Have You REALLY Accepted The Roles In Your Life?

Jeff is at the top of his game right now at work. He’s meeting his numbers and continues to climb the ladder. Yet his wife feels like he’s always working and a million miles away from her.

Samantha loves being home now that’s she’s transitioned from full-time to part-time. But she doesn’t feel like she’s doing anything well right now. Everything is just okay and she doesn’t like it.

Ken is traveling too much for work. His job is going great right now due to the travel and his wife is even okay with it. But his kids are struggling big time. They’re just used to Dad always being gone and it’s killing Ken.

Jennifer is a great wife and mother. She’s tuned into the needs of her family and loves it. But she’s detached from other family relationships. She rarely calls her sister and especially her mother anymore and they’re letting her know.

When someone plays a role in a movie or a play they’re a character that possesses certain attributes that makes them who they are. As their “role” unfolds, we have certain expectations about how they will respond.

It’s similar in life. Yet we play many roles in any given day and any given time due to our responsibilities.

But they’re complex and easy to get out of balance.

• Spouse
• Parent
• Son / Daughter
• Boss / Employee
• Friend

And on and on…

Yet rarely we think about the roles in our lives.

Why when they’re so important to create the relational fabric that make up who we are in our lives?

We need to recognize and evaluate our roles from time to time in the following ways.

Four Acceptances of the Roles in Your Life

1- Accept Balance Isn’t the End Game

Sometimes we have balance. Other times it’s a landslide one way.

But is the goal balance? Is balance the end game?

I would argue no.

Every role is not created equal.

Your role as a spouse and parent paramount compared to other roles and relationships that come and go or rank lower in priority and importance.

You can also have balance and be under-performing in almost every role. That’s not the end game.

The ultimate goal is that no area is suffering and ultimately striving for growth and health in each role in your life.

2. Accept Life Is About Seasons

Life is about seasons. It may be a work season. A new job. A new role. Growth in the business.

It may be a marriage season. New marriage. Renewed marriage. Moving into a new house or location.

And it may be a children season. New birth. Challenge with one of the kids.

Your current season may require more of you than normal and that’s okay. Just seek to not sacrifice every other role for the current season unless everyone else agrees.

Often we cannot control when the season comes especially if circumstances or someone else chose it for us.

It may require more of us than we’re ready and willing to provide. But growth comes from unexpected and difficult seasons that we wouldn’t have chosen but wouldn’t trade the lessons learned (growth) for anything.

The key is maximizing your needed role during this season of life because often that season comes and goes.

3. Accept Responsibility For The Roles You Play

Ah responsibility. It’s what we want everyone else to assume and we try to avoid. Imagine that.

But responsibility is necessary for roles to develop and flourish.

If a role has gone south and we’re to blame or a portion of it, we must assume responsibility.

It’s the minimum for change.

Yet some of our roles are suffering simply because we’re not taken responsibility for the relationship.

And it’s not an “all or nothing” approach to responsibility. Ironically, it rarely is all one-sided.

What if we owned our part in the relationship and sought to improve it in the smallest ways, we would be surprised at how quickly it will come back to life.

Accept responsibility on your side no matter what or how much it is and focus to grow your role.

4. Accept Awareness Is Necessary

It’s easy to just float through life one day at a time into one week, one month at a time. And nothing changes.

Awareness is recognizing the season, whether intentional or not, and determining if one role is being neglected.

Sadly, we’re not even aware that one role is being completely neglected and suffering until major focus and repair work needs to be done.

Think of the neglect of the role of a spouse or a parent. This didn’t happen over night nor will the repair be instant or even quick.

But having awareness that attention must be given is a huge step in the right direction. Stop the bleeding and begin to heal.

How much of life could be improved if we were simply aware of others in our lives.

Closing Challenge…

Roles are often easy to identify yet complex to change. But accepting the following is a great step in the process:

• Balance is not the end game
• Life is about seasons
• Responsibility for the roles you play
• Awareness is necessary

Motivated, busy professionals have a tendency to excel in one area (physically / professionally / personally) but neglect other areas. None more apparent and important as the roles we play in our lives.

I challenge you to really think through the roles in your life and grow in this area in the coming days and weeks.

Closing Question…

What role in your life needs increased attention right now?