now become part of your road routine:

  • The occasional DRINK becomes I gotta have my drink
  • The occasional SMOKE becomes I’m now taking regular smoke breaks every day, multiple times a day
  • The occasional GAMBLE just because it was in front of me now becomes gambling on anything and everything
  • The occasional curiosity with PORN becomes your new road thing every night before bed

I’ve found that many a road warrior who is a closet drinker, smoker, gambler, and porn viewer has a much bigger problem on their hands and they’re officially deep into the dark side of business travel.

The challenge is we don’t personally see when our experiment becomes our vice. Others do but we don’t. And if they have the courage to bring it up, what’s the proof that it’s an issue and habit? We get defensive and downplay our bad habits.

Warning! Bad habits are enabled on the road due to the availability, temptation, and seclusion.

Caution: Learning to ask if our habits are bringing us energy or simply a stress release. This is a hard question and requires honesty on our motives but separates existing road warriors from elite road warriors.

FOUR – The Choice to Feed Addictions

The downward spiral continues from the experiment (or just picking up again what you tried or did years ago) to a road habit to a full-blown addiction.

You’ve fed this tiny little experimental puppy and now it’s a trained killer dog who will defend himself to the death and do anything to get what he wants.

  • I HAVE to find cigarettes.
  • I GOTTA have a drink and now.
  • I’m VIEWING porn all the time.

And the road is a perfect place for two things:

  • Developing and feeding that addiction
  • Hiding that addiction

I’m not an addiction specialist by any means, but I notice others are walking a fine line between a bad habit that is close to or full-on addiction.

It alters their entire business trip. They “have to have it” and need to “stop now to get it” no matter how it affects you or your business results.

I have literally witnessed guys viewing porn on their phones at the airport gate.

I’ve cleaned up messes from others whose addiction reared its ugly head on business trips.

Of course, they have absolutely no clue how much control this “said addiction” has on them and their full-time job has become the role of a defense attorney.

Not a fan of newly-developed Denny Defense.

Warning! This is a scary place to be and often, a road warrior never wants or can leave the road because the road enables their addiction although they rarely admit it.

Here’s the Caution: Steer clear of the addict on the road unless it’s you and then get help before it has serious consequences for you.

FIVE – The Choice to Make Bad Moral Decisions

This one can be subjective depending upon your values. I hear often how road warriors will justify their moral decisions. Basically put, their convincing themselves what they want and are planning to do is okay so they can move forward with their actions.

I hear all too often from many a road warrior, “I only do this (insert dark side behavior) on the road.” And that somehow makes it right?!

Again, I’m not the judge but you can often and quickly tell when someone is telling this story if they’re trying to convince you while they’re still trying to convince themselves.

The biggest dark side of business travel moral decision I hear is:

  • Cheating on a spouse or significant other

This could be with a co-worker, road mistress, one-night stand.

This may be a one-time action or the start of a relationship.

  • This could be strip clubs when it’s against your morals or would dishonor a spouse or significant other
  • This could be massage parlors (full body if you know what I mean)
  • This could be prostitutes
  • Risky behavior that can have serious relational and even criminal consequences

But it doesn’t stop just there. Another choice could be driving under the influence. We would seemingly never do it at home but on the road, we seem to justify this decision.

And I get it, in the past, I’ve put myself in that same foolish decision before assuming I could do a risk analysis after two double vodka tonics and a bottle of wine.

The point here is not the debate of what is a moral decision or not, although I personally believe if you’re a Christian and follower of Christ, those answers are crystal clear. The point is we all have a moral compass that can get tested and we know if we should cross it or if we’re coming close to crossing it.

Again, they’re easy to justify at the moment:

  • I was okay to drive and nothing happened.
  • I didn’t touch.
  • It was only a kiss.
  • Clothes were still on.
  • We didn’t go ALL the way.
  • It was a one-night stand and it will never happen again.
  • My wife would be fine with it (although she doesn’t exactly know)

Let’s circle back to Charles’ story… he became so successful, so empowered, and so isolated, nobody dared question him or his expense reports. He knew how to play the game and justify anything. “It was for the customer, the client really wanted to try this or do this…” (of course it was almost always Charles’ idea).

Charles started his downward spiral with experimenting, which led to habits, which led to addiction, which led to bad moral decisions. He became callous, cynical, and eventually reckless yet you would never know it on the outside.

Charles had all five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

But here’s the irony: what you saw on the outside was only half of the story. Charles was also on his 2nd marriage, unhappy, and addicted to porn. He was estranged from his kids and had so many regrets.

He claimed he was up working late but couldn’t stop scrolling porn sites which led to other risky behavior such as massages and prostitutes.

But all we saw on the outside if Charles was the essence of success. Or so we thought…

Warning! The power of freedom and the power of choice on the road is a fast track to the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and Charles is living proof.

We all want to become like him in his success but no clue of the cost of his success and his hidden dark side of failures.

Here’s the Caution: Bad moral decisions are absolutely devastating to the road warrior. There is increased opportunity for regret due to isolation as a road warrior and we must understand the environment of the road.

Let me leave you with one question and one word:

One Word: Integrity

Our integrity matters no matter where we are but especially on the road.

The road has so many great opportunities and gifts but with the good lies the opportunity for bad and we need to be aware of the downward spirals that can lead us into the dark side of business travel and this is when your integrity matters the most.

One Question: Someone may never know of your choices but what does a secret do to our heart/soul?

It absolutely haunted Charles and I will never forget that night as he poured out his heart and soul with the secrets of his lack of integrity.

It is possible to live a life of integrity on the road and I challenge you to do it.

  • Know when you’re becoming a Road Grinch who is callous and cynical.
  • Know when an experiment should end.
  • Know when you’re developing bad habits.
  • Know when your bad habit owns you and you’re addicted.
  • Know when you’re facing a bad moral decision.

And choose integrity on the road. Protect your heart and soul to become an elite road warrior.

This was challenging due to the darkness the road can create in the life of a road warrior. My hope is the content was both enlightening and challenging. This just may be one of those articles you remember when you’re in the midst of one of the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and you respond in a positive way in that moment.

The three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior Group come into play once again:

  • Work – we leverage business travel for these downward spiral choices
  • Health – we could compromise our own health for these downward spiral choices
  • Home Life – we could damage and devastate those we love back home with these downward spiral choices whether they ever find out or not

Action Items:

  1. Be honest with yourself and own up to your dark side
  2. Find someone to tell (close friend/counselor)
  3. Know Thyself – put boundaries in place on the road and have someone hold you accountable.

I don’t want to leave you hanging, so tune into my next podcast, where I will be interviewing with psychologist Dr. Nick Howard. Make sure you catch that episode to hear from a professional and subject matter expert on what to do if you’re heading into or already in the dark side of business travel.

You Got This!

How One Creative Idea Connected Me With My Kids Back Home

You may have heard a little bit about my story and my family. The Buckley Kiddos (there are 5 of them) never chose to have their father as a business traveler, but it’s the hand they’ve been dealt with at least right now.

Early on, I didn’t put much thought into my contact with my family when I was on the road. Compared to everyone else, some business trips I did better than other trips and justified my contact because it was more than the average business traveler.

But when did I ever care about comparing myself to THAT GUY?! I came to a point where I felt the lack of engagement with my family especially with my kids because I was traveling so much.

I was uncovering my “WHY” I wanted to connect more back home.

The WHY gets me to do things when I don’t always feel like it, especially when I’ve had a busy and long day on the road.

I created the Flat Kiddos Concept. It’s a way for me to connect with my kids when I’m not at home. Take a look at them at the Elite Road Warrior website here.

 

One of my biggest challenges as a father on the road is staying connected with my kids in very intentional, thoughtful, and creative ways in general let alone on a consistent basis. I would take pictures of my locations, but it was more about “Dad’s cool hotel or rental car” and how they weren’t a part of my trip.

But then I asked myself, “what if I could theoretically take my kids with me in a creative way? You can now with Flat Kiddos. These are 9×6 inch characters that are on thick poster board for durability.
I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and now they can’t wait to see their picture on my next trip. This gives the opportunity for the Flat Kiddos to be seen in Dad’s World and how the kids are now involved.

Why I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

The “why” is critically important and far more important than the “how”.

For far too long on the road, I was what I called a Check-In Guy. This guy “checked in” when it was convenient for me only.

I had a gift of calling at all the wrong times:

  • Dinner time
  • Bedtime
  • Kids at practice

I sent the occasional check-in update text.

I did FaceTime but was usually distracted. Sadly, one of my kids would call me out and say “Dad, you’re not paying attention.” Pathetic. I have just a few minutes to really connect with my family and I’m on email?

After a “come to Jesus” moment with my wife on how disconnected I was at home while on the road, I started looking for ways to leverage the road and what it can do for me instead of making excuses of the limits of the road and what I can’t do.

Remember, if you want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

When I first started out I took pictures of the locations in my trip thinking my kids would want to see where Dad literally was in the world or my awesome meal or upgraded rental car.

At best I would get a COOL or LUCKY YOU response.

Often it was silence. Painful non-response.

Deserved.

I had that coming.

It came across in two ways:

  1. Dad’s bragging
  2. We’re not with him

But that wasn’t my motive and definitely not my heart.

I had an industry connection I had interviewed on another podcast called “The Energy Edge” Podcast, and listening to David Vasquez, had this little character called Peg Daddy that he traveled with and it hit me.

I revisited this concept with David Vasquez on episode 046 of the Elite Road Warrior.

But after that initial interview and the Flat Stanley story, I thought, what if I created Flat Stanley of my age-appropriate kids that traveled with me on the road?

For those of you who’ve not heard of the Flat Stanley story or concept, let me give you the 411:

Back Story – Stanley gets squashed flat by a falling bulletin board. Stanley’s parents rolled him up, put him in an envelope, and mailed him to his friend in California. We did the Flat Stanley project for my cousin’s kids from SoCal having Flat Stanley visit Chicago. Our kids loved it.

I had to figure this thing out.

Now, I had my WHY of wanting to connect and not just check in with my kids and I had this idea of doing something with Flat Stanley. Now what?

How I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

I needed to begin to look through the eyes of my kids and what would be relatable to them in my road world.

I have five kids but not all are age-appropriate for Flat Kiddos.

For example, my high school sons prefer postcards from every location and it allows me to speak an encouraging word that I know they’ll read in this form.

Currently, I have two elementary-age kids and one four-year-old.

My 3rd and 5th graders are perfect for this age and my little guy is now ready for his Flat Kiddo too.

How Do You Make Your Flat Kiddos?

I’m often asked, how did you actually make the Flat Kiddos?

My two were basically an art project:

  • I went online and printed out a boy and girl Flat Stanley character
  • I cut out the characters
  • My wife glued them to strong poster-board
  • I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddos

It was simple but took some time and energy.

The favorite part was having my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and therein was the Buy-In.

Now, there are many road warriors who either aren’t creative or resourceful or just simply don’t have the time or won’t do it. Just recently I had a business traveler tell me: “Love the idea but this will never happen if it relies on me but I would buy them immediately. I can definitely tell my kids to color these for me.” You can buy them here.

So, you make or purchase your flat kiddo, you have your kids color them. Now what?

Here are Six Ideas for my Flat Kiddos

Airport

  • At the Gate or in the Terminal (up on the window with the plane in sight / checking the departure board/massage chairs)
  • On the Plane (in the seat / looking out the window)
  • With the Pilot or Flight Attendant

Hotel

  • Working at the desk
  • Watching TV
  • In the bathtub
  • On the toilet
  • On the bed
  • In the kitchen (since I stay at a lot of hotels with kitchens so I can prepare as many meals as possible)
  • Fitness Center – working out with the dumbbells/on the treadmill/bike
  • Pool catching some sun

Rental Car or RideShare

I’m in a rental car often because I fly into one city (for example, SD then drive to OC then to LA and fly out there or Tampa to Orlando to Fort Lauderdale) – I get some great upgrades and my kids love to see their Flat Kiddos in the driver seat

  • The driver seat of a cool rental car
  • Back seat watching an iPad
  • In the trunk!
  • Sitting next to me in an Uber or Lyft

Restaurant

I have my Flat Kiddos in my work bag so it’s easy to pull them out in a restaurant setting

  • Ordering food
  • A plate in front of them

Sight Seeing

  • The Alamo
  • Space Needle
  • Sunsets on the coast
  • In the mountains

The possibilities are endless – the key is just leveraging the city you’re in AND taking a few minutes for downtime – remember the definition? Time to Be, NOT to Be On and this is a great cause to take a little downtime.

People You Meet

People are often more than willing to join in a picture for such a cause – you just have to be willing and courageous to simply ask.

  • I mentioned Pilots earlier
  • Hotel front desk
  • Co-workers
  • When I speak, sometimes I’ll ask some people in the group to take a picture with my Flat Kiddos. I did that a few weeks ago speaking to 16 CEOs and these guys loved it!
  • One of my mentors from afar who I met, Michael

Get creative and ask for your kids

This is Possible Road Warriors…

Let me tell you about a quick story.

I met Barry in an airport before a flight when I was taking pictures of my Flat Kiddos in a couple of places near the gate. He asked what I was going but in a curious tone. So, I let him know WHY I do this and my desire to be a Connect-In Guy, not a Check-in Guy anymore on the road.

Barry paused then said, “If I were honest, I’m a Check-in Guy and this is a great idea that I can do to become a Connect-In Guy. Thanks for being an example and for giving me this inspiration.”

The key to being an elite road warrior is leveraging the road and what it CAN give to you if you let it.

I wouldn’t do Flat Kiddos at home obviously because I’m with my kids. But I can take a few minutes here and there to have them enter my Road Life through their Flat Kiddos.

You Got This!