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Why Meditation Didn’t Work for Me on the Road

I’m at a place where I don’t just get by on the road, I’m always seeking to get better while leveraging the road to do it.

But even though I’m an optimist, I’m also a skeptic on sadly too many things that can actually be transferred to Road Life. Now, I’m not Donny Downer (Debbie Downer’s older brother version) but certain things raise my Skeptic Radar.

One no greater than the practice of Meditation.

Why Meditation Didn’t Work for Me on the Road

I grew up in a very very strict religious home and even though my parents were people filled with grace and acceptance, my environment was not – at – all.

My assumption is that this is where my judgmental, skeptical, even cynical side can rear its ugly head if I’m not careful. To be clear, I detest this side of me and have to watch for it with hopes I catch it before it infects someone else.

I’ve had a lot of life happen since that point, but knowing this about myself has put perspective and grace into my life big time.

Before I understood anything about meditation, I just assumed I knew what it was and how it worked. It had something to do with Buddhism which is not the Christian God so I immediately dismissed it.

Prayer was all I needed. But was it really a replacement for prayer?

Not at all – naive, assumptive, and just plain ignorant.

Then I thought you had to be in a certain “HMMMMMM Pose” sitting in the Lotus Position for hours at a time and somehow tied to Yoga or silent trips at a monastery.

I know, I didn’t know what I was talking about. Clearly.

Once I started reading and hearing so much about the benefits of meditation I was more accepting of the idea but still nowhere close to trying it.

Here were my Excuses:
1. It’s a waste of time – what benefits does it REALLY give to me?
2. I don’t have time for this – I barely have time for the important things on a business travel day, how do I have time for meditation?
3. I can’t do this – the only letters behind my name are not MD or PHD but ADHD – not a chance I can calm this brain so why even try?
4. It’s self-indulgent – IF I have a few minutes to myself, seems a little selfish to spend it on meditating…

Then one day on one of my Downtime practices (remember, downtime is part of Energy Habit #3: REST. Downtime is defined as Time to BE, NOT to be on).

I was doing my Road Thing of Barnes-N-Noble and I came across a title that just jumped out at me:

Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics.

Out of complete curiosity, I picked up the book from Dan Harris and the intro hooked me:

“If you had told me as recently as a few years ago that I would someday become the traveling evangelist for meditation, I would have coughed beer up through my nose.

In 2004, I had a panic attack while delivering the news, like, on ABC’s Good Morning America. Being a masochist, I asked our research department to tell me exactly how many people were watching. They came back with… 5.019 (pause) million.

In the wake of my nationally televised freakout, I learned something even more embarrassing – this entire episode had been caused by my stupid behavior in my personal life.

You can watch his response to this attack here.

I was fidgety and a skeptic and the excuses of why I was not doing or even willing to try meditation were listed in the table of contents.

Even after reading many pages and given opportunities to “try a short meditation”, I have to be honest, I didn’t do it. I just kept reading the book.

Then I picked up the audiobook so I could consume the content quicker (which I have a habit of doing). In the audio version, I was actually walked through what is called a Guided Meditation and I finally gave it a shot.

The biggest aha moment I learned was I had the goal of meditation completely wrong.

I thought it was to clear your mind and if you only knew what goes on in my mind, that sure wasn’t going to happen!

The goal of meditation is not to clear your mind but to focus your mind – for a few seconds then whenever you become distracted, just start again. Getting lost and starting over is not failing at meditation, it is succeeding.

Did you catch that?

This was a game-changer for me. I wanted to be more focused and if this couple-minute practice could help, I should consider giving it a real shot.

Do you know why meditation didn’t work for me on the road at first?

I didn’t understand it and what I don’t understand, I avoid, then discount, and all too often, dismiss and mock.

But that doesn’t make me right or the practice of meditation wrong.

It just makes me stubborn, close-minded, and not willing to experiment in something that could actually help me.

So, how did I eventually make meditation work on the road for me?

And with any new practice, you must experiment.

I love how Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky in the book, Make Time call meditation “just a breather for the brain.”

They say “for human beings, thinking is the default position. Most of the time this is a good thing. But constant thinking means your brain never gets rest. When you meditate, instead of possibly going along with the thoughts, you stay quiet and NOTICE the thoughts, and that slows them down and gives your brain a break.”

But meditation is also an exercise for the brain. Staying quiet and noticing your thoughts is refreshing but also hard work.

I wanted and even needed to become aware of certain thoughts and behaviors of mine on the road that meditation could potentially reveal:

  • Tension from stress
  • Restlessness
  • Randomness
  • Distraction
  • Sometimes I just need to be made aware of what’s going on in my mind and body (without being told by someone else)

These were instant wins for me with meditation.

I didn’t have to go to some silent retreat center, give up a full or half-day, or even sit in the lotus position humming MMMMMM……

Here was my insight:
I underestimated the power of just slowing down and concentrating on my breathing and focusing my mind not trying to clear it of all thoughts.

So, let’s get practical and personal….

Here are questions I’ve received on how I now meditate on business travel:

Where I meditate on the road:

Travel Day:

  • Drive to airport
  • Delays
  • On the flight
  • Before bed

Normal Road Day:

  • Part of my Energy Hour
  • Drive to a meeting
  • Before connecting with the family

How long I meditate on the road: 1 to 10 minutes

Not impressive and maybe a little embarrassing.

But sometimes I’ll do it 2 or 3 times a day.

My purpose at this point is to Focus my Mind and get a hold of what’s going on in my head and body.

Here’s how to implement meditation on the road (kudos from the Make Time book)

1. Start with a Guided Meditation App

Recommended:

1. Headspace
2. Calm
3. The Mindfulness App
4. Buddhify
5. Sattva
6. Stop, Breathe & Think
7. Insight Timer
8. Breethe
9. Omvana
10. Simple Habit
11. Meditation and Relaxation Pro
12. Aura

2. Aim LOW (start with 1-3 min) I often land in the 5-10 min range on the road.

3. No Lotus Position Required – My key was learning how to meditate wherever I was – driving / walking / during stress or anxiety / before bed

4. If the word MEDITATION freaks or creeps you out, change it!

5. Give this a REAL SHOT – it took me many weeks to find my groove meaning what app I liked / how long / adding in change of locations / even remembering to do it!

6. FOCUS is the key – focus on your breathing, focus on the road in front of you, focus on the sounds around you, focus on the scents – the key is focusing your mind for a string of consecutive seconds

My GoTo App: 10% Happier

Key Links for Reviews on Recommended Apps:

https://www.prevention.com/health/g27241883/best-meditation-apps/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/top-meditation-iphone-android-apps#meditation-amp;-relaxation-pro

https://blog.bulletproof.com/best-meditation-apps/

https://mellowed.com/best-meditation-apps/

https://wa-health.kaiserpermanente.org/best-meditation-apps/

 

 

So, why did meditation not work for me on the road at first?

I didn’t really understand it and give it a real shot.

But that’s NOT the mindset of an Elite Road Warrior who experiments – Choose / Try / Evaluate / Adjust and this process is necessary to make meditation work, especially on the road

So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life.

Go and get your Meditation Groove on. You Got This!

HMMMMMM……

 

How I Shocked My Wife with the Not Forgotten Journal

How I Shocked My Wife with the Not Forgotten Journal

One of the hardest things about the road for me personally is the loss of time and connection with the love of life, my wife Susan.

We enjoy being around each other – from playing sports to going for a walk and just talking and laughing.

The road steals that from us and cannot ever give it back.

It’s a reality she’s accepted through the years but it didn’t come easy. My contact with her on the road was as absent as my presence. I was lousy at it for a long time. I’m just being vulnerable here.

In my role as a business travel performance expert, I hear the good, the bad, the ugly, and the brutal unfiltered truth.

Too many men have wrecked their marriages and heck, most of their relationships as a result of the road.

Too many women are not only burned out by the road, but also by additionally taking care of home life back home before they leave, while they’re gone, and picking up any collateral damage when coming home.

I have nothing but the highest respect for traveling mothers – truly unsung heroes.

I’ve had my share of senseless and needless fights before leaving. In my interview with Megan Bearce in my podcast episode #024 she says “it’s easier to leave mad than sad.”

My biggest blowout came not from an argument, but by a hurtful thing I did, or in this case, did NOT do coming home from a trip.

Here’s the backstory for context…

I was coming off a brutal stretch including international travel and back-to-back trade shows where I was up early for C-suite breakfast meetings and had late evenings for corporate parties and customer dinners. My wife and I were basically competing by text who was more tired. She was raising my kids as a single mom in my absence, which remember, was a brutal stretch.

When I came around the corner and pulled into my driveway, I only saw my wife’s arms and my youngest child at the time as a one-year-old as the “Running Man Baby.”

I’d like to say that I grabbed my baby,  kissed my wife, embraced my kids,  and gave my wife the night off for me to clean the house and take care of the kids.

But what I did… walked right by my beautiful and exhausted wife, heard my kids say “Daddy’s home!” and all I said was an agitated, “Daddy’s tired,” and went to lay down on the couch in the family room. Who does that? I woke up to a beautifully angry wife who had tears in her eyes and let me know with a soft, strong tone: “Something needs to change.”

I realized I had become a Check-In Guy. My family always had to adjust to my exhaustion and my check-in schedule when I was on the road. I had become “That Guy” I swore I’d never become as a husband, father, and even friend. This became my “Wake-up Call” that didn’t come from a hotel but a call that was the result of my unawareness and selfishness.

I still had a choice – I could heed the call or ignore the call.

Too many business travelers not only ignore the call, they minimize the call, justify their actions with the call and go on to do their business (travel that is) as usual.

I knew I needed to change and it was the start of the Six Energy Habit – Connect.

This change didn’t happen overnight – or over one business trip, but a series of months.

It took what I learned as the three elements of Connect:
1. Connect Intentionally – on purpose
2. Connect Thoughtfully – reflective
3. Connect Creatively – memorable

To be honest, I found it easier to begin to do some creative things for my kids – I have a creative side so this was an easy and quick win for me. But I had a ton of ground to make up for with my wife and just didn’t know what to do that could “Move the Relational Needle” with the amount of neglect I had done.

I had created so much distance while I was gone, and then so much tension when I came home – I had such high and unrealistic expectations on the house being clean, everyone adjusting their schedule to dad’s exhaustion or work that still needed to be done. Instead of helping I was criticizing and critiquing – this is coming from the guy who was gone most of the week to a functioning single mom when I was gone.

Can you see the pain that I caused?

I desperately needed to find something meaningful for my wife – something that showed her that she was not forgotten while I was on the road – that I thought of, loved, missed, needed, and deeply appreciated her.

One day for one of my road downtime activities, I was in a Barnes-n-Noble looking at books, and I noticed the Journal section. In my curiosity, I saw one that was really cool and thought I’d get it and figure out what to do with it at some point.

I knew I could use it for my wife in some intentional, thoughtful, and creative way. I was on a flight doing what I call Think Space, dedicated time to process my thoughts. I decided I would figure out a way to utilize this beautiful journal.

Then it hit me – what if I wrote something, anything in this journal every day I was on the road to let her know she was not forgotten.

And there the idea for the  NFJ (Not Forgotten Journal) was born.

What I did:

  1. Reserved a couple of minutes every day on the road to write in the journal
  2. Planned ahead – I used Think Space for ideas on what to write
  3. Chose one of the following to write about:
  • Memory – funny / serious – song, scent, location, picture, food
  • Encouragement
  • Inspiration
  • Appreciation
  • Feeling – missing home, lonely

Full Disclosure – the journal I chose had a TON of pages in it which felt like it was never going to end

The response – I finished it on June 21st and gave it to my wife the very next day.

Lessons Learned

  1. You don’t have to wait until you blow it. You should do something now
  2. It was harder and easier than I thought – harder because I put a lot of pressure on myself and it was a super big journal, and easier because it only took a couple of minutes per road day
  3. When I couldn’t think of what to say/write, I looked at a picture of my wife and asked myself “what would she need to hear from me?
  4. Having ideas to stimulate the creativity was huge – I needed the primer for the days I was in a hurry or just not feeling creative
  5. This was not about me – so when I didn’t feel like it, I had to remind myself “this is for her, not me, and I cannot wait for her to read this page.”

Suggested Next Steps

  1. Experiment with the NFJ concept – what would this look like for you to apply and work in your situation
  2. Buy a NFJ journal
  3. Keep it a secret – take the pressure off of yourself

 

This isn’t going to be a quick win overnight. But I challenge you to consider upping your connect game on the road and giving the NFJ a real shot.

Hopefully hearing the NFJ story between me and my wife inspired you.

You can do this too!

So, wherever you are, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life.

 

10 Most Often Asked Questions Asked of Me About Road Life

One of my favorite parts of being a business travel performance expert is receiving so many questions whether through surveys, assessment, research projects, emails, or just plain conversation on a flight or at a hotel bar.

Recently, I spoke at a consulting firm and was flooded with GREAT questions from high-performing road warrior consultants who wanted to not get by on the road but get better and leverage the road to do it.

As a result, I’ve chosen ten of the most often asked questions for this article.

10 Most Often Asked Questions Asked of Me About Road Life

This 1st question is by far the most asked question but it’s also the one that gets the most pushback.

1 – How do you eat healthy on the road?

I failed miserably at this for easily the first half of my road career which has been too many years.

I viewed my business trip as a vacation when I ate, not a vocation. My filter was, “oh, that looks good!” I could spend more on an appetizer or dessert or glass of wine than I would on my entire meal with my own money.

The result? Ballooning to over 40 pounds overweight due to business travel. I hated how I looked in that blasted hotel mirror and felt lousy.

Then I came to the point where my perspective on food changed. I wanted energy on the road to be my best and Food is Fuel and Fuel is Energy.

I embraced four letters – MTHC (Make the Healthiest Choice)

And part of MTHC is three parts:
1. Continually Hydrate – I have an Elite Road Warrior water bottle and drink a ton of water ALL DAY LONG
2. Clean and Green – every meal is the cleanest I can eat and I add as many greens as I can
3. Carry a Controlled Substance – I carry a snack bag with Tupperware that has healthy snacks so I’m never caught off guard and always have an energy kick available

I have choices of what I put in my mouth and need to consciously choose how I feel after whatever I’m about to eat.

I favor hotels with full kitchens, shop at Whole Foods and/or Trader Joes whenever possible, and request eating someplace “Clean and Green” when going out with others.

I recently even did hard-core Keto30 on the road which you can listen to on episode 25 of the podcast.

Key phrase: MTHC (Make the Healthiest Choice)

2 – How do you workout on the road?

Time is your biggest enemy on the road.

I believed the lie “if I can’t get in a full workout, what’s the point?” – Lies, nothing but lies!

I had to change my mindset to “Something, Anything is Better Than Nothing.”

Sometimes my 20-minute workout is better than an hour.

Sometimes, going 10 minutes hard in my hotel room with bodyweight and resistance bands is more than enough.

“But I’m too tired to workout” – lies, nothing but lies.

Movement creates energy.

How many times have you worked out in the morning after dragging yourself out of bed and by the end of the workout, you were ready to conquer your day?! That’s me – every… single… time.

I learned the Increase M4X Formula
1. Stand More – think up on your feet, not down on your butt
2. Walk More – think forward, not still
3. Run More – think cardio, get your heart rate up
4. Lift More – think strength training

How I…

  • Stand More – stand at the gate / every 30 min on a flight / in meetings whenever possible / create stand up desks at the hotel (lobby or room)
  • Walk More – park at the back of a parking lot / choose a higher floor at the hotel / take the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator or walk the escalator
  • Run More – do HIIT that gets my heart rate up – jog to run / burpees / stairs quickly
  • Lift More – bodyweight / dumbbells / resistance bands

Key phrase: Something, Anything is Better Than Nothing

3 – How do you get a better night of sleep on the road?

Ah, sleep, the ultimate waste of time on the road, right? How can you get anything done if you’re in a coma?

I used to view sleep as a “necessary evil”

I had to learn to make the sleep I was getting, which was 6 hours or less, better before I started to add any more sleep because it wouldn’t be quality sleep.

1. Prioritize Bed Time
2. Create a Bed Time Ritual
3. Create an Ideal Sleep Environment

For me…

Bed Time Priority always depended on the type of my trip – was I by myself or with others? Was I doing training, speaking, and workshops, or at a conference or trade show? Once I knew, then I could realistically prioritize bedtime. That may mean leaving the event or bar earlier but nobody really cared the next morning. Regardless, getting to bed with the foresight of what time I needed to get up was a priority.

My Bed Time Ritual:

  • Drop the Lights
  • Drop the Temperature
  • Change the Room Scent
  • Comfy Clothes – under armor shorts / Hurley soft t-shirt or Dep Sleepwear
  • Read
  • Guided Meditation

Ideal Sleep Environment:

  • Cool
  • Dark and I mean dark – towel over door crack/clip to keep the curtains shut
  • Bose Sleep Buds

Key Phrase –“Improve Before Increase”

 

4 – What is your morning routine?

It has definitely evolved over time. In fact, I have an entire podcast episode on the First Hour of Your Road Day called the Energy Hour

My routine used to be checking social media, sports scores, texts, and emails while still in bed!

Once I opened up any of those, they owned my day and I rarely turned it around.

So, I needed to make sure I took care of ME first before everyone else’s agenda.

And what took care of me?

Four of the six energy habits:

1. Develop
2. Move
3. Connect
4. Fuel – continually hydrate

My exact morning routine:

  • Hydrate – my drink
  • Develop – read my Bible / read something inspirational / pray and meditate
  • Move – workout
  • Connect with the Fam – I want them to hear from me first thing in the morning and I’ll talk about how in Q5

Key Phrase – “Hit the Four Before the Door”

5 – How do you stay connected with those you love back home?

This was an area where I was what you call, a Check-In Guy for WAY too long.

I just “checked in” when it was convenient for me with no regard to what was going on back home in the life of my wife and kids. It was selfish to be honest as I look back on it.

Staying connected, especially if you’ve been traveling for any length of time, can, well, get old and stale. And for me, I wasn’t checking in enough and it really affected my family and friends back home.

Eventually, I leveraged my creative side to “spice things up” to re-connect with everyone to become a Connect-In Guy.

It’s done in three ways:

  • Connect Intentionally
  • Connect Thoughtfully
  • Connect Creatively – be memorable

How I Connect Now:

Key Phrase -“Be a Connect-In Guy or Girl, not a Check-in Guy or Girl”

The next five questions are more vulnerable.

I’ve not arrived as you’ll hear in the following answers. But I truly desire to transform my work, health, and home life on the road to master the business travel life.

 

6 – What took you the longest to change and why?

Learning how to rest and pace myself on the road. I’ve always been a hard-driver, Type-A, energy guy.

If you’ve not heard my back story, which you can listen to on the podcast in episode 002, I went so hard for so long, my body shut down to the point of complete exhaustion and I became very, very sick. It took months and months to recover and I had to learn to change my ways if I was going back to Road Life.

I had to prioritize three areas:

  • Sleep – improve then increase
  • Breaks – move the body, rest the mind
  • Downtime – time to be, not to be on

There was time for breaks and downtime – I just needed to take them and make them a priority – the payoff was beyond worth it.

I also had to learn to ask:

  • When is my energy the highest each day on the road?
  • Why is my energy low right now?
  • Is there anything I can do to change my energy level?
  • Can I match my energy with my tasks?

I had to become what I call an Energyologist (a Buckleyism) – the personal study of your own energy

Key Takeaway – You can have more energy on the road

 

7 – What do you regret the most on the road?

The answer is found in Energy Habit Six – Connect.

I regret not making my family a bigger priority especially when I first started traveling. I created some very bad habits in three areas:

  • How I left – abrupt and not sensitive especially to my kids’ feelings
  • When I was gone – When and how I contacted anyone back home revolved only around me and my schedule
  • How I returned – I was always exhausted when I came home and it was always about me. I demanded the house be in perfect condition and life revolved around me. I wanted to be left alone to “transition back into civilian life” yet I was angry when everyone went on with their lives.

My family hung in there but I had done some damage that took years to repair and I regret it. Thankfully I was able to turn it around and it’s become one of my strengths.

Learn from my costly mistakes.

Key Takeaway – Prioritize Others Just as Much

 

8 – What do I still struggle with on the road?

Drinking too often and too much.

I don’t get drunk on the road or take it too far. I learned very early in my career to never “be that guy” but only see or hear about “that guy”.

I love good wine and craft beer but have learned to minimize it big time especially doing Keto on the road.

I’m a Vodka Tonic guy and too easily justify a drink or three (always a double) after a long day, customer dinner, or event.

Doing Keto30 of absolutely no drinking was a very good thing for me along with not drinking on any weeknights when I’m home.

This is a struggle and growth area for me.

My biggest change has been adding one glass of water with every alcoholic drink. I call it the 1:1 Water Match Program – and it’s absolutely free to join

Key Takeaway – Make Sure You’re In Control

 

9 – How do you handle it when you blow it on the road?

I’ve adopted the James Clear concept called “Avoid the 2nd Mistake” – If I have a bad meal, I don’t justify the day or even the rest of the business trip.

If I don’t work out the 1st day, it’s not a free pass for the rest of the trip.

If you watch baseball, the best closers have the essence of short-term memory. If they blow last night’s game, they need to come back out the next night like it never happened and “begin again.”

Depending on what “blowing it” was for me, in the early days there was some regret and guilt. I had a couple of close friends I could tell “the real story” for some confession and accountability. I wanted to monitor the heart.

Another phrase I use that is helpful to me is “Dip NOT Dive” – when I go “off-road” as I call it from the 6 Energy Habits, I need this to be a quick dip and get right back to what allows me to master the business travel life and avoid the downward spiral and the 2nd mistake.

Learn from it and move on.

Key Takeaway – Avoid the 2nd Mistake

 

10- What advice would you give for a newer business traveler?

  • Learn and apply the Six Energy Habits immediately in your Road Career.
  • If you have bad habits at home, road life will only expose them.
  • Don’t worry about “what everyone else does or says”, you take care of yourself first and foremost.

Learn from my mistakes and others. You don’t have to do it the hard way with a brutal crashing and burning, 40 pounds overweight, burned out, stressed out, and disconnected from family and friends.

Key Takeaway – Own the Six Energy Habits right now!

 

I hope these questions and answers were helpful. They’ve been asked by a number of people, so here it was:
* The good
* The bad
* The ugly

I hope you gained some ideas and appreciated my honesty with the goal of helping you become an Elite Road Warrior.

If you want any more detail or further examples, you can find them in my book, ERW – 6EH to Master the Business Travel Life. It’s available on Amazon in the print version, Kindle digital version, and also on audiobook via Audible.

So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life. You Got This!

How to Deal with “IT” When “IT” Happens on the Road

So, it was 2:15 am, and I was stuck outside my own house pounding on the door because my wife had locked the screen door and I was home early from a brutal three days of travel that felt like three weeks.

Ever had that trip?

Let me start from the beginning.

I had a big meeting in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. It was one of those locations where I waffled between driving or flying. I chose to drive.

Not a few minutes into my drive I dealt with on-and-off rain that was just paralyzing. Not the mist that annoys you when you can’t decide if you should manually flip on the wiper every minute, or bear the awful windshield scraping noise because it’s going too frequently.

This was black skies driving into the abyss.

As if the weather wasn’t enough, there were non-stop road repairs.

In Chicago, we have a running joke that we have two seasons: winter and construction.

We were definitely in construction season and now the horrible weather was added.

And then there were the semis driving 66 mph to pass the other semi going 65mph and traffic backs up for a mile. My biggest life pet peeve is someone driving slow in the fast lane or the passing lane.

So, between the weather, construction, and traffic, my three-hour trip took well over five hours.

The meetings were good and I was to fly out of Cedar Rapids Regional Airport to Denver via Dallas.

I was required to fly an airline I don’t normally take because of convience, and it was a good idea until my flight was delayed two hours. You guessed it: weather.

Shockingly, I landed in enough time to make my connection flight although all my connection margin was shot. I was on the ground in Dallas at my gate waiting to get off my plane to make my connection waiting and waiting for almost 30 minutes as I was watching my plane board and take off literally at the gate RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

Who misses their flight, but gets to watch others board and take off without them?!?

Cruel man. Just cruel.

The good news is there was another plane I could take from Dallas with the only catch: it was two and a half hours from now.

Mind you, I have no status with this new airline and the customer service line was longer than bathrooms at a baseball game in the 7th inning at Wrigley Field.

I finally board and the flight took off an hour late.

Of course. Why not, right?

Needless to say, I was supposed to land in Denver at 9:45 pm and landed at a crisp 2:00 am (Chicago time).

My drive to the hotel was 45 minutes which felt like an hour and 45 minutes. Interstates down to one lane due to paving.

I made it to my hotel that was sold out and I didn’t care as long as I had a room, until I was put in a handicap room right next to the elevator. So by 6am I was woken by the elevator ding every five minutes and within a few elevator dings, I was awake and just chose to get up.

The next day I was moved locations only to enter a room that smelled worse than the designated smoking room in an airport where you can cut the air with a knife.

Of course.

I changed rooms, recovered, and looked forward to getting back on track.

I made it to the Denver airport in enough time to leverage my TSA Pre-Check and get to my gate with time to get water, walk a bit, then board.

So I thought.

The North TSA-Security line was closed. Huh? So, I walk to the South TSA-Security line to find out my TSA-Precheck was not on my boarding pass. Huh? It’s been on there every flight for years. And years. And years.

Of course.

Now I’m in line with everyone else strapped for time and just wanting my carry-on so I can run to get to my gate.

As someone who’s not used to a mild strip at security, I was fighting the annoyance and inconvenience but missing my flight was the only thing on my mind.

But now what?

My bag gets flagged and I have to wait for someone, anyone to look through the same bag that always goes through security with zero issues.

And I waited. And waited.

I finally make it to my gate in just enough time to board. Whew, all good, right?

We board, get in my seat and watch dark skies take over what was suppose to be a picturesque sunset over the Rocky Mountains as I fly home to surprise my wife.

Then the lightning happens. Over and over. And the heavens open up. I was wondering if my plane was going to turn into an ark.

Grounded. Everyone. And who knows how long. 15, 30, 45, 60, 90 minutes have gone by and I’m a captive audience.

We’re told all the time that **IT happens. Easy to say but what do you do on business travel when **IT happens to you?

And YOU KNOW what I mean by IT happens…

What did I do when I was challenged with this in the very moment when “IT” is happening to me not just once but this whole week on the road?

Four Responses to Dealing with IT When IT happens on the Road”

1. Roll With IT

Before I acted like I was the only one affected. I would get worked up, find others to join in on my complaining, and build my team against the wrongs done against us.

Do you know what changed? Absolutely nothing.

Except I was miserable. And those who had joined me were all riled up now.

The reality is nothing really improved. In fact, until I started to roll with it, I was even more affected.

Roll With It means “what happens happens” especially on business travel.

Here’s the reality we so quickly forget:

Not much should really surprise us on business travel especially if you’ve been doing it for any length of time.

When IT happens to you on the road, ROLL with it – what happens happens.

 

2. Let IT Go

I found that too often once I would ROLL with IT, the rolling would stop and I would get all worked up again.

Either the roll would lose momentum and just stop or it would be an abrupt pothole!

For example, I finally would “roll with the delayed flight” only to get re-worked up when the flight would be delayed again.

Like I never saw THAT coming, right?

Let IT Go means let IT keep rolling. Don’t pick IT up again

It’s not a one-time decision. You must keep letting it go.

An example would be forgiveness. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you never have those feelings again. When, not if it comes back up again, you need to remind yourself to forgive again.

In this case, let IT go again.

Otherwise, it will own you all over again.

 

3. Learn From IT

Excuse me, did you say learn from IT? I didn’t want IT in the first place?

Welcome to life.

We want the easy, the smooth – but that’s not life, especially road life.

Things will happen even to the most prepared elite road warrior. The key is finding what we can learn from the situation.

My father used to say to me: “Son, you can learn from absolutely anything. Even how NOT to do something.”

With my trip, I was reminded how many things are just out of my control and just how quickly even after all these years of traveling, I can still get sucked back into the frustration and cynicism, and let it own and control me.

I can learn from what has just happened and the best way for me is to journal about it.

One of my daily seven writing prompts is Lessons Learned and this is my time to reflect or “process the thoughts” as I call it under Energy Habit Five – Develop.

Learn from IT is looking BACK to get BETTER

I take just a minute or two and really think through what I learned so I can accept what happened and move on to the last response of dealing with IT when IT happens on the road…

It’s asking:

  • How did I respond to what happened?
  • Could I have avoided it?
  • Did I pick IT back up again?
  • What can or should I do differently?
  • Did you get frustrated with someone that didn’t deserve your entitled wrath?
  • Did you waste time when you were given extra time?

 

4. Make the Best of IT

It really gets down to this 4th response. After you roll with it, let it go, I mean really let it go, then learn from it, you’re forced with a choice.

Will I make the best of IT and what IT just handed me?

Do I reflect on the smell of IT and all the negative or do I learn from IT and just make the best of IT?

Make the Best of IT is Looking FORWARD.

I was given a piece of advice by a mentor who told me when IT happens to me, ask this one question:

What does this now make possible?

Did you catch the power in that very simple six-word question?

As a result of IT, the delayed flight, the canceled meeting, the short night, the (you fill in the blank), what does this now make possible that otherwise might never have happened?

This is a knowledge bomb I’m dropping right now.

It takes maturity and wisdom to get to the point where you begin to learn and make the best of IT especially on the road and can ask such a powerful question.

An Elite Road Warrior takes the IT that happens on the road, washes it off, doesn’t smell like IT, and is actually better for it while others are owned by it.

Choices.

The road has it’s challenges especially when “IT” happens to you on the road. And many times IT’s not an isolated event. IT comes in waves and can hit hard.

If you can walk away and apply even one of the four responses, you’ll bet better for it.

And if you can begin to ask the question “What does this now make possible?” you will regain control of your road life and begin to defeat IT when IT happens on the Road.

So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life.

Stop getting by and get better.

 

This post is brought to you by the book, Raise Your Game by Alan Stein, Jr.

Six Ways to Take an Energy-Giving Break on the Road

Terra is a hard driver. She’s up early and at it late. She never takes breaks and actually prides herself because of it.

During every possible break given in a meeting or conference, she’s working. Her brain is always engaged, and her legs are never moving while she’s sitting in those conferences.

Her philosophy is “who has time for a break?!” and she actually looks down on those who do. She would never say they are lazy but she does question their work ethic. Is Terra right? After all, you’re on the road to work and crank out as much work as possible.

Or is there a reason to take a break?
This is a major pushback for road warriors: the topic of a break. Terra is not alone in this area. But Terra, give it a break already!

I know what you’re thinking: “I barely have time to go to the bathroom let alone pause for lunch. How could I ever have time for a break?” Well, you never “have time.” You “make time” for things that are important. Believe it or not, breaks are important and they matter.

Four Natural Pushbacks To Taking A Break

1. I don’t have time to take a break.

I’m behind before I even start my day and will only fall further behind if I stop and take a break.
I will literally lose more time if I stop. I have TOO much to do and NOT enough time to do it. How could I even consider stopping for a break?

2. I feel fine, why take a break?

Those of us who are locked in and get “in the zone” can easily push back on this one. This is especially true for those of us who love what we do.

3. I forget to even take a break.

If it’s not something we do regularly, especially when traveling, it’s easier to just do a drive-by and miss a break, even if we want or need to take one.

4. My travel schedule does not allow me to take a break.

This used to be me. I never took a break on the road, and the main reason was I never scheduled it. When I started padding my schedule by just 15 – 30 minutes once or twice a day, the results were outstanding.
The problem is, most road warriors rarely take a break, and IF they do, they do it wrong. How do you screw up a break? Let’s start with what a break is first.

I define a break as: MOVE THE BODY/REST THE MIND.

If people choose to take a break at all, they do the opposite – they rest the body and move the mind.
They stay seated and move from one screen to another (computer to phone for social media or personal email). Aka: they screw it up. They’re not moving because they remain seated and their mind is not resting; it is engaged in something else.

They miss an opportunity to leverage the energy that a break can give you IF it’s done correctly.
A true break is designed to move the body – stand/stretch/walk – MOVE! Resting the mind means stop concentrating and let it roam free. Breaks mean running the car, but on idle.

I agree with what The Huffington Post says on breaks: “It is difficult to see things from a new perspective or find new insights when we come at it the same way all the time. Taking a step away — literally or figuratively — might be just what we need to recharge.”

A break is productive only when you disconnect from the work you are doing and indulge in any other activity that takes your mind off the task at hand. The reality is, we have to see the benefit of a break if we’re going to gain anything out of a break.

Benefits of a Break

1. Your mind gets to rest

I don’t know about most people, but the moment I begin my day, my mind is going, and I don’t want to admit it, but it doesn’t stay sharp all day. The reality is my mind begins to fade, especially being around people on the road all day unless I do something about it. That’s exactly why taking a break to give your mind a rest is so vitally important.

It’s good to push your mind, but if your goal is to stay sharp and productive, we need to consider a mental break. We can only focus for so long before quality begins to decrease. If we’re honest, we’ll admit this truth. Resting the mind is exactly what is needed to become more effective and to increase productivity.
What does resting the mind look like? Well, it doesn’t look like moving from one computer tab to another, from CRM to Twitter, from computer to phone. It means allowing your mind time to roam and not concentrate so it is free to engage in something else without intense focus.

2. Your body gets to move.

One of our biggest unknown challenges is being sedentary. Most of us sit almost the entire day, especially when we travel. We’re in a rental car or rideshare, then to the conference room to dinner and then we crash on the bed.

We are not designed to sit around all day, and it’s definitely not helpful for your creativity or productivity. Getting up for a few minutes gets our blood flowing and oxygen to the brain.

We NEED to get our blood flowing and oxygen to the brain to be at our best. Often times, since you’re naturally sitting most of the day, you just have to take the initiative. How many times have you been in a situation where someone said, “Can we take a quick break? I need to… (Get coffee, go to the bathroom, make a quick call or return some messages)”?

This is the timeout in sports you’ve been looking for but use it wisely. Often, people just sit there and completely waste the break. They stay seated on their can and check social media or talk about absolutely nothing.

Not you, road warrior. Exit stage left and go for a walk. Change locations. Move the body and rest the mind. Leave the building if you can. At least, walk around within the building. Often, I take a few stairs and at least step outside. In this way, I’ve moved and taken in some fresh air and scenery.

3. You come back more focused.

This is where taking a break actually increases your productivity. We don’t want to just do our work; we want to do our best work, and that’s what happens when we’re focused and creative. When blood is flowing through my body and oxygen is getting to my brain, both have had the break they need to come back more focused.

It’s amazing how people can screw up a break and are worse off after a break. Not you, road warrior. You’ll come back sharp and ready to knock out the rest of the time.

So, we’ve given excuses of why we can’t or don’t take a break. And we learned the benefits of taking a break. Now, let’s get very practical on how to actually take a break while on a business trip.

Here are Six Ways to Take an Energy-Giving Break on the Road

According to the book Rest, a true break from work – the kind that allows what sociologists call detachment, the ability to put work completely out of your mind and attend to other things – turns out to be tremendously important as a source of mental and physical recovery from work.

I realize breaks may be a change of mindset for you, but if you begin to simply change how you view a break, whether given or self-imposed, you will experience the benefits of moving your body and resting your mind as you get the full benefits of a break. Take a short walk and change your environment for a few moments to catch your breath with the goal of coming back refreshed and ready for another round.

Some break ideas are:

  1. Breath Break
  2. Stand Break
  3. Stretch Break
  4. Bathroom Break
  5. Snack Break
  6. Walk Break

These may seem obvious, but so often, we’re simply not doing them.
We’ll choose six excuses. Think creatively about how you could add them to your travel day. If you think you don’t have ANY time for a break, consider the following with examples of how to use the six different types of breaks.

Your goal: Be an overachiever and combine break types.

Three types of breaks on the road:

1. MICRO – Think Seconds/Small Length
We may not have time for anything longer at the moment or we just need a quick energy boost, and that’s exactly why we should take micro-breaks throughout the day.
Here’s a stat for you: a 30-second micro-break can increase your productivity up to 13% and a 15-second break from staring at your computer screen every ten minutes can reduce your fatigue by 50%.

Here are three different types of micro-breaks:

  • Breathe break – Take in oxygen to the brain.
  • Stand break – Simply standing and walking a sedentary body will do more for you than you think, even with such little effort
  • Stretch break – take that stand and move it to a stretch to get some additional blood flowing. You’d be surprised what a simple, calculated stretch will do for your energy.

EVERYONE on the road has time for MICRO breaks. They don’t affect your time but definitely affect your energy!

2. MINI – Think Minutes/Medium Length
Micro is seconds; mini is minutes. You can sneak a little break in with only a few minutes.
National Institutes of Health (NIH) research reveals that taking mini-breaks that range up to 5 minutes can improve mental acuity by about 13 percent. That’s GREAT ROI for just five minutes!

  • Bathroom break – This can be a mini-break. If you’re drinking water, this is a natural by-product of your hydration donation. Most on the road have time for mini-breaks either from your meeting that gives you a break, in-between meetings, or self-appointed mini-breaks.
  • Snack break – There’s no shame in getting a snack throughout the day. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to get some other sources of energy to your body so that you can work most effectively. Just remember to put good food into your body to help this mini-break be effective.

3. MAX – Think Unplug/Large Length
This type of break is harder to come by and is either granted during a long meeting or you just have to take it.

  • Water break – Again, if you’re drinking water, you’re going to need a refill, and this is the time to do it.

This couple of minutes’ break does more than you realize and is worth the quick stop. Often, this is a natural upgrade from the micro and mini breaks.

If you’ve been concentrating for a while, at some point in your morning and/or especially in your afternoon, you need a max break. How often have you found yourself pushing through the mid-to-late-afternoon and everything just seems to take you twice as long and the quality is half as good? The solution? A max break. This is a true un-plug.

I’m not talking an hour or even 45 minutes; 15 minutes is a great place to start with a max break.

Breaks are all over for you on the road if you just begin to look for them then learn to leverage them.
The ultimate goal is maximizing that break for all it’s worth to gain the energy you need for your day on the road.