Do You Know How to Discover and Develop Your Unique Life Relationships?

 

Relationships are such a huge part of our lives. Whether it’s the intimacy of a marriage, our immediate family or our closest friends, they influence our lives in almost every way.

 

I feel passionately about making the most of our personal potential especially in the area of our key connections. One way to develop this potential is to define your 12 Relational Core Connections.

These are the 12 people in your life right now who hold the greatest investment (the 12), influence (inner 3) and impact (1).

But there are also unique life relationships that are important but don’t necessarily fall into the 12 Core Connections. What do you do with them?

I’ve found these other relationships fall into three specific categories that could be defined and developed since they hold a unique place in our lives.

Often these unique relationships come and go but are still very important to us.

 

Here’s How to Discover and Develop your Unique Life Relationships:

 

1. CLOSE But FAR Relationships

I’ve lived a number of places through my 4.5 decades and you may have a similar story.

Most of those “once seemingly important” relationships fade with the distance. At the time they were everything but the miles were just too much.

But then there are certain people who simply climbed deep into your heart.

These close (important) but far (distance) relationships have changed due to lack of proximity.

Technology makes it easier than ever to stay connected with these types of close but far friends.

But it’s the together time via phone or especially in person that in a matter of moments, you can get current and go right back to that special connection that puts them in this category.

I am blessed to have a number of dear people that climbed deep into my heart who are on this list. I’m humbled by these rich relationships that have amazingly lasted the test of time and have helped mold me into the person I am today.

 

2. Mentor Relationships

These are the people that have played or currently play a very influential role in your life. You need these types of relationships to grow and develop.

But they wouldn’t necessarily be categorized as a close friend and make the list of 12. Or they may not ever make the friendship phase and that’s okay.

I’ve had a handful of these mentors in my life at different seasons. Some were business coaches. Others were spiritual advisors. And a couple mentors were counselors during very difficult personal times.

There are also the mentor relationships that you invest into someone else. It’s a special person you see potential and seek to discover and develop it in their lives. We need to be finding and pouring in these individuals and invest into them as others have to us.

Either way, the relationship is important and unique. They are often for a season of our lives that made an impact in our future.

I’m thankful to still be in contact with many that have blessed me with their wisdom.

 

3. Relationships to Develop

This category is new relationships that have the potential of becoming so much more.

It’s still early in the development of the relationship and a few give hope to becoming very valuable.

For example, I had two individuals that a couple of years ago were on this list. Last year they work their way to the Circle of Investment of the 12. This past year they both climbed into my Circle of Influence of 2 of the 3. (Thank you Nick and Ben!)

If we have a number of new relationships that come into our lives, this category of Relationships to Develop will be an active and important category especially if you guard your Circle of Investment (which I highly recommend).

Usually these names don’t instantly come to mind. But you would be surprised when you work through your 12 Relational Core Connections and these three unique life relationships, what names will rise to the surface.

 

What to Do Next With These Unique Life Relationships

So, what’s next? How do you take action on this information? Here are some suggestions:

List the names in each of the categories – Brainstorm. Think about it for a while. I wrote these three categories on a sheet of paper and had it accessible as I went through this process over a few days.

Confirm a final list – make sure that’s your current unique life relationships. There is not a right number to the limit. This is your list. And you’ll revisit it from time to time to update.

Reach out to them soon – Let them know you were thinking of them and appreciate this unique role they still play in your life. You will be surprised at how much they not only appreciate being thought of but how you really feel about them. It’s a relational win / win. Send them an email, text, or voice mail with a pre-thought out sincere message of gratitude. Be specific.

If you’ve not read or created your 12 Relational Core Connections, I encourage you to check out the post HERE and do the exercise of creating your connections.

 

Closing Challenge…

It’s not a normal thing to spend time thinking about the relationships in our lives.

But this is what sets those who reach their personal potential and those who settle for life as they know it and then complain about it.

I challenge you to care enough about the key connections in your life right now. And take the time to list the names, confirm the names, and reach out to them soon.

 

 

Closing Question…

Who are the names on your Unique Life Relationships list and have you reached out to them yet?