Do You Really Have THIS Character Quality in Your Life?
Have you ever thought about how someone describes you when you’re not there? How accurate do you think the description would be of you?
Their description is your character qualities. It’s what they experience of you.
Character qualities are what define us for who we are. It’s the language we use to describe each other.
For example, Jenny is never on time and always late. Unfortunately, whether Jenny knows it or not, others feel she is not dependable and irresponsible.
I was brought up by a father who was ALWAYS early. He viewed being late as irresponsible and disrespectful.
If the Buckley’s weren’t 15 minutes early to church it meant one of two things:
Church was canceled or worse yet…
Something happened to the Buckley family!
One character quality that is a must in business and in life is Responsibility.
Everyone feels they’re responsible but so few actually take responsibility.
It’s one of those character qualities that no one really focuses on yet drives everyone crazy when not there.
The relationship changes when someone is viewed irresponsible.
Here is a Definition of Responsibility:
Taking Ownership of Who I Am and What I Do in My Life
It’s the ability to respond, be pro-active and take ownership of our choices.
Responsibility comes to light first in the small things which ultimately lead to the big things.
For this very reason my wife and focus big time teaching our kids to Be Responsible.
The language goes like this:
If you get it out, you… (put it away)
If you open it, you… (close it)
If you start it, you… (finish it)
If you turn it on, you… (turn it off)
If you make a mess, you… (clean it up)
Any given day, I could say through the house, “If you open it, you…” and the child who left the door open comes up the stairs, shuts the door, and finishes the sentence, “close it. Sorry, Dad.”
We want to teach our kids at a very early age and in the very small things how to Be Responsible because it only gets harder the older we get. Can I get an Amen?!
Responsibility Comes Out in Four Specific Ways:
1. Completely Owning What Happens
This is for BOTH the good and the bad.
Some of us have work to do in this area because of how it what was modeled to us by our parents and others growing up.
The focus MUST be on ownership not the consequences. If we choose to do something, we must be prepared for the consequences.
And complete ownership goes for not just what we do but who we are.
These choices become our character and who we are to other people. We must take complete ownership of both our actions and our character. That’s Big Boy Talk right there.
2. Not Blaming Others
According to Laura M. Stack, “When you hear the word ‘responsibility,’ what do you think of first? Many people think of the word BLAME, as in, ‘Whose responsibility is this?’ and as a result, it becomes a negative thing.”
And when something does go wrong, the natural human response is to react and blame something or someone else.
We may take on part of the blame but the reality is how quickly we can shuck full responsibility and pull someone else into the blame in what happened. And it usually starts with two specific words, “Yeah but…”
Blame is one of the easiest things to share but we cannot stand when it’s given to us. We absolutely hate it when done to us yet how quickly we do it to others.
This is usually the quickest and most obvious area of growing in responsibility.
3. Thinking How This Will Affect Yourself and Others
Our choices affect ourselves and other people more than we even realize. Most people are lucky if they think ahead of how their choices will even affect themselves let alone others.
I can make a poor choice that will be incredibly irresponsible and cause a tremendous amount of pain to myself and my family.
Learning to think ahead of how my actions may affect someone else will often allow you to make the right choice and take responsibility.
This is a learned skill that is part of the growing in the responsibility classroom of life. And this is where maturity becomes evident in someone’s life.
4. Doing What You NEED to Do Not Just What You WANT to Do
This, one would think, is just part of growing up. But how often do you see adults who are immature in this area of their lives?
I love seeing this growth process in my kids. My 11 year old son has made huge advancements in this area of his life and it’s so rewarding watching him become truly responsible. But it’s a conscious effort on his part.
We have areas of our lives, both professional and personal, that require us to do things we simply don’t want to do.
But growing in responsibility is doing them and eventually with the right attitude and heart.
Closing Thoughts…
One more time, here is the Definition of Responsibility:
Taking Ownership of Who I Am and What I Do in My Life
Motivated, busy professionals want to grow and this is a challenge to look beyond the quick, defensive response of “I’m definitely responsible” and really think through these four specific ways responsibility comes out in your life.
Closing Question…
Which one of the above four areas is a weak area of responsibility for you right now?
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