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Bryan Paul Buckley 0:00 Episode 82 of the Elite Road Warrior Podcast. Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast where we believe you can leverage the road to transform your work, health, and home life while on business travel to ultimately master the business travel life. If you’re a road warrior, and a great chance you’re on the road right now then this podcast is for you.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 0:31 Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast. I’m your host Brian Paul Buckley, fellow Road Warrior husband, one father of five. And then I really enjoy meeting certain people that I click with then I’m like man, they would make a great interview on the Elite Road Warrior Podcast and I’ve got one of those for you today. And as always, I would love for you to join my road trip in my master evil plans becoming and remaining an elite Road Warrior. But when I met our guest, as I mentioned, I just clicked with his energy, his passion, his desire to improve his life and the life of others. So I’m really honored to interview him today. And I think you’re really gonna enjoy the conversation. He is a quote like one-liner bomb King. So there were just so many that I was just like, oh, say that again. Say that again. And we’ll make sure those are in the show notes as well.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 1:19 So, let’s meet our guest today. Nick Davies is a business and career coach with 20 years of background in financial services. He’s originally from London, England. And Nick has also worked in the Philippines, Florida, New York, and now calls Charlotte, North Carolina, his home and you’re gonna love his North Carolinian, British accent. Well, over the past four years, Nick has shifted big time is focusing on creating his purpose and now allows people in businesses through coaching. He’s trained through Tony Robbins coaching which is absolutely amazing and is also a certified health coach. And in just a moment, we’re gonna be working through these following questions with Nick. How is your perspective enhanced by traveling as a business traveler, why is it so important to understand our own behaviors? And why we do the things that we do when we’re on the road? How much of a difference do our habits and our road routines, these patterns these road life road routines make on the road? How can we create more focus while we’re traveling on business? How do we leverage the power of connecting with other people as a business traveler? And we went deep on that question, and as a coach, what difference does he see with those who prioritize personal development and maybe those that don’t, and there’s always so much more. It’s go time!

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 3:02 Well, I’m live right now with the Nick Davies. How are you and where are you, man?

 

Nick Davies 3:08 I am outstanding, middle of the week ready to go cranking it out. Coming to you, Charlotte, North Carolina, a beautiful Sunday morning

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 3:17 And I can tell right now for those listeners who are on the go that your North Carolinian accent is just a little bit behind right now with theirs so how long you been there and man Why aren’t you in North Carolina

 

Nick Davies 3:31 Isn’t it authentic? Come on. Come on.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 3:35 Come on. We’re gonna start the interview that way.

 

Nick Davies 3:37 I’ve been here for three whole years Come on, can I not belong here?

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 3:40  In a row. Well, I mean, I still pick up that I still think that the Texas accent and the New York accent I mean, those are coming through pretty strong.

 

Nick Davies 3:48 yeah, I mean, it’s all about traveling. I believe in that a lot. And it’s part of why we’re here today of course but yeah, I’m originally from London, England and lived in the states for seven years. North Carolina is absolutely where I call home now. My wife and my daughter and this is where we’re putting down some roots and it’s a beautiful place beautiful state. And I love it.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 4:06 And a heck of a swim to get back to the Motherland, isn’t it? A good thing since you’re in shape? Well, hey, you know, I joked around I used to say it worked for an Australian based companies you could tell me my Chicago Australian accent you know, and I had to hit that the Chicago part hard otherwise that Aussie would come out and you know, you know, as those Aussies are, so anyway, so you’re a business and career coach how what’s that look like on a daily basis?

 

Nick Davies 4:35 That looks like me living my best life. Really, Brian. I know that sounds corny and kind of cliche to say but you know that this is why I do this. It’s, it’s a second career for me and it’s a really purposeful and intentional about what do I want to have in my life and that looks like for me, set my day up in the morning making sure that I start my day, but the things that into my mind I need to be doing, put the things into my body that I need to be having to be able to come and crank it to the highest level peak performance sharp for my clients in the best possible way, shot for people that I’m working with working around. So colleagues of mine people that I’m looking to do business with, so prospects to serving people at the highest level and doing things like this and, and having conversations with people like you that really fill me up, and I think it’s pretty important. So that’s why it looks like for me, it’s a balance of all of those things.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 5:23 Well, and it’s obvious you do well what you do, because of our first five minutes of the phone call, just kind of get to know each other a little bit. We’re like, man, we’re on literally the same page, same paragraph, same sentence, and, and that’s great. And so we’re gonna pack quite a bit of that within this interview. So, Nick, how is your perspective enhanced by traveling? I mean, obviously, you’ve been a world traveler, and you know, being a coach, but then also traveling yourself. What does that mean to have your perspective enhanced on the road?

 

Nick Davies 5:53 If I boil it down, Bryan, I think the biggest indicator of change is environment. And what’s the most impactful way that you can change your environment is to change your physical environment. And there’s a lot of things that we can do to, to move around the environment that we’re in. But the quickest way, impactful way of doing that is just, is just change it and change it from a different, different location, different state, but more importantly, different country, different people around you. And you’re forced to be in that experience. Now, if you want to go and learn a language you want to learn Italian, what do you do? What’s the best way? To go to Italy – you learn that language, submerge yourself. I think that’s true across everything. So I think it’s so important to get those different perspectives, those different areas and just have a view of what other people do. It’s so easy to be able to just to see how this is the way that life is, the way things are. If you’re always been in the same place, nothing wrong with that, by the way, but the easiest way to change your perspective and to grow and see different things is to just be in an environment that you’re not used to and you can’t help us see things.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 6:56 So let’s drill down there for just a second because obviously by the road, we are forced to that unless you are it consultants, but even then, I mean, I’ve traveled consultants, I deal with consultants and they may be in one spot for three months. So that’s the same for three months. But eventually, they’re moving to another city. And so they’re always meeting new people, people. So we actually had the ability of enhancing that perspective, if we allow it to correct. So how do we allow that? I mean, what, what does that mean? So all of a sudden, I’m not doing it, but now I want to do that. What does that look like?

 

Nick Davies 7:26 Yeah, yeah, change is automatic growth is not. It’s a choice.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 7:31 Say that again, say that again

 

Nick Davies 7:33 Change is automatic, growth is not. That intention is the difference, that choice because you can go get dragged kicking and screaming to something that changes in your life. You have to want to take that opportunity and make that something that by to be more of that, you know, it’s I think that that’s the biggest thing is making that decision and say, Okay, what, what’s new in my environment, and what can I take from this. And get curious, have some fun! What can I take from here? What’s different here? Wow, what can I learn?

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 8:05 That’s great awareness.

 

Nick Davies 8:07  Yeah. Awareness. I mean that that word will come back to so often that and intention is so true, but just bringing out every part, I think it’s so important.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 8:14 Well, I think intention kind of leads into that next question. So why is it so important to understand our own behavior and why we do the things that we do in business travel? I know that’s a big area in your practice with people as far as to understand the behavior and the reasons they do what they do, but how in the context of business travel how does that relate?

 

Nick Davies 8:33 Yeah, it relates massively because we do things based on patterns. And so if your role your business, your job, evolved into business travel, maybe there was like one bit of travel you did every year then that was then it started to be two a year, three a year and it was every month and it was every week. You probably didn’t take the time just start and go, Okay, how do I want to do this thing? How do I want to lay this out to be most successful, delivering for my clients, so different from me, and having the best possible experience probably didn’t happen. And so there’s a great time to just hit the reset button if you like and say, Okay, well, where I am on where am I now? What do I, what do I like about what am I doing in the patterns that I’ve, I’ve ingrained because we all build these patterns. It’s part of who we are. And it’s really important, really powerful. Because if we didn’t build patterns, make things automatic. I’m gonna have to relearn everything all the time. And but we need to be clear about what the patterns are, which patterns do we want to build? And so I think it’s a great, always a great time, especially now, maybe that travel wasn’t quite as much. And we’re still moving around. We’re still doing travel in different ways. But just to think about like, what do I want to get out? What type of person do I want to be here? How can I take this free this thing to the next level? What is it about my patterns that I’m doing? What do I like when I’m just doing inventory? And just be honest with yourself.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 9:56 And it’s hard to your points when you’re just going, going if all of a sudden you go from, you know that one tradeshow a year to traveling a few times a year. It’s all of a sudden, you’re the busy traveler or guy just interviewed recently, Justin Pugh in Episode 78, where he went from a sedentary lifestyle, eight to five every single day to all of a sudden he’s traveling every single week for six months. You know, we talk about hitting the gas pedal there, but having that opportunity to be able to go, is this what I want in my life? Is this what I’m getting out of business travel of what I hoped it would be. And obviously, that’s where somebody like you as a business coach can kind of work and pull those types of things out or maybe reflect a little bit more on those questions. Is that correct?

 

Nick Davies 10:38 Absolutely. Something I always start with, and I always go back to is a real simple question of what do you want? Because I’m sure you’ve experienced this as well that generally speaking, when you ask people what they want, they will just tell you what they don’t want. And it’s a simple question, but it’s not one we often ask ourselves that are really deep. But I think that that’s what we’ve always got to point back to, is if you get if you find yourself getting stuck in the monotony of something is, and just getting frustrated with something to pull it back and say, hang on, let me distance myself a little bit. Let me create a little bit of space. So I can ask the deep questions, again, the real questions, why am I doing this? What do I really want? What does this serve me? How does it serve me? Who am I trying to serve?

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 11:23 So Nick, to go back to what you just said, where people answer with what they don’t want. Do you find at least in your coaching, that sometimes finding what you don’t want ultimately leads somebody to finding out what they do want? I mean, by like, some process of elimination, where it kind of uncovers like, Oh, I have an aha moment by doing the antithesis of answering that question.

 

Nick Davies 11:42 Yeah, no, absolutely. And there’s definitely value in saying what you don’t want. And, and, and for sure, and I’m not making people wrong for that. It’s a better process. And so if you’re going from your answer, the question of what you want is what you don’t want, you can just show yourself where you are in that process. Because you know, here’s the thing back To the patterns, if you’re not asking yourself questions, those types of questions on a regular basis, it’s not likely that you’re gonna have good answers. And that’s not that’s good. That’s not to say you can’t, it’s just you haven’t until you haven’t built that muscle.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 12:12 That’s great. It’s not saying that you can’t, but that you just haven’t. That’s awesome. That’s a great phrase on that, and especially to someone who may be saying, Well, I don’t want to travel as much or I don’t want to be overweight, or I don’t want to be so disconnected with my family. Obviously, the opposite of that ultimately becomes what you want which kind of leads into this next question of how much of a difference does your road habits in your road routines make on the road? Like you’re talking about getting into the patterns into the grooves of that so how much of a difference does that really make?

 

Nick Davies 12:43 All the difference. All the difference. I was working with a client this morning. So he has a couple of different companies but he has a job as well. And, and the difference between one week to the next was absolutely monumental. About how he felt about it.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 13:00 Interesting how so?

 

Nick Davies 13:01 And he so he the distinction he made was that he shared with me that I’m, I tend to be a night person. Think about that. But that’s just a belief he shared. I tend to be a night person. And you know, what is a belief? Belief is nothing but something that we’re really certain about. And because he’s believed by himself was that I tend to be a night person. His behavior supports that belief. And that led to him getting up later and later, staying up later and later, not being where he needs to be delivering. And so the commitment he made based on that distinction, now awareness was I’m going to start to get up at this time, no matter what. And the result of that was that he got exponentially more done in the week, but forget the result. He felt fantastic. When you feel great, you do great things. And I think that’s so important, especially going out on the road because the environments continuously changing around you. So you want to create as much structure as you can to enable yourself To be as successful, even with the flexibility of that how that environment might change. So you can control.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 14:09 And that’s good, Nick. So going back to the question of what do I really want? By getting that question answered can help us to potentially from what I’m hearing from you, yep, maybe redesign our habits or our road routines, or our patterns to be able to fit exactly what we ultimately want to become. Can you unpack that a little bit more?

 

Nick Davies 14:30 Absolutely. So if you’re, and part of my career, and the traveling that I did, was joyful for me because it wasn’t so much it was like, Okay, I get an opportunity to go to a different country. Wow, I get to visit the people that I talk to on a regular basis. I get to see different cultures a little bit of that, what’s gonna pay for it, this is gonna be great. And so it was more like an adventure for me. So my outcome, my goal, what I want was just to enjoy the experience. Okay, I’m going to take away can I’m going to I’m gonna, probably not, I’m going to get away from my regular patterns and just enjoy it.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 15:06  because you because you’re the attitude and the mindset of adventure.

 

Nick Davies 15:09 Yes, yes, exactly. Whereas, whereas if my goal was my outcome was what I want was that this is an integral part of me being successful in my business or my career. And I’ve got to be much more precise about the way that I do that. I can’t just be adventurous by doing it, I’ve got to create the parameters of something I’m doing on a regular basis. So my behavior is going to be much more different than on the venture side, I’m going to, I’m going to stay out and have that late dinner, maybe I would have a couple of drinks. Now maybe I’m going to miss a workout in the morning. So I’m there for the adventure takeaway comes. But if my overall goal is to maximize myself, from my business for the company I’m working for now I want to make sure I’m getting very precise about that. I need to know how I can show up in my best. I’m going to be doing the big meeting, and I’m going and I’m going to be doing the social part of it but a time I’m gonna be straight back to my room so I can prep, I can sleep. So I can go work out and make sure that I’m in the right possible for the best possible frame for the next day so that that part is so important.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 16:10 So this is actually really good because I think you’re, you’re leveraging in you know, the desire for adventure, but also not at the cost of what is the ultimate goal of the business trip. So for example, somebody could choose to have an adventure as part of the trip or adventure is to say, Hey, I’m going to try you know, this food in New Orleans or I’m going to try whatever or I’m going to visit, you know, this sightseeing place right in here, which is adventurous, but not at the ultimate cost of whatever my overall goal is, of the business trip. So it kind of leads into one question to ask you is, well, how do you create focus while traveling for business? Because if obviously, you’ve got a lot of things that are going on, sometimes focus becomes the hardest area because of all these other variables. You know, travel friction, if you will, that’s kind of biting you on a given business trip. How does focus come into play?

 

Nick Davies 16:59 There’s a Really cool duality here right it’s the one that jumps right out for me Brian is precision, the more precise you can be around the things that you know that serve you the best. For instance, I need to soon as I get off the plane get to my hotel, the first thing I do is always have a workout. For instance, I always need to make sure that I get up by a certain time I set my clock straightaway and have the workout every morning whatever that is, you getting really precise on it, because the more precision you can have on those but the scaffolding if you like, the template of what your traveling looks like, the more freedom that you can actually have in expressing your artistry of maximizing your not only the adventure of it but also the business side of it as well. So there’s that duality that the irony of, Okay, one side I need to get really structured and precise. That’s going to actually allow me to have more fun and create more and be more business-wise and fun wise. So that find that balance for what you need. Play around with it, and be curious about it, what works for me? and be honest, because we all really know, we’re being honest. We already know what those things are for us.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 18:10 Well, I love man, there’s just so much there and precision around the areas that produce your best results. I mean, I think that’s just what’s really, really powerful. And to your point to Nick, I think sometimes we just we’re not aware, we’re not thinking about it, we’re not intentional, we just go out and do our road life. We just do the deal. And we don’t always realize how it’s affecting us how it’s benefiting us, but also how it affects other people. And one area that I really resonated with you and we had our conversation was really kind of on that power of connecting with other people and the energy of this there and how are we presenting our best self and what are they receiving out of that? So how, how do you leverage the power of connection as a business traveler with meeting new people or coming in for a window of time and then leaving so can you drill down on that a little?

 

Nick Davies 19:01 Yeah, I mean, first of all, wow, what a gift it is to be a business traveler. What a gift. You get to go to all of these different places you get to decide to bring your best self to it to build relationships change lives in the moment. How cool is it when someone comes in sweeps into your business sweeps into your life, they come with this massive energy. And they come with a perspective, which is it, which is what we don’t see so often something that just takes things to the next level, you get to go in and be that person, impact people and then go to the next one and do the same thing. Again. I want to underscore that point. Because it’s so important that we have to think of it as a gift. It’s a great thing of what we’re doing right now. Right? That’s the start point. And that’s the mindset. And then it’s thinking about all those things as relationships because ultimately business is relationships, business is relationships, and so that thinking it from that point, okay, it’s a gift. And everything here is about relationships. How do you take all of the patterns that you see there’s that word again, the patterns that you. See from all of the people that you’re privileged to work with and interact with, and bring those to the next person? The best parts of that, that conversation, the best parts of that relationship, put it into that next relationship, and so on and so forth and kind of continue to play that around and just be there for people, especially in the environment right now. Like, if you’re in a car, right now, this thing, if you’re at the airport, getting on it, get on an airplane, if you’re thinking okay, cool. I’ve got that big meeting coming up for me, but just think about the people side of it. But like, how can you in the next interaction you have, give what that person needs, I can just get a deeper connection. And if that’s all you ever focus on just getting that little bit deeper connection. That alone is gonna stand you in fantastic stead been super successful of whatever your chosen field is.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 20:51 So let’s drill down and I think you’ve kind of hit a nerve here. I think the easiest thing is that we’re just not aware of the impression we’ve left on others. So I think when we do raise that awareness You’re really talking about how can I get a deeper connection? So let’s just ask the obvious question on that, especially even somebody introverted or they just kind of do their deal, and then they just go on to the next their next meeting or next appointment. Why is that deeper connection important? So we’re going to quantify that, like, what’re the results of that? If I have to make the effort to have that deeper connection?

 

Nick Davies 21:23 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we always want to be coming back to the results for sure. Because you know that otherwise, it’s just a nice conversation, we’ve got to pull those things together. We want to see the results. We always want tangible results for sure. And let’s do it in a way that we enjoy it right? Because ultimately, everything happens under the banner of rapport. And the more that rapport that you can build with someone, the more relationship relational currency you have with someone. So really think about like a bank account that you have with someone, the more that you can pull yourself into that relationship and create more currency, the more opportunity that things are going to pop up. As I was saying, The harder I work the luckier I get. Obviously, the harder that is, it’s I love it. All right, you too, the more that you put into something, the more you’re going to get out. And the thing that we often don’t see, or tend to disregard, is that we want this or expect some sort of instant feedback, instant gratification if I do this for you right now what do I get. And of course, that’s not really the way that the world works, but it’s giving value for value sake, how can I make things better for you? And often, in fact, I’d go too far and say, all the time, that will come back to you. the way it comes back to you, you don’t know. But again, having that acute awareness of knowing that if I pour into this relationship, if I give the most I can to give bringing value to this person, somewhere along the line, it’s gonna come back to me a couple of years down the line, they’re gonna say, hey, look, I can, I’ve got a fantastic favorite introduction with you. And they’re gonna introduce you to where the leverage is that that currency. So I would say it’s everything. And it’s, it’s, we want to make sure we’re always tying it back to the results as you talk about Brian. But make sure that you can see that for yourself. I’m willing to bet that and if you look at your business results over the last six months, think about where that came from. Think about and I’m willing to bet that come from your strongest relationships that you have in your business. I bet you could tie those relationships back the one instruction you got before that, and the one before that as well. And it’s all going to come down to the relationship.

 

Bryan Paul Buckley 23:31 We’ll be back for the remainder of this interview after this short break.

Bryan Paul Buckley 23:43 Overseeing a business travel team is a challenge, especially when you just want consistent results. Is that too much to ask? There is a grind of business travel that has two levels of costs if you consider the first is obviously the business traveler. Secondly is the company When your business travelers only a short flight away from burnout due to the stress of the road, they’re costing you money and results in the entire world. According to the Kingston study, 45% of the 200 frequent business travelers surveyed reported higher stress levels than normal while on work trips, and 31% said they’ve experienced emotional exhaustion, which is one of the major risk factors of burnout, and this is on a weekly basis. Another study showed 80% of those who have experienced mental health problems, aka stress on the road, have never told their employer and you need to know. You may not even realize burnout could cost you up to 200% of their salary. And this doesn’t even factor in the loss of productivity of that person, going from busy to beat down to burnout. These stats are staggering. Yet most companies continue to do business as usual or in this case, business travel as usual, why? Too many companies who have business travelers and especially those that lead the road where teams are just simply unaware of any signs of burnout. And as a result, Elite Road Warrior Group has done the heavy lifting for you. We’ve created a resource called seven early warning signs for companies to avoid business travel burnout. And you can find this absolutely free PDF resource at eliteroadwarrior.com Get your copy of the seven early warning signs for companies to avoid business travel burnout at eliteroadwarrior.com

Bryan Paul Buckley 25:43 There are some guys in Southern California that I’ve known for a decade and I’ve represented different companies mostly on contract work kind of coming in as a brand specialist, corporate trainer, and every time that I come back to them with a different company, they’re automatically thrilled to hear from me. Hey, what’s the update What’s going on? You know, at that point, hey, what do you need, you know, hey, you need to get back in here, y’all for another training into here. And it was super cool. Because really just even a couple of years ago, and one of the guys had mentioned before he got any gun use that as a moment. He’s the head guy. It’s all these sales guys, not 50 sales guys. And he says to them, he says, Hey, Bryan’s here right now because of the power of connection. And he said, I’ve known him for 10 years, and whatever it comes in whatever he’s promoting, or selling or, you know, endorsing, I’m gonna go with because I like and I trust Bryan. But Frank and I have been out a number of times just talking or you know, working to take care of his customers taking them out to eat. And there’s that you to your point, that rapport, that relationship, that deeper connection. Now, obviously, to your point earlier, you don’t always know when that’s going to come back to when, or benefits from the result, but it has over and over and over and over. Sometimes it’s a year later. Sometimes it’s three years later, sometimes it’s six months later depends on the contract that has come out to be true. So, man, that is a really, really good point on there, Nick. So what are some ways that we can improve in the area of connection with people on the road?

Nick Davies 27:07 Yeah, and I just before I answer that, if I may, Bryan, just come back to your point because people tend to dismiss that. They’ll see in other people, oh, why did that guy get that deal? Oh, it’s just because he’s got a good relationship, just because they like each other, meaning that it’s something that they can’t do anything about, which of course, is not the case, right? And so you can actively work on those relationships and two answers that will lead to your question, right? So just be aware of those like, you tend to dismiss it all. But that’s what they’re just that’s just how the relationship that this guy has. That’s just who he is. You get to choose who you want to be.

Bryan Paul Buckley 27:47 That’s good.

Nick Davies 27:48 And so what are the practical applications? How can you do this? Again, back to that what a precision part should be part of your on the road program. Who are the people that I’m going to see on this trip, or this part of this trip that are the most important, and what do I know about them? And what is it? How can I? How can I strengthen the depth of relationship? How can I really listen? It’s going to start from that. If you can go and say I’ve met this guy, there are so many people that I’ve talked to met over the years and clients I see oftentimes from a, from an individual point of view, a business point of view. Well, they have relationships with people they’ve had for 10 years. But those relationships are still surface. And so it’s going to come back to well, listening, and really understanding about people and I think one of the biggest things, why coaching is so powerful is because we’re not playing on the surface. We’re getting to learn stuff about the people, if you’ve got five people in the next three days that you know, they’re going to be impactful to your business. You like to get on with and you respect. Ask some questions. What else is going on in your life? At least I don’t know about you. Learn. Get curious to make some notes put that down part of your precision.

Bryan Paul Buckley 29:03 Oh, what did you say? Take notes. Why?

Nick Davies 29:07 Absolutely. Yeah. Hey, if it’s not written down doesn’t exist. It’s my belief.

Bryan Paul Buckley 29:12 And so then especially when you’re on other cities, you know, and you think you’re gonna remember, you know, it reminds me, Nick of a quote, my dad used to say, hated as a kid. He said, You know, you talk about, he said, If you ask people questions, they’ll talk to you for hours. If you talk about yourself, they’ll listen to you for minutes. And so true, right. And one of the things that a mentor of mine taught me was just the power of using LinkedIn. So I can get on to somebody’s profile, I’m going to visit you know, Jeff Johnson, for example. And I realized, Oh, you know, well, he went to, you know, he went to Ohio State University, and I could teach him like, I’m from the University of Michigan and get the IRA all riled up. I’m saying, or my case, being a Cubs fan, you know, and being Cardinals or whatever, you know, you find that that level of connection on there to your point, get personal, to remember that, you know, they’ve got kids or they’re a big sports fan of this, or they like this for that, and that level of resonance that can be able to create from that. So any additional thoughts or ideas on the power of connection on the road?

Nick Davies 30:12 Absolutely. And, you know, I’m making notes, I’m always making notes. I’m always writing things down, right? Just to that point, you’ve got to do that. Because you can’t do that, we have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts every day. 85% of those are the same. They’re the ones that aren’t, we’re not going to remember we’ve got to write stuff down as an important thing to think about. So let us extend that right. Because to your point, everyone’s favorite subject is themselves and doesn’t come from an ego perspective. It just is right because they’ve always got stuff to talk about. I’d extend think about private as a coach, we, we create something which we call wow system, which is basically just creating those moments where you have people that are important to you great relationships that you can make and go Wow. What does that look like? I’m picking up okay, well, Bryan’s a Cubs fan. Right, good. Well, out but now No, no, no, let’s be specific. Okay, well, as we’re going through a relationship and I see something that is, is related to the Cubs, hey, I’m gonna get that I’m gonna give that to Bryan. Thinking of you. How cool is this? There you go. And so it doesn’t have to be stuff you buy people can be moments. Hey, thinking of you dropping your text today because I know it’s your anniversary. Congratulations. Do you want to be today? I offer you that challenge. Be the best. How do you want to be the best version of yourself? So it’s having that sensory acuity to listen to people to understand where they are, what’s important to them, and just offer that on a sincere, authentic level. And people appreciate that.

Bryan Paul Buckley 31:39 But Nick is so good, man. Man, it’s so good especially on the listening and picking up on the details. Yeah, my wife and I joke around our favorite parts of a segment of a movie was Dumb and Dumber when the two guys are sitting in them in the bathtub and I think it was Lloyd says you know to say why does Freida wanna break up with you anyway, it’s as well as she said I was in a Very good listener. Well, what else did she say? I don’t know, I really wasn’t paying attention. You know, it’s first of all, great writing, man. I mean, like, into little, you know, a little back and forth there. That’s awesome writing. But it’s very, very true that if people are willing to ask a question, being willing to listen to the answer, especially too if you’re looking as an opportunity to build rapport and build a connection with there, so I mean, Nick, I mean, we could spend hours on this, I mean, this would be a really good thing to come back on another episode and unpack a little bit more there because I think you’ve got a lot of gold in that area. So but let’s go talk about as a coach, what differences do you see in those who prioritize personal development? And those that don’t because energy habit number five is “develop personally and professionally”. So how do you see the differences for those who take that seriously in their lives? And what are the results what are their changes if you can unpack that?

Nick Davies 32:54 I love this question so much. Thank you. It’s everything because the default in life is the erosion of the quality of our life. Things don’t say that I get better. That’s a great quote, the default in life is the erosion of the quality of our life. Things do not get better by themselves. If you leave something alone, it gets worse. And we have to be very intentional about that. And what was the thing that we all have is our biggest asset. It’s us, we are our biggest asset. And so think about it. If you don’t invest in you, you’re moving towards something that can’t be sustained. And even if you’re happy with where you are, which I would challenge most people one because there’s always more progress equals happiness. Even if we got everything Hey, why do people that have everything quote, unquote, get bored and fed up? Because they’re not moving forward. They’re not growing. And so there’s always something that doesn’t matter where you are different part of your life, it’s so important to really invest in you. And that’s why I think it’s the most important thing, hey, look, what are you worth? How much are you investing in you? Because you that’s the only way you’re gonna get a payback from that. There’s no limit there. And so I would think about that, like, how actively are you using your resources to invest back into you? Maybe that’s money. Maybe that’s time. There are two main things we’re talking about here. Maybe it’s both together. How do you know that you’re getting the right return that you need? Are you really asking yourself honest questions? Are you willing to do the work? Are you willing to put yourself out there and be vulnerable about it? And look, ultimately, if you want to have a different level of life and play this game, a more fulfilling level, you’ve got to become that person. You’ve got to become that person first. You can’t get, you can’t make a billion dollars and then say, Okay, now I’m going to work on being the person I need to be there has a billion dollars, you become that person first. And then it appears That’s why people that win the lotto win $10 million in the lottery, lose it all because they’re not a person that has that type of money

Bryan Paul Buckley 35:08 Impressively quick, impressive. Right? So Nick, do you find that the reason people don’t develop or dive into personal development or push back on personal development on the two reasons that you gave because of money and time? Do you find that those are legitimate reasons/excuses when What’s your impression of that? I mean, obviously, when you’re talking about people are coming to you or exploring potentially coaching with you? What are their push backs of that and how valid are they?

Nick Davies 35:37 Yeah, it’s funny to me I love the excuses is what we tend to think about. I like to think about it also stories, you know, we’re always telling ourselves a story, but we’ve got this continual narrative of why we do justify the why are we doing things that we’re doing good or bad, you know, and so if your story is that, you know, “I just haven’t got enough money to invest in me right now.” “I don’t think that right now I’m in the right place.” And my favorite is, “I’m not ready.” Because if you unpack that, like, what does that really mean? You’re not ready to start? It’s the chicken and the egg scenario. Yeah, seriously, you know, so so it’s either just ask yourself that real question. I know that there are some realities of life and, and not everyone is always in the right place for coaching. And maybe that’s not the right situation, I get that. That’s absolutely fine. You know, ask yourself, what, what, where are you letting yourself off the hook right now? Are you in a place where you really have everything? Just comes back down to that, that honesty again, the questions that we don’t generally ask ourselves, and if you were the best place to start is at the beginning. We just get scared. Our mind is there not make us happy or we will have this 2 million-year-old mind we’ve heard about the other reptilian mind, monkey mind, whatever you want to call it. It’s there for survival. So we don’t die. So we don’t get attacked by saber-toothed tigers, we run up trees look after ourselves. That’s what, that’s what it’s there for it does a great job.

Bryan Paul Buckley 37:08 And I try to see other cities right now now that I’ve advanced, just so you know, not running up trees. Well, it’s just part of my adventure for the trip. But no, you’re exactly right. So what are some questions then Nick, that we could begin to unpack? So let’s say we’re, you know, just from the one we hear all the time, at least that I hear all the time has to do with time is I don’t have enough time I’m on the road, I barely have enough time to get my work done, let alone sleep or let alone eat healthier, let alone You know, personally develop which is usually the last of the energy habits for somebody to really really drill down into, which obviously could sometimes be their biggest benefit by doing that personal professional development. So what are some questions that maybe somebody who’s on the road listening to this has already gone man, I’m so busy right now, and start to think through that maybe some of these you’ve already unpacked already.

Nick Davies 37:56 Yeah, I love it. I mean, this I mean, I’ll challenge your own story. If you hear yourself saying haven’t got enough time and enough time? That’s the story. Is it really true? Do you want it to be true? If no, are you willing to change something? That’s the question you’ve got to ask yourself, are you willing to change? Because if you can honestly ask, just answer that and say no. Then you are where you are. You have to be willing to change. Because now you could, you could apply some specific actions towards that. And a great way to think about it would be okay, well, I just need to see what’s really true and track my day. Where am I actually spending my time? when I’m traveling? How much time on the plane? Am I just sitting there staring into space? When I actually use him? Am I actually watching movies? If you’re watching Netflix, any time of the day ever, you’ve got time.

Bryan Paul Buckley 38:47 That’s honesty. That’s true.

Nick Davies 38:50 That’s brutal honesty. And so so to do something like a tracker to show yourself where you’re spending your time, you won’t do that unless you’ve decided for yourself to answer the question. Whether you’re willing to investigate whether you’re willing to do something different, give yourself permission. That’s the first thing. But the tools. Gosh, they’re there. I’ve got as many tools as there is my, my arm is long. It’s just Are you willing to use them or not? Because oftentimes, it’s like, well, how do I do this? How do I do it? How do I do it? What’s the best thing to do here? What’s the best tool? And also release the best one is the one that you will actually use on the downswing.

Bryan Paul Buckley 39:28 And a tool that’s actually getting you back to the original point. Where do you want to go? who you want to be? And are you willing to stop and ask those questions? And sometimes the road really can be that I mean, think about it, Nick. We do have you referenced the airplane, you know, if I’m flying from Chicago to San Diego, for example, or Seattle, I got four-plus hours, man, I got time to do about all those things. I got time to be able to read I got time to ride. I got time to check the email. I’ve got time to watch a 30-minute show. I got a chance to what have you got a lot of time that’s there. Just a matter of how do we leverage those windows of time early morning. I’m not getting kids out of school, my wife to school, on a business travel day when I’m not traveling for business. So you’re right, there are windows of times. And to use your analogy, if you have time to watch Netflix, you have time. So I think that’s a great, great analogy. So let’s put a bow on this here. Any closing thoughts you’ve got from the kind of the journey we’ve had on this conversation.

 

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Transcription

Bryan Paul Buckley 0:00
Episode 80 of the Elite Road Warrior podcast. Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast where we believe you can leverage the road to transform your work, health and home life while on business travel to ultimately master the business travel life. If you’re a road warrior, and a great chance you’re on the road right now then this podcast is for you.

Buckley Kiddos 0:31
You’re listening to our dad on Season Two of the Elite Road Warrior podcast brought to you by the Buckley Kids. This is Trey. This is Kole. This is Kaleb. This is Kaitlyn. This is Austin. Make connecting with your family a priority on the road.

Bryan Paul Buckley 0:51
Thank you Buckley kiddos and welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast. I’m your host Bryan Paul Buckley fellow road warrior whether I’m home or not. Husband of one and father five, and always looking for creative ways to keep this podcast fresh. And as a result today’s episode is well, it’s unique and we’ve only done it a few times. It’s called an interview mashup. I’ve taken clips from five interviews, a keynote speaker in hypnosis Wayne Lee in Episode 64, the author and productivity expert Marcey Rader in Episode 66, world-renowned entertainer and impersonator, John Di Domenico in Episode 74, Road Warrior, Justin Pugh in Episode 76, an author and keynote speaker Jake Thompson, in Episode 78. And the best part of the Elite Road Warrior mashup is if you missed any of these interviews, you get a free sample size of the impactful content of the full interview and of course, at no additional charge. So let’s hear from our experts. It’s go time.

Bryan Paul Buckley 2:10
Let’s kind of drill into a little bit about sleep. How well do you sleep on the road? Are there any tricks that you do to kind of help you to be able to rest for that quality of sleep that you need to get to do what you do?

Wayne Lee 2:19
Yeah, great question. First of all, there’s been I think, over time, lots of misconceptions about sleep, like people say, Well, you can just, you know, sleep when you’re dead. Actually, if you don’t sleep, you’re gonna die. The fact of the matter is that I think sleep is such an important part of recharging our battery, of really resetting ourselves. Fortunately, I’m a good sleeper. Now. I think I’ve worked at that too. You know, my background is in hypnosis.

Bryan Paul Buckley 2:45
So okay, so wait, you said something that was very intriguing to me. You said you worked at sleep?

Wayne Lee 2:50
Yeah.

Bryan Paul Buckley 2:50
I want to make sure you unpack that because you said that seems like an oxymoron. shouldn’t just sleep be natural. How did you do that? So I want to make sure that that comes in with your background with hypnosis and all.

Wayne Lee 3:00
Well, first of all, I have always been really intrigued with the power of the mind. And when I had seen hypnosis I was very intrigued what it was all about. And I’ve realized, you know, after doing so many shows and events and hypnotizing so many people is that everything we do is a form of hypnosis. We’re hypnotized by what we see in the environment, hypnotized by our own self talk or thoughts, as well as other people. And so people have programmed, whether unconsciously, subconsciously, or consciously how they sleep. Now, I’m not saying that some people naturally just sleep better than others, yet, we all have this capacity to tell ourselves, I’m going to have an awesome sleep, I’m going to create the right environment. You’ve got these great metaphors in life that are conducive to sleeping better for better like you know, just nature itself.

Bryan Paul Buckley 3:47
And so I’ve done a lot of self-hypnosis to program myself to relax my mind and sleep really well. And focusing in on the positive also helps you sleep really, really well because a lot of times people that are kept up at night or not kept up at night by accident is probably they’re not aware of what they’re focusing upon in regards to the negative, nasty thoughts they have that they’re actually circulating that keep them up. An example would be when somebody says I can’t sleep well, the word can’t is actually creating a feedback loop of reinforcing why they can’t sleep. And so the language and what people focus upon all has to do with how they sleep. And for myself, again, I sleep pretty well. And some of the things that may have attributed to that, because I think there’s a number of things is one exercising, eating the right foods eating nutritiously as well as programming your mind, and programming your mind with meditation, with guided imagery with self-hypnosis that’s helped a lot.

Bryan Paul Buckley 4:47
And I’m really glad you said that because it really comes down to our mindsets, and what we’re telling ourselves. I mean how many times have you heard too, Wayne, I really don’t sleep well in a hotel room, or my first night is always my worst night. Or whatever is and it is that self-talk. So I really, really appreciate you saying that along with a direct correlation of how much you’re moving – energy habit number one, the food and the fuel we put into our body – energy habit number two, how would we think about sleep energy? habit number three. So those are awesome. And it kind of leads into obviously, if you’re getting a good night’s rest, it’s allowing you to have the energy to do what you do.

Bryan Paul Buckley 4:47
So unpack a little bit more about how you keep your energy up so that you can perform at a very high level. And obviously, you’re on stage in front of hundreds and sometimes thousands of people. And you’ve gotta be on the A+ game, not the A- game So what attributes to that energy level?

Wayne Lee 5:00
So what attributes to that energy level was it’s all the things that you just said they’re like, you know, like, I think all those have a contributing factor in terms of the combination of everything so you’ve got your, you know, the exercise, the diet or nutrition, the mindset of what you’re focusing on at any given time. I also think beyond those things that we’ve done. We can unpackage it comes down to a mindset of being willing to do whatever it takes. And what I mean by that is that I’ve done this thing so many times that I could be sick, I could have the flu, I could be hungover, I could be drunk, and I get on stage and I rise to the occasion. Because I know that’s what I need to do is I need to get into the game and serve those people make them laugh. And maybe it comes to a bit of fear, too, is that oh my goodness, I don’t do this. I’m not fulfilling my obligation, my promise my commitment to those people. So at a deep level, I think it’s it’s a soul commitment. It’s a commitment that I love to do this. And no matter what gets in my way, I’m going to do it. So a big part of that we can call that the mindset. And trust me, I’ve been there numerous times where I didn’t feel great or I’ve lost my voice and I step up and I pull it out. So whatever comes over me I think starts in a, if we call an intention. It’s my intention to do that and the energy comes when I need it. Because I also know once I finished my presentation or my show and I step off and I get back home, I might have a downturn and that’s time to recharge.

Bryan Paul Buckley 6:38
So, Marcey, how can we get anything done on the road with all the demands of business travel? What’s your thoughts on that?

Marcey Rader 7:42
Business travel poses unique challenges for a lot of people when it comes to getting things done? For one thing, just not being at home to get the things like you know, your oil change or your clothes dry cleaned. Or, you know, just making the appointments, the physical appointments that you need to do. But then also, your schedule is not your own when you travel for business. And you know, you are at the whim of the airlines, and sometimes other people’s meetings and when you think you’re going to be in the hotel at six o’clock to then get a workout in your plane was delayed, you don’t get there till nine you are toast, you can’t do it. And so to me, you cannot be just a fly by the seat of your pants person when you travel for business.

Marcey Rader 8:35
Now, on the other hand, there are a lot of people that will say I get more done when I travel for business. I’m one of those people, depending on what the situation is. Because, you know, if I’m not at home with my husband, and I’m just in a hotel room by myself, I don’t mind working a little bit later. On planes, I can get a lot of stuff done on the plane and I have made it a habit for the last 15 years to try to do as many things on the road that I would do at home. Like, you know, a monthly massage, or if I need to get my nails done or, or anything like that, um, you know, I’ll try to do as much as I can when I’m traveling.

Bryan Paul Buckley 9:19
And that’s a great response. And I think it really dives into mindsets. So speaking of that, let’s just get into some nuts and bolts of business travel. They’re just part of business travel, email on the road can be the ultimate time stealer. So how can we tame this let’s call it a never satisfied beast and you referenced this a lot in your current book right now? Sure. So email is it’s one of the areas that I coach people on, typically where I coach them first when they come to me for productivity coaching. And the most important thing to realize is that you train people how you react if you are…

Bryan Paul Buckley 10:00
Say that again, Marcey, there was gold.

Marcey Rader 10:03
Yeah, you train people how you react. So if you react immediately to an email, then people will respect you, or I’m sorry, expect you to react immediately to an email. I process email twice a day. And no one has ever told me I did not respond quickly enough. People do not expect me to respond immediately. And notice I said, respond and not react. So if you are an immediate reactor, then that’s different than a responder. And so thinking about first how you train people, but then also creating some boundaries around that, you know, if you start emailing people six in the morning, then you’re going to start getting emails back at 615. From some imagine that Yeah, so don’t start the conversation unless you want the conversation.

Marcey Rader 10:58
So think about your time boundaries and then I am all about different systems and tools and extensions that you can use to save yourself from yourself and you know appropriately filter and create rules many of those can be used for business travelers. You don’t have to be you know your regular stay at home or you know have an office job person almost all of them you could also use for business travel even have one section on hotel toiletries, and purging the hotel toiletries and anybody here come on our travels Yeah, you know, you have that bag of little pint-size shampoos and conditioners and things. What are you holding on to them for?

Bryan Paul Buckley 11:47
Only the good stuff now, I’ve purchased myself to only the best of the best, but I honestly I love the book and actually have the audio version and also the Kindle version with that and the reason why is because there’s just so much more valuable content and like you referenced Marcey, you know, the novice, and then there’s the Pro. And then there’s the master level, and the different areas. And so a lot of times, it’s a matter of just reviewing it. And then going back to the printed version, in my case, digital, that I can reference and me, and my wife and I worked on a few of those, this past weekend, I was getting the book. And going through some of those, I’ve been taking some of those tactics about, you know, on the digital side. So I’m on a plane, and I’ve got a chunk of time that I can work through and do this. So there’s a lot that can be done. And obviously you reference that with email.

Bryan Paul Buckley 12:45
So let’s kind of unpack some of these that you’ve already mentioned. Your role is unique. The first energy habit is move, you know, how do we like we talked about you know how to earn more, walk more, run more look more. So for you though, I mean, especially depending on your gig, as you had just mentioned, you’d be on the stage for 20 minutes as an emcee, kind of do an in-betweens or hype or whatever, right? And then boom, you may be sitting down for a while. There’s other times where I mean, you’re, you’re the guy, you’re the entertainer. And you know, you’re full-on two, four, six, eight hours with that. So what does movement look like for you out? I mean, obviously, part of your performance, but then, as you kind of mentioned, you know, having to do these hit workouts in building your stamina, what does that look like now for you? Right?

John Di Domenico 13:25
Maybe specifically, when I’m on the road or on the road, one of the things you and I had mentioned, because when you’re on the road, and you’re doing these type of things, especially these big shows, your time is not your own, because all of a sudden, like the CEO is only available like 530 in the morning for rehearsal, because the general is at 8am. So you have to be really and I know that some people are like I have to work out at a very specific time. You’ve got to drop all that. You’ve just got to be ready when that window opens for a walk. If that’s all you can put in for a run. If you can get a swim in whatever it is, do that you’ve got to grab that window, a lot of people’s time are a little more structured because of what I do. And there’s constantly rewriting and updating of scripts. It’s a little tougher for me. So I and in the beginning, I was like, I’ll work out tomorrow all worked out, you know, I’ll do it later. And we all know what that goes. Yeah. And yeah, it goes nowhere. So what I’ve learned is when that window opens of 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and obviously, I’ve got my phone on me because things are constantly changing during these meetings. It’s just to get out there, even if it’s just a walk around the lake at you know, one of the Disney properties wherever you’re staying, just get out and have that moment, at least to let your mind refresh outside of that space. Because again, you mentioned burnout and these things can actually end up burning out if these days just never kind of end.

Bryan Paul Buckley 14:54
So let’s talk about food because obviously, in your situation and you’re dealing with, you know, massive, massive events and you may or may not have as much control as far as when you eat, what you eat, how much you eat or maybe eating too much. So let’s unpack that a little bit.

John Di Domenico 15:10
I this is a this is one of my worst areas because I’m we’re essentially production to backup house. It’s always there always carbo-loading for the production guys, and they don’t have to worry about that I do. So I you have to make it. It’s a lot of pasta. And it comes down to making those choices. I’m not 100% but I know mentally from doing this for years, backstage is going to be crap food, there’s gonna be choices. So I know going in like, I can’t have the pasta. I can’t have the mashed potatoes. I can’t have the little you know, Yukon, cold tomatoes. You know, maybe, maybe next week I can put it off. It’s always like if we can just get through the next three days? Three days, four days, five days, not eat this stuff. That’s all that. That’s all it is. And you know, I know that you probably read the book willpower. Yeah. So I never knew what decision fatigue was. But once I read that book, um, because you know, by that fourth day, right back, I’m having the pancakes at breakfast and everything else.

John Di Domenico 16:25
But if you made me justify everything else the rest of the day, yeah, and if you do a pre-decision, that’s what I call it, if you make a pre-decision, that you know, crap is going to be on that table, but there’s going to be healthy options, because most productions know that, you know, they’ve got to have a style that you make a pre-decision to eat, right. And I know, if you do that, I mean, and I mean, visualize it, like you’re going to see that table of all that food. You’re going to go to the green beans at lunch and the chicken and leave off the strawberry shortcake. And it’s tough because it’s right in front of you, but make that pre-decision in advance. Because out of all those people, the only people who have to be on stage is you, and maybe three VIP, you know, the Senior VP, out of all those people, none of those people have to worry about what they eat. I’m sure they do, but they don’t have to worry about it for their look on stage.

John Di Domenico 17:20
And that’s the one thing they’re paying us for, how we look on stage, how we present ourselves on stage, if it’s me, is me, or me as Donald Trump, and I always look tremendous, as Donald Trump, I have to tell you a fantastic, really, really incredible, you know, you always want to look apart. That’s why we’re there. They’re giving us the honor of performing in front of them. So, you know, that’s, that’s how I try to handle those situations. And that’s good on the food. I mean, it’s pretty sad. It’s big. Right? And we know we’re not on as much as we should be. Right? And there’s nothing worse than you know, not you know, your higher-level performer you know, your higher-level professional, you know, when you come off the stage and they’re like, Hey, wait a minute, that was not my best work exactly OK because of whatever reasons. So you always want to, you know, my goal and I think it’s all of us but is always to deliver that top tier performance no matter how stressful you’re under, they just changed the script or they want this or want that. You always want to deliver for them and if you can have that, you know, that sleep component that is going to give you that edge and give you that that higher level performance because that’s what we that’s why we’re there.

Bryan Paul Buckley 18:39
Absolutely.

John Di Domenico 18:40
You know me that’s why we they chosen us, there’s so many there’s so many keynote speakers, there’s so many posts that can be choosing from there’s so many, you know, I’m unique in what I do, but I’m not 100% unique. There’s other people who do what I do it I’m fully aware that there are many, many choices. So I want to be the guy they call it the time that means I have to deliver every single time that I can not skate. I can’t skate on the fact that I did a TV appearance on Conan O’Brien, do we? You know, like, they don’t care.

Bryan Paul Buckley 19:12
Exactly. You’re there to do a deal with them.

John Di Domenico 19:15
Right? It’s about, you know, it’s me for them. And then I always I’m really cognizant of that.

Justin Pugh 19:29
Bryan, I even now think about it when I think about my travel schedule. And I think some of your listeners will very much agree with me and, and probably align with this is we use it as a way to get away.

Bryan Paul Buckley 19:43
Very true.

Justin Pugh 19:44
Right, we use it as a way to get away and I found that I was using, you know, getting away from that situation, or that particular issue at home or whatever we use to get away and I find that like you said, if we center ourselves, travel become, this is what I have to do in order for me to get back home, to be with the family into and to feel that love. But I want to pick up on something that you said about that come to Jesus moment because I want to tell you what mine was really, really quick. And then and then right? I was in Virginia and I was in Alexandria we had just gotten I forgot where I was traveling in from all I know is I injured my toe pretty bad.

Justin Pugh 20:30
When I got to Alexandra I put my toe, you know guys it’s a hotel, I couldn’t find anything else. So I put my toe I put my foot inside the ice bucket. Okay, I couldn’t find anything else. So, so forgive me

Bryan Paul Buckley 20:42
Feel bad for the next guy

Justin Pugh 20:44
for the next guy. Anyway, I couldn’t find anything else. I put my foot inside this ice bath and inside this ice stuff. The next morning I woke up I’m getting ready for I’m getting ready to get to the meeting to go downtown and meet the next customer. I look in the mirror, I look in the mirror I’m brushing my beard getting ready, Bryan and I didn’t like what I saw, man. eyes are bloodshot and get into my disaster shower. I’ve been up for probably three or four hours probably had two cups of coffee

Bryan Paul Buckley 21:12
and this one you’re supposed to be looking good, man.

Bryan Paul Buckley 21:14
I’ve got on I’ve got on cologne. I’ve got my I got my clothes on foot, man. I’m dialed in, but I don’t look good. I don’t like what I see in the mirror. I am 20 pounds heavier. I’m 208 pounds. My typical weight guys like 190 All right, it’s just like me. That’s my fighting weight 208 I’m tired. My foot hurt. I’m disheveled. My beard. I hadn’t probably shaved my beard in probably, you know, probably two or three weeks. And at that point, I knew that was my come to Jesus moment. This made you look bad. And I felt that way. At my customer me I probably the worst decision I made was looking in the mirror that morning because the rest of the day was just a lack of confidence the entire day, you know? And that’s what that does to you. That’s what not attending to yourself and following your six habits, that’s what they do to you, it beats you down, and life will beat you into submission and you look up off the mat and you’re like, Where the hell am I? What happened to me?

Bryan Paul Buckley 22:12
Well, that guy follows us around in every single hotel. I’m like, How does he know where I am? But he follows me in every single mirror. And to your point, unless we do something about it, unless we have a, you know, something’s got to change moments, you know, whether it’s the words of your son, you know, waking you up a little bit, or these little moments that come along the way. And that’s the reason why Elite Road Warrior group exists. That’s why you know, the session that you heard on the six energy habits, or the Elite Road Warrior workshop, a live workshop or online consulting coming into a company, and really having those moments where we can think about our lives and our road lives and who we become. So then Justin, what would you say to a road warrior, who’s listening right now who needs to make some of these changes?

Justin Pugh 22:59
You got to look in the mirror, you gotta say something has to change. I know you’re there. I know I was there. All I mean, right. You know, you were there. Bryan, we both were you knew you knew you were there. And, in fact, we were there at the same time. We didn’t know it. That’s true. And it was. So right now, it’s recognizing that I am there. That’s step number one. Step number two is if you’re not a business owner, and you have to answer to somebody, it is now going to your leadership in saying, I need a break. And here’s why. And if you have good leadership, they’re gonna say, okay, Justin, I need you healthy, go get that break. If they’re bad leadership, and you have to evaluate who you’re working for. They’re going to tell you something, something different, but the first but the second step is to ask for help. The third step is to take that time that you have, right and you rest.

Justin Pugh 23:57
There’s a quote in your book in the afterword. I’m gonna read it really quick here it says. So Road Warrior when your road career’s done, how would you look back on it? What if you ended today? No more trips? What would you regret? Did you sacrifice your health and your home life at the cost of overworking What can you change? How can you change now by implementing a six energy habit of move fuel rest, form, develop, and connect that will transform your work health and home life on the road from now on? And if there’s anybody out there who’s listening, that you’re struggling with, you know, your you want to perform you mean very well. You know, Brian, and I know that that you mean well, and you want to do well, nobody gets up in the morning flies to Detroit to suck. Do you know what I mean? But, but you need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself first.

Bryan Paul Buckley 25:02
All right, that’s perfect. So let’s dive into the part that really stood out to me. And the first one I really really liked, which was never let the hard days win. And the first sentence in this chapter was great, it says bad days are inevitable in life. Letting them break you, is completely optional. So unpack this chapter or the concepts into never let the hard days when a man that’s a bunch on the road, when we’re traveling for business.

Jake Thompson 25:28
There’s a time And really, the core takeaway in this is the power is in how you respond and what you do next. That is kind of the core tenets. That was cool. Okay, so the core tenets of it are, how you respond to that challenge, bad day, adversity and what you do next because the most important part isn’t the failure the thing that happened to you that’s out of your control or that you caused it’s how you respond to it and what you do next. And so we think about life on the road, like Miss flights stuck in traffic. Hotel, overbooked doesn’t have a room for us. I mean, any number of things we drive to the wrong airport, which I’ve been known to do before, like, everything can go wrong. I have been that guy that’s done it once before and never again. But yeah, it’s that thing where bad things are going to happen. We’re going to have challenges sometimes we bring them on sometimes other things, bring them onto us. We can’t control that. But what we do control is how we respond to are you going to be the person that you’re running late for a flight because you got stuck in traffic, you’re going to be rude to every single person going through that airport because you’re annoyed that you’re late or you just gonna be like, I was late. I didn’t plan the schedule, right? This didn’t happen. I’m going to be cheer I’m going to go on. I’m going to be nice to those stewards and stewardesses on the airplane. I’m going to be cordial with the TSA guy who probably isn’t enjoying his day either. Like we get to choose how we respond and what we do next, which is the most important it’s once you get out of traffic. Once you get out of that delay, you sit down on that plane.

Jake Thompson 27:00
Are you laying and get your hotel, it’s training yourself to let go of what has already happened. So you can focus on what you need to do. I know with your work and with mine if we’re traveling, and we’re having to present or host a workshop or train, and all we’re thinking about is the previous 10 hours that has not gone according to plan, then we’re not going to be present during that training. And those people that are in that audience are not going to get our best moments, they’re not going to get our best work. And we’re going to be robbing them of experience to get better because we’re so consumed about the bad day, or the things that happen behind us instead of what’s most important, what we do next, being present, delivering to the best of our ability, and just rolling with it. And I think you know, as travelers, we have to be flexible and able to roll with some of those punches. And when we do that by just kind of maintaining that mindset of I can control this can’t control this. Here’s what I’m going to do next. Which kind of leads into a second of the not to secrets which was embraced the process and

Bryan Paul Buckley 28:00
I’m gonna put out one quote that you add man i thought was great life doesn’t award medals for how good you look at the starting line and awards them for how strong you run the race. So that leads into this embrace of process. So once we don’t let the hard days when we’re moving into embrace process, unpack that.

Jake Thompson 28:18
Yeah, so a couple of key pieces for this chapter, especially in relates to traveling and being on the road is the idea of just embrace the process of traveling, have the opportunities have the experiences. And the second piece is choosing progress over perfection. And so this first piece talking about embracing the process, it’s the idea of sometimes it’s tiring to be on the road, we can be worn out when we’re constantly traveling the hotel, the hotel, cab airplane, it’s exhausting on us. But what are we doing to take advantage of that experience? What are we doing to talk to the person next to us on the plane and maybe make a new network connection make a new front? What are we doing to when we go to a local city

Jake Thompson 28:59
Trying to local restaurants seeking out something new seeing something that we’ve never seen before that that was a big piece to me of. The first time I was traveling for work I’d be in and out as fast as I possibly can I would stay in the hotel I’d never venture out. And then after a year or two, I was like, Man, I’m going to some pretty cool cities, I’m missing opportunities to see things to embrace this I’m already here. Why don’t I learn to love the process of traveling as much as I do delivering the work? And so I would try to find local restaurants or for me it was kind of a donut shop Hunt was the fun thing I would do finding fun little off the beaten path finds, going to see different things making time out to embrace this thing. And then I found that travel was still as exhausting as it was before. But I had so many more experiences and stories and interactions which changed my entire perspective on the process. And then the second piece of progress over perfection. Every social setting we can be in is all about how perfect Can I How can I make sure I have it all together. And a lot of times when we take that perspective in life, we fail to try anything new, we fail to grow and push ourselves because we’re worried about not looking perfect. We’re worried what other people might think when in reality, we need to learn to build and grow and focus on how we’re just going to get better instead of what other people are thinking about. Our biggest fear of what other people are thinking about us is always so funny. Because we always to a degree struggle with it. But everyone’s thinking about what you’re thinking about them. They’re not thinking about you as much. And if they are really doesn’t matter, like you just put your head down and get better.

Jake Thompson 30:38
And one of the examples in the book is about stand up comedians, and how they go on stage and tell bad jokes. And they just work their material in these tiny off beaten path clubs, just to get better to get good enough to get great to have their Netflix special. Like they work that process and they’re not worried about the bad night or the bad jokes. They’re just saying how do I get better today. So for when we’re on the road, you’ve got pillars that you’re teaching people on how to apply. You may not hit the mark every day. But if you wake up the next day and say, How am I going to do better today with this? How am I going to be more intentional with that? That’s how you really lean into building that winning process and embracing it every step of the way.

Bryan Paul Buckley 31:27
I hope you found this unique episode of the interview mashup not only helpful but also challenge you to go back and listen to the full interview from each of the interviews. In this episode, Episode 64, with Wayne Lee, Episode 66 with Marcey Rader, Episode 74, with John Di Domenico, Episode 76 with Justin Pugh and Episode 78 with Jake Thompson. So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life the road for you to become an elite Road Warrior today. You got this!

 

Resources

Wayne Lee

Marcey Rader

John Di Domenico

Justin Pugh

Jake Thompson

 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

 

For most of us road warriors, we’ve been shut down from the road. Nobody could’ve ever predicted it would last this long and with still so much uncertainty.

I was recently talking to some friends and they asked me when the last time was that I had this long of a break from the road. I was trying to remember the longest stretch and I kept going back year after year, job after job, then decade after decade.

Unprecedented.

I thought for sure back in March when the health pandemic intensified that I would be traveling by this summer and definitely having a family vacation where we load my basketball team of kids and wife on a plane to go somewhere, but even that was canceled.

It’s the first time ever we’ve not been on a plane going somewhere over the summer.

Unprecedented.

Disappointing.

I wasn’t planning on traveling until this fall when all of a sudden an opportunity came up.

A team that I work with on a regular basis was getting together for some training and invited me. I was like a kid getting passed a note in school that asked me to check yes if you like me.

Where’s my Sharpie man? Hand it to me, quick! Not a second to spare. Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!

I couldn’t wait to look at flight options. My heart was racing just looking at hotels.

Now, to someone who is NOT a road warrior, they would instantly think something is wrong with me. And although many could argue that point in numerous ways, they would be talking about the rush a road warrior gets regarding Road Life.

But I cannot remember the last time I was so excited to just look at flights and hotels. It was this “quick hit” I’ve been without for some time.

I was so excited to go back and just “do my thing” even if it was a “one-off”. I was even looking forward to experiencing “the new norm of travel” right now even if it was going to be different, even frustrating.

I had a dream that night of being on the plane, picking out my cool rental car, sleeping in a hotel. A night of bliss.

Then it happened.

The company that hired me to do the training (not where I was going) had a change of heart on boarding a plane and entering this state with the recent spike.

Normally, I would be a little frustrated, more with having to cancel and reschedule. You know the drill when a trip’s plan changes.

Then I would feel mixed emotions with relief and excitement I didn’t have to go on a trip and would begin to think about what I would do with this “time off” and enjoy being home.

A rare break from the road in days of old. But I was seriously bummed out by the news.

It wasn’t a matter of disagreeing with the decision, but the reality this trip was not going to happen nor any other ones any time soon.

It was like the note sent to me in school from the cute girl that asked if I liked her only to find out they were actually asking me to pass the note to someone else. It wasn’t meant for me.

I moped around the house like my dog died, or the Bears lost their one playoff appearance in a decade. Sorry, I just went to a dark place. Joking aside, the reality is that only a road warrior can relate to what I’m talking about.

We’re in a very strange period right now with really strong feelings whether we recognize them or not.

I’ve talked to countless business travelers and the series of questions and comments goes like this:

1. Do you know when you’re going to be allowed to travel again?
2. How are you doing your job without traveling?
3. Will they make you travel any less when you finally go back?
4. What are you missing about the road?

With some people, the questions get a little more personal and revealing.

These questions and comments have led me to some of my own.

After listening to the common business traveler questions, I really thought about some questions that I’ve been struggling with and would be revealing of me and I found five specific ones that kept coming to the surface:

Question #1

Why was I so disappointed I couldn’t go on this recent trip?

I miss Road Life. It’s the mistress my wife openly knows about.

I like the adventure of going to new places, meeting new people, trying new foods, attending sporting events.

When I’m home I rarely go anywhere because I’m almost always on the road. I know everyone here and been everywhere here.

I was also disappointed I couldn’t go because it would’ve given me a taste of my old life as a road warrior. I’ve wanted it back since after a few weeks of road vacation but now I’m more than ready.

It would’ve given me hope we’re going to get back to business as usual, business travel that is…

This whole experience was very revealing to me and especially my wife.

Question #2

What have I discovered about myself these 1st four months of not traveling?

Between us girls, as someone who tries to live the six energy habits no matter where I am, I had a better road routine long-term than I did a home routine.

I also had a different home routine.

When I’m home during normal business travel, it’s not for very long and the dynamics are different because I’ve been gone.

During the school year, I have the house to myself with the kids at school along with my wife as a school teacher.

But the 1st three months everyone that looked and acted like me that bore my name was home. All. The. Time.

I’m also working too much. It’s too easy to pick up my MacBook Pro or iPad Pro and just start working even in the evening or over the weekend. I’ve never done that before at home.

And for more honesty, I’ve not done well with a monotonous routine. I thrive on variety and control of which both have been stripped of me quickly and for many months. And this has revealed some definite and needed areas of growth in me.

 

Question #3

What draws me to the road?

As I mentioned earlier, I love the variety – different places, different people, a different schedule, and of course different food. But it’s bigger than just the variety. I’m drawn to the ability to make my own decisions on the road at any time.

I thrive on and maximize my alone time to work out, read, write, and recharge from downtime (time to be, not to be on). I can really maximize many of the six energy habits by being alone: Move, Fuel, Rest, Develop and Connect.

I also love the challenge – often, it’s just me and what happens from the moment I leave my home to the moment I return, every detail of the trip including the results is on me.

I love the challenge of connecting with new people and making a positive lasting impression so much that they can’t wait for me to come back and are happy to see me when I do. It also changes the dynamic of the follow-up moving forward from calls to emails.

Bring on the pressure!

And to some, this would be just too much. Not a road warrior. And definitely not an elite road warrior. To know what draws you to the road, good or bad, is healthy to know.

Question #4

What if I can’t travel until September or even January?

Not going on this trip has jolted me into this reality. And I don’t like it but the words to the serenity prayer are applicable here: “Help me accept the things I cannot change…”

I’ve also talked to many business travelers who are being told either September or even January depending on the size or nature of their business.

To be honest, it was a blow to hear of a September or even January travel restart. I’m not gonna lie or sugarcoat my feelings.

But it is what it is and I have to accept that I still have at least two more months of home life at the time of this recording with my only travel in an all-too-common sleep dream of being on a plane or at a hotel.

I can’t be the ONLY one having them, right? I see that hand.

I also have to accept that the restart may not be exactly when or the way I want it to be or have envisioned. Imagine that.

But at this point, I’m ready for a new challenge.

This leads to the fifth and final question…

Question #5

What do I need to change? (Start/Stop/Do More /Do Less)

I don’t want to answer this question but I need to answer this question and I suggest you do too.

Initially, I was in survival mode. Everything was so new with immediate cancelations and no travel. I was in shock. I was headed into one of my two busiest travel stretches of the year.

Then it was trying to figure out how to co-exist with everyone always home along with doing my travel role solely from home.

But now that we’re four plus months into not traveling, I’ve strongly established my New Normal so it’s time to evaluate and see what I need to change…

I’m going to use the START/STOP/DO MORE/DO LESS method and give you two of each:

START

• Working out consistently again – when all the gyms closed, it was a hit on me because that was my rhythm when I was home. I tinkered with working out at home but I was inconsistent due to working too much. I was also exhausted from “Zoom Fatigue.” (Who knew that would be a thing?!) Now that the gyms are open again, I can start this activity big time
• Journaling again – I’ve fallen out of this critical habit of mine and need to start to “Process the Thoughts” as part of energy habit Develop. This could be a variety of answering my set daily questions but also Think Space which is simply “thinking on paper”.

STOP

• Working later and later into the evening and even on the weekends – now that the weather is nice and my kids actually want to do things with me, I need to just STOP feeling like I have to work more hours. The inbox will always refill and almost everything can wait.
• Worrying about when I’m going to travel again, my finances, along with how Elite Road Warrior is and will continue to be affected during this health pandemic. I’m a man of faith and I’ve let worry and anxiety overtake my trust in a faithful God who’s yet to let me down in my 50 years on this earth.

DO MORE

• Time in the pool with my kids and playing sports with them – this one I really regret not doing from the beginning, and my recent change of swimming with some swim rat kids or throwing the football with my 9-year-old or shooting baskets with my high schoolers has been such a game-changer (especially when Dad can still win)…
• Walks with my wife – we walked most nights the first couple of months, and then the weather in Chicago heated up and we hit a stretch of 20+ days of 90+ degree weather and we got out of the rhythm.

DO LESS

• Late nights – I’ve let my family’s summer break affect my sleep and I’m feeling it big time. The later I stay up, the more my brain stays engaged and I fall asleep later and later but always wake up at the same time so I’m losing at least a full night of sleep a week. This needs to change tonight.
• Drinking during the week and I don’t mean H20 – I’ve let stress get to me too easily especially with the change of my role and I’ve turned too easily and quickly to “the secret sauce” and this needs to change and has so far this week.

There you have it Road Warriors: the good, the bad, and the ugly of yours truly. Just laying it out there.

So, I ask you now:

1. What have you discovered about yourself these 1st four months of not traveling?
2. What draws you to the road?
3. What if you can’t travel until September or even January?
4. What do you need to change? (Start/Stop/Do More/Do Less)

Your action items may be one or more of the following:

• Actually implement the process and the thoughts with these questions
• Listen or re-listen to the six-part podcast series on how to leverage home life to prepare you for road life – check out episodes 066-074 to go deeper.
• Make some pre-purchases – Not Forgotten Journal / Flat Kiddos / Connect Cards / Water Bottle / Elite Road Warrior Black Leather Journal

You can find the listed resources here.

This was a different style of episode and I hope you were challenged by the questions and are willing to ask these questions of yourself now to help you to prepare for Road Life again. Do the action items. Visit the Elite Road Warrior Store.

Leverage this time until we can travel again to help you become and remain an Elite Road Warrior today to eliminate burnout and exceed results.
You Got This!