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Six Meaningful Words to Communicate Consistently with Those Back Home

Most of us nail the Focus Area of Work. And we have the stress, exhaustion, and the weight gain to prove it. Some of us are better than others in the Focus Area of Health.

I know many road warriors who are great at Home Life for a while, regress, bounce back, regress – you get the point.

But the Focus Area of Home Life separates the men from the boys if you will. For the longest time, I was what we call at Elite Road Warrior Group, a Check-In Guy. I did the bare minimum of the text/call/video chat. There’s nothing wrong with these and I still do them each and every business trip.

Here’s where I went off-road with my thinking – I viewed the road and the limitations:

  • I can’t eat healthy on the road
  • I can’t get in a good workout on the road
  • I can’t do more than just text/call/video chat if that at all while on the road

Lies Nothing but Lies!

Why? Because you can leverage the road to improve your road life in all three focus areas: Work / Health / Home Life.

As well as ALL six energy habits:

  1. Move
  2. Fuel
  3. Rest
  4. Perform
  5. Develop
  6. Connect

And here’s the reason: Every Can’t has a Can.

There are opportunities the road can and does offer you if you look for them.

The key is two things:

  • Finding them and…
  • Leveraging them

For example, when I’m on the road I don’t have a house full of kids and a wife trying to rush out the door to work as a school teacher. I’m not dependent on what the kids want for dinner or if my wife is in the mood to cook tonight or not.

On the road, the early morning is all mine – I can do any of the following:

  • Sleep in (especially if I drank too much the night before but of course, never intentionally)
  • Checked text and email on my phone in bed
  • Watched CNN / Fox News
  • OD on coffee and have a sugar-filled breakfast

Or I can…

  • Read (energy habit 5 – develop)
  • Journal (energy habit 5 – develop)
  • Workout (energy habit 1 – move)
  • Eat a healthy breakfast (energy habit 2 – fuel)
  • Be intentional, thoughtful, and creative with the fam (energy habit 6 – connect)

I’m not just speaking necessarily about your morning routine but it goes to prove you can leverage your morning to do what you want to do.

Every CAN’T has a CAN and you need to find the can and leverage it.

So, let’s drill down on Connect energy habit.

Many of us have significant others and children back at home. And if we’re honest, we’re just getting by and not getting better in those relationships while we travel. I know it was definitely the case for me with my wife and kids.

Until… I started being intentional, thoughtful, and creative to leverage the road to connect with my wife and kids in ways I wouldn’t normally do back home but would be very meaningful to them while I’m gone.

And I’ve learned over time and often the hard way, that words matter especially when I’ve taken the time to make them mean something.

Now, my kids, especially my high schoolers, won’t admit it and I’m grateful for a “yeah” or “okay” or a simple grunt. But I know they listen to and read everything that is sent to them.

And my wife who is a single mom when I’m gone even though she’s busy and stressed with all the extra responsibilities still appreciates when I’m intentional, thoughtful, and creative.

As a result, I’ve found there are six words that if and when I communicate them on a consistent basis are a game-changer on letting those I love back home know I truly care and am thinking about them even when I’m on the road.

 

What are the Six Meaningful Words to Communicate Consistently with Those Back Home?

These six words will not be new to you. They’re nothing out of the ordinary.

But… when they’re communicated while you’re away, they mean so much more to the recipient. And the longer they’ve not been said, the more they will mean. Water to a parched soul.

You may be asking who are these words for?

Personally, I communicate these six words to my wife and my wife. The context is what changes.

Here they are and in no particular order:

Word One – Thinking

The Sentence – I’m Thinking of You because…

The Why – Your absence is noticeable

Admit it, we’re busy, sometimes beyond busy on any given business trip and some days are a blur in and of themselves!

But those back home have the same work, school, and home routine they always do.

They miss your presence. So when you can let them know you’re thinking of them and why it matters. When I say these words to my wife, she’s reminded she’s not forgotten on the road.

Example: I’m thinking of you because this place would be so much better if you were here.

Word Two – Appreciate

The Sentence – I Appreciate You for…

The Why – to show you value their efforts

It’s easy to be in a relationship and simply take it and that individual for granted. I was guilty of this one for a long time.

But I need to let especially my wife know how much I appreciated her:

  • Taking care of the kids while I’m gone
  • Taking care of the house while I’m gone
  • Handling difficult situations while I was gone

Never assume they know you appreciate them. Remind them consistently and in creative ways.

Example: I appreciate you for taking care of the home while I’m on the road

Word Three – Proud

The Sentence – I’m Proud of You for…

The Why – Affirmation must be spoken

These were words I longed to hear from my father. They came once in a while and in different ways. Often it came from my dad telling them to other people who sometimes told me. But what meant the most was hearing or reading it directly from him.

Our significant others need to hear “I’m Proud of you for…” but especially our kids. Another way of saying it is, “I’m impressed with…” Thinking the word PROUD or IMPRESSED is just not enough. We must learn to say it and on a consistent basis!

Example: I’m proud of you for being such an incredible mother.

Word Four – Miss

The Sentence – I Miss You because…

The Why – We need to be longed for

This word is important because oftentimes, we’re not left back in the ordinary world.

What my wife would do to stay in a Courtyard Marriott or Embassy Suites. Drive my cool rental car. Eat most of the meals cooked for her at a restaurant. Have a completely quiet morning or evening before bed not fighting with the kids to just go to sleep!

My wife needs to know that I would rather be home eating leftovers than eating the 4th night in a row at a restaurant.

My kids need to know I miss being at their weeknight practice or game or school event. This word matters more than we think even if we do we say it a lot.

Example: I miss you because I would rather be with you than anyone else right now.

Word Five – Need

The Sentence – I Need You because…

The Why – We depend on them for everything at home

Let’s not be confused with you being needy. It reminds me of Bob Wiley from the movie with Bill Murray called What About Bob. We may have more Bob Wiley in us of “Gimme Gimme” and “I Need I Need” – and the road can create that in us when we’re being served everywhere we go.

But those back home need to hear they’re needed by us as well. We depend on them to take care of the home while we’re away. Saying I need you is not a sign of weakness but of strength. We may be ALL THAT on the road but we need those back home to take care of the home.

They must hear our need for them and how much that matters to us. Another word you could use is DEPEND.

Example: I need you because I act like I can do it all but I need your help when I’m gone.

Word Six – Love

The Sentence – I Love You because… or I love it when you…

The Why – We all want to know we’re loved

Men are the worst at this one. We secretly believe what one man once said “I told my wife I loved her when we got married and I told will let her know if it ever changes.” Not cool, man.

Being loved is core to our being and it’s one of the easiest words to avoid saying or we say it flippantly or loosely. This is why completing the sentence, “I love you because…” “I love you for…” or “I love when you…” is very important for this word.

Example: I love you because you always put others before yourself / I love it when you’re so excited to see me when I come home.

But how do we say these words on the road…?

Let’s transition to…

Three Ways to Communicate These Six Words

Words are a challenge especially for me. So here are 3 ways to communicate these words:

1.Writing

  • Text
  • Postcards
  • Connect Cards
  • Not Forgotten Journal – where you can write to a loved one on your business trips to bring home with you showing them that they haven’t been forgotten.

2. Audio

  • Pre-recorded
  • Random through the day

3. Video

  • Pre-recorded
  • Early in the morning
  • Before bed especially if I couldn’t do FaceTime in the evening

I usually brainstorm these during a Think Space time and write them in my Elite Road Warrior Branded Journal in the Think Space section.

Pro Tip – the more you can do non-live the better – why? This allows them to read, listen, or watch over and over again.

We underestimate just how much our words matter to those back home.

You Got This! Words matter big time…

How the “Invest in You”​ Formula Can Change Your Life

Taking time for personal and/or professional development is a lost art and one of the last priorities for most people.

One of my favorite quotes is by an author, Dale Partridge who was quoting his friend and said, “If you’re not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you’re determined to learn, no one can stop you.”

This means investing in yourself to get better.

It requires the following from you:

  • Your Time – you need to carve out a period of time to invest in you and you alone
  • Your Focus – you need to be in the learning zone (aka locked in / dialed in / no distractions)
  • Your Commitment – you need to be consistent

Most are simply not willing to make those requirements a habit but it’s possible whether you’re on the road or at home.

The formula for the Develop Energy Habit is: Invest in You. There are three parts to the formula with a natural and necessary flow.

How the “Invest in You” Formula Can Change Your Life

The 1st part is to Sharpen the Mind.

Key Phrase: “Think Putting Good Content In”

Too many of us “put content in” but the keyword in the phrase is “good” which means content that helps you develop personally and/or professionally.

The normal content is email, text, news, social media feeds, etc.

In this energy habit, that content doesn’t count. We want good content that helps you develop personally and/or professionally.

So, let’s break down the 1st part of the Invest in You Formula of Sharpen the Mind.

There are three keys to Sharpen the Mind:

Find the What

What content do you want to consume that will help you grow as a person that sharpens your mind?

  • Find something you enjoy – this is something you look forward to reading
  • Find something you want to learn – this is something you could implement right away

This is next level, road kiddos. It could be for your job/career or to develop a new skill. The topics are endless, and this is where most business professionals wonder why they’re still stuck in their job. Remember, most people only read what is required of them instead of reading to get ahead.

Find the Where

Where do you find book ideas?

  • On this blog, I mention many book titles, including my own, Elite Road Warrior
  • Amazon – just do a search. There are so many books available
  • Audible – maybe you like to listen to books. This is a great option to receive the content while you’re driving, or busy doing dishes.
  • Barnes & Noble – Once stores start opening up, this is a great option. When you have downtime and can search the shelves for a title that is something you enjoy or has something you can learn.

Find the When

Having the place doesn’t help, if there’s no time to read. Having a quiet place where I won’t be interrupted, where I can sharpen my mind without distractions is key.

I implement reading into my time blocks – first thing in the morning, I make reading part of my morning routine. I read my Bible and my current motivational book.

Right after dinner can be another good time whereas a family we have individual time where I can do some great reading.

The 2nd part of the “Invest in You” Formula is to Process the Thoughts.

Key Phrase: “Think Getting the Content Out”

Here’s a paradox for you: the faster and busier things get, the more we need to build thinking time into our schedule. The noisier things get, the more we need to build quiet reflection spaces into our day, where we can truly focus.

No matter how busy you think you are, you can carve time and space to think. Jeff Weiner, the CEO of LinkedIn, schedules up to two hours of blank space on his calendar every day. He divides them into thirty-minute increments where he schedules nothing. It is a simple practice he developed when back-to-back meetings left him with little time to process what was going on around him.

At first, it felt like an indulgence and a waste of time. But eventually, he found it to be his single-most valuable productivity tool. He sees it as the primary way he can ensure he is in charge of his day, instead of being at the mercy of it.

Creating Think Space is a new concept for most people so let me define the concept:

Think Space is a dedicated time to develop and process key ideas.

Another way of looking at Think Space is as an “idea formulator.”

There are many ways to maximize Think Space:

  • PREPARE for Think Space

This sounds obvious but getting into the “thinking zone” has some prerequisites.

I’ve wasted more time during my Think Space because I was simply unprepared in two key areas:

  1. Concepts to think through – I now have the time and couldn’t think of what I wanted to spend this time on, and I need a dedicated period of time to process.
  2. Means of recording it – If and when an idea would come, I had nowhere to record it and had to leave it to my memory. Guess where THAT idea ended up!

These are solvable issues when you prepare in advance. When I know I’m going somewhere that I’m going to have to wait, I always plan ahead and bring a journal and/or clipboard, blank paper, and a few fine-tipped colored pens. (So… I’m a creative type who likes old school pen and paper but specifically different colors and blank white paper). I then label my Think Space topic at the top of the page.

  • Create the Right Environment for Think Space

You know what distracts you, so do what you need to do to make the most of this time. This is absolutely key. You want to keep your mind in the thinking zone, so definitely remove email, text, and phone alerts.

You also know when the environment is advantageous for thinking. Do you need quiet? Music? Headphones to either knock out the sound or for a certain type of music?

 

What to Think About During Think Space

So, you’re all prepared and it’s actually go-time to process. If you don’t have a clue already on how you could spend the time, here are some ideas:

Professional

  • Preparation – What do you need to develop or review for any upcoming meetings/presentations, etc.?
  • Follow-up – Who do you need to follow-up with as a result of your business travel?
  • Deliverables – What did you promise that you need to take action on to be a person of your word?

Personal

  • Goals – What do you want to accomplish in the next 90 days? What are your yearly goals? Do you want to write a book? Run a 10K?
  • Big Decisions – Do you move? Do you take the job offer? Should you change careers?
  • Your Future (looking forward) – What changes do you want to make in your life?
  • Evaluation (looking backward) – Did you accomplish your goals? How did your presentation go? Workouts?

Think about what to think about. As odd as that sounds, use Think Space as a roadmap to formulate the thoughts you want to develop. You will be surprised at the results if you take the time. Then, write your ideas down to think about for a future Think Space session.

 

Find a centralized place to keep your notes from your Think Space session.

There is nothing worse than finally having a great idea but losing it. You may have even written it down, but now you cannot find it. Talk about maddening! Learn to keep all your Think Space results in a centralized location for easy access.

 

The 3rd and last part of the Invest in You Formula is to Monitor the Heart.

Key Phrase: “Think Checking In on You”

As road warriors, we know the check-in process and often it’s a huge sign of relief to finally show up at the hotel after travel or a long day on the road, and we’re relieved when we finally get to check-in.

Same idea, but to Monitor the Heart means taking time to check in with what’s going on inside of you.

Guys struggle with heart stuff – we think it’s too “touchy-feely” and the women have us beat hands down in this area but also scare us off so we don’t even touch it.

But gents, that has to change. Let me help a brother out on this one.

 

How Do You Monitor The Heart?

We need to learn to check the vitals consistently. Here are some vital checks you need to do:

  1. Pulse Check

Learn to ask: “How am I REALLY doing?”

We ask people all the time, “How are you doing?” We don’t really care or even want them to answer beyond fine or great. My father used to have a drop-dead line when someone asked that question. Here’s how it went:

Acquaintance: “How are you doing?”

My father: “Depends”

Acquaintance: (Confused and stops in their tracks.) “Depends on what?”

My father: “How much time you have. If you only have a second, I’m fine. If you have a minute or two, I’ll actually tell you how I’m doing.”

That interaction was always awkward to me as a kid, but wow, do I understand it now. On the road, we would change the word “fine” to “busy” to compete with each other on who is busier (aka who’s more important!).

A pulse check asks YOU “How are you REALLY doing?” A pulse check is quick but important.

Try answering this question daily. It may take a while to get how you’re REALLY doing out in the open, but that’s the goal.

2.  Gratitude Check

Learn to ask: “Who or what am I grateful for right now?”

We all want to be grateful people, but are we? How often do we acknowledge our gratitude? This is a discipline that can change how you view your life once you put it into consistent practice.

I began this practice years ago with a gratitude journal that caused me to reflect and ask this gratitude question: Who or what am I grateful for right now? I have to admit, it was harder than I thought. It’s easy to be quick, shallow, and answer with one-word responses, like my teenage sons. I’m asking you to think of only one per day to start.

Two Key Details:

  • Write It Down – There is power in writing words down; it also allows you to go back later and read what you’ve written.
  • Be Specific – Once you list the who or what, write down why you’re grateful.

3.   Soul Check

Learn to ask: “What do I need to get out that I’m keeping in?

There are issues, feelings, frustrations, anger, hurts, disappointments, and on and on that we continue to swallow and never let see the light of day. Some of them are literally killing us. The stress they’re putting on our hearts is like the fluid crushing my mother’s physical heart. Both are doing damage, just in a different way. The heart is where you find yourself.

Have you ever been around a person who doesn’t have a filter and just starts dumping poison? I find this guy all too often on the road. This dude has some serious heart issues.

I’ve found that morning journaling has been the best source for me to monitor the heart process. I ask a series of questions daily to monitor my own heart.

I want to be around people who have a heart that is sensitive to those around them. I’m drawn to them and compelled to become more like them in this way. They raise the bar and are not dependent upon others to make decisions for them. I’m around enough Donny and Debbie Downers on the road who’ve lived for years on Denial Street.

The best and most helpful action is to talk to someone about what’s going on at a soul level in your heart. Most of us need to figure out what’s going on in there first, and you can do that by learning to ask, “What do I need to get out that I’m keeping in?” then bring it to a trusted friend or counselor.

Let me start you off by asking how your heart is toward your…

  • Spouse/significant other
  • Kids
  • Friends
  • WORK – boss/co-workers/clients/your role
  • What you care about in life/what matters to you (causes/faith)

1. Do the pulse check. Ask and answer, “How am I really doing?”

2. Do the gratitude check. Ask and answer, “Who or what am I grateful for right now?”

3. Do the soul check. Ask and answer, “What do I need to get out that I’m keeping in?”

The Elite Road Warrior Journal is a beautiful black, artisan branded journal that has two sections: one for Think Space and one for Road Life to monitor the heart. You should try it out yourself!

Your action items this week may be:

  • Finding something to read to develop you personally or professionally
  • Taking time for Think Space
  • Purchasing the Elite Road Warrior Journal at our online store
  • Journaling key questions each day to truly check in with yourself

The energy habit of DEVELOP takes time and commitment but separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls.

And there’s no better time than now to begin personal and professional development being at home to prepare you for the road.

Get your read and think time on man!

075 – Why You May Be Living in the Exhaustion Cycle

 

How many of you are just plain tired?

The grind of business travel can just plain wear you out at times. Early flights. Late flights. Delayed flights. Canceled meetings. Late dinners.

Is anyone deeply tired? I mean you feel tired at a whole new level.

And how many more of you can take that a few steps further and would say you’re exhausted?

There’s physical exhaustion when your body is just wasted, ka-put.

Then there’s being mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Have you been there before?

Maybe you’re there now.

Most road warriors live at a pace that is simply unsustainable over a long period of time.

And oh how we try!

But here’s the challenge: you simply don’t realize the exhaustion when you’re in the middle of it.

A friend of mine, Dennis Mcintee, always says, “You can’t read the label when you’re inside the bottle.”

Others can. They see it and even feel it. Sometimes avoid it.

The Exhaustion Cycle is a real thing.

I lived it and it took my crash for me to get out of this vicious cycle.

And the problem is once you escape The Exhaustion Cycle it’s not a once and for all, one and done and never going back cycle.

It will lure and suck you back in before you know it.

Kinda like that bad bad girlfriend I found myself going back to in high school.

The difference is once you realize it, you can get out of it earlier or avoid it altogether the next time.

Ideally, your company notices before you do and can help you stay out of the exhaustion cycle quicker than you trying on your own. And that’s the type of company you want to work for!

Here Are The Three Phases Of The Exhaustion Cycle:

PHASE ONE = BUSY – CAN’T STOP NOW

It’s a new greeting or hello on the road.

“How are you?” “Busy. How are you?”

Then we feel obligated to prove just how busy we are and if you’re sick like me, you try to outdo the other person and one-up them.

“Let me tell you about MY week or MY travel stretch, I would trade you in a second!”
Really?

It’s sad but being busy is the new status symbol.
I have to be busy if I’m going to be important.

We don’t know any other way. We remove any possible margin and downtime. We start our week this way and in full swing before lunch. On Monday.

Now, I want to state upfront, busy could be a very good thing if it means things are happening. Forward motion. It becomes an issue when it becomes a consistent pace and the only way we do life.

There are busy seasons but all too often we live busy lives.

And oh there’s a RUSH to being busy. Making things happen.

I love this quote by James Gleick in the book, Faster: “Our ability to work fast and play fast gives us power. It thrills us. If we have learned the name of just one hormone, it’s adrenaline. No wonder we call a sudden exhilaration a “rush”.”

But here’s the takeaway: it’s not a sustainable pace.
The problem is being busy is never noticed and corrected, but often just the way things are for us, our way of life.

When I get too busy, I become distracted, rushed, impatient, more prone to make errors, and I usually don’t enjoy what I’m doing as much. You also don’t feel like you can bother a busy person because, well, they’re busy. I feel rushed with them like I don’t have their full attention.

Sadly, I’m that guy too often. Busy is having little to no margin. And margin means having space to breathe.

BUSY = I’m hurried. And busy doesn’t always mean productive.

When I’m overly busy, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything very well. I have to move on to the next thing. And I have a love/hate relationship with being busy.

I hate being hurried and hassled by an overcrowded schedule. But I also love being in demand and the adrenaline rush of a fast-paced life. Ugh!!!

I once heard someone say, “I’ve been thinking about starting a support group for compulsive hurriers. The upside is our meetings wouldn’t last long.”

Even Thomas Kelly said back in 1941: “We feel honestly the pull of many obligations and try to fulfill them all. And we are unhappy, uneasy, strained, pressed, and fearful we shall be shallow… We have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power.”

Wow, over 75 years ago this was quoted and look how much busier and hurried we are now. It’s not easy to slow down in our lives. Despite the complaining, we like the exhilaration and rush.

Even if we take a moment to think about how to get off the proverbial treadmill, we’re not sure where to even begin. Busy is a slippery slope, a downward spiral that rarely is an end but only the beginning.

We don’t feel like we can pull back because we “can’t stop now.” My energy is dispersed. It’s ALL over the place. And it’s the opposite of focus.

It’s going absolutely everywhere because I’m busy and there’s “people to see and things to do.”

Don’t you know I’m busy people!

Phase One of the Exhaustion Cycle – Can’t Stop Now = I’m Hurried and my Energy is Dispersed

You can be busy for a long time before phase 2 but it will come unless something dramatically changes in the way you do life which we’ll learn, after this short break.

Busy, if not kept in check by you as the road warrior or preferably your company can very easily lead to the next phase, which is:

PHASE TWO = BEATDOWN – CAN’T TAKE THIS

Busy, “can’t stop now” builds in pressure. Rarely does it stop with busy. You don’t immediately end up in beatdown from busy but IF you keep up the busy pace of always being hurried and little to no margin, it will inevitably lead to feeling beatdown.

This is inward. No one usually knows when you move from Busy to Beatdown. Remember, Beatdown is a feeling and you start thinking: I Can’t Take This! Whatever feelings of fun or a rush you were getting from “being busy” have officially left the building. A thing of the past.

If this is the case, you’re officially entered Beatdown. But it’s subtle so you must look for the signs.
Personally, I feel more frustrated, more easily irritated. I become passive-aggressive. I feel tension. I even feel cynical sometimes I’m embarrassed to say.

I also become more defensive like everyone is after me. My self-talk increases. It starts with: “I don’t want to do this” then “I can’t take this.” And when it gets really bad, it turns into audible unintelligent man sounds: UGH! ARGH!

I also get snarky, more sarcastic, and more cutting with my words. It never ends well and has become an area of growth for me.

Remember, Busy = I’m hurried but…
Beatdown = I’m stressed.

Busy is beginning to pile on and it’s no longer as fun. The “rush” is wearing off. Not cool, man. You’re officially feeling its stress. And people handle stress in different ways.

Some ways are healthy, such as exercise, downtime, or even taking much needed time off of work.

But most people’s stress outlets are often unhealthy, especially when you’re too busy and beatdown.

We think we don’t have the time or can’t take the time to do the very things that relieve this stress.

This is never good Road Warriors.

For me, it starts with my muscles getting tight in my neck and shoulders with no back rub in sight. Then I move on to lazy or poor eating choices. I want something I can control and makes me feel better. I want little preparation and a quick reward. Snacks. I also get lazy on my eating and drinking to “feel better”. A little more sauce (aka vino) and a lot more Oreos. Hide the bag from the women and children. Those Oreos are going to get hurt and it won’t be pretty.

My energy goes from dispersed in the BUSY phase to decreased.

My ENERGY is DECREASED

My energy NOT my stress is decreased. Your Stress INCREASES and Energy DECREASES.

As my 4-year-old says: “that NO good!”

When we’re in the Beatdown Phase and let’s say you use the weekend to regroup, you’ll fly through the Busy Phase and into the Beatdown Phase before the end of the

day Monday.
Something has to change.

And once you’re in the Beatdown Phase, you almost always end up in the final phase of the Exhaustion Cycle:

PHASE THREE = BURNOUT – CAN’T KEEP GOING

Sadly, most road warriors have been there. We just don’t care anymore. We just want everything to stop.

And what happens when we can’t keep going?

Things start dropping.

Busy = I’m Hurried.
Beatdown = I’m Stressed.
But complete Burnout = I’m Done.

Check, please.

I simply don’t have the bandwidth needed to get what needs to be done because I’m done.

This is a bad place. And it doesn’t end quickly. No more quick fixes. Everything good that was working for you is usually gone – sleeping well / eating healthy / fitness to even more movement.

I recently read a commencement speech delivered by Brian Dyson, the former COO of Coca-Cola a number of years ago: “Imagine life as a game in which you’re juggling some five balls in the air.

You name them – work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they’ll be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same.”

Here’s the moral of the story:

We cannot afford to drop the highest priorities…

And when you get to Beatdown, the likelihood is incredibly high that one or more of the glass balls will be dropped. Some very important glass balls may be scuffed, nicked and damaged.

And for many, their health is the very first thing that goes. We know we need to change things but we’re SO far from where we used to be, it just seems insurmountable. And what happens to my energy in the Beatdown Phase?

It went from dispersed to decreased but now…

My ENERGY is DEPLETED

Symptoms could be:

  • No motivation to do anything
  • Anger
  • Aggressive (passive in passive-aggressive now sold separately)
  • Numb or choosing numbing behaviors

This is the Jekyll and Hyde side of you – the complete opposite of who you were and possibly the ugly side. It is for me.

Burnout is L-O-N-G and often painful for you and those around you. Burnout is also scary. It can lead to any or all of the following:

  • Depression
  • Reaction – anywhere but here mindset
  • Regret – do something stupid (usually big) to feel better or feel anything at all

This is where glass balls in the juggling example crack or even shatter. Health and Relationships are the most critical. The Burnout Phase should “scare the exhaustion out of you!”

Drastic measures often need to be taken by you as a road warrior or your company and ironically, this is the purpose of the Elite Road Warrior Group, to help eliminate burnout and exceed results for business travelers.

There is hope. There IS a way OUT of the Exhaustion Cycle…

Here’s a remake of Psalm 23 for those who live in The Exhaustion Cycle:

Psalm 23 revisited

The road is my dictator, I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me into deep depression, it hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for busyness’ sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it all done, for me “ideal” is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule.
They anoint my head with migraines, my inbox overflows.
Surely busy, beatdown, and burnout shall follow me all the days of my life.
And I will dwell in the bonds of the exhaustion cycle forever.

–Living on Purpose by Tom and Christine Sine and altered in key places by Bryan Paul Buckley

 

More about Elite Road Warrior:

069 – Three Ways to Maximize Food and Drink to Increase Your Work Day Energy

Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast Episode 069 show notes! This episode is a focus on the food and drink we consume and how to leverage it for a more productive workday.

You Can Listen to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast on the Following:

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

  • The road exposes our habits, not enhances them.
  • The MTHC (Make The Healthiest Choice) Formula
  • 1) CONTINUALLY HYDRATE 
    • Key Phrase: Early & Often
    • 4 ways to add more water
      1. Drink Water the Moment You Wake Up
      2. Place a Water Bottle On Your Work Space
      3. Add Natural Flavors to Your Water
      4. Track Your Daily Water Intake
  • 2) Clean & Green
    • Key Phrase: Add First Then Reverse
    • CLEAN – Megan Blacksmith (Zesty Ginger)  – “grows on a plant or eats a plant, but is not manufactured in a plant.”
      • 2 ways to be clean with every meal:
        1. Less Ingredients – The fewer the ingredients on the label the better
        2. Less Processed – The fewer steps involved to make, the better.
          • https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/nutrition-you-asked/what-does-processed-food-actually-mean
    • GREEN – more leafy greens and dark vegetables 
  • 3) Snack Strategically 
    • Key Phrase: Planned Energy
    • Snack strategically with the purpose of providing your body energy.
      • Good purposeful snack: Mixed Nuts  (almonds, cashews, walnuts, pecans)

More about Elite Road Warrior:

Road Warrior Assessment

Elite Road Warrior Book

Elite Road Warrior Store

Elite Road Warrior on YouTube

Eight Revealing Emotions I’m Experiencing Not Traveling At All

As business travelers are grounded, literally, it’s been weeks, now months since we’ve traveled due to the current health pandemic.

The reality is only knowing business travel most of my life, I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions not traveling at all. Many of those emotions on the same day.

I don’t claim to be a highly emotional or unstable guy – I’m high energy, but not all over the place emotionally.

If anything, for most of my life I didn’t show much emotion, and the result was passive-aggressive behavior that unintentionally affected those around me. It’s been an area of growth for me to handle my emotions in a healthy, mature way.

But if I were to open up the honesty vault, during my 1st couple of weeks of being off the road when this health pandemic began, I had bi-polar contrasting opinions and emotions.

With reflection, I’ve identified

Eight revealing emotions I’m experiencing not traveling at all

 

I challenge you to consider how many of these are true of you right now.

Emotion One – Confusion

My last trip was on March 10th. I had some meetings even though a big conference I was attending was canceled last minute. Little did I know that it would be my last trip in who knows how long.

Even then I was a little skeptical and had no clue what would transpire in the world of business travel let alone the world as a whole.

The next week I was left spending hours, then days canceling everything I knew was canceled, which meant flights, hotels, car rental, meetings, etc. I was also waiting and waiting to hear if my next trip was going to be postponed or canceled, so there was a degree of shrapnel I was dealing with.

 

Emotion Two – Disappointment

Then I moved from confusion into some real disappointment.

I was really looking forward to warm places during an extended gray, unpredictable winter in Chicago.

I always make it to Arizona in March to experience Chicago Cubs and White Sox spring training. This was the 1st time in eight years this didn’t happen.

I had a couple of big events in Las Vegas.

I was going to take my family with me on their spring break to the west side of Florida to thank them since Dad was gone a lot during Q1.

I had a trip to the Bay Area for a conference and training.

I was going to Dallas for a training and was so excited to see the brand new Globe Life Park, home of the Texas Rangers. I have to update my “been to every single baseball park to date that is current” streak.

And on and on and on.

Events, people, experiences, sites – all postponed or canceled.

Disappointment was and still is real in this business traveler.

 

Emotion Three – Relief

Once the Stay at Home Act hit Illinois (thanks to Chicago), I didn’t realize how tired I was of the grind of Road Life and I seek to become and remain an elite road warrior.

We aren’t rushing our kids all around town for basketball and volleyball practice. My early morning flights out and late flights in are not an issue.

Spring is finally showing up in Chicago and my kids can get outside.

I can help my wife with spring cleaning like never before in the Buck Fam house because I’m a captive audience. We’ve purged so much, someone driving by on garbage day asked if we were evicted.

But instead of staying in “relief mode”, the next emotion started kicking in and kicking me.

 

Emotion Four – Frustration

It was kinda nice not having the rapid pace our family often finds ourselves in.

But then I had to figure out how to work-from-home with everyone home all of the time.

Now, a little background. My wife is a school teacher and all of my kids are in school except my youngest who is four.

During the school year, I have my home office and the entire house to myself which is ideal. I can work but also help out around the house by taking a break and doing some laundry. I can also prepare dinner for the fam so they can come home and eat.

Then during summer, winter, and spring breaks, the Fam is home but I also have the ability to go and work somewhere else: Starbucks, the library, and often my local string of hotel lobbies (thank you Residence Inn, Hampton Inn, Hilton Garden Inn) or they can go out for a day at the park, the zoo or the pool and I can get the house back for long stretches of time to work.

This gives me some variety and allows me to make the best of working from home.

But always having interruptions, hearing voices (which I believe was only my family), all the time is frustrating.

 

Emotion Five – Exhaustion

I thought the road had its moments of exhaustion but who would’ve ever thought there’s another smaller pandemic called Zoom Fatigue?!

I recently read an article on Fast Company addressing Zoom Fatigue. Who knew that would become “a thing” but it’s real.

I’ve hit a different level of exhaustion due to:

  • Seeming to always be on the phone.
  • Zoom meeting after meeting with no breaks in between – which the author of the article called “Zero Break Schedule” – at least on the road I had drive time.
  • One Position for One Screen – let me quote the article: “Another reason that video calls can be exceptionally tiring is that you need to physically hold yourself in one position. In an in-person meeting, you’d likely shift from side to side, tilt back in your chair, swivel from looking one way to another depending on who is speaking, and lean over to take notes. Unfortunately in a video call, you’re stuck in one place trying to stay in the center of the screen, and moving in any other direction can cause your face to become awkwardly cropped.”
  • Interruptions that are seemingly quick and not bothersome, but I have found myself constantly trying to get back my train of thought or re-engage in the meeting.
  • And most importantly, an exhausted wife who is doing online learning with her grade school class, learning new technology, home-schooling the kids, and feeling like she’s on house arrest.

 

Emotion Six – Uncertainty

It’s hard not to get sucked in by the day-by-day updates on the news, articles being written, and the onslaught of social media.

How much longer?

What’s our plan?

How will my job, business travel, the world, look like post an unprecedented health pandemic?

All real concerns and ones that if not kept in moderation and perspective can lead to a whole other string of emotions like worry, fear, paralysis. Need I go on?

I’m a person of faith and this has been a real life challenge/opportunity to not allow uncertainty to steal my peace and my trust in God.

It’s brought our family closer together and strengthened our faith.

 

Emotion Seven – Curiosity

A mentor and friend of mine, Mike Kim, has this quote when challenging times confront us and here’s the quote: “What does this make possible?” or in other words: “What does being off the road for an extended period of time make possible?”

The longer I’ve been home I’ve tried to turn the uncertainty into curiosity.

How will companies handle this time with their business travelers on the ground to improve their road life so everybody can win?

How can I use this time wisely to have something to show for it other than relief it’s over?

And this has led into the 8th and final emotion I’m experiencing not traveling at all…

 

Emotion Eight – Motivation

Maybe it’s accepting the new normal right now.

Maybe it’s the weather finally warming up.

Possibly it’s my resilience and optimism coming through.

Probably a combination of all the above, but either way, I now only want to lightly experience any other of the eight emotions and spend my emotional energy on Motivation.

This will be a six-part series on how to leverage being home with the sole purpose of getting myself ready to get back to Road Life.

Are you in?

Emotions are real whether you choose to recognize them or not. We need to work through how they’re effecting our New Normal right now.

I encourage and challenge you to notice when these emotions come up and how you handle them.