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ERW Podcast

What Bo Jackson Taught me About Creating A New Road Secret Identity

For so long while business traveling, do you know what was ultimately my biggest problem?

I brought ME with me on the trip! I know, right?

The same bad habits I had at home went with me on the road. It’s like I packed them on my carry on along with that guy, Murphy, from Murphy’s Law.

And some of the those same habits were actually magnified on the road: I ate and drank more, and slept less. A sure-fire recipe for over-weight and exhaustion. Can I get an amen?

It was like I needed to become someone different in a good way on the road. But I wasn’t being different, I was way too much of the old me. The unaccountable, company credit card, and often too much free time me. I all too often was magnifying the bad parts, even the addictive parts of me on the road. Everything from working too much to drinking too much.

Then I heard an interesting backstory of someone I watched growing up.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him when he played sports. He was a highlight reel before ESPN SportCenter highlights really caught on like it is today.

It was Bo Jackson’s Story.

For those of you who don’t know that name, he’s the only athlete in the major four North American professional sports to be an all-star in two of them (baseball and football). Even Deon Sanders couldn’t pull this off. Sorry, Show Time.

Bo was a highlight waiting to happen in the 1980s who absolutely transcended sports. When you saw what he did you said “No Way. That’s not possible. Play it again!”

The greats in college have to choose between two sports – not Bo Jackson. He took on two major sports and excelled in both. Simply amazing.

He even had a popular string of Nike commercials called “Bo Knows.”

But most don’t know his backstory. As a kid, Bo had big time challenges containing his emotions and would get into a ton of trouble because of his outbursts of anger.

Often, he’d get caught up in the competition, and he’d retaliate against even the smallest perceived slights. The result? He would get hit with unnecessary penalties.

One day as Bo was watching a movie, he became fascinated by the unemotional, cold, and relentless nature of Jason. Does that name ring a bell? Jason was the hockey mask-wearing killer in the Friday the 13th movies.

At that moment during this particular movie, something in Bo absolutely changed. He had a breakthrough, soon-to-be light bulb moment.

He resolved to stop being Bo Jackson on the football field, leaving his uncontrollable rage on the sidelines.

And this is the key part of the story. To Bo, Jason only lived on the field. And when he walked out of the locker room and reached the football field, Jason would enter his body and take over.

Then suddenly, this hotheaded, penalty-prone, easy-to-provoke Bo Jackson transformed into a relentless, cold, and disciplined destroyer on the football field.

As Todd Herman puts it, Bo was channeling a “different” identity that helped him focus every ounce of talent and skill, and enabled him to show up on the field, without any emotional issues interfering with his performance.

Here’s the point: It was his “phone booth moment” just like Clark Kent transforming into Superman, Bo Jackson did the same thing when he transformed into his alter ego, Jason.

This story clicked for me as well. Fast forward to many years later, I realized I was still existing road warrior Bryan or exhausted road warrior Bryan on the road.

Nothing changed. I went on my next trip “thinking and acting” exactly the same. And as a result, I got the same results – imagine that. The only thing I gained was weight!

And I was tired of it both physically and mentally not to mention my wife and kids had had their fill of it as well.

I was also sick of looking into hundreds of hotel bathroom mirrors seeing the same former athlete looking like, well, I’ll let you finish my sentence.

My first problem is I was looking at the road and it’s limitations or how it enabled me, not how I could potentially leverage the road to become who I ultimately wanted to be in every area of my life.

Somehow I needed to figure out my Bo Jackson transformation when I hit the road.

I wanted to become Elite Road Warrior Bryan but something had to change in more than just my willpower and attempted behavioral change.

I needed what Todd Herman wrote on, an alter ego.

Now, I want you to stick with me because this alter ego jargon may seem a little weird but you’d be shocked at the thousands of athletes, performers, and business people who leverage the power of an alter ego.

I’ve been following Todd Herman for years from his blog post to his course, The 90-Day Year.

Then he came out with the book that I had heard him reference this concept for years, The Alter Ego Effect.

This is how he defines an Alter Ego Effect – assuming a different identity that allows you to embody a set of traits that you admire or wish to have. This new set of traits is what you then use to push yourself forward to success.

The problem is we live in the ordinary world where your enemy (inner conflict / resistance) prevents your Heroic Self from stepping up.

The enemy is there to cause you to stumble and not become your heroic self. It causes you to hesitate, overthink, and doubt yourself. Sound familiar?

It may sound like the following:

  • Things are just fine as they are
  • The road is too hard to change
  • I’ve been doing it the same way for too long
  • I’ve tried to change but keep coming back to the way things used to be

And this is what happened to me.

I put little to no thought into any other world except the ordinary world (aka: business as usual or in this case business travel as usual)

But Todd Herman challenges you to create an alter ego to fight this Enemy of mediocrity who fights change to ultimately embrace life in an Extraordinary world where you succeed at the highest level.

Your Alter Ego is the key to unlocking your Heroic Self.

Your Heroic Self embodies the three key focus areas of an Elite Road Warrior:
1. Your Work
2. Your Health
3. Your Home Life

An Alter Ego allows you to embody your Heroic Self whenever you need to perform at a higher level and I wanted to perform at the highest level with not only my work but also my health and home life and knew I had this gear in me that needed to be unlocked to come out consistently.

Todd Herman talks about your…

Field of Play – this is your place of performance. For an athlete, it’s the field or the court. For a musician, it’s the stage, For a business traveler, this is “the road.”

2nd – your Moment of Impact – also called “your moment of truth” – in sports, it’s the big shot; in sales, it’s your close; in a presentation, it’s your conclusion.

And here’s the point: Your Field of Play and your Moment of Impact is when you need your Heroic Self or your Alter Ego to show up.

James Clear in his book, Atomic Habits, says “true behavior change is identity change.”

You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity. Who you are or who you’re wanting to become.

When your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you are no longer pursuing behavior change. You’re simply acting like the type of person you already believe yourself to be.

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.

Identity Change is the North Star of habit change.

Are you becoming the type of person you want to become? The first step is not what or how, but who.

I wanted to change more than just a “few things here and there” – I wanted to become, in this case, an Elite Road Warrior.

And this is where the Alter Ego Effect becomes not only necessary but incredibly valuable.

The theme quote for the Elite Road Warrior book: If you want to do something, you’ll find a way, if you don’t you’ll find an excuse. – Jim Rohn

You have to want to create an Alter Ego and embody it for all it’s worth for it to work. Otherwise, you’ll find an excuse NOT to make it work.

So, what exactly did Bo Jackson Teach Me About Creating a New Road Identity?

I need to create one that allows me to transform from Existing or Exhausted Road Warrior Bryan to Elite Road Warrior Bryan!

There are Three Transformational Ways to Change Your Road Identity

I’ll give you the three then I’ll be vulnerable and share with you my Alter Ego but you have to keep it between us girls – deal?

1. Decide the type of person you want to be

  •  Someone you know or admire
  • TV personality or athlete or CEO or musician or entrepreneur or historical figure or super hero

2. Define their “superpowers” or actions that sets them apart

  • Strong
  • Confident
  • Powerful
  • Calm
  • Smooth
  • Determined
  • Resilient
  • Overcomer
  • Brave
  • Consistent

3. Find a Totem or Artifact – why? It activates your Alter Ego or reminds you the Alter Ego needs to show back up

  • Something you wear
  • Something you carry with you
  • Something connected to the Field of Play

Examples:

  • MLK
  • Winston Churchill
  • Athletes – certain shirt / chain

Key Side Notes:
1. the totem or artifact must symbolize something to you – it must have meaning and really work for you.
2. don’t wear, carry, or use it all the time (it’s meant to be intentional) and don’t give it away (Churchill only wore his hat in public / athletes wear “that shirt” only during the game)
3. Choose something you’ll enjoy wearing or carry with you

My Personal Alter Ego:

1. I want to be an Elite Road Warrior who has the Alter Ego of Jason Bourne

I absolutely loved the Jason Bourne series and this character is who I chose.

2. Define their super powers – if you remember the movie, Jason Bourne was transformed from David Webb and was always and I mean always…

  • Calm
  • Calculated
  • Highly trained and skilled
  • Prepared
  • Aware and Adaptive
  • Maximized what was available
  • One step ahead

3. Find an artifact or totem

I had to try a few things until I found out what worked and really worked for me.

I chose an aluminum water bottle – why?

My Elite Road Warrior branded black water bottle only comes with me on the road.

I can bring it with me wherever I am on the road – in a meeting, for example, and it’s not awkward or odd.

And when I drink the water, it reminds me I’m ERW Jason Bourne on the road who is highly trained and skilled as a road warrior. I’m always thinking one step ahead, aware, adaptive, and calculated. I don’t do things like the average road warrior because I’m no longer average.

How does the Alter Ego come to life for me on the road?

Through the Six Energy Habits

1. How I Move
2. How I Fuel
3. How I Rest
4. How I Perform
5. How I Develop
6. How I Connect

In my moment of temptation of doing something, I ask myself: Would ERW Jason Bourne do this or how would he respond? it actually works if you do this process correctly.

So, are you willing to create an Alter Ego for you to become an ERW?

1. Who is that person you will become?
2. What are their characteristics?
3. What will you carry with you to activate and remind you?

I challenge you to really consider this exercise.

If you pick an Alter Ego, reach out to me via email: Bryan@EliteRoadWarrior.com to let me know. I’d be honored to hear from you.

You Got This!

How I’m Learning How to Do Keto On the Road in Five Challenging Ways

One of the biggest challenges we hear from Elite Road Warrior Group research is how hard or challenging or impossible it is to eat healthy on the road.

A theme quote from my book: If you want to do something you’ll find a way – if you don’t you’ll find an excuse. – Jim Rohn

My self-identified role is to push you, challenge you, and hopefully motivate you to move beyond the average. From the existing or exhausted road warrior to an elite road warrior. This is my Master Evil Plan.

One of the biggest challenges on the road – eating healthy.

How you eat affects so many aspects of your road life:

  • How you feel about yourself – confidence, disappointment or even shame in how you look (I remember those days trying to escape that overweight guy who kept following me to each hotel bathroom mirror – hated that guy)
  • Your energy levels – Food is Fuel and Fuel is Energy

 

I’ve always been a bigger guy since my college days of lifting and eating a ton.

In college, there’s the freshman 15 and
For the business traveler, there’s the Travel 20. And I was such an over-achiever I hit 40 pounds overweight to prove it.

If you want to see that picture, check out eliteroadwarrior.com and watch the video on the top header.

I loved eating the best of the king’s food and drinking the best of the king’s wine and have more than enough opportunity on the road.

Here’s one sad, revealing true story: I was at a large dinner party of 12 and someone after dinner challenged to pay money to anyone who would finish the table’s dessert.

Now, this wasn’t some dainty-cute dessert. This was one pound of brownie and a gallon of ice cream. Topped with a mountain of whipped cream.

Once they started throwing out large bills, I was in. I milked the experience acting like I was done so they would throw more money down.

I finished every last bite and did my “victory lick” with my finger of the last piece of chocolate.

I won.

Or so I thought.

I didn’t sleep for one second that night. I could not digest what I had just eaten mind you after appetizers, a Porterhouse Steak, and serious Vino.

I couldn’t even lay down. I was miserable for 72 hours.

Brutal. Stupid.

 

Once I dropped the weight, I would add 10 then lose it. Add 15 then lose it.

I didn’t look bad. I just didn’t feel my best. I felt it the most around my stomach.

Many of you can relate.

Then my wife got involved – that always changes, well, about everything!

She wanted to lose the weight from the last child. But although she’s in good shape, she just struggled to lose that last 15-20 pounds.

I’ve found myself there again minus giving birth.  My wife’s friends had been doing Keto but we were a little concerned about the quality of food they were eating, getting the Keto flu, with symptoms such as low energy/ nausea, hunger cravings, brain fog, constipation, bad breath, difficulty sleeping, etc.

My wife was wanting the same weight loss results they had, but we just left the whole Keto-thing alone for awhile.

We’ve been following Dr. Axe for awhile now and you can at DrAxe.com

He has his own practice and started seeing a number of patients doing Keto but had a similar experience as my wife’s friends. But it got personal when his own mother became very sick with cancer and he encouraged her to go on a certain type of Keto Diet which he tweaked with his paleo spin.

The results were amazing. Her cancer was gone and her health bounced back incredibly.

Dr. Axe saw similar results with a ton of his patients and ended up writing a book, ironically called Keto Diet by Dr. Josh Axe.

Since we follow and trust him, we picked up the book and the audiobook versions.

I listened to the audiobook on the road during a ton of drive time visiting California in early May. My wife listened to it on her commute to and from her elementary school as a 2nd grade teacher.

We were hooked on his style of Keto and were willing to try it.

But.. here’s the catch:

My wife didn’t want to start the Keto30 without a long ramp-up plan.

So, we used May to integrate the full-on Keto30 on June 1st.

Keto30 is a 30-day focus to jumpstart the Keto program.

Now, I’ll get into the weeds of how we’re doing it and how it’s going but I wanted to give you the backstory up front.

The first thought that came to my mind when my wife wanted/demanded I do this with her was:

“I can’t possibly do this on the road. Eating healthy is already hard enough but going Keto style is just not possible.”

Couldn’t or wouldn’t?

That was my first reaction and I do this for a living! The reality is if you want to do something you’ll find a way and I wanted to find a way.

And the 1st level of being an Elite Road Warrior is becoming an Experimental Road Warrior.

You’ll go back to Experimental Road Warrior time and time again, to try new things and this is exactly what I needed to do.

Our family is primarily Paleo which means we seek to eat foods that are Whole Foods.

Megan Blacksmith defines a whole food as “something that eats a plant, grows on a plant, but is never manufactured in a plant.”

In short: No label and/or fewer ingredients the better

Here’s the Keto Way

1. Limit the Carbs (focus on getting your carbs through vegetables and certain fruits)

2. Organic Protein (grass-fed meat and wild-caught fish)

3. Increase the Healthy Fats (avocados / nuts / coconut, MCT oil, Ghee butter, raw cheese, healthy oils, even dark chocolate, etc)

4. Quality Supplements (collagen / bone broth protein)

Ironically, grass-fed meat and wild-caught fish are high-fat as well.

The overall point of Keto is most of your food intake is high quality fats and proteins and selective, quality carbs that are at a minimum.

 

Now, at the time of this recording, at halfway through the Keto30 and our May ramp-up time, I’m down 17 pounds.

My wife doesn’t know that and she doesn’t want to ask since she’s not seeing it on the scale as much but I can sure tell.

You can see it all over on her and especially with her clothes. I’m so proud of her! We’re both having success. And the 1st week of June I wasn’t traveling which helped. The 2nd week was two days of travel and this past week was the entire week.

Here are the five challenging ways I’m Learning to do Keto on the Road

1. Hotels with Kitchens

My success starts with where I stay – normally my hotels have at least have a mini-fridge which is the bare minimum but when trying to do Keto I look for:

  • A large fridge
  • Oven
  • Stove

I want to prepare and cook my own meals

A question came to me from a Road Warrior: what if you can’t find a hotel with a kitchen that is near you?

Answer: leverage every square inch of your mini fridge and see if you can find a Whole Foods near you to eat their hot dinner

I’m willing to do the extra driving if a hotel with a kitchen is in striking distance. If I can pull it off on the Las Vegas strip finding a full kitchen, I can most places.

2. Grocery Stores

This is an absolute must – but my 1st day I BRING my own food depending how busy my 1st day would look like especially if I couldn’t get to the grocery store until Day Two of my business trip. I usually do this anyway on my 1st day of my trip but especially doing Keto and 100% of the time on Keto30.

Make sure you set up your business trip for the highest chance of success but ESPECIALLY on Keto30.

Another question that came in was: What do you purchase at the grocery store?

I try to shop at Whole Foods and/or Trader Joe’s every chance I get, even an Aldi which is owned by TJs has enough for me for a business trip. A regional chain grocery store will do if needed but read the label and ask questions, especially on the meat!

1st of all, I shop the perimeter which means the fresh stuff not the box stuff (remember the definition of a whole food – doesn’t have a box)

  • Greens – spinach / kale / Swiss chard / cilantro
  • Meat – beef / chicken / fish
  • Veggies – organic broccoli / cauliflower / green beans
  • Berries – blueberries / strawberries / blackberries / raspberries
  • Grass-fed butter to cook with
  • Mixed nuts
  • Avocados and olives
  • Almond Milk for smoothies
  • Grass-fed Yogurt
  • Matcha Tea

I know, it sounds like a week’s worth of groceries but I buy ONLY for my trip and IF there are any leftovers, I bring them home and if non-perishable, I’ll save them for my next trip.

Note: I cook most of meat at one time if possible: I’ll bake all three chicken breasts at the same time or all three pieces of salmon so I have it ready in case the next night I’m not in a hotel or it’s my last day of the trip

3. Add the Highest Quality Supplements

Dr. Axe teamed up with one of my all-time favorites Dr. Jordan Rubin to create an incredible supplement line: Ancient Nutrition.

  • Collagen
  • Bone Broth Protein
  • Digestive Enzymes
  • MCT Oil

I interview Dr. Jordan Rubin on Keto, supplements, etc. on my ERW podcast episode 032 for those of you who want the science behind Keto and the supplements.

4. Intermittent Fasting

This is not required but definitely a kickstarter to Keto.

Intermittent Fasting (IF) – eating within tighter windows within your day to give your digestive system a break and allow your body to burn more fat for longer periods of time.

Dr. Axe suggests 8 hour / 7 hour / or 6 hour fasting options.

My road experience when I don’t have control of my time as much. I’ll eat hotel hard-boiled eggs or make a smoothie in the morning to eat later, or whatever is easiest between meetings to try and keep on schedule.

5. Stop Drinking on the Road

To some of you, this is the easiest one of all because you’re not a drinker of the alcohol-variety.

But most road warriors are drinkers in some form. Statistically, road warriors drink over 30% more on business trips and too many are functioning alcoholics. Don’t believe me? Stop for 30 days on the road or how about just one business trip. Or just one night? See how THAT goes and let me know.

But what if you’re at at social event or client dinner?

This is for 30 days – it revealed to me my habit of how often, not necessarily how much I drink on the road.

Flights / evening after a long day / nice restaurant with a great wine list / corporate credit card where the shelf of the liquor is easily upgraded or doubled for that matter.

It’s been a challenge but good for me to take a 30-day break from any and all alcohol

If you’re going to do Keto30 and really see results, alcohol must go. It has so much sugar which Keto30 avoids except a limited amount of allowed berries.

Bonus Recommendations

1. My Life Saver Item – Lunch Box to Carry a Controlled Substance – I bought good quality Tupperware in different sizes that fit exactly in my travel snack box to maximize space along with a Spoon/Knife/Fork All-in-One.

2. BYOB – bring your own blender

This content is not for the faint of heart. You have to want to it to do it otherwise you’ll find an excuse, a whole bunch of people to side with you (who are most likely overweight and not self-disciplined).

I wanted to do something difficult, under he Energy Habit: FUEL,  and that’s doing not only Keto Diet but Keto30.

If you are serious about dropping some weight and getting control of your food and alcohol intake, hopefully I’ve proven this is a viable and possible option even on the road.

So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life.

Go and get your girlish figure back and leverage the road to get it.

You Got This!

Why Meditation Didn’t Work for Me on the Road

I’m at a place where I don’t just get by on the road, I’m always seeking to get better while leveraging the road to do it.

But even though I’m an optimist, I’m also a skeptic on sadly too many things that can actually be transferred to Road Life. Now, I’m not Donny Downer (Debbie Downer’s older brother version) but certain things raise my Skeptic Radar.

One no greater than the practice of Meditation.

Why Meditation Didn’t Work for Me on the Road

I grew up in a very very strict religious home and even though my parents were people filled with grace and acceptance, my environment was not – at – all.

My assumption is that this is where my judgmental, skeptical, even cynical side can rear its ugly head if I’m not careful. To be clear, I detest this side of me and have to watch for it with hopes I catch it before it infects someone else.

I’ve had a lot of life happen since that point, but knowing this about myself has put perspective and grace into my life big time.

Before I understood anything about meditation, I just assumed I knew what it was and how it worked. It had something to do with Buddhism which is not the Christian God so I immediately dismissed it.

Prayer was all I needed. But was it really a replacement for prayer?

Not at all – naive, assumptive, and just plain ignorant.

Then I thought you had to be in a certain “HMMMMMM Pose” sitting in the Lotus Position for hours at a time and somehow tied to Yoga or silent trips at a monastery.

I know, I didn’t know what I was talking about. Clearly.

Once I started reading and hearing so much about the benefits of meditation I was more accepting of the idea but still nowhere close to trying it.

Here were my Excuses:
1. It’s a waste of time – what benefits does it REALLY give to me?
2. I don’t have time for this – I barely have time for the important things on a business travel day, how do I have time for meditation?
3. I can’t do this – the only letters behind my name are not MD or PHD but ADHD – not a chance I can calm this brain so why even try?
4. It’s self-indulgent – IF I have a few minutes to myself, seems a little selfish to spend it on meditating…

Then one day on one of my Downtime practices (remember, downtime is part of Energy Habit #3: REST. Downtime is defined as Time to BE, NOT to be on).

I was doing my Road Thing of Barnes-N-Noble and I came across a title that just jumped out at me:

Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics.

Out of complete curiosity, I picked up the book from Dan Harris and the intro hooked me:

“If you had told me as recently as a few years ago that I would someday become the traveling evangelist for meditation, I would have coughed beer up through my nose.

In 2004, I had a panic attack while delivering the news, like, on ABC’s Good Morning America. Being a masochist, I asked our research department to tell me exactly how many people were watching. They came back with… 5.019 (pause) million.

In the wake of my nationally televised freakout, I learned something even more embarrassing – this entire episode had been caused by my stupid behavior in my personal life.

You can watch his response to this attack here.

I was fidgety and a skeptic and the excuses of why I was not doing or even willing to try meditation were listed in the table of contents.

Even after reading many pages and given opportunities to “try a short meditation”, I have to be honest, I didn’t do it. I just kept reading the book.

Then I picked up the audiobook so I could consume the content quicker (which I have a habit of doing). In the audio version, I was actually walked through what is called a Guided Meditation and I finally gave it a shot.

The biggest aha moment I learned was I had the goal of meditation completely wrong.

I thought it was to clear your mind and if you only knew what goes on in my mind, that sure wasn’t going to happen!

The goal of meditation is not to clear your mind but to focus your mind – for a few seconds then whenever you become distracted, just start again. Getting lost and starting over is not failing at meditation, it is succeeding.

Did you catch that?

This was a game-changer for me. I wanted to be more focused and if this couple-minute practice could help, I should consider giving it a real shot.

Do you know why meditation didn’t work for me on the road at first?

I didn’t understand it and what I don’t understand, I avoid, then discount, and all too often, dismiss and mock.

But that doesn’t make me right or the practice of meditation wrong.

It just makes me stubborn, close-minded, and not willing to experiment in something that could actually help me.

So, how did I eventually make meditation work on the road for me?

And with any new practice, you must experiment.

I love how Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky in the book, Make Time call meditation “just a breather for the brain.”

They say “for human beings, thinking is the default position. Most of the time this is a good thing. But constant thinking means your brain never gets rest. When you meditate, instead of possibly going along with the thoughts, you stay quiet and NOTICE the thoughts, and that slows them down and gives your brain a break.”

But meditation is also an exercise for the brain. Staying quiet and noticing your thoughts is refreshing but also hard work.

I wanted and even needed to become aware of certain thoughts and behaviors of mine on the road that meditation could potentially reveal:

  • Tension from stress
  • Restlessness
  • Randomness
  • Distraction
  • Sometimes I just need to be made aware of what’s going on in my mind and body (without being told by someone else)

These were instant wins for me with meditation.

I didn’t have to go to some silent retreat center, give up a full or half-day, or even sit in the lotus position humming MMMMMM……

Here was my insight:
I underestimated the power of just slowing down and concentrating on my breathing and focusing my mind not trying to clear it of all thoughts.

So, let’s get practical and personal….

Here are questions I’ve received on how I now meditate on business travel:

Where I meditate on the road:

Travel Day:

  • Drive to airport
  • Delays
  • On the flight
  • Before bed

Normal Road Day:

  • Part of my Energy Hour
  • Drive to a meeting
  • Before connecting with the family

How long I meditate on the road: 1 to 10 minutes

Not impressive and maybe a little embarrassing.

But sometimes I’ll do it 2 or 3 times a day.

My purpose at this point is to Focus my Mind and get a hold of what’s going on in my head and body.

Here’s how to implement meditation on the road (kudos from the Make Time book)

1. Start with a Guided Meditation App

Recommended:

1. Headspace
2. Calm
3. The Mindfulness App
4. Buddhify
5. Sattva
6. Stop, Breathe & Think
7. Insight Timer
8. Breethe
9. Omvana
10. Simple Habit
11. Meditation and Relaxation Pro
12. Aura

2. Aim LOW (start with 1-3 min) I often land in the 5-10 min range on the road.

3. No Lotus Position Required – My key was learning how to meditate wherever I was – driving / walking / during stress or anxiety / before bed

4. If the word MEDITATION freaks or creeps you out, change it!

5. Give this a REAL SHOT – it took me many weeks to find my groove meaning what app I liked / how long / adding in change of locations / even remembering to do it!

6. FOCUS is the key – focus on your breathing, focus on the road in front of you, focus on the sounds around you, focus on the scents – the key is focusing your mind for a string of consecutive seconds

My GoTo App: 10% Happier

Key Links for Reviews on Recommended Apps:

https://www.prevention.com/health/g27241883/best-meditation-apps/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/top-meditation-iphone-android-apps#meditation-amp;-relaxation-pro

https://blog.bulletproof.com/best-meditation-apps/

https://mellowed.com/best-meditation-apps/

https://wa-health.kaiserpermanente.org/best-meditation-apps/

 

 

So, why did meditation not work for me on the road at first?

I didn’t really understand it and give it a real shot.

But that’s NOT the mindset of an Elite Road Warrior who experiments – Choose / Try / Evaluate / Adjust and this process is necessary to make meditation work, especially on the road

So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life.

Go and get your Meditation Groove on. You Got This!

HMMMMMM……

 

How I Shocked My Wife with the Not Forgotten Journal

How I Shocked My Wife with the Not Forgotten Journal

One of the hardest things about the road for me personally is the loss of time and connection with the love of life, my wife Susan.

We enjoy being around each other – from playing sports to going for a walk and just talking and laughing.

The road steals that from us and cannot ever give it back.

It’s a reality she’s accepted through the years but it didn’t come easy. My contact with her on the road was as absent as my presence. I was lousy at it for a long time. I’m just being vulnerable here.

In my role as a business travel performance expert, I hear the good, the bad, the ugly, and the brutal unfiltered truth.

Too many men have wrecked their marriages and heck, most of their relationships as a result of the road.

Too many women are not only burned out by the road, but also by additionally taking care of home life back home before they leave, while they’re gone, and picking up any collateral damage when coming home.

I have nothing but the highest respect for traveling mothers – truly unsung heroes.

I’ve had my share of senseless and needless fights before leaving. In my interview with Megan Bearce in my podcast episode #024 she says “it’s easier to leave mad than sad.”

My biggest blowout came not from an argument, but by a hurtful thing I did, or in this case, did NOT do coming home from a trip.

Here’s the backstory for context…

I was coming off a brutal stretch including international travel and back-to-back trade shows where I was up early for C-suite breakfast meetings and had late evenings for corporate parties and customer dinners. My wife and I were basically competing by text who was more tired. She was raising my kids as a single mom in my absence, which remember, was a brutal stretch.

When I came around the corner and pulled into my driveway, I only saw my wife’s arms and my youngest child at the time as a one-year-old as the “Running Man Baby.”

I’d like to say that I grabbed my baby,  kissed my wife, embraced my kids,  and gave my wife the night off for me to clean the house and take care of the kids.

But what I did… walked right by my beautiful and exhausted wife, heard my kids say “Daddy’s home!” and all I said was an agitated, “Daddy’s tired,” and went to lay down on the couch in the family room. Who does that? I woke up to a beautifully angry wife who had tears in her eyes and let me know with a soft, strong tone: “Something needs to change.”

I realized I had become a Check-In Guy. My family always had to adjust to my exhaustion and my check-in schedule when I was on the road. I had become “That Guy” I swore I’d never become as a husband, father, and even friend. This became my “Wake-up Call” that didn’t come from a hotel but a call that was the result of my unawareness and selfishness.

I still had a choice – I could heed the call or ignore the call.

Too many business travelers not only ignore the call, they minimize the call, justify their actions with the call and go on to do their business (travel that is) as usual.

I knew I needed to change and it was the start of the Six Energy Habit – Connect.

This change didn’t happen overnight – or over one business trip, but a series of months.

It took what I learned as the three elements of Connect:
1. Connect Intentionally – on purpose
2. Connect Thoughtfully – reflective
3. Connect Creatively – memorable

To be honest, I found it easier to begin to do some creative things for my kids – I have a creative side so this was an easy and quick win for me. But I had a ton of ground to make up for with my wife and just didn’t know what to do that could “Move the Relational Needle” with the amount of neglect I had done.

I had created so much distance while I was gone, and then so much tension when I came home – I had such high and unrealistic expectations on the house being clean, everyone adjusting their schedule to dad’s exhaustion or work that still needed to be done. Instead of helping I was criticizing and critiquing – this is coming from the guy who was gone most of the week to a functioning single mom when I was gone.

Can you see the pain that I caused?

I desperately needed to find something meaningful for my wife – something that showed her that she was not forgotten while I was on the road – that I thought of, loved, missed, needed, and deeply appreciated her.

One day for one of my road downtime activities, I was in a Barnes-n-Noble looking at books, and I noticed the Journal section. In my curiosity, I saw one that was really cool and thought I’d get it and figure out what to do with it at some point.

I knew I could use it for my wife in some intentional, thoughtful, and creative way. I was on a flight doing what I call Think Space, dedicated time to process my thoughts. I decided I would figure out a way to utilize this beautiful journal.

Then it hit me – what if I wrote something, anything in this journal every day I was on the road to let her know she was not forgotten.

And there the idea for the  NFJ (Not Forgotten Journal) was born.

What I did:

  1. Reserved a couple of minutes every day on the road to write in the journal
  2. Planned ahead – I used Think Space for ideas on what to write
  3. Chose one of the following to write about:
  • Memory – funny / serious – song, scent, location, picture, food
  • Encouragement
  • Inspiration
  • Appreciation
  • Feeling – missing home, lonely

Full Disclosure – the journal I chose had a TON of pages in it which felt like it was never going to end

The response – I finished it on June 21st and gave it to my wife the very next day.

Lessons Learned

  1. You don’t have to wait until you blow it. You should do something now
  2. It was harder and easier than I thought – harder because I put a lot of pressure on myself and it was a super big journal, and easier because it only took a couple of minutes per road day
  3. When I couldn’t think of what to say/write, I looked at a picture of my wife and asked myself “what would she need to hear from me?
  4. Having ideas to stimulate the creativity was huge – I needed the primer for the days I was in a hurry or just not feeling creative
  5. This was not about me – so when I didn’t feel like it, I had to remind myself “this is for her, not me, and I cannot wait for her to read this page.”

Suggested Next Steps

  1. Experiment with the NFJ concept – what would this look like for you to apply and work in your situation
  2. Buy a NFJ journal
  3. Keep it a secret – take the pressure off of yourself

 

This isn’t going to be a quick win overnight. But I challenge you to consider upping your connect game on the road and giving the NFJ a real shot.

Hopefully hearing the NFJ story between me and my wife inspired you.

You can do this too!

So, wherever you are, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life.

 

10 Most Often Asked Questions Asked of Me About Road Life

One of my favorite parts of being a business travel performance expert is receiving so many questions whether through surveys, assessment, research projects, emails, or just plain conversation on a flight or at a hotel bar.

Recently, I spoke at a consulting firm and was flooded with GREAT questions from high-performing road warrior consultants who wanted to not get by on the road but get better and leverage the road to do it.

As a result, I’ve chosen ten of the most often asked questions for this article.

10 Most Often Asked Questions Asked of Me About Road Life

This 1st question is by far the most asked question but it’s also the one that gets the most pushback.

1 – How do you eat healthy on the road?

I failed miserably at this for easily the first half of my road career which has been too many years.

I viewed my business trip as a vacation when I ate, not a vocation. My filter was, “oh, that looks good!” I could spend more on an appetizer or dessert or glass of wine than I would on my entire meal with my own money.

The result? Ballooning to over 40 pounds overweight due to business travel. I hated how I looked in that blasted hotel mirror and felt lousy.

Then I came to the point where my perspective on food changed. I wanted energy on the road to be my best and Food is Fuel and Fuel is Energy.

I embraced four letters – MTHC (Make the Healthiest Choice)

And part of MTHC is three parts:
1. Continually Hydrate – I have an Elite Road Warrior water bottle and drink a ton of water ALL DAY LONG
2. Clean and Green – every meal is the cleanest I can eat and I add as many greens as I can
3. Carry a Controlled Substance – I carry a snack bag with Tupperware that has healthy snacks so I’m never caught off guard and always have an energy kick available

I have choices of what I put in my mouth and need to consciously choose how I feel after whatever I’m about to eat.

I favor hotels with full kitchens, shop at Whole Foods and/or Trader Joes whenever possible, and request eating someplace “Clean and Green” when going out with others.

I recently even did hard-core Keto30 on the road which you can listen to on episode 25 of the podcast.

Key phrase: MTHC (Make the Healthiest Choice)

2 – How do you workout on the road?

Time is your biggest enemy on the road.

I believed the lie “if I can’t get in a full workout, what’s the point?” – Lies, nothing but lies!

I had to change my mindset to “Something, Anything is Better Than Nothing.”

Sometimes my 20-minute workout is better than an hour.

Sometimes, going 10 minutes hard in my hotel room with bodyweight and resistance bands is more than enough.

“But I’m too tired to workout” – lies, nothing but lies.

Movement creates energy.

How many times have you worked out in the morning after dragging yourself out of bed and by the end of the workout, you were ready to conquer your day?! That’s me – every… single… time.

I learned the Increase M4X Formula
1. Stand More – think up on your feet, not down on your butt
2. Walk More – think forward, not still
3. Run More – think cardio, get your heart rate up
4. Lift More – think strength training

How I…

  • Stand More – stand at the gate / every 30 min on a flight / in meetings whenever possible / create stand up desks at the hotel (lobby or room)
  • Walk More – park at the back of a parking lot / choose a higher floor at the hotel / take the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator or walk the escalator
  • Run More – do HIIT that gets my heart rate up – jog to run / burpees / stairs quickly
  • Lift More – bodyweight / dumbbells / resistance bands

Key phrase: Something, Anything is Better Than Nothing

3 – How do you get a better night of sleep on the road?

Ah, sleep, the ultimate waste of time on the road, right? How can you get anything done if you’re in a coma?

I used to view sleep as a “necessary evil”

I had to learn to make the sleep I was getting, which was 6 hours or less, better before I started to add any more sleep because it wouldn’t be quality sleep.

1. Prioritize Bed Time
2. Create a Bed Time Ritual
3. Create an Ideal Sleep Environment

For me…

Bed Time Priority always depended on the type of my trip – was I by myself or with others? Was I doing training, speaking, and workshops, or at a conference or trade show? Once I knew, then I could realistically prioritize bedtime. That may mean leaving the event or bar earlier but nobody really cared the next morning. Regardless, getting to bed with the foresight of what time I needed to get up was a priority.

My Bed Time Ritual:

  • Drop the Lights
  • Drop the Temperature
  • Change the Room Scent
  • Comfy Clothes – under armor shorts / Hurley soft t-shirt or Dep Sleepwear
  • Read
  • Guided Meditation

Ideal Sleep Environment:

  • Cool
  • Dark and I mean dark – towel over door crack/clip to keep the curtains shut
  • Bose Sleep Buds

Key Phrase –“Improve Before Increase”

 

4 – What is your morning routine?

It has definitely evolved over time. In fact, I have an entire podcast episode on the First Hour of Your Road Day called the Energy Hour

My routine used to be checking social media, sports scores, texts, and emails while still in bed!

Once I opened up any of those, they owned my day and I rarely turned it around.

So, I needed to make sure I took care of ME first before everyone else’s agenda.

And what took care of me?

Four of the six energy habits:

1. Develop
2. Move
3. Connect
4. Fuel – continually hydrate

My exact morning routine:

  • Hydrate – my drink
  • Develop – read my Bible / read something inspirational / pray and meditate
  • Move – workout
  • Connect with the Fam – I want them to hear from me first thing in the morning and I’ll talk about how in Q5

Key Phrase – “Hit the Four Before the Door”

5 – How do you stay connected with those you love back home?

This was an area where I was what you call, a Check-In Guy for WAY too long.

I just “checked in” when it was convenient for me with no regard to what was going on back home in the life of my wife and kids. It was selfish to be honest as I look back on it.

Staying connected, especially if you’ve been traveling for any length of time, can, well, get old and stale. And for me, I wasn’t checking in enough and it really affected my family and friends back home.

Eventually, I leveraged my creative side to “spice things up” to re-connect with everyone to become a Connect-In Guy.

It’s done in three ways:

  • Connect Intentionally
  • Connect Thoughtfully
  • Connect Creatively – be memorable

How I Connect Now:

Key Phrase -“Be a Connect-In Guy or Girl, not a Check-in Guy or Girl”

The next five questions are more vulnerable.

I’ve not arrived as you’ll hear in the following answers. But I truly desire to transform my work, health, and home life on the road to master the business travel life.

 

6 – What took you the longest to change and why?

Learning how to rest and pace myself on the road. I’ve always been a hard-driver, Type-A, energy guy.

If you’ve not heard my back story, which you can listen to on the podcast in episode 002, I went so hard for so long, my body shut down to the point of complete exhaustion and I became very, very sick. It took months and months to recover and I had to learn to change my ways if I was going back to Road Life.

I had to prioritize three areas:

  • Sleep – improve then increase
  • Breaks – move the body, rest the mind
  • Downtime – time to be, not to be on

There was time for breaks and downtime – I just needed to take them and make them a priority – the payoff was beyond worth it.

I also had to learn to ask:

  • When is my energy the highest each day on the road?
  • Why is my energy low right now?
  • Is there anything I can do to change my energy level?
  • Can I match my energy with my tasks?

I had to become what I call an Energyologist (a Buckleyism) – the personal study of your own energy

Key Takeaway – You can have more energy on the road

 

7 – What do you regret the most on the road?

The answer is found in Energy Habit Six – Connect.

I regret not making my family a bigger priority especially when I first started traveling. I created some very bad habits in three areas:

  • How I left – abrupt and not sensitive especially to my kids’ feelings
  • When I was gone – When and how I contacted anyone back home revolved only around me and my schedule
  • How I returned – I was always exhausted when I came home and it was always about me. I demanded the house be in perfect condition and life revolved around me. I wanted to be left alone to “transition back into civilian life” yet I was angry when everyone went on with their lives.

My family hung in there but I had done some damage that took years to repair and I regret it. Thankfully I was able to turn it around and it’s become one of my strengths.

Learn from my costly mistakes.

Key Takeaway – Prioritize Others Just as Much

 

8 – What do I still struggle with on the road?

Drinking too often and too much.

I don’t get drunk on the road or take it too far. I learned very early in my career to never “be that guy” but only see or hear about “that guy”.

I love good wine and craft beer but have learned to minimize it big time especially doing Keto on the road.

I’m a Vodka Tonic guy and too easily justify a drink or three (always a double) after a long day, customer dinner, or event.

Doing Keto30 of absolutely no drinking was a very good thing for me along with not drinking on any weeknights when I’m home.

This is a struggle and growth area for me.

My biggest change has been adding one glass of water with every alcoholic drink. I call it the 1:1 Water Match Program – and it’s absolutely free to join

Key Takeaway – Make Sure You’re In Control

 

9 – How do you handle it when you blow it on the road?

I’ve adopted the James Clear concept called “Avoid the 2nd Mistake” – If I have a bad meal, I don’t justify the day or even the rest of the business trip.

If I don’t work out the 1st day, it’s not a free pass for the rest of the trip.

If you watch baseball, the best closers have the essence of short-term memory. If they blow last night’s game, they need to come back out the next night like it never happened and “begin again.”

Depending on what “blowing it” was for me, in the early days there was some regret and guilt. I had a couple of close friends I could tell “the real story” for some confession and accountability. I wanted to monitor the heart.

Another phrase I use that is helpful to me is “Dip NOT Dive” – when I go “off-road” as I call it from the 6 Energy Habits, I need this to be a quick dip and get right back to what allows me to master the business travel life and avoid the downward spiral and the 2nd mistake.

Learn from it and move on.

Key Takeaway – Avoid the 2nd Mistake

 

10- What advice would you give for a newer business traveler?

  • Learn and apply the Six Energy Habits immediately in your Road Career.
  • If you have bad habits at home, road life will only expose them.
  • Don’t worry about “what everyone else does or says”, you take care of yourself first and foremost.

Learn from my mistakes and others. You don’t have to do it the hard way with a brutal crashing and burning, 40 pounds overweight, burned out, stressed out, and disconnected from family and friends.

Key Takeaway – Own the Six Energy Habits right now!

 

I hope these questions and answers were helpful. They’ve been asked by a number of people, so here it was:
* The good
* The bad
* The ugly

I hope you gained some ideas and appreciated my honesty with the goal of helping you become an Elite Road Warrior.

If you want any more detail or further examples, you can find them in my book, ERW – 6EH to Master the Business Travel Life. It’s available on Amazon in the print version, Kindle digital version, and also on audiobook via Audible.

So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life. You Got This!