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ERW Podcast

097 – Seven Key Factors When Choosing a Hotel for Business Travel

 

Three primary drivers that factor into your hotel selection:

  1. You’re budget-driven – Just like me on my 1st trip, you make your decision on how much you’re allotted to spend on a hotel or a trip. Your loyalty is to the best deal that keeps you in budget for your trip. This method is solely for the benefit of the company and often can wear a business traveler down and even out of business travel.
    • Budget Tip for Budget-Driven – Do your homework. Every part of the country and depending on key cities are just flat out more expensive. Leverage booking sites to compare.
  2. You’re chain-driven – You’re a “Marriott guy” or a “Hilton girl” and the only variation is which hotel within your mothership chain. You’ll drive further just to stay at your favorite hotel chain. This is the largest category with seasoned road warriors. For example, you may find a preferred chain during your budget-driven days and now you can finally commit to the chain.
    • Chain Tip for Chain-Driven. – If and when you change companies, let them know your preferred chain and even preferred hotels within that chain.
  3. You’re rewards-driven – You just want the benefits as quickly as you can that you can use for you, significant other, and/or family.  If you have your family travel with you or you take a lot of trips, you may convert to this option over time. How is rewards-driven different than chain-driven? Well, you may be loyal to a chain, but the difference is in the loyalty is not to a chain but to a credit card or site that you actually see the rewards and doesn’t limit you.
    • Loyalty Tip for Rewards-Driven – www.Hotels.com honors you with a free night with every 10 nights, not hotel stays.

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The other key factors in choosing business travel hotels:

  1. Hotel Location – This is all about convenience. Maybe this limits your drive time and/or gives you more access to attendees.
  2. Hotel Amenities – what’s at the actual hotel matters more to you and there are four amenities that enhance your hotel stay:
    • Restaurant- Often, it’s just nice to have a restaurant right on site that is part of the hotel whether they serve a hot breakfast or offer lunch and dinner, the convenience cannot be beat especially if you’re tired or short on time.
      • Restaurant Pro Tip -Check out the menu for the restaurant right away to not only save you time but also help you avoid making a reactive poor food choice.
    • Bar- Sometimes if you’re with a co-worker or team, this is very convenient to meet before dinner or a nightcap but… it’s also often just TOO convenient and can be an enabler and sleep-stealer. Know thyself.
      • Bar Pro Tip -Always apply the 1:1 drink to water ratio and end one drink earlier than planned and have your last drink be a glass of water to limit the alcohol effecting your sleep. Also, put a glass of water or water bottle on your bed stand to have available in the middle of the night.
    • Fitness Center- Having a good workout option while on the road is an absolute must especially if you implement energy habit one: MOVE. It’s amazing what even 20 focused and intense minutes of movement can do for your body and even your mind.
      • Fitness Center Pro Tip –  Visit your fitness center before you even go to your room or right after you check in to your room to know exactly what options you have available to you for your workouts during your stay.
    • Kitchen- If you travel a ton for work, having the option to prepare your own meal and relax in your own room or even in the commonplace patio, is a rare gift.
      • Kitchen Pro Tip -If you’re focusing in energy habit two: FUEL, stay at as many hotels with kitchens to control your food options. I did this for a month and lost over ten pounds. Heavy decision for me!

Challenges:

  • You’re limited by your company and it’s not your preference. This is especially true for companies who are cost-focused. The key is making the best of your options and when it starts to wear on you, it may be time to move on.
  • You start with a certain hotel chain and feel committed or stuck.  This is the “sunken costs fallacy” where you invest so much in something, it becomes a point of no return.

 

You’ve got this!

References

Register for the 100th episode giveaways HERE.

Five Ways to Effectively Click with People on Business Travel

I had a polarizing father when he was alive. He was a business traveler, public speaker, and would light up a room when he entered.

But although he was bigger than life in so many ways, he had a rare quality for someone who was great on stage.

The legendary Frank Buckley could take the energy he had in front of hundreds or thousands of people and bring it to an audience of one: the person right in front of him.

When he was talking to you, nobody else in the world mattered to him at that moment. He would lock-in and make you feel like the most important person on the planet.

Everybody knew my father.

It didn’t matter where we went, if my father had been there before, he was greeted with a smile that would make you smile and a hug that breathed life into your body.

Everybody felt like my father was for them and their close friend. It wasn’t an act. It was who my father was because he knew the magic of connecting with people.

When my father passed away many years ago, we were not prepared for the number of people that would show up at his wake and memorial service.

The small town of Lockport, IL that held his viewing was not prepared for that night. The funeral home was not prepared. The amount of traffic that overflowed that town was not prepared.

The police showed up to handle the traffic and parking.

It was a two-hour wait just to view my father’s body.

The funeral home had to set up partitions to handle the people flow that was like going through a ride of Disneyland or general security at an airport during peak hours.

But what was amazing, even overwhelming, was hearing the stories that people shared on how my father had touched and impacted their lives.

People had driven hundreds of miles and flown thousands of miles just to attend. But also my father’s dentist, chiropractor, grocer, barber, hardware store guy, and on and on and on.

While people waited in the long long lines, the question that came up with complete strangers was “how did you know Frank Buckley?”

It was incredible to hear the stories from complete strangers of how my father had influenced them so much they felt compelled to say goodbye to the man who was bigger than life but had touched their own life.

How?

My father knew the power of connections.

He instilled the importance of this unique skill set. He told me that many can light up a room but few can warm a heart.

It was a skill that he encouraged and developed in me that has served me my entire career.

Awhile back I read a book that was unlike any other I had read in a long time. Why? I felt like it was explaining how and why I connect with people and what my father demonstrated and taught me.

Sadly though, most people are not taught how to have a conversation or how to click with people in ways that truly matter in business and life.

I don’t want that to be your story and hence this article on conversation and clicking with people.

When you’re able to truly connect with another person on the road, it’s a game-changer. The business side all of a sudden just seems to open up and things get easier.

Why?

Because in the end business is done between people.

  • People we know.
  • People we like.
  • And ultimately, people we trust.

And if we can learn this skill, and it is a skill that can be developed and learned, we will become an elite road warrior in the 4th energy habit, PERFORM, the why we’re on the road.

Five ways to Effectively Click with People on Business Travel

 

In the book, Click, the magic of instant connections, the authors discussed five ways or environments for click to happen naturally.

1. Physical Proximity:

Physical distance directly affects the likelihood of establishing a connection to someone else. You are more likely to become friends with the person sitting next to you at work than someone who works on a different floor of the same office building.

You connect with the neighbors right next to you not as much as those down the street.

Two Variables:

  • How often – The more often you’re around someone on the road, the more opportunities to click with that person.
  • How long – The more time you spend with someone your odds increase as well to connect. 3 minutes in a brief meet-and-greet vs. going out to dinner or attending an event

 

    • Example: when I can take someone out to lunch or dinner vs. in a conference room, the physical proximity changes for the good. If I can take them to an event like a ballgame or Top Golf, it’s a whole different level due to the forced proximity.

2. Similarity:

It’s known that we like people who are like us and the more we feel that we are like others, the more we create our own “in crowd”. It’s an us versus them mentality that influences quickset intimacy.

When you find someone who:

  • Has the same name
  • Grew up in the same area
  • Same job or role
  • Likes the same food, drink, hobby, sports team, same age or bday, left-handed
    … you have a quick opportunity to click and connect with them

 

    • Example: NYC dinner at a high-end Manhattan restaurant and my job was to connect 12 people (6 on our side / 6 on their side) since we were going to be working together for a long project – I spent time getting to know each person then connect them with someone else on my team.

3. Safety:

The safer we feel with another person/environment the more likely we are to open up. And conversely, the more unsafe the outside environment, the more it pushes us together.

IF someone is more introverted, reserved, or shy, it will take them longer to feel safe with someone they don’t know especially in larger groups.

This is why the 1st two “click” ways are important to build safety: proximity and similarity.

    • Example: I find the more I can lead by asking questions that uncover similarities and create environments for more physical proximity, more people will warm up and feel safe. But note, I’m also intentional to create a safe environment.

4. Resonance:

Think “awareness” of what is going on when you’re with other people.

“Being fully in the moment” allows you to tune into the emotional mood of others around you.
By being aware of others’ needs, you are better able to satisfy them. In doing so, you increase the likelihood of clicking with them. This is emotional intelligence, being willing to be present and not distracted.

    • Example: let’s go back to the NYC dinner example. It’s easy to just “resonate” if you will to those around you (physical proximity) and that’s fine but if you want to click at a deep level, you need to be aware of how others around you are in the moment. Are they not talking? Why? Do they seem dis-engaged? Bored? I’ve learned through the years to pull them back in by 1:1 with just that person and ask a question to get them re-engaged in conversation first with me, and then potentially the group.

5. Vulnerability:

When an individual opens up to another and reveals personal information about himself, they increase the other person’s perception of his trustworthiness.

You have to be smart AND intentional about what, when, and how much to share.
Whether it’s the first time I meet them and we only have a few minutes or I come back for a 2nd time. (Physical proximity)

Or maybe we spend a good amount of time together at a dinner or event (to create Similarity and Safety opportunities)

The key is leveraging RESONANCE when you’re fully aware of the right moment and reading the person.

    • Example:
      • I’ve let people know in the past I’ve been let go of a couple of jobs or why they didn’t renew my contract.
      • I’ve let people know I’m divorced
      • I’ve been honest about my faith as a Christian by mentioning my morning routine which includes reading the Bible or our family goes to church

You have to determine what you’re willing to share (vulnerability) and what feels safe at the moment.

But I’ve learned from experience when you’re vulnerable and specifically GO FIRST, it’s an absolute game-changer in the connection to click with people on the road.

Let’s transition to… Five Specific Ways to Connect with People in Meaningful Ways on the Road

These are remedial but after decades on the road and dealing with people, I’m shocked how many people struggle in these five ways.

So, as I share them, don’t assume you already do them and brush them off.

Really think about them.

ONE – Eye Contact

TWO – Questions

Why? To find something that resonates with you and them.

“Son, ask people questions and they’ll talk to you for hours. Talk about yourself and they’ll listen to you for seconds at the most.”

THREE – Observe

It’s amazing what you can learn looking at how someone dresses, presents themselves, what they bring with them, the pictures on their desk, how open they are or talk about other people, are they Peter Positive or Debby Downer, etc. –

FOUR – Researching

Leverage LinkedIn to know what they look like, their past roles and experience, their schooling, clubs, etc. Michigan State convo and their disdain for U of M?

You’d be surprised what you can learn. I also leverage #2 of questions and may ask someone else who knows them anything they’re willing to share about the person. I get so much quality information and it’s quick research that really helps me.

FIVE – Remembering

This one is huge especially if you’re following up with this person via email, text, or call at first. What did you learn from your questions, observations, and research that you can use to continue the CLICK with this person?

When I know someone likes something or a sports team, I will always reference it right away.

I have an industry friend who is a Patriots fan and we text anytime his team or my team (da Bears) are on national TV. It’s changed our connection and relationship big time.

And especially when you come back to visit, simply remembering their name and addressing them by it. Referencing something they told you.

I know there are many Road Warriors out there who want to improve in how they perform on the road. They realize they’re either not connecting with people or they can and want to improve in this area.

If that’s you, then maximize how to click with people.

Where can you improve? Seriously? Where are you weak? But also, where are you strong?

This is a skill my father taught me early on that has served me so well in business and especially on the road.

Be near people and look for things in common by asking good questions and create a safe environment. You do this by being fully present and aware then lead with being honest that allows people to open up as well.

You Got This!

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side Of Business Travel

I’m going to go dark in this article so I’m warning you upfront – reader beware!

No harsh-rated language but going to hit on some very personal topics we’ve never really done a deep dive in especially for this topic so I wanted to be very clear where we’re headed.

The reason I want to cover this dark topic is that it’s so real and nobody really talks about it especially in the context of business travel. But we are right now.

I met Charles about a decade ago when my business travel days were really intensifying and I was going at an unsustainable pace.

Let me paint a picture of exactly where we were for this unexpected heart-to-heart conversation. Charles and I were sitting at a bar at a high-end restaurant attached to this incredible hotel. We were eating a steak dinner and watching the game.

Like most conversations, you jostle for conversational position until you find common ground and everything gets easier from that point on (and that’s exactly happened between the two of us).

The conversation moved from sports to work to where we lived and we hit it off. It wasn’t forced conversation and we had a lot in common which is rare for two guys especially on the road.

We also were drinking. A lot and for hours. You know, the kind of place where you open up more due to the secret sauce. And that’s exactly what it became for Charles.

Secret sauce meaning he shared secrets that were dark.

Now, when I say dark I don’t mean evil or criminal, at least in his case, I mean, nobody else knew and you can tell he was relieved to get these secrets out.

So, do you wanna know Charles’ secrets? We’ll get to that soon enough but I wanted to set the stage for where we’re headed.

I meet far more Charles’s through the decades of travel than you could possibly imagine.

I’ve learned the reason many open up to me is for the following reasons:

  1. I ask questions
  2. I listen to their answers
  3. I’m honest
  4. I try not to rush them
  5. I don’t judge
  6. I try to give hope

That’s it – simple but not easy communication and emotional intelligence skills.

As a result, I’ve found a common theme within these conversations through the years about the dark side of business travel.

Now, this is important: not a single road warrior I’ve met had any intention of ever going to the dark side of business travel. In fact, many will admit early on, they judged big time “the sins of the sinner” if you will when hearing of others bad road choices.

They told me they swore to themselves they would “never go there”…

But eventually, they became “that guy” or “that girl” which is the way it almost always works.

And I’m not here to judge because I’ve personally experienced the dark side of business travel.

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Did you catch that last line?

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Every person’s situation is different on the road. Some travel in teams, others travel to a location, and are with reps almost the entire trip. Then there are those who are solo artists, completely by themselves except during their meetings, presentations, etc.

As a result, the dark side can appear differently in different situations and choices.

These choices create the opportunity for a downward spiral, meaning that once you start, it’s easy to get sucked into the spiral and keep going down and down which can tend to get darker and darker.

My hope in discussing this is that by being willing to talk about some tough subjects, we can identify potential choices we’re making right now and can make some changes before it’s too late and there are serious consequences.

So, let’s discuss the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

Let’s go back to Charles’ story. He was a sharp, good looking, athletic, and influential VP who had everything you could want: huge home, fancy cars, gorgeous wife, cute kids, and you can continue the ongoing list of wants…

Including secrets.

The more Charles talked and knew I was listening, understood, and actually cared, the more he shared.

And the reality is nobody would ever guess he would be dealing with these secrets.

It was like I become his priest that night at the hotel bar. So much pain, so much guilt and regret he was carrying inside of him on every single business trip like a half-ton carry-on suitcase.

What I learned from Charles now that I reflect years later and meeting so many other Charles’s and even Cheryls, is a common theme, thread if you will, from where they started to where they are right now.

Each of these downward spiral choices can stand alone but many are tied together in some way which you’ll see.

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side of Business Travel

ONE – The Choice to Become the Road Grinch

This is for the seasoned road warrior and time on the road just takes your heart three sizes down like the original grinch.

It starts for those of us who look up at the flight board or wake up in the morning in a hotel and forget what city you’re going to or in at the moment.

All the food begins to taste the same.

You just go through the motions and everything begins to annoy you.

You’ve met this guy. I seem to find him often at the airport when I’m ready to board or at the airport or hotel bar.

Everything is negative. Every aspect of the road:

  • Airport / Airline / Flight
  • Rental car or Rideshare
  • Hotel
  • The food
  • Customers

There are two specific characteristics of the Road Grinch:

  • You Become Callous

You’ve lost all capacity to care. You have little to no understanding or compassion for anything or anyone.

People are no longer human to you, only annoyances.

And research shows, dehumanizing people is a sign of business travel burnout. You’ll know this is you when you start to become numb and your feelings are a thing of the past.

  • You Become Cynical

You’re cynical of other people and seemingly all people who don’t share your view of business travel.

You’re cynical of the world. Nothing is good. Nothing is right.

Warning! It’s easy to get sucked into Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha. This is true for me especially when I’m frustrated, tired, or hungry. And I’m easy prey for Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha if I’m all three!

Here’s the Caution: you become poison for all those around you and you don’t even know it and/or don’t even care. All the more proof you’re now the callous and cynical Road Grinch! You’re also more likely to continue the downward spiral because you just don’t care anymore.

TWO – The Choice to Experiment

This choice can be a hazard, especially for a new business traveler.

It’s amazing the opportunities to try about anything on the road depending on what city you’re in, who you’re with, and if you’re looking for a stress release.

It’s like we’re back in high school easily giving in to peer pressure or we’re invincible once again. Remember those days of old?

But now, after all, we are Road WARRIORS, right?!

This one is a challenge because the company card can definitely become an encourager or an enabler. After all, it’s not YOUR money! Or someone offers to treat you. Can’t offend them now.

  • You’re with co-workers or a client who smokes and you try it or pick smoking back up when you gave it up years ago
  • You’re in Vegas for work and you try gambling
  • You try this beer, then this type of wine, then this liquor

Warning! This is where you easily become “that guy” or “that girl” who got drunk at the corporate event or customer dinner. Or pushed it too far and now you become the story you regret and can never seem to live down. I’ve seen too many a rookie road warrior learn the hard way when choosing to experiment.

Here’s the Caution: Experimenting in and of itself isn’t wrong. It’s good to try new things depending on what the new things are of course and the potential consequences. Just realize where this could lead.

THREE – The Choice to Develop Bad Habits

Now we’re taking the opportunity to experiment and making it darker.

What used to be a simple experiment has now become part of your road routine:

  • The occasional DRINK becomes I gotta have my drink
  • The occasional SMOKE becomes I’m now taking regular smoke breaks every day, multiple times a day
  • The occasional GAMBLE just because it was in front of me now becomes gambling on anything and everything
  • The occasional curiosity with PORN becomes your new road thing every night before bed

I’ve found that many a road warrior who is a closet drinker, smoker, gambler, and porn viewer has a much bigger problem on their hands and they’re officially deep into the dark side of business travel.

The challenge is we don’t personally see when our experiment becomes our vice. Others do but we don’t. And if they have the courage to bring it up, what’s the proof that it’s an issue and habit? We get defensive and downplay our bad habits.

Warning! Bad habits are enabled on the road due to the availability, temptation, and seclusion.

Caution: Learning to ask if our habits are bringing us energy or simply a stress release. This is a hard question and requires honesty on our motives but separates existing road warriors from elite road warriors.

FOUR – The Choice to Feed Addictions

The downward spiral continues from the experiment (or just picking up again what you tried or did years ago) to a road habit to a full-blown addiction.

You’ve fed this tiny little experimental puppy and now it’s a trained killer dog who will defend himself to the death and do anything to get what he wants.

  • I HAVE to find cigarettes.
  • I GOTTA have a drink and now.
  • I’m VIEWING porn all the time.

And the road is a perfect place for two things:

  • Developing and feeding that addiction
  • Hiding that addiction

I’m not an addiction specialist by any means, but I notice others are walking a fine line between a bad habit that is close to or full-on addiction.

It alters their entire business trip. They “have to have it” and need to “stop now to get it” no matter how it affects you or your business results.

I have literally witnessed guys viewing porn on their phones at the airport gate.

I’ve cleaned up messes from others whose addiction reared its ugly head on business trips.

Of course, they have absolutely no clue how much control this “said addiction” has on them and their full-time job has become the role of a defense attorney.

Not a fan of newly-developed Denny Defense.

Warning! This is a scary place to be and often, a road warrior never wants or can leave the road because the road enables their addiction although they rarely admit it.

Here’s the Caution: Steer clear of the addict on the road unless it’s you and then get help before it has serious consequences for you.

FIVE – The Choice to Make Bad Moral Decisions

This one can be subjective depending upon your values. I hear often how road warriors will justify their moral decisions. Basically put, their convincing themselves what they want and are planning to do is okay so they can move forward with their actions.

I hear all too often from many a road warrior, “I only do this (insert dark side behavior) on the road.” And that somehow makes it right?!

Again, I’m not the judge but you can often and quickly tell when someone is telling this story if they’re trying to convince you while they’re still trying to convince themselves.

The biggest dark side of business travel moral decision I hear is:

  • Cheating on a spouse or significant other

This could be with a co-worker, road mistress, one-night stand.

This may be a one-time action or the start of a relationship.

  • This could be strip clubs when it’s against your morals or would dishonor a spouse or significant other
  • This could be massage parlors (full body if you know what I mean)
  • This could be prostitutes
  • Risky behavior that can have serious relational and even criminal consequences

But it doesn’t stop just there. Another choice could be driving under the influence. We would seemingly never do it at home but on the road, we seem to justify this decision.

And I get it, in the past, I’ve put myself in that same foolish decision before assuming I could do a risk analysis after two double vodka tonics and a bottle of wine.

The point here is not the debate of what is a moral decision or not, although I personally believe if you’re a Christian and follower of Christ, those answers are crystal clear. The point is we all have a moral compass that can get tested and we know if we should cross it or if we’re coming close to crossing it.

Again, they’re easy to justify at the moment:

  • I was okay to drive and nothing happened.
  • I didn’t touch.
  • It was only a kiss.
  • Clothes were still on.
  • We didn’t go ALL the way.
  • It was a one-night stand and it will never happen again.
  • My wife would be fine with it (although she doesn’t exactly know)

Let’s circle back to Charles’ story… he became so successful, so empowered, and so isolated, nobody dared question him or his expense reports. He knew how to play the game and justify anything. “It was for the customer, the client really wanted to try this or do this…” (of course it was almost always Charles’ idea).

Charles started his downward spiral with experimenting, which led to habits, which led to addiction, which led to bad moral decisions. He became callous, cynical, and eventually reckless yet you would never know it on the outside.

Charles had all five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

But here’s the irony: what you saw on the outside was only half of the story. Charles was also on his 2nd marriage, unhappy, and addicted to porn. He was estranged from his kids and had so many regrets.

He claimed he was up working late but couldn’t stop scrolling porn sites which led to other risky behavior such as massages and prostitutes.

But all we saw on the outside if Charles was the essence of success. Or so we thought…

Warning! The power of freedom and the power of choice on the road is a fast track to the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and Charles is living proof.

We all want to become like him in his success but no clue of the cost of his success and his hidden dark side of failures.

Here’s the Caution: Bad moral decisions are absolutely devastating to the road warrior. There is increased opportunity for regret due to isolation as a road warrior and we must understand the environment of the road.

Let me leave you with one question and one word:

One Word: Integrity

Our integrity matters no matter where we are but especially on the road.

The road has so many great opportunities and gifts but with the good lies the opportunity for bad and we need to be aware of the downward spirals that can lead us into the dark side of business travel and this is when your integrity matters the most.

One Question: Someone may never know of your choices but what does a secret do to our heart/soul?

It absolutely haunted Charles and I will never forget that night as he poured out his heart and soul with the secrets of his lack of integrity.

It is possible to live a life of integrity on the road and I challenge you to do it.

  • Know when you’re becoming a Road Grinch who is callous and cynical.
  • Know when an experiment should end.
  • Know when you’re developing bad habits.
  • Know when your bad habit owns you and you’re addicted.
  • Know when you’re facing a bad moral decision.

And choose integrity on the road. Protect your heart and soul to become an elite road warrior.

This was challenging due to the darkness the road can create in the life of a road warrior. My hope is the content was both enlightening and challenging. This just may be one of those articles you remember when you’re in the midst of one of the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and you respond in a positive way in that moment.

The three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior Group come into play once again:

  • Work – we leverage business travel for these downward spiral choices
  • Health – we could compromise our own health for these downward spiral choices
  • Home Life – we could damage and devastate those we love back home with these downward spiral choices whether they ever find out or not

Action Items:

  1. Be honest with yourself and own up to your dark side
  2. Find someone to tell (close friend/counselor)
  3. Know Thyself – put boundaries in place on the road and have someone hold you accountable.

I don’t want to leave you hanging, so tune into my next podcast, where I will be interviewing with psychologist Dr. Nick Howard. Make sure you catch that episode to hear from a professional and subject matter expert on what to do if you’re heading into or already in the dark side of business travel.

You Got This!

How One Creative Idea Connected Me With My Kids Back Home

You may have heard a little bit about my story and my family. The Buckley Kiddos (there are 5 of them) never chose to have their father as a business traveler, but it’s the hand they’ve been dealt with at least right now.

Early on, I didn’t put much thought into my contact with my family when I was on the road. Compared to everyone else, some business trips I did better than other trips and justified my contact because it was more than the average business traveler.

But when did I ever care about comparing myself to THAT GUY?! I came to a point where I felt the lack of engagement with my family especially with my kids because I was traveling so much.

I was uncovering my “WHY” I wanted to connect more back home.

The WHY gets me to do things when I don’t always feel like it, especially when I’ve had a busy and long day on the road.

I created the Flat Kiddos Concept. It’s a way for me to connect with my kids when I’m not at home. Take a look at them at the Elite Road Warrior website here.

 

One of my biggest challenges as a father on the road is staying connected with my kids in very intentional, thoughtful, and creative ways in general let alone on a consistent basis. I would take pictures of my locations, but it was more about “Dad’s cool hotel or rental car” and how they weren’t a part of my trip.

But then I asked myself, “what if I could theoretically take my kids with me in a creative way? You can now with Flat Kiddos. These are 9×6 inch characters that are on thick poster board for durability.
I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and now they can’t wait to see their picture on my next trip. This gives the opportunity for the Flat Kiddos to be seen in Dad’s World and how the kids are now involved.

Why I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

The “why” is critically important and far more important than the “how”.

For far too long on the road, I was what I called a Check-In Guy. This guy “checked in” when it was convenient for me only.

I had a gift of calling at all the wrong times:

  • Dinner time
  • Bedtime
  • Kids at practice

I sent the occasional check-in update text.

I did FaceTime but was usually distracted. Sadly, one of my kids would call me out and say “Dad, you’re not paying attention.” Pathetic. I have just a few minutes to really connect with my family and I’m on email?

After a “come to Jesus” moment with my wife on how disconnected I was at home while on the road, I started looking for ways to leverage the road and what it can do for me instead of making excuses of the limits of the road and what I can’t do.

Remember, if you want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

When I first started out I took pictures of the locations in my trip thinking my kids would want to see where Dad literally was in the world or my awesome meal or upgraded rental car.

At best I would get a COOL or LUCKY YOU response.

Often it was silence. Painful non-response.

Deserved.

I had that coming.

It came across in two ways:

  1. Dad’s bragging
  2. We’re not with him

But that wasn’t my motive and definitely not my heart.

I had an industry connection I had interviewed on another podcast called “The Energy Edge” Podcast, and listening to David Vasquez, had this little character called Peg Daddy that he traveled with and it hit me.

I revisited this concept with David Vasquez on episode 046 of the Elite Road Warrior.

But after that initial interview and the Flat Stanley story, I thought, what if I created Flat Stanley of my age-appropriate kids that traveled with me on the road?

For those of you who’ve not heard of the Flat Stanley story or concept, let me give you the 411:

Back Story – Stanley gets squashed flat by a falling bulletin board. Stanley’s parents rolled him up, put him in an envelope, and mailed him to his friend in California. We did the Flat Stanley project for my cousin’s kids from SoCal having Flat Stanley visit Chicago. Our kids loved it.

I had to figure this thing out.

Now, I had my WHY of wanting to connect and not just check in with my kids and I had this idea of doing something with Flat Stanley. Now what?

How I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

I needed to begin to look through the eyes of my kids and what would be relatable to them in my road world.

I have five kids but not all are age-appropriate for Flat Kiddos.

For example, my high school sons prefer postcards from every location and it allows me to speak an encouraging word that I know they’ll read in this form.

Currently, I have two elementary-age kids and one four-year-old.

My 3rd and 5th graders are perfect for this age and my little guy is now ready for his Flat Kiddo too.

How Do You Make Your Flat Kiddos?

I’m often asked, how did you actually make the Flat Kiddos?

My two were basically an art project:

  • I went online and printed out a boy and girl Flat Stanley character
  • I cut out the characters
  • My wife glued them to strong poster-board
  • I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddos

It was simple but took some time and energy.

The favorite part was having my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and therein was the Buy-In.

Now, there are many road warriors who either aren’t creative or resourceful or just simply don’t have the time or won’t do it. Just recently I had a business traveler tell me: “Love the idea but this will never happen if it relies on me but I would buy them immediately. I can definitely tell my kids to color these for me.” You can buy them here.

So, you make or purchase your flat kiddo, you have your kids color them. Now what?

Here are Six Ideas for my Flat Kiddos

Airport

  • At the Gate or in the Terminal (up on the window with the plane in sight / checking the departure board/massage chairs)
  • On the Plane (in the seat / looking out the window)
  • With the Pilot or Flight Attendant

Hotel

  • Working at the desk
  • Watching TV
  • In the bathtub
  • On the toilet
  • On the bed
  • In the kitchen (since I stay at a lot of hotels with kitchens so I can prepare as many meals as possible)
  • Fitness Center – working out with the dumbbells/on the treadmill/bike
  • Pool catching some sun

Rental Car or RideShare

I’m in a rental car often because I fly into one city (for example, SD then drive to OC then to LA and fly out there or Tampa to Orlando to Fort Lauderdale) – I get some great upgrades and my kids love to see their Flat Kiddos in the driver seat

  • The driver seat of a cool rental car
  • Back seat watching an iPad
  • In the trunk!
  • Sitting next to me in an Uber or Lyft

Restaurant

I have my Flat Kiddos in my work bag so it’s easy to pull them out in a restaurant setting

  • Ordering food
  • A plate in front of them

Sight Seeing

  • The Alamo
  • Space Needle
  • Sunsets on the coast
  • In the mountains

The possibilities are endless – the key is just leveraging the city you’re in AND taking a few minutes for downtime – remember the definition? Time to Be, NOT to Be On and this is a great cause to take a little downtime.

People You Meet

People are often more than willing to join in a picture for such a cause – you just have to be willing and courageous to simply ask.

  • I mentioned Pilots earlier
  • Hotel front desk
  • Co-workers
  • When I speak, sometimes I’ll ask some people in the group to take a picture with my Flat Kiddos. I did that a few weeks ago speaking to 16 CEOs and these guys loved it!
  • One of my mentors from afar who I met, Michael

Get creative and ask for your kids

This is Possible Road Warriors…

Let me tell you about a quick story.

I met Barry in an airport before a flight when I was taking pictures of my Flat Kiddos in a couple of places near the gate. He asked what I was going but in a curious tone. So, I let him know WHY I do this and my desire to be a Connect-In Guy, not a Check-in Guy anymore on the road.

Barry paused then said, “If I were honest, I’m a Check-in Guy and this is a great idea that I can do to become a Connect-In Guy. Thanks for being an example and for giving me this inspiration.”

The key to being an elite road warrior is leveraging the road and what it CAN give to you if you let it.

I wouldn’t do Flat Kiddos at home obviously because I’m with my kids. But I can take a few minutes here and there to have them enter my Road Life through their Flat Kiddos.

You Got This!

Are You Implementing This One Road Superpower On Every Business Trip?

When I started out on the road many many years ago, I had seemingly unlimited energy and in fact, was nicknamed the Energizer Bunny because I just kept going and going and going.

Energy was my superpower and I found people around me on the road were attracted to it, motivated by it, and depended on it. Energy was the most common word used to describe me. And between us girls, I loved it and thrived on it.

What I didn’t realize is energy is a limited resource and will eventually run out. I knew it was a limited resource in the world at large, but not with me personally. I didn’t believe this universal truth until it finally caught up with yours truly.

If you’ve not heard my full story, you can find it way back in episode #2 of the Elite Road Warrior podcast, read it on the About Page on the website, or the chapter in the Elite Road Warrior book called, My Story.

But the highlights or more aptly put, the lowlights were the sad reality I treated my high-performance car (aka my body) as a 1980 beat-up work Toyota Camry putting in cheap fuel, giving little to no maintenance, quick and inexpensive repairs just to get me back on the road.  My RPMs were in red and my gas tank was on fumes, always. I claimed it was only a season, but it was turning out to be my only season.

Now, the irony is the outside of my car looked immaculate. Always spotless and waxed with the engine revving to impress others. The inside even looked pristine.

Just don’t open that hood and see that neglected Energy Engine.

I would steal night hours to extend my day hours and no one would argue with me due to one inarguable word: RESULTS. I would brag about what little sleep I “supposedly needed” and just pointed to my results. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and as much as I wanted.

Again, who would argue due to my unlimited energy and my impressive results? But then it happened. I went around the proverbial curve marked 30 and I was doing my usual 70 and hit the wall and didn’t recover this time. I didn’t bounce off the wall like I normally did. I went through the wall then just sputtered out with a ton of damage.

The engine shut down and eventually, every part of me did as well. The Energizer Bunny was officially off the road.

I had burned out so hard it affected every part of my life and bad. I needed months and months to recover and it was brutal and hard on everyone, especially my family. I was forced to shut down due to business travel burnout in the worst way.

And here’s the Lesson Learned: The Energizer Bunny uses rechargeable batteries which is my new M.O. (means of operation) and has made all the difference on the road.

Let me ask you a question I ask road warriors all of the time. What is more important on the road: Time or Energy?

Many answer time but it’s actually not accurate. Why? If you had time but no energy, how much do you actually get done? Slim to none. Think about the evening time on the road when you’re with your Laptop Lover over dinner, then you take her up for a nightcap. You have the time but how’s your energy? And how much do you actually get done or should I ask what is the quality and the results from your energy-less time? When you finally make it home from a business trip absolutely exhausted and you have the entire weekend to do whatever with your time, how much do you get done with little to no energy? Exactly.

But what if you have energy and limited time, how much can you get done? A surprising amount. Why? You had the energy. Energy is everything on the road. Energy allows you to perform at an elite level on the road every single time. To do your best work and feel proud of what you’ve accomplished.

But where you draw your energy from is all the difference in long-term success on the road or burning out like I did.

Elite Road Warrior Group runs on the premise of Three Focus Areas:

  1.  Work
  2. Health
  3. Home Life

Most business travelers too often sacrifice their health and/or their home life for the sake of work. They burn through all their energy on the road with the grind of business travel then cheat their health and their home life. I see it ALL the time.
An occasional weekend becomes every weekend, every month, and every quarter then year.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

We also live our life on the road with our habits or what I call our Road Routine. This is “our unique way of traveling” that becomes hard-wired in us. Want some proof?

Think back to the last time you traveled with someone else for work. From what they bring with them to how they eat and drink, what they listen to, how and when they work, and on and on and on.

Traveling with someone else for work often exhausts me because I realize just how different my Road Routine is than other people’s and often I find myself dumbing down my Road Routine to accommodate the other person.

The two critical factors combined are what create the potential for your road superpower: your energy and your habits.

Did you catch the word “potential?” I want to help you combine both your energy and your habits.

A habit is:  a behavior that is repeated enough times to become automatic, and wow do we have those on the road where we’re just on autopilot. (All pun-intended with the autopilot reference)

But have you ever thought if your habits are bringing you the results you ultimately want on the road? I’ve learned from decades of traveling the one game-changer that affects absolutely everything I do on the road is my energy.

It’s so important to me that I was willingly and unknowingly stealing energy from my own body to fabricate it so I could succeed on the road.

Once I crashed and re-evaluated everything about my life, I had to learn the routines that would not only bring back my energy but would be sustainable energy for the long haul. Did you catch that? Sustainable energy and from the right sources.
They became a framework that I literally needed to learn how to take them on the road and have now become known as Energy Habits.

Why? Because if my energy level is the most important resource for me on the road, I need to find a way to engrain energy so deeply into my Road Routine, they’re done automatically with the sole purpose of providing me sustainable energy to allow me to get the results on what I want and need on a consistent basis.

There was a lot there on that last sentence so if you zoned out, here me out on this key concept:

If my energy level is the most important resource for me on the road, I need to find a way to engrain my energy so deeply into my Road Routine, they’re done automatically with the sole purpose of providing me sustainable energy to allow me to get the results I want and need on a consistent basis.

Consistent results are what both you and your company want from you as a road warrior.

This leads us into the official Elite Road Warrior definition of an Energy Habit:

Energy Habit – a sustainable, repeated behavior that brings energy designed to produce desired results

That’s what I want on every single business trip – a sustainable, repeated behavior that brings energy designed to produce desired results.

Next, I needed to figure out what the energy habits were that I want and need to repeat within the three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior: work/health/home life that I will bring with me on the road and I want to produce results.

This led to the six energy habits framework.

Three energy habits are physical and three energy habits are mental. Let me touch on them briefly:

Three Physical Energy Habits:

  1. Move
  2. Fuel
  3. Rest

Three Mental Energy Habits:

  1. Perform
  2. Develop
  3. Connect

If you follow Elite Road Warrior, you’ve heard this framework. But did you understand the psychology behind habits that produce energy?

This is your superpower on the road.

All six energy habits allow me to produce in the three areas that matter to me: my work, but also my health and my home life. Notice, it’s intentional to have these three focus areas weaved into my Road Routine.

Why You Must Implement Energy Habits on the Road

1. Your energy is not a guaranteed resource and must be recharged – I learned this the hard way so learn from me and recharge your energy on the road.

2. Your energy must be channeled into more than just your work – don’t be “that guy” or “that girl” that loses their health and home life for their career.

3. Your best way to create long-term results is leveraging the Six Energy Habits Framework – Elite Road Warrior has done the work for you so all you need to do is work the system.

To this point we’ve learned the following:

  • Energy is more important than time
  • The definition of an energy habit
  • Why you must implement energy habits on the road

Let’s revisit our definition of an Energy Habit – a sustainable, repeated behavior that brings energy designed to produce desired results.

So let’s lean on an expert to help us develop our road habits. James Clear wrote one of my favorite books of all of last year called Atomic Habits. The 2nd half of this article is credited to his work with my job of translating it to the road. If you’ve not read or listened to his book, your first action item is getting it immediately. A game-changer book for any road warrior.

I love how James Clear frames a habit.

“Each habit is like a suggestion: ‘this is who I am.’ Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs but as the notes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”

The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do.

Two-Step Process:

1. Decide the type of person you want to be
2. Prove it to yourself with small wins

For example, I want to be an elite road warrior, therefore I need to do behaviors of an elite road warrior.

And this is where the Six Energy Habits Framework comes into the picture. I want sustainable, repeated behaviors that bring energy designed to produce desired results in each of the six energy habits.

I want to be a road warrior who:

  • Moves consistently
  • Fuels properly
  • Rests strategically
  • Performs optimally
  • Develops personally and professionally
  • Connects thoughtfully and creatively

So, according to Atomic Habits, each small decision, or habit, is a vote towards being an elite road warrior or a vote towards being an existing road warrior. If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system and this is why we have Energy Habits and the Six Energy Habits Framework to leverage this system to become the best version of you.

James Clear says this:

“All BIG things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”

Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy. And too many a road warrior has some powerful oak size bad habits that don’t serve us or who we are and ultimately who we want to be.

For the seasoned road warrior, they can feel the Travel 20 or in my case the Entitled 40 (aka the weight we’ve gained from the road). We feel the exhaustion of the road or the slow decay of our relationships with those back home we love.

So, this is a perfect time to re-evaluate if our habits are serving us.

Let’s take a moment to get basic and granular in how a habit is even developed.

The process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps:

  1. Cue. A piece of information that suggests there’s a reward to be found, like the smell of a cookie or a dark room waiting to light up.
  2. Craving. The motivation to change something to get the reward, like tasting the delicious cookie or being able to see.
  3. Response. Whatever thought or action you need to take to get to the reward.
  4. Reward. The satisfying feeling you get from the change, along with the lesson whether to do it again or not

The cue is about noticing the reward.
The craving is about wanting the reward.
The response is about obtaining the reward.

So the money question is how do you make an Energy Habit sustainable? James Clear gives Four Laws of Behavior Change to help us implement Energy Habits on the road:

I made it into an acronym: OAES

1. Make it Obvious

“What gets our attention gets attention” (my own quote)
On the road, we need these cues or triggers that catch our attention and remind us to do the desired behavior that brings us energy.

For example, I carry with me absolutely everywhere on the road the Elite Road Warrior water bottle. Why? It’s always out in front of me and an obvious cue to continually hydrate.

My room key cues me to do a routine I called H.OM.E. away from Home. You can learn this cue and routine in episode 015. What can you make obvious on the road that enforces the energy habits?

2. Make it Attractive

The more attractive an opportunity is, the more likely it is to become habit-forming.
I rarely do the things I hate but if I can somehow make it attractive to me, the likelihood of doing it dramatically increases for me.

For example, I love writing in the Elite Road Warrior branded journal. The rich soft, artisan leather calls my name. The Not Forgotten Journal is the same way. And both products are available in the Elite Road Warrior Store.

I love listening to a podcast or audiobook when I workout or go for a walk and have episodes already in the cue. This makes the workout or walk more attractive to me.

What can you make attractive on the road that enforces the energy habits?

3. Make it Easy

Out of the four, this to me was the most important – I needed the habit to be easy to do especially on the road.

James Clear talks a lot about Environment Design. He’s a big advocate that “You don’t have to be the victim of your environment. You can be the architect of it.”

When deciding to practice a new habit, it is best to choose a place that is already in the path of your daily routine. Habits are easy to build when they fit into the flow of your life. It’s the concept of “If This, Then That” in my current environment.

Too often, we try to start habits in high-friction environments. The greater the friction, the less likely the habit. Reduce the friction associated with bad behaviors. When friction is high, habits are difficult.

Sometimes success is less about making good habits easy and more about making bad habits hard. For example, it’s starting very small when integrating an energy habit. Workout for just five minutes each day or read for just five minutes each day on the road.

What can you make easy on the road that enforces the energy habits?

4. Make it Satisfying

With our bad habits, the immediate outcome usually feels good, but the ultimate outcome feels bad. With good habits, it is the reverse: the immediate outcome is unenjoyable but the ultimate outcome feels good.

The cost of your good habits are in the present. The cost of your bad habits are in the future. When the moment of decision arrives, instant gratification usually wins.

As a general rule, the more immediate pleasure you get from an action, the more strongly you should question whether it aligns with your long-term goals.

Just as we are more likely to repeat an experience when the ending is satisfying, we are also more likely to avoid an experience when the ending is painful. Pain is an effective teacher.

Cardinal Rule of Behavior Change – What is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided. For example, when I do the Flat Kiddos in my environment and send those creative pictures to my kids, they’re thrilled knowing dad was thinking of them and that is very satisfying to me.

What can you make satisfying on the road that enforces the energy habits?

Here’s a quick summary of Atomic Habits and how to create a lasting habit:

Sometimes a habit will be hard to remember and you’ll need to make it obvious. Other times you won’t feel like starting and you’ll need to make it attractive. In many cases, you may find that a habit will be too difficult and you’ll need to make it easy.
And sometimes, you won’t feel like sticking with it and you’ll need to make it satisfying.

Obvious…………………. Invisible
Attractive……………….. Unattractive
Easy…………………….. Hard
Satisfying………………. Unsatisfying

An energy habit is the one road superpower you need on every single business trip.

Your Action Items…

1. Pick up the Atomic Habits book or audiobook by James Clear

2. Go to the Elite Road Warrior Store and pick up some items that will make your Energy Habits more obvious/attractive/easy/satisfying

3. Maybe it’s revisiting the Elite Road Warrior book or audiobook as well

4. Or reading the weekly article from Elite Road Warrior on LinkedIn or the Elite Road Warrior site

Take action on this road superpower today.

You Got This!