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How an Unexpected Surgery Has Exposed Struggles in my Life

This article will be unusual for a few reasons:
1. It discusses my off-road life
2. It’s personal
3. It’s something I’ve never experienced and challenges the six energy habits

I’m known as a very healthy guy and work hard to keep this elite status both on the road and at home.
Then 2020 hit. If Covid-19 wasn’t disruptive enough in every area of life, 2020 was brutal on the health side in the Buck Fam.

In May, my 9-year old was severely burned and it was one of the scariest moments of my life as I wondered if my son would have skin damage for the remainder of his life. He’s come a long way amidst this scare and time will tell on the long-term scarring.

Then I had a colonoscopy and a scope done due to unknown stomach issues. Another rough health stretch that required going in-and-out of the hospital.

Over the summer, I severely bruised my rib and pulled some muscles playing with the kids that required X-rays and an MRI and dramatically affected my summer.  #RoughHealthStretch

Until….
I had the mother of all falls. And due to the severely bruised rib and pulled muscles, I instantly protected my ribs at the cost of my shoulder. For weeks, I just pushed through it and it kept getting worse. Then… my 4-year old flew through the air with the greatest of ease from a retaining wall and absolutely finished the job on my left shoulder.

The next day something pops and a few days later, I’m getting an MRI. If the technician’s face had words, it was “you have no idea what you’re in for buddy.” 24 hours later I’m seeing a specialist at Northwestern Medicine in the Chicago land area who told me I had multiple tears in my rotator cuff. Within 36 hours, I meet with the surgeon, and my surgery was made for the next possible surgery slot.

Now, if you’ve ever had “one of those surgeries” everyone has a story for, you know what I’m talking about and this is definitely in that category. At this point, I listen, smile, or read the text, and just say thank you.

Surgery happened a few days ago,

Exposed Struggle #1 – I’m getting little to no movement

Movement creates energy.

First taken away was my ability to lift any weights after the initial injury which was an immediate red flag that something was wrong. After the 2nd blow, I lost the ability to do any cardio due to the pounding on the shoulder.

This has left me to standing and walking which as you know, “something, anything is better than nothing.”

But I’m feeling the loss of Run More and Lift More in Energy Habit One: MOVE.

Post-surgery, I’m having to spend a ton of time icing so my stand time has decreased as well.

Physical therapy starts soon and it will be three months of intensity – bring it on.

I know this will be the longest of my exposed struggles due to the nature of the injury but each day feels like a month at this point.

Word to Myself: Walk Away – I need to increase my walk time every chance I get every single day and no matter what the weather

Exposed Struggle #2 – I’m unstructured and unproductive

I was able to get work done pre-surgery up until the back-to-back tests and doctor appointments but I had no idea how much I would be scattered and unmotivated post-surgery.

My pain has been higher than planned and for the first time I’m balancing lack of meds and pain with clarity or more meds, less pain, and cloudy. #NotAFan

I don’t have my normal morning routines because my nights are absolutely brutal. Even though I took off work and I’m playing it day-by-day, each day just feels like a meandering of nothing really getting done.

And for someone who is a high achiever and loves seeing results, there is more pain than just my shoulder shooting pains!

I get it. I’m days after a surgery that majorly affects my day-to-day life. But I’m already done with feeling like I’m wasting hours and now, days.

Word to Myself: Get a Plan – I need to start with my morning routine to begin my day with structure and then choose one major thing I can accomplish every single day.

 

Exposed Struggle #3 – I’m a night owl again

By nature, I come alive in the evening especially if I stay up past 10:00 pm. Something in my body ignites and I’m ready to go another round or two.

I used to stay up late all the time. I can blame the NBA and MLB playoffs which usually are my fall mistress but it’s far more than just some games that I don’t have a dog in the fight. My family goes to bed and I’m clocking hour after hour of awake time which I used to be “that guy.”

Word to Myself: Sleep with your wife! I need to go to bed with my wife no matter what even if it takes me forever to crash. I need to put a “kibosh” on this loose bedtime which is never good.

 

Exposed Struggle #4 – I’m lazy on my eating

My meds have affected my appetite so I’m all over the place of what and when I’m eating.

Then you add the exposed struggle of becoming a night owl again. And what did I do when I stayed up late before? Trashed a perfectly good eating day in a matter of moments with the late-night cravings.

I cannot depend on those around me to make good choices for me. Unfortunately, when I’m not working out, I’m lazier on my diet but I cannot let this one go especially with being down for three months of intense physical therapy.

I know better and need to get a new hot streak going in the right direction eating healthier.

Word to Myself: MTHC (Make the Healthiest Choice) – I need to continually hydrate more along with eat cleaner and greener

 

Exposed Struggle #5 – I’m not sleeping

Between us girls, the roughest part of my post-surgery recovery has been sleeping (or the lack thereof). I’m like a pet taking multiple short naps through the night. And it’s absolutely killing me. It affects my early morning routine which I mentioned, and then it affects my structure and productivity, already mentioned.

I have this gadget called the “ultra sling” which keeps my arm in a certain position for my rotator cuff to heal after multiple tears that had to be re-attached. I get it and understand it but I struggle so much during the night time.

It was recommended to sleep in a recliner but again, that’s the nap spot and I’m just not comfortable there all night every night. I prefer my bed.

And as a result, I may be in my own bed, then the recliner, then the guest bed all in one night and it’s killing me, smalls!

Word to Myself: Don’t make it worse – I need to make the best of the rest I get knowing it will eventually get better

Exposed Struggle #6 – I’m drinking at home like I’m entertaining on the road

This one has been already in the works with Covid and all of the changes that have challenged my family and especially me the past six months.

But I’ve succumbed to drinking to make me feel better and this is a slippery slope at best. I’m not in a good place and drinking all the time like I’m entertaining on the road is not the answer.

I’m drinking less amounts but the frequency needs to be addressed.

I’m not a good example in this area for my kids and this needs to matter to me more especially right now since everyone is home all of the time.

Word to Myself: Lay off the Sauce – I need to “be dried out” during the week. No excuses.

These side exposed struggles have exposed three primary emotions I’m experiencing on a consistent basis:

  • Frustration – I can’t move as I’ve always done. I literally cannot move my arm and it’s paralyzing and frustrating to need so much help and struggle on so many simple tasks like taking a shower, getting dressed, really anything that requires two hands
  •  Anxiety – I’ve never had a limb so damaged and affect my life and it’s created this rare emotion in me. I’m anxious around people. I feel trapped in the sling especially at night and it’s revealed a level of anxiousness that is concerning to me.
  • Depression – I’ve not been one to stay discouraged or depressed for long but all of the financial and health blows my family and I have suffered this year have put me in a place where I’m fighting this demon. It’s also feeding some of these struggles such as not eating well, not wanting to go for a walk, not caring if I’m structured or productive, and definitely drinking too often.

I need to be honest, I hate admitting these struggles but I want to be real to you in the good and the bad. This unexpected injury and now surgery exposed these struggles and deep emotions that are overwhelming but part of my journey right now especially being off the road.

I hope you found my vulnerability sincere and refreshing. As my brother has taught me for decades, “this too shall pass.” I’ve been through worse and will choose to grow through it not just go through it.

I’m blessed to have close friends and a counselor to process these struggles and emotions which is absolutely critical right now in my life. I want to help you become and remain an Elite Road Warriar today to eliminate burnout and exceed results.

You Got This!

References

10 Business Travel Hacks Guide

7 Early Warning Signs for Companies to Avoid Business Travel Burnout

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side Of Business Travel

I’m going to go dark in this article so I’m warning you upfront – reader beware!

No harsh-rated language but going to hit on some very personal topics we’ve never really done a deep dive in especially for this topic so I wanted to be very clear where we’re headed.

The reason I want to cover this dark topic is that it’s so real and nobody really talks about it especially in the context of business travel. But we are right now.

I met Charles about a decade ago when my business travel days were really intensifying and I was going at an unsustainable pace.

Let me paint a picture of exactly where we were for this unexpected heart-to-heart conversation. Charles and I were sitting at a bar at a high-end restaurant attached to this incredible hotel. We were eating a steak dinner and watching the game.

Like most conversations, you jostle for conversational position until you find common ground and everything gets easier from that point on (and that’s exactly happened between the two of us).

The conversation moved from sports to work to where we lived and we hit it off. It wasn’t forced conversation and we had a lot in common which is rare for two guys especially on the road.

We also were drinking. A lot and for hours. You know, the kind of place where you open up more due to the secret sauce. And that’s exactly what it became for Charles.

Secret sauce meaning he shared secrets that were dark.

Now, when I say dark I don’t mean evil or criminal, at least in his case, I mean, nobody else knew and you can tell he was relieved to get these secrets out.

So, do you wanna know Charles’ secrets? We’ll get to that soon enough but I wanted to set the stage for where we’re headed.

I meet far more Charles’s through the decades of travel than you could possibly imagine.

I’ve learned the reason many open up to me is for the following reasons:

  1. I ask questions
  2. I listen to their answers
  3. I’m honest
  4. I try not to rush them
  5. I don’t judge
  6. I try to give hope

That’s it – simple but not easy communication and emotional intelligence skills.

As a result, I’ve found a common theme within these conversations through the years about the dark side of business travel.

Now, this is important: not a single road warrior I’ve met had any intention of ever going to the dark side of business travel. In fact, many will admit early on, they judged big time “the sins of the sinner” if you will when hearing of others bad road choices.

They told me they swore to themselves they would “never go there”…

But eventually, they became “that guy” or “that girl” which is the way it almost always works.

And I’m not here to judge because I’ve personally experienced the dark side of business travel.

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Did you catch that last line?

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Every person’s situation is different on the road. Some travel in teams, others travel to a location, and are with reps almost the entire trip. Then there are those who are solo artists, completely by themselves except during their meetings, presentations, etc.

As a result, the dark side can appear differently in different situations and choices.

These choices create the opportunity for a downward spiral, meaning that once you start, it’s easy to get sucked into the spiral and keep going down and down which can tend to get darker and darker.

My hope in discussing this is that by being willing to talk about some tough subjects, we can identify potential choices we’re making right now and can make some changes before it’s too late and there are serious consequences.

So, let’s discuss the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

Let’s go back to Charles’ story. He was a sharp, good looking, athletic, and influential VP who had everything you could want: huge home, fancy cars, gorgeous wife, cute kids, and you can continue the ongoing list of wants…

Including secrets.

The more Charles talked and knew I was listening, understood, and actually cared, the more he shared.

And the reality is nobody would ever guess he would be dealing with these secrets.

It was like I become his priest that night at the hotel bar. So much pain, so much guilt and regret he was carrying inside of him on every single business trip like a half-ton carry-on suitcase.

What I learned from Charles now that I reflect years later and meeting so many other Charles’s and even Cheryls, is a common theme, thread if you will, from where they started to where they are right now.

Each of these downward spiral choices can stand alone but many are tied together in some way which you’ll see.

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side of Business Travel

ONE – The Choice to Become the Road Grinch

This is for the seasoned road warrior and time on the road just takes your heart three sizes down like the original grinch.

It starts for those of us who look up at the flight board or wake up in the morning in a hotel and forget what city you’re going to or in at the moment.

All the food begins to taste the same.

You just go through the motions and everything begins to annoy you.

You’ve met this guy. I seem to find him often at the airport when I’m ready to board or at the airport or hotel bar.

Everything is negative. Every aspect of the road:

  • Airport / Airline / Flight
  • Rental car or Rideshare
  • Hotel
  • The food
  • Customers

There are two specific characteristics of the Road Grinch:

  • You Become Callous

You’ve lost all capacity to care. You have little to no understanding or compassion for anything or anyone.

People are no longer human to you, only annoyances.

And research shows, dehumanizing people is a sign of business travel burnout. You’ll know this is you when you start to become numb and your feelings are a thing of the past.

  • You Become Cynical

You’re cynical of other people and seemingly all people who don’t share your view of business travel.

You’re cynical of the world. Nothing is good. Nothing is right.

Warning! It’s easy to get sucked into Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha. This is true for me especially when I’m frustrated, tired, or hungry. And I’m easy prey for Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha if I’m all three!

Here’s the Caution: you become poison for all those around you and you don’t even know it and/or don’t even care. All the more proof you’re now the callous and cynical Road Grinch! You’re also more likely to continue the downward spiral because you just don’t care anymore.

TWO – The Choice to Experiment

This choice can be a hazard, especially for a new business traveler.

It’s amazing the opportunities to try about anything on the road depending on what city you’re in, who you’re with, and if you’re looking for a stress release.

It’s like we’re back in high school easily giving in to peer pressure or we’re invincible once again. Remember those days of old?

But now, after all, we are Road WARRIORS, right?!

This one is a challenge because the company card can definitely become an encourager or an enabler. After all, it’s not YOUR money! Or someone offers to treat you. Can’t offend them now.

  • You’re with co-workers or a client who smokes and you try it or pick smoking back up when you gave it up years ago
  • You’re in Vegas for work and you try gambling
  • You try this beer, then this type of wine, then this liquor

Warning! This is where you easily become “that guy” or “that girl” who got drunk at the corporate event or customer dinner. Or pushed it too far and now you become the story you regret and can never seem to live down. I’ve seen too many a rookie road warrior learn the hard way when choosing to experiment.

Here’s the Caution: Experimenting in and of itself isn’t wrong. It’s good to try new things depending on what the new things are of course and the potential consequences. Just realize where this could lead.

THREE – The Choice to Develop Bad Habits

Now we’re taking the opportunity to experiment and making it darker.

What used to be a simple experiment has now become part of your road routine:

  • The occasional DRINK becomes I gotta have my drink
  • The occasional SMOKE becomes I’m now taking regular smoke breaks every day, multiple times a day
  • The occasional GAMBLE just because it was in front of me now becomes gambling on anything and everything
  • The occasional curiosity with PORN becomes your new road thing every night before bed

I’ve found that many a road warrior who is a closet drinker, smoker, gambler, and porn viewer has a much bigger problem on their hands and they’re officially deep into the dark side of business travel.

The challenge is we don’t personally see when our experiment becomes our vice. Others do but we don’t. And if they have the courage to bring it up, what’s the proof that it’s an issue and habit? We get defensive and downplay our bad habits.

Warning! Bad habits are enabled on the road due to the availability, temptation, and seclusion.

Caution: Learning to ask if our habits are bringing us energy or simply a stress release. This is a hard question and requires honesty on our motives but separates existing road warriors from elite road warriors.

FOUR – The Choice to Feed Addictions

The downward spiral continues from the experiment (or just picking up again what you tried or did years ago) to a road habit to a full-blown addiction.

You’ve fed this tiny little experimental puppy and now it’s a trained killer dog who will defend himself to the death and do anything to get what he wants.

  • I HAVE to find cigarettes.
  • I GOTTA have a drink and now.
  • I’m VIEWING porn all the time.

And the road is a perfect place for two things:

  • Developing and feeding that addiction
  • Hiding that addiction

I’m not an addiction specialist by any means, but I notice others are walking a fine line between a bad habit that is close to or full-on addiction.

It alters their entire business trip. They “have to have it” and need to “stop now to get it” no matter how it affects you or your business results.

I have literally witnessed guys viewing porn on their phones at the airport gate.

I’ve cleaned up messes from others whose addiction reared its ugly head on business trips.

Of course, they have absolutely no clue how much control this “said addiction” has on them and their full-time job has become the role of a defense attorney.

Not a fan of newly-developed Denny Defense.

Warning! This is a scary place to be and often, a road warrior never wants or can leave the road because the road enables their addiction although they rarely admit it.

Here’s the Caution: Steer clear of the addict on the road unless it’s you and then get help before it has serious consequences for you.

FIVE – The Choice to Make Bad Moral Decisions

This one can be subjective depending upon your values. I hear often how road warriors will justify their moral decisions. Basically put, their convincing themselves what they want and are planning to do is okay so they can move forward with their actions.

I hear all too often from many a road warrior, “I only do this (insert dark side behavior) on the road.” And that somehow makes it right?!

Again, I’m not the judge but you can often and quickly tell when someone is telling this story if they’re trying to convince you while they’re still trying to convince themselves.

The biggest dark side of business travel moral decision I hear is:

  • Cheating on a spouse or significant other

This could be with a co-worker, road mistress, one-night stand.

This may be a one-time action or the start of a relationship.

  • This could be strip clubs when it’s against your morals or would dishonor a spouse or significant other
  • This could be massage parlors (full body if you know what I mean)
  • This could be prostitutes
  • Risky behavior that can have serious relational and even criminal consequences

But it doesn’t stop just there. Another choice could be driving under the influence. We would seemingly never do it at home but on the road, we seem to justify this decision.

And I get it, in the past, I’ve put myself in that same foolish decision before assuming I could do a risk analysis after two double vodka tonics and a bottle of wine.

The point here is not the debate of what is a moral decision or not, although I personally believe if you’re a Christian and follower of Christ, those answers are crystal clear. The point is we all have a moral compass that can get tested and we know if we should cross it or if we’re coming close to crossing it.

Again, they’re easy to justify at the moment:

  • I was okay to drive and nothing happened.
  • I didn’t touch.
  • It was only a kiss.
  • Clothes were still on.
  • We didn’t go ALL the way.
  • It was a one-night stand and it will never happen again.
  • My wife would be fine with it (although she doesn’t exactly know)

Let’s circle back to Charles’ story… he became so successful, so empowered, and so isolated, nobody dared question him or his expense reports. He knew how to play the game and justify anything. “It was for the customer, the client really wanted to try this or do this…” (of course it was almost always Charles’ idea).

Charles started his downward spiral with experimenting, which led to habits, which led to addiction, which led to bad moral decisions. He became callous, cynical, and eventually reckless yet you would never know it on the outside.

Charles had all five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

But here’s the irony: what you saw on the outside was only half of the story. Charles was also on his 2nd marriage, unhappy, and addicted to porn. He was estranged from his kids and had so many regrets.

He claimed he was up working late but couldn’t stop scrolling porn sites which led to other risky behavior such as massages and prostitutes.

But all we saw on the outside if Charles was the essence of success. Or so we thought…

Warning! The power of freedom and the power of choice on the road is a fast track to the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and Charles is living proof.

We all want to become like him in his success but no clue of the cost of his success and his hidden dark side of failures.

Here’s the Caution: Bad moral decisions are absolutely devastating to the road warrior. There is increased opportunity for regret due to isolation as a road warrior and we must understand the environment of the road.

Let me leave you with one question and one word:

One Word: Integrity

Our integrity matters no matter where we are but especially on the road.

The road has so many great opportunities and gifts but with the good lies the opportunity for bad and we need to be aware of the downward spirals that can lead us into the dark side of business travel and this is when your integrity matters the most.

One Question: Someone may never know of your choices but what does a secret do to our heart/soul?

It absolutely haunted Charles and I will never forget that night as he poured out his heart and soul with the secrets of his lack of integrity.

It is possible to live a life of integrity on the road and I challenge you to do it.

  • Know when you’re becoming a Road Grinch who is callous and cynical.
  • Know when an experiment should end.
  • Know when you’re developing bad habits.
  • Know when your bad habit owns you and you’re addicted.
  • Know when you’re facing a bad moral decision.

And choose integrity on the road. Protect your heart and soul to become an elite road warrior.

This was challenging due to the darkness the road can create in the life of a road warrior. My hope is the content was both enlightening and challenging. This just may be one of those articles you remember when you’re in the midst of one of the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and you respond in a positive way in that moment.

The three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior Group come into play once again:

  • Work – we leverage business travel for these downward spiral choices
  • Health – we could compromise our own health for these downward spiral choices
  • Home Life – we could damage and devastate those we love back home with these downward spiral choices whether they ever find out or not

Action Items:

  1. Be honest with yourself and own up to your dark side
  2. Find someone to tell (close friend/counselor)
  3. Know Thyself – put boundaries in place on the road and have someone hold you accountable.

I don’t want to leave you hanging, so tune into my next podcast, where I will be interviewing with psychologist Dr. Nick Howard. Make sure you catch that episode to hear from a professional and subject matter expert on what to do if you’re heading into or already in the dark side of business travel.

You Got This!

Eight Revealing Emotions I’m Experiencing Not Traveling At All

As business travelers are grounded, literally, it’s been weeks, now months since we’ve traveled due to the current health pandemic.

The reality is only knowing business travel most of my life, I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions not traveling at all. Many of those emotions on the same day.

I don’t claim to be a highly emotional or unstable guy – I’m high energy, but not all over the place emotionally.

If anything, for most of my life I didn’t show much emotion, and the result was passive-aggressive behavior that unintentionally affected those around me. It’s been an area of growth for me to handle my emotions in a healthy, mature way.

But if I were to open up the honesty vault, during my 1st couple of weeks of being off the road when this health pandemic began, I had bi-polar contrasting opinions and emotions.

With reflection, I’ve identified

Eight revealing emotions I’m experiencing not traveling at all

 

I challenge you to consider how many of these are true of you right now.

Emotion One – Confusion

My last trip was on March 10th. I had some meetings even though a big conference I was attending was canceled last minute. Little did I know that it would be my last trip in who knows how long.

Even then I was a little skeptical and had no clue what would transpire in the world of business travel let alone the world as a whole.

The next week I was left spending hours, then days canceling everything I knew was canceled, which meant flights, hotels, car rental, meetings, etc. I was also waiting and waiting to hear if my next trip was going to be postponed or canceled, so there was a degree of shrapnel I was dealing with.

 

Emotion Two – Disappointment

Then I moved from confusion into some real disappointment.

I was really looking forward to warm places during an extended gray, unpredictable winter in Chicago.

I always make it to Arizona in March to experience Chicago Cubs and White Sox spring training. This was the 1st time in eight years this didn’t happen.

I had a couple of big events in Las Vegas.

I was going to take my family with me on their spring break to the west side of Florida to thank them since Dad was gone a lot during Q1.

I had a trip to the Bay Area for a conference and training.

I was going to Dallas for a training and was so excited to see the brand new Globe Life Park, home of the Texas Rangers. I have to update my “been to every single baseball park to date that is current” streak.

And on and on and on.

Events, people, experiences, sites – all postponed or canceled.

Disappointment was and still is real in this business traveler.

 

Emotion Three – Relief

Once the Stay at Home Act hit Illinois (thanks to Chicago), I didn’t realize how tired I was of the grind of Road Life and I seek to become and remain an elite road warrior.

We aren’t rushing our kids all around town for basketball and volleyball practice. My early morning flights out and late flights in are not an issue.

Spring is finally showing up in Chicago and my kids can get outside.

I can help my wife with spring cleaning like never before in the Buck Fam house because I’m a captive audience. We’ve purged so much, someone driving by on garbage day asked if we were evicted.

But instead of staying in “relief mode”, the next emotion started kicking in and kicking me.

 

Emotion Four – Frustration

It was kinda nice not having the rapid pace our family often finds ourselves in.

But then I had to figure out how to work-from-home with everyone home all of the time.

Now, a little background. My wife is a school teacher and all of my kids are in school except my youngest who is four.

During the school year, I have my home office and the entire house to myself which is ideal. I can work but also help out around the house by taking a break and doing some laundry. I can also prepare dinner for the fam so they can come home and eat.

Then during summer, winter, and spring breaks, the Fam is home but I also have the ability to go and work somewhere else: Starbucks, the library, and often my local string of hotel lobbies (thank you Residence Inn, Hampton Inn, Hilton Garden Inn) or they can go out for a day at the park, the zoo or the pool and I can get the house back for long stretches of time to work.

This gives me some variety and allows me to make the best of working from home.

But always having interruptions, hearing voices (which I believe was only my family), all the time is frustrating.

 

Emotion Five – Exhaustion

I thought the road had its moments of exhaustion but who would’ve ever thought there’s another smaller pandemic called Zoom Fatigue?!

I recently read an article on Fast Company addressing Zoom Fatigue. Who knew that would become “a thing” but it’s real.

I’ve hit a different level of exhaustion due to:

  • Seeming to always be on the phone.
  • Zoom meeting after meeting with no breaks in between – which the author of the article called “Zero Break Schedule” – at least on the road I had drive time.
  • One Position for One Screen – let me quote the article: “Another reason that video calls can be exceptionally tiring is that you need to physically hold yourself in one position. In an in-person meeting, you’d likely shift from side to side, tilt back in your chair, swivel from looking one way to another depending on who is speaking, and lean over to take notes. Unfortunately in a video call, you’re stuck in one place trying to stay in the center of the screen, and moving in any other direction can cause your face to become awkwardly cropped.”
  • Interruptions that are seemingly quick and not bothersome, but I have found myself constantly trying to get back my train of thought or re-engage in the meeting.
  • And most importantly, an exhausted wife who is doing online learning with her grade school class, learning new technology, home-schooling the kids, and feeling like she’s on house arrest.

 

Emotion Six – Uncertainty

It’s hard not to get sucked in by the day-by-day updates on the news, articles being written, and the onslaught of social media.

How much longer?

What’s our plan?

How will my job, business travel, the world, look like post an unprecedented health pandemic?

All real concerns and ones that if not kept in moderation and perspective can lead to a whole other string of emotions like worry, fear, paralysis. Need I go on?

I’m a person of faith and this has been a real life challenge/opportunity to not allow uncertainty to steal my peace and my trust in God.

It’s brought our family closer together and strengthened our faith.

 

Emotion Seven – Curiosity

A mentor and friend of mine, Mike Kim, has this quote when challenging times confront us and here’s the quote: “What does this make possible?” or in other words: “What does being off the road for an extended period of time make possible?”

The longer I’ve been home I’ve tried to turn the uncertainty into curiosity.

How will companies handle this time with their business travelers on the ground to improve their road life so everybody can win?

How can I use this time wisely to have something to show for it other than relief it’s over?

And this has led into the 8th and final emotion I’m experiencing not traveling at all…

 

Emotion Eight – Motivation

Maybe it’s accepting the new normal right now.

Maybe it’s the weather finally warming up.

Possibly it’s my resilience and optimism coming through.

Probably a combination of all the above, but either way, I now only want to lightly experience any other of the eight emotions and spend my emotional energy on Motivation.

This will be a six-part series on how to leverage being home with the sole purpose of getting myself ready to get back to Road Life.

Are you in?

Emotions are real whether you choose to recognize them or not. We need to work through how they’re effecting our New Normal right now.

I encourage and challenge you to notice when these emotions come up and how you handle them.

Eight Critical Tips for Working From Home Effectively

Some business travelers work in an office building when they’re not on the road. But many, even most business travelers work from home when they’re not on the road. And this can be a challenge.

And right now, many have been forced into a work-from-home situation due to COVID-19. So, no matter what may be causing you to work from home when you’re not used to it or having to learn how to work from home, this is for you.

Now, working from home has its advantages as well as disadvantages.

I’ve had the following experiences:

  • Always in an office environment
  • Business Travel and going into the office on days I’m not traveling which was brutal, especially when I flew in late one night and had to be up early fighting Chicago traffic early the next morning.
  • Business Travel and working from home when I’m not traveling, which is my current reality.

A reminder of my home life: my wife is a school teacher, so during the school year and nonholidays or spring break, I just need to get the Fam out of the house, happy and on time. Then the house is mine.

During the summer or breaks, everyone is home all the time during my workday, which increases my challenges.

All this to say, I have an ever-changing Work-from-Home environment.

Based on years of doing Work-from-Home horribly and learning to make the most of what it hands me, here are my

Eight Critical Tips for Working From Home Effectively:

 

Tip One – Get Up on Time and Maximize a Strong Early Morning Rhythm

Working from home doesn’t mean it’s time to sleep in.

Be sure to maintain the morning schedule you had when going into the office, and if you now have more time due to not having to commute, use it for exercise or to have breakfast with the family.

Giving in to sleeping longer may reduce your energy level and make it harder to focus.

For example, I have the exact same morning rhythm whether I’m home or on the road with some variation. I do the following:

  • Drink 16 oz of room temperature water with a green mix of veggies/fruit, lemon juice, and sea salt
  • Make my hot green tea
  • Read my Bible for 15 minutes
  • Read a 2nd book that is inspirational or educational
  • Workout
  • Eat Breakfast
  • Connect with the Fam
  • Find your Morning Rhythm no matter at home or on the road.

Tip Two – Create a Designated Work Space

Don’t try to do your job from the sofa, or worse, your bed. If you don’t already have a designated office space in your home, create one.

Set up a table and comfortable chair in a room—or corner of a room—where you’re likely to have the most privacy. Use a decorative screen to help section off your workspace if need be.

Take over a guest room, if you have one, or claim the dining room as your new office, relegating meals to the kitchen instead. The idea is to have a space that’s as private as possible, where you can leave your work materials out at the end of the day.

My office was overtaken by those Buckley boys, so I created a workspace in our finished basement area that is a stand-up desk and faces a window. Brilliant!

 

Tip Three – Develop a Workday Startup Ritual

This is different from your Morning Routine.

You need to have a “Game On” rhythm that puts you in the work zone. It becomes a trigger to you that it’s Time to Work and Getter Dun!

This work startup ritual doesn’t have to be elaborate but simple and consistent. Here’s mine:

  • Fill my Elite Road Warrior water bottle
  • Turn on instrumental music
  • Light a candle
  • Open up my planner to review my schedule for the day

That’s it. Nothing magical or life-changing, but I do it every day to start up my workday.

Wash – Rinse – Repeat.

 

Tip Four – Create a Key3

These are three key action items that will determine if your day ahead is a success or not.

I’m not talking about your overwhelming task list.

These are the Key3 that will make or break your day.

How do you know what to choose?

Well, if you don’t get them done, you won’t feel like you made the most of your day, something was incomplete or missing, or you “didn’t leave it all on the field” to use a sports analogy.

Those are the days when I feel I was busy the entire day, but don’t feel like I really got anything done. I look back and think, “I was always doing something, but what did I actually accomplish?”

For the record, I hate those days and avoid them whenever possible.

And it starts with creating my Key3 for the day ahead.

Here is my process:

  • Brainstorm what I want to accomplish for the day (and this is always a long list)
  • I look for themes
  • I narrow them down to the most crucial 3
  • I list them in order of most important, 2nd most, then 3rd.
  • Then I start with my 1st of the Key3.

I want to feel at the end of the day that I made the absolute most of the day and did what was key to me and that comes from creating your Key3.

Tip Five – Hide the Distractions

I’m not sure if you’re an easily distracted person or not, but being distracted on the road is completely different than being distracted in the comforts of your own home.

I’ve found three areas where I can become easily distracted:

  • What You See – I cannot have the TV on because I will glance up and see the movement and that’s all it takes / my phone is another visual that can hijack me.
  • What You Hear – I can’t have the TV on or even music with lyrics especially ones that I know. If I’m going to do anything that requires thinking or developing, I find that hearing dings, alerts, notifications from my computer or phone is another distraction hijack.
  • What Enables Procrastination – There are tasks in work that I simply don’t want to do – return that call, write that proposal, start the presentation. And if I notice the dishes are not done or the laundry needs to be folded. All of a sudden, they become incredibly important and MUST BE DONE NOW!

Know thyself and what will hijack your focus and productivity especially for your Key3. Avoid distractions with what you see, what you hear, and what enables procrastination.

Tip Six – Establish a Communication System

Working from home can often leave you feeling cut-off from your coworkers and managers, which can quickly stymie productivity.

Make sure you have a system for effectively connecting, using both chat programs and video conferencing to stay in regular contact. Don’t just rely on email, which can lack details and intent.

The idea is to avoid isolating yourself, even though you’re not physically present at the office.

Know how others like to be communicated with, but make sure it doesn’t become a distraction (like Tip Four) with all the dings and notifications.

 

Tip Seven – Work in Time Blocks

It’s easy to just open up the computer and dive right into email or CRM. So, Tip Seven is the Money of all Eight tips, so if you get anything from the eight, pay specific attention to this one tip.

In the book, Start Finishing – How to Go From Idea to Done by Charlie Gilkey, he lays out four specific time blocks:

  • Focus Time Blocks – 90-120 minute blocks of time when we’re especially creative, inspired, and able to do high-level work that requires your focus (this would be your key3). Focus blocks fuel your best work.
    Critical – NO distractions. Turn off all alerts. Close email. Turn off your phone.

 

  • Social Time Blocks – 90-120 minute blocks of time when we’re primed and energetically in the right space to meet other people. This is interacting with people in real-time. This is your video and audio time when you’re home and have meetings, set calls, etc.
    Critical – Spread these out throughout the day otherwise it will drain you. Also, take your calls on a walk. Productivity expert, Marcey Rader, calls them Walkie Talkies. Get some movement in, get outside, and double dip with the call and exercise.

 

  • Administrative Time Blocks – 30-60 minute low-energy blocks of time when we’re not in the zone to do the work that requires “heavy lifting,” but there are still types of work we can do effectively. Think: email, phone calls, CRM work, digital, paper filing, low-level filing, organizing, etc.
    Critical – Batch admin tasks together which means lumping the same kind of work together (30 minutes of e-mailing, 30 minutes of calls, 30 minutes of CRM updates).

 

  • Recovery Time Blocks – variable-length blocks of time that we use for activities that recharge us such as a lunch break without a screen, going for a 15-minute mid-morning or mid-afternoon walk to “move the body and rest the mind.”
    Remember, the other three-time blocks of focus, social and admin are energy output blocks, and just like a battery that outputs energy, they need to be charged and this is done with the Recovery Time Block.

Critical – Do NOT underestimate or devalue the importance of the recovery time block, especially when working from home. You need to recharge and stop thinking you’re superhuman and the quality of your work won’t suffer. Lies nothing but lies.

I live my days working from home leveraging these four-time blocks. Each day the amount and length will look different, but that can be planned ahead of time.

In the Elite Road Warrior book, it’s a concept called Block and Tackle. The concept uses these four-time blocks then focuses on tackling only the task in that block of time.

One last word on Time Blocks. Know your energy levels throughout the day.

I use the term energy pacing and learning to become an Energyologist which means becoming an expert of your own energy levels.

It’s key you match your time block with your energy level. Don’t try to do Focus Work if you’re tired or hungry – your results will suffer.

 

Tip Eight – Develop a Workday Shutdown Ritual

Just as you had created a Workday Startup Ritual, you need to do the same to “shutter down” for the workday.

Work during work hours. When working from home, it can be tempting to try and sneak in some domestic tasks or social engagements. Try to avoid this during designated work hours, as the distraction factor will quickly mount, and you’ll find it hard to keep switching between work and home life. Take a lunch hour and a couple of breaks for your personal tasks, then focus on work during the times you would while at the office.

Honor quitting time. One of the dangers of working from home is that your work is always right there with you. Be as productive as possible during work hours, then end your day as you normally would when at the office. Shut your computer down, organize your papers, turn off the light in your home office space and call it a day. Taking the necessary time to detach from work every day will ultimately make you more productive.

Here is my specific workday shutdown ritual:

  • One last check of email
  • One last check of work platforms like WeChat, Slack, etc.
  • Check my calendar for tomorrow’s appointments
  • Begin to create my Key3 or at least the list of tasks for tomorrow to create my Key3 based on how today went
  • Physically shut my laptop down and audibly say “Case Closed” – why? Sounds silly but it’s a trigger that lets me know I’m officially off the work clock and I’m now on HST – home standard time.

You don’t have to choose all the tips but at least try and implement one tip and see what happens. The goal is daily trying to improve your Work-From-Home environment.

The Biggest Misconception to Master the Business Travel Life

When I first started as a business traveler a long, long time ago, I took my Type A, driven personality to a whole new level.

It was unleashed on the “open road” if you know what I mean.

I dove into this new opportunity that now included traveling the country and eventually certain parts of the world.

And I loved it.

I already went 100 miles an hour at home and now I was given the freedom to do the very same things on my own on the road.

Brilliant!

And I met hundreds and hundreds of business travelers who validated my theory.

Drive.

Drive..

Drive…

Personal Drive which was inner.

Road Drive which was outer.

And I poured myself into my work.

Nobody could and would outwork yours truly on the road.

And if I found out you did, I would sleep less and try to wear you down.

I even coined a phrase I use often called the Travel Triangle:

  • Airport
  • Board Room
  • Hotel Room

Wash – Rinse – Repeat.

And between us girls, I got good and I mean really good at the Travel Triangle.

I prided myself on not being outworked and killing it on the road.

But here is the biggest misconception I thought to master the business travel life.

Are you ready for it?

It’s all about WORK.

Um, excuse me. Aren’t you there to work?

After all, it is called BUSINESS Travel.

Touche.

But not ONLY work.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This is not a free pass to slack off.

But let me repeat, the biggest misconception to master the business travel life is it’s not only about work.

I believed this lie for far too long.

I went from a not so suite job to c-suite.

I had the cheap rental cars and lousy hotel rooms and fast food meals to living large and driving cool cars right up to my plush hotel, eating the best of the king’s food and drinking the best of the king’s wine.

But in the end, believing this misconception, business travel is only about work, almost took two very important parts of my life.

Let me tell you how I found out first of all.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve always gone 100 miles an hour in my life and it manifested itself with business travel.

I could get more done in a day than the average guy.

More trips.

More presentations.

More meetings.

More emails.

More calls.

I was up late and up early.

This high-performance car showed no signs of any deterioration.

At least on the outside.

Nothing but praises and raises were given to this high performer.

But then when I turned 40, things internally were going wrong.

I was getting very strange symptoms:

  • Heart racing
  • Flush face
  • Eyes glazed over
  • Migraines
  • Diaherria
  • Inability to absorb content
  • Sleeping and never feeling any effects of the rest
  • I went to the doctor and they told me the good news: we can’t find anything wrong.

Then they told me the bad news: we can’t find anything wrong.

And you know what I did after that?

Absolutely nothing.

I went harder.

And harder.

For years.

Until age 45, my body shut down and shut down hard. A complete and utter engine blowout.

It was like I turn a turn marked 30 and I slowed down from 100 to 70, hit the wall and the race was over.

But wait, there’s more.

During the same time, I was always busy on the road so therefore had little to no time to check-in when friends and family back home.

My friends understood or simply moved on.

The family?

They were feeling Dad’s distance both physically and emotionally.

To be blunt…

It was not good.

My wife and I were fighting over stupid things when I left, stress while I was gone.

It was brutal and hard enough leaving then to end with a massive fight just sucked.

Then the kiddos tension…

Kids cried when I left and upset about what I missed while I was gone.

I checked in at all the wrong times and was always distracted.

I was killing it on the road and getting killed at home.

I was important on the road but invisible at home.

To be honest, I was a hot mess when I got home due to the exhaustion than just so disconnected with home trying to make up for lost time but feeling paralyzed on how to make this mess I created any better.

How’s that for a vulnerability bomb?

What resulted was the foundation of the Three Focus Areas of Elite Road Warrior:

 

Remember, the biggest misconception to master the business travel life was in the 1st focus area: WORK.

Is it important? Absolutely. In fact, it’s Energy Habit #4: PERFORM. It’s why we’re ON the road.

But it’s not everything.

If you lose your health, how much harder is work or how much does work matter?

If you struggle or lose your family, how much is work affected?

When I lost my health, everything in my life was on hold. I couldn’t work.

My life revolved around my next medical test. Forced rest. Supplements.

When I had stress back at the Buckley ranch, my mind was elsewhere on the road. I felt the tension and handled it in unhealthy ways.

Not good, road warriors.

The stark reality is the three focus areas are all inter-related.

Eventually, I learned that when I had my health in an optimal place and my relationships back home with those I loved were strong, my work on the road actually improved.

This is key.

I had more energy.

I had less stress.

I had more clarity.

I felt more supported and connected.

Let’s be brutally honest…

The inbox will always receive emails.

There will always be calls to return.

There will always be another proposal to write, presentation to give, deal to close.

But nobody can take care of your health except you.

Will the business world end if you took 20-30 minutes to go for a walk or run or workout in the hotel fitness center or hotel room?

Nope.

Hence energy habit one: MOVE.

I chose to challenge every single morning on the road.

Prioritize the 2nd Focus Area of HEALTH.

And those you love back home.

What if you took just a couple of minutes to stop being the check-in guy or girl and became a connect-in guy or girl who learned to leverage the road to grow that relationship in ways you wouldn’t at home through energy habit six: CONNECT – connect intentionally, thoughtfully, and creatively.

It’s how I created the Not Forgotten Journal you’re now hearing about.

It why I created the Flat Kiddos.

It’s why I send postcards to my older sons.

It’s why I pre-write and pre-record intentional, thoughtful words to those I love back home so they know they’re still a priority to me while I’m not physically there with them.

Here’s the point:

Your business world will change entirely if you stopped believing the biggest misconception to master the business travel life that it only has one focus area: WORK.

Take care of your health because only you can.

Take care of your family intentionally, thoughtfully, and creatively to invest into their lives.

Here’s a hard reality: 

Remember, your family has a choice of whether to connect or reconnect with you if you’ve been physically and emotionally distant.

They don’t have to come back to you so don’t put yourself in that position. Two are involved in this decision.

I’ve had too many conversations that break my heart with especially men of power after a couple of double vodka tonics who admit they’re on their 2nd or 3rd marriage and/or their kids could care less if they’re in their lives or not.

My heart breaks hearing this out of shape, lonely, broken but seemingly highly successful business traveler killing it on the road.

It doesn’t have to be this way, road warriors.

There are three focus areas to becoming and remaining an elite road warrior for a reason:

 

Let’s Land This Plane

The premise of Elite Road Warrior is energy habits. All six of the energy habits are encompassed within the three focus areas:

  1. Work – Energy habit 4: Perform / Energy Habit 5: Develop
  2. Health – Physical Energy Habits – Energy Habit 1: Move / Energy Habit 2: Fuel / Energy Habit 3: Rest
  3. HomeLife – Energy Habit 6: Connect

My hope is this is a challenge, a wake-up call to see how you’re personally doing in the three focus areas.

You may be doing great in one, but what about the other two?

Or maybe good on two but what about the other one?

Remember, you can always find another job but you can’t always get your health back or it’s a long long journey or get your family back.

My hope and prayer are you do whatever it takes to become and remain an elite road warrior and it starts by no longer believing the biggest misconception in business travel and excelling in all three focus areas of Work / Health / Home Life.

You Got This!