Have You REALLY Accepted The Roles In Your Life?

Jeff is at the top of his game right now at work. He’s meeting his numbers and continues to climb the ladder. Yet his wife feels like he’s always working and a million miles away from her.

Samantha loves being home now that’s she’s transitioned from full-time to part-time. But she doesn’t feel like she’s doing anything well right now. Everything is just okay and she doesn’t like it.

Ken is traveling too much for work. His job is going great right now due to the travel and his wife is even okay with it. But his kids are struggling big time. They’re just used to Dad always being gone and it’s killing Ken.

Jennifer is a great wife and mother. She’s tuned into the needs of her family and loves it. But she’s detached from other family relationships. She rarely calls her sister and especially her mother anymore and they’re letting her know.

When someone plays a role in a movie or a play they’re a character that possesses certain attributes that makes them who they are. As their “role” unfolds, we have certain expectations about how they will respond.

It’s similar in life. Yet we play many roles in any given day and any given time due to our responsibilities.

But they’re complex and easy to get out of balance.

• Spouse
• Parent
• Son / Daughter
• Boss / Employee
• Friend

And on and on…

Yet rarely we think about the roles in our lives.

Why when they’re so important to create the relational fabric that make up who we are in our lives?

We need to recognize and evaluate our roles from time to time in the following ways.

Four Acceptances of the Roles in Your Life

1- Accept Balance Isn’t the End Game

Sometimes we have balance. Other times it’s a landslide one way.

But is the goal balance? Is balance the end game?

I would argue no.

Every role is not created equal.

Your role as a spouse and parent paramount compared to other roles and relationships that come and go or rank lower in priority and importance.

You can also have balance and be under-performing in almost every role. That’s not the end game.

The ultimate goal is that no area is suffering and ultimately striving for growth and health in each role in your life.

2. Accept Life Is About Seasons

Life is about seasons. It may be a work season. A new job. A new role. Growth in the business.

It may be a marriage season. New marriage. Renewed marriage. Moving into a new house or location.

And it may be a children season. New birth. Challenge with one of the kids.

Your current season may require more of you than normal and that’s okay. Just seek to not sacrifice every other role for the current season unless everyone else agrees.

Often we cannot control when the season comes especially if circumstances or someone else chose it for us.

It may require more of us than we’re ready and willing to provide. But growth comes from unexpected and difficult seasons that we wouldn’t have chosen but wouldn’t trade the lessons learned (growth) for anything.

The key is maximizing your needed role during this season of life because often that season comes and goes.

3. Accept Responsibility For The Roles You Play

Ah responsibility. It’s what we want everyone else to assume and we try to avoid. Imagine that.

But responsibility is necessary for roles to develop and flourish.

If a role has gone south and we’re to blame or a portion of it, we must assume responsibility.

It’s the minimum for change.

Yet some of our roles are suffering simply because we’re not taken responsibility for the relationship.

And it’s not an “all or nothing” approach to responsibility. Ironically, it rarely is all one-sided.

What if we owned our part in the relationship and sought to improve it in the smallest ways, we would be surprised at how quickly it will come back to life.

Accept responsibility on your side no matter what or how much it is and focus to grow your role.

4. Accept Awareness Is Necessary

It’s easy to just float through life one day at a time into one week, one month at a time. And nothing changes.

Awareness is recognizing the season, whether intentional or not, and determining if one role is being neglected.

Sadly, we’re not even aware that one role is being completely neglected and suffering until major focus and repair work needs to be done.

Think of the neglect of the role of a spouse or a parent. This didn’t happen over night nor will the repair be instant or even quick.

But having awareness that attention must be given is a huge step in the right direction. Stop the bleeding and begin to heal.

How much of life could be improved if we were simply aware of others in our lives.

Closing Challenge…

Roles are often easy to identify yet complex to change. But accepting the following is a great step in the process:

• Balance is not the end game
• Life is about seasons
• Responsibility for the roles you play
• Awareness is necessary

Motivated, busy professionals have a tendency to excel in one area (physically / professionally / personally) but neglect other areas. None more apparent and important as the roles we play in our lives.

I challenge you to really think through the roles in your life and grow in this area in the coming days and weeks.

Closing Question…

What role in your life needs increased attention right now?

Are You Into the Green and It’s Not What You Think?

This is a guest post from Kathy Fannon, a certified holistic health coach. She’s writing under Be Physically Better – Nutrition focus today.

You can learn more about Kathy at www.KathyFannon.com

Is your idea of eating leafy greens an iceberg lettuce salad with cucumber slices and a couple of tomatoes and croutons?

When you’re on the run you may be proud of this green donation to your diet, but you’re missing out on the many health benefits of eating real leafy greens, and green vegetables in general.

I’ve worked with clients who have had intestinal issues, joint pain and poor general health. By incorporating leafy greens (and other vegetables) into their diet the joint pain lessens, health improves, they become “regular” and have more energy to get them through their busy day.

Leafy greens are available at the farmers markets this time of year, which means they are in season! Leafy greens taste so much better when bought from a local farmer and eaten right away. They’re fresh, crisp and extra high in nutrient value!

If you’re not sure about some of the varieties farmers have, talk with them. They’re passionate about what they grow and are happy to share their knowledge with you.

If a farmer’s market is not on option for you, look around the produce section of your grocery store and choose greens you may not have tried before. Maybe you’ll hate it, or you may find a winner!

On the Road?

Don’t forget to look over menus and choose the darkest green vegetable you can find. It may be a challenge in certain places, but be mindful of what you’re choosing, always going for the healthiest option possible.

One suggestion. If you don’t see dark greens on the menu, ask your server. Often they have spinach leaves they can convert into a great custom salad or even sautéed spinach.

It’s worth asking. And sometimes the catered request often ends up better than the original menu. Your health is worth the question.

Leafy greens come in dozens of varieties, but the most popular are spinach, kale, Brussels sprouts, collard greens, beet greens, bok choy, many lettuce varieties (but not iceberg), arugula, swiss chard, cabbage, and even greens like broccoli, basil, cilantro and parsley.

Leafy greens are high in fiber, magnesium, folate, iron, calcium, and vitamins C and K.

Why is it so important to add leafy greens to your diet?

Health Benefits

 • Prevent Cancer (colon, breast, lung, stomach)

 • Prevent Stroke

 • Lower Cholesterol

 • Promote Bone Health

 • Lower Risk of Cardiovascular Disease

 • Reduce Type 2 Diabetes

 • Boost Immune System

 • Promote Vision Health (cataracts, macular degeneration)

 • Anti-Inflammatory

 • Prevent Irritable Bowl Syndrome

 • Hemorrhoids

Nutrition

As I compared nutrition facts for various leafy greens the common nutrients they are consistently high in, and varies by particular green, are:

 • Calcium

 • Magnesium

 • Potassium

 • Iron

 • Beta-carotene

 • Vitamin B complex

 • Vitamin C

 • Vitamin A

 • Vitamin K

Surprising Facts About Greens

 • 5 fresh basil leaves – 13% vitamin K

 • 2 tablespoons parsley – 4% vitamin C

 • 1/2 cup Brussels sprouts – 137% vitamin K, 81% vitamin C

 • 1 cup spinach – 181% vitamin K, 56% vitamin A

 • 1 cup kale – 206% vitamin A, 134% vitamin C

Wow! As you can see, it doesn’t take much to boost your health!

How to Easily Add Greens to Your Day:

• Eat a spring mix salad alongside your pizza

• Add sliced cabbage or sliced Brussels sprouts to an omelette

• Add pesto to a sandwich instead of mayonnaise

• Add fresh basil, oregano and parsley to your pasta or egg dishes

• Buy a bunch of parsley and add it to everything you make over the next few days

• Kale: stir-fries, burritos, soup, chili, eggs, pizza, kale chips

• Brussel Sprouts: roasted or stir-fried with onions, carrots or other vegetables of choice

• Spinach: sandwiches, soup, eggs, baked potatoes, lasagna, meatballs, pizza, macaroni and cheese

See some greens recipes I pinned on my Pinterest board – Salads: The Health Nut’s Casserole for great salad ideas!

One suggestion to start your day with GREENS

Sauté spinach along with your breakfast. Sauté in coconut or olive oil for about one minute, no longer than the time it takes to scramble an egg. (Or scramble into your egg!) It’s an easy way to start your day with greens.

Look for spinach (or kale) in bags, washed and ready to go, at the grocery store.

You may also enjoy

Southwestern Chopped Salad with Cilantro-Lime Dressing

Green Salad

Chopped Salad

Closing Challenge…

Busy professionals need to look for convenient, yet effective ways, to add positive improvements to their nutrition.

We need to remember to do what is best for our bodies, and that may include eating a food we don’t love just because it’s good for us.

Get creative with how it’s prepared so you don’t miss out on great health!

Closing Question…

How do you plan to integrate some leafy greens (or just green vegetables) into your diet?

Four Life Lessons My Kids Taught Me On Vacation

I just spent a week with my wife and four children flying from Chicago to Florida then visiting a number of cities.

Six personalities. Six preferences. And Six expectations.

Kids are amazing. In a matter of moments they can teach you something about yourself without even trying.

Sometimes it catches you off guard and other times it creates a defensiveness because of what it exposes in ourselves.

Here are Four Life Lessons My Kids Taught Me On Vacation:

1. Their Fun Is More Important Than My Agenda

I’m a planner by nature. I chose the flight time, hotels, locations, everything. Since I travel an absolute ton, it’s just easier to start.

The problem becomes when I’m not willing to deviate from my carefully planned agenda since I’m the assumed travel expert.

One night we stayed at a hotel that had a great pool. The kids absolutely loved it and it was just what we needed after a long day and it was the perfect night.

It meant going to bed later than the schedule and a later start in the morning but they were having so much fun.

The first impulse was “I know best and stay on schedule.” But I decided it was best to let everyone just play and enjoy themselves. (you know, like we were on vacation!)

This meant being willing to change the evening agenda and getting “off schedule” and a later start the next morning.

But it was SO worth it in the long run.

Life Lesson Learned – plans need to be flexible

2. Their Attention Is More Important Than My Personal Time

This is easier said than done especially when you’re fresh after a night of rest. It’s an admirable goal. But in reality…

For example, on the flight I just wanted to watch a movie on my iPad. Other times I just wanted to read in the morning.

I struggle in this area when I just want a few minutes to myself during the day. I can be difficult and this is an area of growth for me.

If it wasn’t one child, it was another. And of course, right after I put my headphones back on or found my place again in the book.

Yet what seemed like an interruption was actually an opportunity to interact with one of my kids in the moment.

At the moment it was a challenge to remind me that this trip was about them not me. And this meant any time to myself (which was few and far between) was actually a blessing but not necessary.

I also wanted to give my wife a break. This resulted in letting her workout in the morning while I hung out with the kids and not always doing what I would’ve preferred to do (read or write).

This meant less me and more we time. And something I cannot undo so I’m glad I changed my attitude.

Life Lesson Learned – their attention is what I really want

3. Their Opinion Matters More Than My Presumed Wisdom

Even though I feel I may know best being an experienced traveler, I found myself listening to what they were saying.

This meant setting my opinion aside and hearing their request. They think differently with being kids and something see things in a fresh way.

One day we had a chance to choose where we were going to spend the night. I use hotels.com and have a ton of choices and free nights. So, I decided to let my older boys look at the pictures and determine their preference.

They absolutely loved I asked their opinion and let them choose the location. It led to a great hotel and experience.

Sometimes I just needed to ask their opinion and really listen to their suggestions. It may not be my preference but I wanted them to know their opinion is important to me.

Life Lesson Learned – their ideas are just as important and possibly better

4. Their Experience Is Worth My Sacrifice

In the end, I wanted to create memories for my family. Part of this for me is really thinking through the trip in advance. My planning would enhance their experience.

But even then I would factor in my own experience and justify it that everyone else would appreciate and enjoy it.

Since we had a lot of free time throughout the week, it left margin to really allow them to breathe into the schedule of what they would enjoy.

One day it meant driving extra so my older sons to see the Miami Heat arena and shop in their store (this was a sacrifice since I’m a HUGE Bulls fan and loath the Heat). It was something they really wanted to do and looked forward to it all week.

Each night before bed I would ask each child this question: “what did you enjoy most about today?” And this answer almost always surprised me.

The very thing I would’ve thought they enjoyed the most was often #2 or lower on the list.

Life Lesson Learned – their perception of the experience is the most important

Closing Challenge…

This was the first vacation that had this much margin in the schedule. It also gave me an opportunity to really spend more time with each child and hear what they wanted to do.

It meant playing when I wanted to relax more but those times were the moments that my kids will remember the most. I found that my reading time or the extra workout could wait.

There were still regrets that I wish I could go back for a do-over. But it was definitely a growth trip for me personally. I will do our vacations differently from now on as a result of these four life lessons my kids taught me on vacation.

Closing Question…

How can you implement any of these life lessons into your next vacation?

How To Be In Great Shape In Six Months

Jason just cannot get any momentum with his workouts. Every day and week and month are exactly the same.

And so are his results. Nothing changes.

He would like to say he looks and feels the same as a few months ago but the reality he’s in a little worse shape and doesn’t feel as good about himself. He was stuck in a rut.

Then he decided to make one specific change by asking this question:

What shape do I want to be in six months from now?

He really thought about this question and gave it a serious answer.

Jason realized six months will come and go anyway so why not put a focused effort on this period of time to see some positive results.

He knew that in six months, if things continued to go the same, he would probably weigh a little more and feel just a little worse. And he was determined to make a change.

Have you ever been there? Where you simply had enough and ready for things to change?

There are Four Steps to Getting in Great Shape in Six Months

Step 1 – Picture the End Result

Jason had a mental image of his physical goal. He wanted to drop 20 pounds and actually see some definition in his body.

He had watched so many “transformational infomercials” that he thought “if they can do it, why can’t I do it too?”

He saw many people in his physical condition (and many even worse) and had in mind exactly what he wanted to look like six months from now.

Once he had this mental image of what shape he wanted to be in (other than pear-shaped), he was ready for the next step in the process. He was now motivated.

Step 2 – Realize the Importance of Nutrition

Next Jason had to accept that whatever he did with fitness would not stand alone. His food habits would need to change.

There was a direct correlation between Nutrition and Fitness. He knew it and now needed to accept and embrace it if he wanted to truly change in six months.

In the back of his mind he knew that between his lazy workouts and poor eating habits, there was absolutely no surprise of why he looked and felt the way he did right now.

Jason didn’t need a nutritionist to whip him into marathon shape. He just had to open his fridge and cupboards and begin to have a sense of the obvious of what needed to be thrown out and avoided.

He then followed the nutrition guide of this workout program which gave him everything from what not to eat to what to eat and even a detailed nutrition plan he could follow day by day and meal by meal.

He just needed to realize and accept this would be a partnership between nutrition and fitness.

Step 3 – Have a Clear and Focused Plan

Jason knew he couldn’t go into this goal with squishy ideas and come out with strong results. He needed a plan.

He chose to purchase a home workout DVD program for his fitness plan. It was 90 days and perfect for his six months to be in shape goal. (for ideas, check out P90X3 / Body Beast / Insanity Max:30 / Les Mills Combat)

He also needed to make a very important decision: would he take small steps to ramp up or would he just dive right in?

He knew himself well enough to know that it would take him a week or so to psych himself up to really stick with the program.

If he dove right in, he would be sore for a week, hit the fridge in the middle of the night, and be so discouraged he would quit.

So, he decided if would take exactly one week to begin tweaking his diet and doing a few minutes of the workout routine that would prep him for the “official big starting day.”

He had a plan and was going to go in “eyes wide open” and not turning back.

Step 4 – Measure Your Results

Jason wanted and even needed to see results to keep going.

But he was also realistic that it took him years to deteriorate so he wouldn’t see instant results in days or even a week or two.

This was important for him to accept so he set his expectations accordingly. He knew he would “feel better” before he “looked better.”

He also knew that his weight was an arbitrary number and how he looked and felt was more important than ultimately what he weighed.

So, once a week, he would weigh himself then take a picture of his progress. He knew that seeing his body all of the time he wouldn’t necessarily see the changes over time.

But a picture would be the steady proof week after week after week to show him the results he so desired.

And to his surprise, seeing the results only committed him all the more to his transformation!

Closing Challenge…

Jason’s story isn’t finished yet. But he’s working his plan. He’s following the steps of picturing the end result, realizing the importance of nutrition, has a clear and focused plan that he’s working, and he’s measuring his results.

Motivated, busy professionals need goals. But we also need to be challenged. We don’t want to be just like everyone else and definitely not worse! We may be killing it professionally and getting killed physically. Is that you?

So, here’s your challenge. Can you become Jason? When you just read his story, did something inside of you want to change?

You can do exactly what Jason is doing. He’s just a little ahead of you and could serve as your guide on how to be in great shape just six months from now.

Remember, six months will come and go no matter what you choose. Why not look and feel like you know you need and want to in your life? You can do it!

Closing Question…

What will you look like six months from now? Exactly the same, a little worse, or will you be in great shape?