Three Quick Ways to Personally Lose Respect

Two questions for you:

Do you want to be respected and I mean truly meaningful respected?

Are you willing to earn that respect?

Those are two bi-polar questions. It’s like wanting to lose weight without changing your eating habits. It doesn’t happen by osmosis and it sure doesn’t happen quickly.

But it can happen.

But why do SO MANY PEOPLE do things that quickly make me lose respect for them? And some are professionals and don’t even realize their unique and offensive skill set!

I’ve found there are three quick ways to personally lose respect in the eyes of others. And ironically, they’re things we do all the time.

The problem is we don’t often consider the impact that creates either respect or disrespect and as a result are very cavalier in the very ways that allow us to gain or lose respect.

Let me give a working definition of Respect:

Honoring others with what you say and what you do

Wait. Did you just say honor? Absolutely. It’s putting someone or something ahead of ourselves and the result is respect.

But often we don’t even think about whether or not we’re honoring or respecting others.

Respect at Work – boss and co-workers

Respect at Home – spouse and child

Wouldn’t it be nice to know the rules to avoid this altogether?

Here are the three quick ways to personally lose respect:

 

#1 – WORDS – How We Speak To Others

I’m amazed how people talk to each other. Whether it’s a co-worker, spouse, or even a stranger, our words have power.

One of the quickest ways to lose respect is with our words. It’s how we speak to others.

We see it the quickest in children. In a split second kids will actually say what they’re thinking and the damage is done.

It’s such a big deal in our family that it’s one of our Six Buckley Values. We’re all over showing respect to others because if we don’t learn it now it’s so much more difficult later in life to change.

Often, we hurt more with how we say our words. And we know when we do it. We know the edge or the tone to use that puts that little “umph” in the words to leave a mark.

Yet what may feel good on our end pays the price of the loss of respect on the other end.

#2 – TIME – How We Affect Others

So many people are dis-respectful by how they use their time. This may come as a surprise so let me give you an example.

I had a close friend whose boss would constantly not show up for a weekly meeting. Worse yet, he wouldn’t even cancel the meeting.

To me, this was SO disrespectful. His actions would result in holding my friend hostage every single week during this scheduled call. Completely avoidable and it spoke volumes to my friend without his boss ever saying a word.

As a result, my friend lost a ton of respect for his boss because of how careless he was in this area by ultimately disrespected my friend’s time. The sad part is I’m not even sure if this boss had any clue the loss of respect that was caused by the way he was cavalier with someone’s time.

We can be disrespectful by not returning an email or phone call, showing up late to a meeting (then making an excuse when you KNOW you could’ve actually been there on time with a few small changes).

We make it about us but in reality we’re disrespecting the other person. As a result, they lose respect for us. Completely avoidable.

#3- ACTIONS – How We Follow-Through

The 3rd and final way to lose respect quickly is in our actions. We can “say the right things” but if we don’t follow through, we’re showing disrespect.

We know what to say and we may even mean to do it but when we don’t follow through, whether we intend to or not, respect is lost.

Actions are not about intentions. Your direction, not your intentions, determine your destination.

If you want others to respect you, then follow-through. Put your big boy pants on and getter dun!

This is a big area for people. There are friends or co-workers that I know who are going to be late most of the time, will not respond to an email or call and have to be hounded down. They simply will not respond or get something done.

It drives me crazy and I lose a ton of respect for them.

But… how often am I doing the same thing?

Closing Thoughts…

It’s amazing how quickly we can lose respect for someone or lose it ourselves!

Most of us don’t want to disrespect others and in fact what to be respected.

But are we willing to be self-aware enough to watch our words, our time, and our actions?

If we are, then we have the ability to learn the three quick ways to personally lose respect and gain what we truly desire of others, their respect.

The key is starting with yourself and answering the closing question.

Closing Question…

Which area is the one you’re most likely to disrespect others?