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How One Creative Idea Connected Me With My Kids Back Home

You may have heard a little bit about my story and my family. The Buckley Kiddos (there are 5 of them) never chose to have their father as a business traveler, but it’s the hand they’ve been dealt with at least right now.

Early on, I didn’t put much thought into my contact with my family when I was on the road. Compared to everyone else, some business trips I did better than other trips and justified my contact because it was more than the average business traveler.

But when did I ever care about comparing myself to THAT GUY?! I came to a point where I felt the lack of engagement with my family especially with my kids because I was traveling so much.

I was uncovering my “WHY” I wanted to connect more back home.

The WHY gets me to do things when I don’t always feel like it, especially when I’ve had a busy and long day on the road.

I created the Flat Kiddos Concept. It’s a way for me to connect with my kids when I’m not at home. Take a look at them at the Elite Road Warrior website here.

 

One of my biggest challenges as a father on the road is staying connected with my kids in very intentional, thoughtful, and creative ways in general let alone on a consistent basis. I would take pictures of my locations, but it was more about “Dad’s cool hotel or rental car” and how they weren’t a part of my trip.

But then I asked myself, “what if I could theoretically take my kids with me in a creative way? You can now with Flat Kiddos. These are 9×6 inch characters that are on thick poster board for durability.
I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and now they can’t wait to see their picture on my next trip. This gives the opportunity for the Flat Kiddos to be seen in Dad’s World and how the kids are now involved.

Why I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

The “why” is critically important and far more important than the “how”.

For far too long on the road, I was what I called a Check-In Guy. This guy “checked in” when it was convenient for me only.

I had a gift of calling at all the wrong times:

  • Dinner time
  • Bedtime
  • Kids at practice

I sent the occasional check-in update text.

I did FaceTime but was usually distracted. Sadly, one of my kids would call me out and say “Dad, you’re not paying attention.” Pathetic. I have just a few minutes to really connect with my family and I’m on email?

After a “come to Jesus” moment with my wife on how disconnected I was at home while on the road, I started looking for ways to leverage the road and what it can do for me instead of making excuses of the limits of the road and what I can’t do.

Remember, if you want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

When I first started out I took pictures of the locations in my trip thinking my kids would want to see where Dad literally was in the world or my awesome meal or upgraded rental car.

At best I would get a COOL or LUCKY YOU response.

Often it was silence. Painful non-response.

Deserved.

I had that coming.

It came across in two ways:

  1. Dad’s bragging
  2. We’re not with him

But that wasn’t my motive and definitely not my heart.

I had an industry connection I had interviewed on another podcast called “The Energy Edge” Podcast, and listening to David Vasquez, had this little character called Peg Daddy that he traveled with and it hit me.

I revisited this concept with David Vasquez on episode 046 of the Elite Road Warrior.

But after that initial interview and the Flat Stanley story, I thought, what if I created Flat Stanley of my age-appropriate kids that traveled with me on the road?

For those of you who’ve not heard of the Flat Stanley story or concept, let me give you the 411:

Back Story – Stanley gets squashed flat by a falling bulletin board. Stanley’s parents rolled him up, put him in an envelope, and mailed him to his friend in California. We did the Flat Stanley project for my cousin’s kids from SoCal having Flat Stanley visit Chicago. Our kids loved it.

I had to figure this thing out.

Now, I had my WHY of wanting to connect and not just check in with my kids and I had this idea of doing something with Flat Stanley. Now what?

How I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

I needed to begin to look through the eyes of my kids and what would be relatable to them in my road world.

I have five kids but not all are age-appropriate for Flat Kiddos.

For example, my high school sons prefer postcards from every location and it allows me to speak an encouraging word that I know they’ll read in this form.

Currently, I have two elementary-age kids and one four-year-old.

My 3rd and 5th graders are perfect for this age and my little guy is now ready for his Flat Kiddo too.

How Do You Make Your Flat Kiddos?

I’m often asked, how did you actually make the Flat Kiddos?

My two were basically an art project:

  • I went online and printed out a boy and girl Flat Stanley character
  • I cut out the characters
  • My wife glued them to strong poster-board
  • I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddos

It was simple but took some time and energy.

The favorite part was having my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and therein was the Buy-In.

Now, there are many road warriors who either aren’t creative or resourceful or just simply don’t have the time or won’t do it. Just recently I had a business traveler tell me: “Love the idea but this will never happen if it relies on me but I would buy them immediately. I can definitely tell my kids to color these for me.” You can buy them here.

So, you make or purchase your flat kiddo, you have your kids color them. Now what?

Here are Six Ideas for my Flat Kiddos

Airport

  • At the Gate or in the Terminal (up on the window with the plane in sight / checking the departure board/massage chairs)
  • On the Plane (in the seat / looking out the window)
  • With the Pilot or Flight Attendant

Hotel

  • Working at the desk
  • Watching TV
  • In the bathtub
  • On the toilet
  • On the bed
  • In the kitchen (since I stay at a lot of hotels with kitchens so I can prepare as many meals as possible)
  • Fitness Center – working out with the dumbbells/on the treadmill/bike
  • Pool catching some sun

Rental Car or RideShare

I’m in a rental car often because I fly into one city (for example, SD then drive to OC then to LA and fly out there or Tampa to Orlando to Fort Lauderdale) – I get some great upgrades and my kids love to see their Flat Kiddos in the driver seat

  • The driver seat of a cool rental car
  • Back seat watching an iPad
  • In the trunk!
  • Sitting next to me in an Uber or Lyft

Restaurant

I have my Flat Kiddos in my work bag so it’s easy to pull them out in a restaurant setting

  • Ordering food
  • A plate in front of them

Sight Seeing

  • The Alamo
  • Space Needle
  • Sunsets on the coast
  • In the mountains

The possibilities are endless – the key is just leveraging the city you’re in AND taking a few minutes for downtime – remember the definition? Time to Be, NOT to Be On and this is a great cause to take a little downtime.

People You Meet

People are often more than willing to join in a picture for such a cause – you just have to be willing and courageous to simply ask.

  • I mentioned Pilots earlier
  • Hotel front desk
  • Co-workers
  • When I speak, sometimes I’ll ask some people in the group to take a picture with my Flat Kiddos. I did that a few weeks ago speaking to 16 CEOs and these guys loved it!
  • One of my mentors from afar who I met, Michael

Get creative and ask for your kids

This is Possible Road Warriors…

Let me tell you about a quick story.

I met Barry in an airport before a flight when I was taking pictures of my Flat Kiddos in a couple of places near the gate. He asked what I was going but in a curious tone. So, I let him know WHY I do this and my desire to be a Connect-In Guy, not a Check-in Guy anymore on the road.

Barry paused then said, “If I were honest, I’m a Check-in Guy and this is a great idea that I can do to become a Connect-In Guy. Thanks for being an example and for giving me this inspiration.”

The key to being an elite road warrior is leveraging the road and what it CAN give to you if you let it.

I wouldn’t do Flat Kiddos at home obviously because I’m with my kids. But I can take a few minutes here and there to have them enter my Road Life through their Flat Kiddos.

You Got This!

Written by Bryan Buckley · Categorized: CONNECT, Creatively, Embrace Better, ERW Podcast, Intentionally, Podcast, Thoughtfully · Tagged: ERW Podcast, podcast

Are You Implementing This One Road Superpower On Every Business Trip?

When I started out on the road many many years ago, I had seemingly unlimited energy and in fact, was nicknamed the Energizer Bunny because I just kept going and going and going.

Energy was my superpower and I found people around me on the road were attracted to it, motivated by it, and depended on it. Energy was the most common word used to describe me. And between us girls, I loved it and thrived on it.

What I didn’t realize is energy is a limited resource and will eventually run out. I knew it was a limited resource in the world at large, but not with me personally. I didn’t believe this universal truth until it finally caught up with yours truly.

If you’ve not heard my full story, you can find it way back in episode #2 of the Elite Road Warrior podcast, read it on the About Page on the website, or the chapter in the Elite Road Warrior book called, My Story.

But the highlights or more aptly put, the lowlights were the sad reality I treated my high-performance car (aka my body) as a 1980 beat-up work Toyota Camry putting in cheap fuel, giving little to no maintenance, quick and inexpensive repairs just to get me back on the road.  My RPMs were in red and my gas tank was on fumes, always. I claimed it was only a season, but it was turning out to be my only season.

Now, the irony is the outside of my car looked immaculate. Always spotless and waxed with the engine revving to impress others. The inside even looked pristine.

Just don’t open that hood and see that neglected Energy Engine.

I would steal night hours to extend my day hours and no one would argue with me due to one inarguable word: RESULTS. I would brag about what little sleep I “supposedly needed” and just pointed to my results. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and as much as I wanted.

Again, who would argue due to my unlimited energy and my impressive results? But then it happened. I went around the proverbial curve marked 30 and I was doing my usual 70 and hit the wall and didn’t recover this time. I didn’t bounce off the wall like I normally did. I went through the wall then just sputtered out with a ton of damage.

The engine shut down and eventually, every part of me did as well. The Energizer Bunny was officially off the road.

I had burned out so hard it affected every part of my life and bad. I needed months and months to recover and it was brutal and hard on everyone, especially my family. I was forced to shut down due to business travel burnout in the worst way.

And here’s the Lesson Learned: The Energizer Bunny uses rechargeable batteries which is my new M.O. (means of operation) and has made all the difference on the road.

Let me ask you a question I ask road warriors all of the time. What is more important on the road: Time or Energy?

Many answer time but it’s actually not accurate. Why? If you had time but no energy, how much do you actually get done? Slim to none. Think about the evening time on the road when you’re with your Laptop Lover over dinner, then you take her up for a nightcap. You have the time but how’s your energy? And how much do you actually get done or should I ask what is the quality and the results from your energy-less time? When you finally make it home from a business trip absolutely exhausted and you have the entire weekend to do whatever with your time, how much do you get done with little to no energy? Exactly.

But what if you have energy and limited time, how much can you get done? A surprising amount. Why? You had the energy. Energy is everything on the road. Energy allows you to perform at an elite level on the road every single time. To do your best work and feel proud of what you’ve accomplished.

But where you draw your energy from is all the difference in long-term success on the road or burning out like I did.

Elite Road Warrior Group runs on the premise of Three Focus Areas:

  1.  Work
  2. Health
  3. Home Life

Most business travelers too often sacrifice their health and/or their home life for the sake of work. They burn through all their energy on the road with the grind of business travel then cheat their health and their home life. I see it ALL the time.
An occasional weekend becomes every weekend, every month, and every quarter then year.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

We also live our life on the road with our habits or what I call our Road Routine. This is “our unique way of traveling” that becomes hard-wired in us. Want some proof?

Think back to the last time you traveled with someone else for work. From what they bring with them to how they eat and drink, what they listen to, how and when they work, and on and on and on.

Traveling with someone else for work often exhausts me because I realize just how different my Road Routine is than other people’s and often I find myself dumbing down my Road Routine to accommodate the other person.

The two critical factors combined are what create the potential for your road superpower: your energy and your habits.

Did you catch the word “potential?” I want to help you combine both your energy and your habits.

A habit is:  a behavior that is repeated enough times to become automatic, and wow do we have those on the road where we’re just on autopilot. (All pun-intended with the autopilot reference)

But have you ever thought if your habits are bringing you the results you ultimately want on the road? I’ve learned from decades of traveling the one game-changer that affects absolutely everything I do on the road is my energy.

It’s so important to me that I was willingly and unknowingly stealing energy from my own body to fabricate it so I could succeed on the road.

Once I crashed and re-evaluated everything about my life, I had to learn the routines that would not only bring back my energy but would be sustainable energy for the long haul. Did you catch that? Sustainable energy and from the right sources.
They became a framework that I literally needed to learn how to take them on the road and have now become known as Energy Habits.

Why? Because if my energy level is the most important resource for me on the road, I need to find a way to engrain energy so deeply into my Road Routine, they’re done automatically with the sole purpose of providing me sustainable energy to allow me to get the results on what I want and need on a consistent basis.

There was a lot there on that last sentence so if you zoned out, here me out on this key concept:

If my energy level is the most important resource for me on the road, I need to find a way to engrain my energy so deeply into my Road Routine, they’re done automatically with the sole purpose of providing me sustainable energy to allow me to get the results I want and need on a consistent basis.

Consistent results are what both you and your company want from you as a road warrior.

This leads us into the official Elite Road Warrior definition of an Energy Habit:

Energy Habit – a sustainable, repeated behavior that brings energy designed to produce desired results

That’s what I want on every single business trip – a sustainable, repeated behavior that brings energy designed to produce desired results.

Next, I needed to figure out what the energy habits were that I want and need to repeat within the three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior: work/health/home life that I will bring with me on the road and I want to produce results.

This led to the six energy habits framework.

Three energy habits are physical and three energy habits are mental. Let me touch on them briefly:

Three Physical Energy Habits:

  1. Move
  2. Fuel
  3. Rest

Three Mental Energy Habits:

  1. Perform
  2. Develop
  3. Connect

If you follow Elite Road Warrior, you’ve heard this framework. But did you understand the psychology behind habits that produce energy?

This is your superpower on the road.

All six energy habits allow me to produce in the three areas that matter to me: my work, but also my health and my home life. Notice, it’s intentional to have these three focus areas weaved into my Road Routine.

Why You Must Implement Energy Habits on the Road

1. Your energy is not a guaranteed resource and must be recharged – I learned this the hard way so learn from me and recharge your energy on the road.

2. Your energy must be channeled into more than just your work – don’t be “that guy” or “that girl” that loses their health and home life for their career.

3. Your best way to create long-term results is leveraging the Six Energy Habits Framework – Elite Road Warrior has done the work for you so all you need to do is work the system.

To this point we’ve learned the following:

  • Energy is more important than time
  • The definition of an energy habit
  • Why you must implement energy habits on the road

Let’s revisit our definition of an Energy Habit – a sustainable, repeated behavior that brings energy designed to produce desired results.

So let’s lean on an expert to help us develop our road habits. James Clear wrote one of my favorite books of all of last year called Atomic Habits. The 2nd half of this article is credited to his work with my job of translating it to the road. If you’ve not read or listened to his book, your first action item is getting it immediately. A game-changer book for any road warrior.

I love how James Clear frames a habit.

“Each habit is like a suggestion: ‘this is who I am.’ Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs but as the notes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”

The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do.

Two-Step Process:

1. Decide the type of person you want to be
2. Prove it to yourself with small wins

For example, I want to be an elite road warrior, therefore I need to do behaviors of an elite road warrior.

And this is where the Six Energy Habits Framework comes into the picture. I want sustainable, repeated behaviors that bring energy designed to produce desired results in each of the six energy habits.

I want to be a road warrior who:

  • Moves consistently
  • Fuels properly
  • Rests strategically
  • Performs optimally
  • Develops personally and professionally
  • Connects thoughtfully and creatively

So, according to Atomic Habits, each small decision, or habit, is a vote towards being an elite road warrior or a vote towards being an existing road warrior. If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system and this is why we have Energy Habits and the Six Energy Habits Framework to leverage this system to become the best version of you.

James Clear says this:

“All BIG things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”

Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy. And too many a road warrior has some powerful oak size bad habits that don’t serve us or who we are and ultimately who we want to be.

For the seasoned road warrior, they can feel the Travel 20 or in my case the Entitled 40 (aka the weight we’ve gained from the road). We feel the exhaustion of the road or the slow decay of our relationships with those back home we love.

So, this is a perfect time to re-evaluate if our habits are serving us.

Let’s take a moment to get basic and granular in how a habit is even developed.

The process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps:

  1. Cue. A piece of information that suggests there’s a reward to be found, like the smell of a cookie or a dark room waiting to light up.
  2. Craving. The motivation to change something to get the reward, like tasting the delicious cookie or being able to see.
  3. Response. Whatever thought or action you need to take to get to the reward.
  4. Reward. The satisfying feeling you get from the change, along with the lesson whether to do it again or not

The cue is about noticing the reward.
The craving is about wanting the reward.
The response is about obtaining the reward.

So the money question is how do you make an Energy Habit sustainable? James Clear gives Four Laws of Behavior Change to help us implement Energy Habits on the road:

I made it into an acronym: OAES

1. Make it Obvious

“What gets our attention gets attention” (my own quote)
On the road, we need these cues or triggers that catch our attention and remind us to do the desired behavior that brings us energy.

For example, I carry with me absolutely everywhere on the road the Elite Road Warrior water bottle. Why? It’s always out in front of me and an obvious cue to continually hydrate.

My room key cues me to do a routine I called H.OM.E. away from Home. You can learn this cue and routine in episode 015. What can you make obvious on the road that enforces the energy habits?

2. Make it Attractive

The more attractive an opportunity is, the more likely it is to become habit-forming.
I rarely do the things I hate but if I can somehow make it attractive to me, the likelihood of doing it dramatically increases for me.

For example, I love writing in the Elite Road Warrior branded journal. The rich soft, artisan leather calls my name. The Not Forgotten Journal is the same way. And both products are available in the Elite Road Warrior Store.

I love listening to a podcast or audiobook when I workout or go for a walk and have episodes already in the cue. This makes the workout or walk more attractive to me.

What can you make attractive on the road that enforces the energy habits?

3. Make it Easy

Out of the four, this to me was the most important – I needed the habit to be easy to do especially on the road.

James Clear talks a lot about Environment Design. He’s a big advocate that “You don’t have to be the victim of your environment. You can be the architect of it.”

When deciding to practice a new habit, it is best to choose a place that is already in the path of your daily routine. Habits are easy to build when they fit into the flow of your life. It’s the concept of “If This, Then That” in my current environment.

Too often, we try to start habits in high-friction environments. The greater the friction, the less likely the habit. Reduce the friction associated with bad behaviors. When friction is high, habits are difficult.

Sometimes success is less about making good habits easy and more about making bad habits hard. For example, it’s starting very small when integrating an energy habit. Workout for just five minutes each day or read for just five minutes each day on the road.

What can you make easy on the road that enforces the energy habits?

4. Make it Satisfying

With our bad habits, the immediate outcome usually feels good, but the ultimate outcome feels bad. With good habits, it is the reverse: the immediate outcome is unenjoyable but the ultimate outcome feels good.

The cost of your good habits are in the present. The cost of your bad habits are in the future. When the moment of decision arrives, instant gratification usually wins.

As a general rule, the more immediate pleasure you get from an action, the more strongly you should question whether it aligns with your long-term goals.

Just as we are more likely to repeat an experience when the ending is satisfying, we are also more likely to avoid an experience when the ending is painful. Pain is an effective teacher.

Cardinal Rule of Behavior Change – What is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided. For example, when I do the Flat Kiddos in my environment and send those creative pictures to my kids, they’re thrilled knowing dad was thinking of them and that is very satisfying to me.

What can you make satisfying on the road that enforces the energy habits?

Here’s a quick summary of Atomic Habits and how to create a lasting habit:

Sometimes a habit will be hard to remember and you’ll need to make it obvious. Other times you won’t feel like starting and you’ll need to make it attractive. In many cases, you may find that a habit will be too difficult and you’ll need to make it easy.
And sometimes, you won’t feel like sticking with it and you’ll need to make it satisfying.

Obvious…………………. Invisible
Attractive……………….. Unattractive
Easy…………………….. Hard
Satisfying………………. Unsatisfying

An energy habit is the one road superpower you need on every single business trip.

Your Action Items…

1. Pick up the Atomic Habits book or audiobook by James Clear

2. Go to the Elite Road Warrior Store and pick up some items that will make your Energy Habits more obvious/attractive/easy/satisfying

3. Maybe it’s revisiting the Elite Road Warrior book or audiobook as well

4. Or reading the weekly article from Elite Road Warrior on LinkedIn or the Elite Road Warrior site

Take action on this road superpower today.

You Got This!

 

Written by Bryan Buckley · Categorized: Embrace Better, Energy, ERW Podcast, Podcast · Tagged: ERW Podcast, podcast

076 – Interview with Road Warrior Justin Pugh


Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast Episode 076 show notes!

This week on the podcast is an honest conversation with Justin Pugh about life on the road.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

  • “I wasn’t living in a way that made me a good example for my son”
  • If they are a good customer, they know you need to be at your best (healthiest)
    • You have to develop good habits
  • It’s ok to say “no”
    • SAY “NO” MORE
  • You can’t “fake healthy” on the road
  • Be consistent – the road is an extension of home
  • Take a step back and focus yourself
    • do you recognize you?
  • What you eat plays a huge part in how you sleep
  • Anchor Moments – when you say “I need to change”

Podcast Transcript:

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (00:03): Episode 076 of the Elite Road Warrior Podcast.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (00:08): Welcome to the elite road warrior podcast, where we believe you can leverage the road to transform your work health and home life while on business travel to ultimately master the business, travel life. If you’re a road warrior and a great chance you’re on the road right now that this podcast is for you.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (00:34): Welcome to the elite road podcast. I’m your host, Bryan Paul Buckley, fellow road, warrior husband, and one father of five and enjoying a little break from the road right now, but always, and I mean always committed each and every business trip to becoming and remaining an elite road warrior. And I’d love nothing more than for you to join this master evil plan and jump on this road trip. Well, when I met our guest, I clicked with this guy’s energy, his passion, but also his desire to improve in his life. And I’m honored to interview him today and you’re going to enjoy this conversation. Here’s the backstory in adjectives of Justin Pugh, operation enduring freedom, veteran father disgruntled, but hopeful Colts fan second amendment Democrat, lover of technology, and a man of faith. In a moment, I’ll be asking Justin the following questions. Why were you not more willing to slow down on the road? What was your breaking point moment to make a change in your life? How has elite road word content influenced you? What would you say to a road warrior who needs to make some changes? What would you say to a company with business travelers to maximize their business travelers and so much more

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (02:04): Well, I am virtually live right now with my friend, Justin Pugh. How are you and where are you right now?

Guest – Justin Pugh (02:10): A pleasure to meet back with you. Again. I am actually at home in boiling Springs, South Carolina, and I am doing quite well. My friend, thanks for having me. Host –

Bryan Paul Buckley (02:21): Absolutely. Thanks for making me just kidding. It was not that way. all. It only took me numerous times to pressure you into this. So, but Hey, I gotta unpack this before we go anywhere on this interview. So I loved in your bio that you’re disgruntled, but hopeful Colts fan. So tell, tell me about that.

Guest – Justin Pugh (02:37): Hey, look, man. You know, um, we’ve been through a lot, you know, I come from an era, you know, Peyton Manning is my favorite football player. And you know, you, you’re talking about a decade and a half of straight dominance, and then you go to some terrible general manager that beats up your young, fresh, new paint man and runs out of town. And now we get 38-year-old Phillip Rivers for the next year and a half. Do you know what I mean?

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (03:04): Well, at least you got something to look forward to talking to come on, man talking to a Bears fan. So I think we both have a misery loves company when it comes to that such, sorry to bring that up at all for the listeners who have one of those teams in your city, we get you, we feel you and we are so, so Justin, do you remember how we met for the very first time? It was kind of sounds like a dating thing, but that’s not the case, honestly. How do we meet

Guest – Justin Pugh (03:31): I said, I come into my bio that my bio sounded like a match.com advertisement. Anyway, no, I met you. I met you at, Connected Solutions Groups, retreat in the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I want to say October of 2019. Right and that was one of the more transformational moments from, you know, just being a, being a visitor and a customer, of Mike Pittman and his team, but meeting you and having you and seeing you at, during your session, during your, uh, during your particular session. I was impressed. I was really taken aback.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (04:15): Why was that? It’s easy to say that. And Justin, I do appreciate that, but I mean, you weren’t planning to be in there. So all of a sudden you come in here to listen to some guy that’s, you know, we had just kind of visually seen each other through the course of a couple of days, but then all of a sudden you’re in there. So what was your first impression? What struck you about anything dealing with elite road warriors?

Guest – Justin Pugh (04:34): So my role had dramatically changed when I’d gotten to the Outer Banks. I was probably three months into being the new sales executive for the Verizon group at Ingram Micro. And so my travel schedule went from being sedentary, you know, eight to five office guy to an 85% travel schedule in less than 90 days. Wow. And so by the time I’m to you, I’d already gotten pretty much the, I mean, they’ve got me on the ground pretty much running fast. By the time I’ve gotten to the Outer Banks, you were probably my sixth or seventh week on the road in a row. And so everything you talked about within the first 20, 30 minutes had touched me in a way that not only made me emotional but by the time you finished and wrapped up with your final story about you and your wife and your family story, I was practically in tears. So, you know, it was just a transformational moment for me from being a traveler to hear your story to then triangulate it with mine, just made that, that, that should impactful for him.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (05:43): Well, and I appreciate you saying that. And the irony is at the moment, Justin, I mean, we just talked for a couple of minutes afterward and there was another session that needed to happen and you got a book and we just, you know, we talked for a few minutes, but then we saw each other actually six weeks later, the opposite coast in LA. So let’s talk about that for a moment. Cause that’s obviously when you started sharing with me some of the changes that you had made from, you know, obviously more than just an emotional moment and you move on and go from there.

Guest – Justin Pugh (06:10): Yeah. So, I’m glad you brought that up because we met again in LA, at Mobile World Congress for some of your listeners who don’t know, but what Mobile World Congress, one of the largest tech affairs in the world, and I met Bryan Paul at one of his booths that you were attending. And, you know, by that time I was 15 pounds heavier. Um, I was about, at that time again, probably on my six weeks on the road, more depressed, more anxious, busier. I, at the time I didn’t have the training and again, I went from being an eight to five guy to being in an airport 7 hours out of the day, on a typical day. So it was difficult to transition and not having anybody either. And again, not to any fault of my own company, but to not have that internal support, as well as the external support at home with my family. I was a man on an Island. I was a man on an Island.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (07:10): And you’re not an Island guy if I remember that correctly. So therein lies the problem. I’m a city boy. And there you go. You and me both, you know, that’s a little small town in Chicago, so Hey, I do remember one of the things that you had mentioned to Justin was just talking about, you know, needing to talk to your boss and just say, man, I gotta, I gotta pull back a little bit on the road and the hesitancy to have that conversation, but then yet how well it went, you remember that moment?

Guest – Justin Pugh (07:34): I do. And in fact, it was right at the Middle World Congress again, that week was difficult for me. I have my first week in LA for a week at a time nonvacation. I rented a car, so, and I was also traveling from LA into Irvine for separate meetings as well. And by the time I left LA, I was completely stressed out. I mean, completely done. I didn’t have anything. I just had nothing left in my tank from that week, from anxiety to the travel, to just how busy I was. I had tapped myself out in that Monday. I went to my boss and I said, you know, Hey Michelle, I cannot do this. I need about a week off. And she did. And I was very frightened at that time. Cause, keep in mind I was, and I’ve been in, I haven’t been in the job, you know, six months.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (08:32): Sure. Sound like you’re seasoned in that role.

Guest – Justin Pugh (08:35): I’m new to them in the role. Right. And here I am asking for a vacation, you know, you signed up for 80% travel. Why is it an issue now? And so I was afraid and I went to her, I was transparent. I said, Michelle, I need a break. I’m no good to the business right now. And she said, Justin, I need you to have a break too. And that was transformative for me. Yeah.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (08:55): And good for her and, man, I’m proud of you. Cause I know you and I had that conversation that needs to happen. You know, at least an awareness, you know, especially in companies, sometimes they’re there, and they’re doing their deal. You’re doing your deal. And if there’s not that level of communication, that’s there or a company asking about that. You know, therein lies the problem of burnout, and the goal of elite road warrior is to eliminate burnout and exceed results. So in other moments, too if I can take you back, Justin, it really, really hit me was just interactions that you had in this, this feeling of disconnect that you had had with your son because you were with them all the time. And then all of a sudden, boom, you know, you’re hardly around in some of those moments and how he felt about that. Would you be willing to unpack that for a moment?

Guest – Justin Pugh (09:35): I would, you know, I’ve got, one of the things is as parents, you know, our kids don’t think this, but we always say it. I know you better than you know yourself. Right. We tell our kids all the time and it’s true, but it’s also true the opposite way as well. Our kids know us sometimes better than we know ourselves. And I didn’t know myself at the time and it took my son to tell me that, are you okay? My dad is sleeping a lot. You’re sleeping in on a Saturday morning. More often, Hey Dad, you’re eating more unhealthy. And I was just not living right in a way that made me a good example. As a father, I was drinking more. I was eating more for comfort. I stopped working out. Ah, I’ll get it Saturday. I’m too tired. And so your kids see that in you, they see they did, they get concerned.

Guest – Justin Pugh (10:34): And then of course, naturally it removes that barrier of security that you’re supposed to be giving them. And then it allows them to kind of FreeWheel themselves. And so you start seeing your habit kind of leak and manifest themselves into their lives. Procrastination, disorganization, anger, lack of focus. All of those things came, became a guiding kind of almost a cloud over my whole family. And if it starts a path, so if I’m losing, if I’m gaining weight and I’m eating unhealthy and I’m not getting enough sleep, I’m the head of the household, everyone else is going to be doing the same thing. Why is dad like this? So I had to change and I think everything, and I know you’re headed this direction. Believe it or not. Everything came to a head in April, April this year, April 2020 is my body and my mind and professionally I’d said enough, this has gotta stop, changes have to be made.

Guest – Justin Pugh (11:41): And so I had that moment like you had like your wife had that, you told us and, in the Outer Banks that you said, something’s got to change. Those words have never left me. Bryan, I’ll tell you that right now, those words have never left me. Something got to change. And I made that change. In fact, if I can be very transparent, that change manifests itself all the time, it always happens in some big blow up. Right. You know you and your wife have a big argument or you and your spouse have a big argument or you and your son or your daughter, or even you and your colleague. I have a big blow up. And it happened in April. And I had to take a step back to realize, okay, it’s time to get yourself focused. And so, your book, your advice, some of the things I needed to do sleep better, exercise more, be more focused, pay more attention to your family. Take that extra time to yourself, to reenergize. I had to start doing those things, right. I really did.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (12:45): Well just that man. So first of all, I’m proud of you, you know, and, uh, this is a journey. You know, people don’t become elite road warriors immediately. Oftentimes we’re the existing road warrior or the exhausted road warrior. And then we become the experimental road warrior. And so there’s a process to get there. And so I’m really proud of you. And I think it’s so important. So many things you said that just really stood out to me. One is that this is a process. And number two was, you know, sometimes we get a mirror from people. There are the last people. We want to be a mirror and that’s our family, you know, whether it’s a spouse or significant other or a child. And sometimes that’s the hardest to do that. So being willing to hear that, even though it’s so difficult to hear my, as you referenced that something’s got to change, what’s my beautifully angry wife, you know, who told me those words and you want to talk about a humbling moment, you know, a come to Jesus moment. And those are what those are. I also remember too, Justin. You had mentioned something about you, you know, you were gone so much that your son had even grown and you didn’t even realize that. And that kind of was a hurtful moment. Would you be willing to unpack that for a second?

Guest – Justin Pugh (13:47): Yeah. I mean, he had grown as a man, you know, he, he was in college, you know, and I was traveling so much that I just wasn’t there to attend to some of that growth, becoming a man and his language was changing and he had real concerns. Is that the time, you know, I didn’t know that my son wanted to come. He wanted to know leave school. He wanted to drop out. And again, I wasn’t attentive to those things. And you know, he, he stayed an extra semester because his exact words were, I didn’t want to bother you with it. Wow, wow. Right. Instead, I spent $2,000 more of your money because I didn’t want to bother you with it. You know what I mean? And so we’ve got to take a step back sometimes and realize that those things are those moments.

Guest – Justin Pugh (14:34): We have to be attentive and when you’re going, going, going, going, going, and you’re not taking, and I’ll be honest, Bryan, I even now think about it when I think about my travel schedule. And I think some of your listeners will very much agree with me and probably align with this is we use it as a way to getaway. Very true. Right. We use it as a way to getaway. And I found that I was using, you know, getting away from that situation or that particular issue at home or whatever the case we use it to getaway. And I find that, like you said, if we recenter ourselves, travel becomes, this is what I have to do in order for me to get back home, to be with the family and to feel that love. But I want to, I want to pick up on something that you said about that “come to Jesus moment” because I want to tell you what mine was really, really quick. Right? I was in Virginia and I was in Alexandria. We’d just gotten, I forgot where I was traveling in from. All I know is that I’d injured my toe pretty bad. When I got to Alexandria, I, I put my toe, I, you know, guys, it’s a hotel. I couldn’t find anything else. So I put my toe, I put my foot inside the ice bucket. Okay. I couldn’t find anything else though. So forgive me.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (15:54): I feel bad for the next guy

Guest – Justin Pugh (15:56): For the next guy. Anyway, I couldn’t find anything else. I put my foot inside this ice bath and inside the ice tub. The next morning I woke up, I’m getting ready for, I’m getting ready to get to the meeting to go downtown and meet the next customer. I look in the mirror. I look in the mirror, I’m brushing my beard, getting ready, Bryan. And I didn’t like what I saw, my eyes are bloodshot and keep in mind, after a shower I’ve been up for probably three or four hours, probably had two cups of coffee.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (16:23): And this one you’re supposed to be looking good, man.

Guest – Justin Pugh (16:26): I’ve got on. I’ve got on cologne. I’ve got my clothes on. I said, man, I’m, I’m dialed in, but I don’t look good. I don’t like what I see in the mirror. I am 20 pounds heavier. I’m 208 pounds. My typical way guys like 190, right? That’s my fighting weight. I’m 208. I’m tired. My foot hurts. I’m disheveled by my beard. I hadn’t probably shaved my beard in probably, you know, probably two or three weeks. And at that point, I knew that was my coming to this meeting. You look bad. And I felt that way at my customer. I mean, I probably the worst decision I made was looking in the mirror that morning. Cause the rest of the day was just a lack of confidence the entire day. Do you know what I mean? And that’s what that does to you. That’s what not attending to your thoughts and following your six habits. That’s what they do to you. It beats you down and life will beat you into submission and you look up off the mat and you’re like, where the hell am I? What happened to me?

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (17:23): Well, and that guy, that guy follows us around in every single hotel. I’m like, how does he know where I am? But he follows me in every single mirror. And to your point, unless we do something about it and have something’s got to change moment. You know, whether it’s the words of your son, waking you up a little bit, or these little moments that come along the way. And that’s the reason why Elite Road Warrior Group exists. That’s why, you know, the session you heard on the six energy habits or the Elite Road Warrior workshop, a live workshop, or an online consultant coming into a company. And really having those moments where we can think about our lives in our road lives and who have we become? Is that what we want, who we want to be?

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (18:03): And do we feel like our sons don’t want to interrupt us, or our wife has to be in tears to say, something’s got to change and I mind you, it doesn’t have to get this bad, right? Justin. I mean, a lot of people who are listening to the interview may be nowhere near where we ended up, but unless there’s some intervention, whether it’s from the company or a spouse, a family member, a child, or our own selves, we’re headed down that busy. Can’t stop now, beat down. Can’t take this and into burnout. I can’t get going which is the exhaustion cycle. Would you agree?

Guest – Justin Pugh (18:35): I would agree. We’re all headed that way. Right? We’re all headed there and it doesn’t have to be that way. Right? You can identify where you are now. If you’re feeling yourself tired, if you wake up in the morning to getting to the airport and you’re finding out, you know, you’re drinking three or four cups of coffee before you get on the plane, take a step back. If you haven’t exercised, gone for a jog, you know, a month, you need to start doing those things. If you haven’t, like you said, connected with your family or taken that three or four-day vacation that you’ve been talking about, or, you know, forever, you need to. And, you know, fortunately, you know, Bryan, I worked for Ingram Micro, a very progressive company, a very, you know, bleeding-edge type company. They believe in, in making sure that the associate that, that the frontline is taken care of. So when we come to them with these concerns, they’re very receptive to making sure that there’s change because we, they know that if their road warriors are not healthy, we don’t have a business.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (19:39): Absolutely. I’m thinking of inconsistent results.

Guest – Justin Pugh (19:42): Inconsistent results. And in fact, that’s exactly what I gave in April. Like April was one of our most successful months. And I still felt like I wasn’t my, I wasn’t my best because I was at my worst from a mental perspective because of the undiagnosed and the untreated issues from my road life back in the first half of the year.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (20:12): And would you say oftentimes too Justin it’s, it’s maybe it’s our pride. We don’t want to admit that we’re not Superman on the road, that we can’t be this high-performance car, always going 100 miles an hour and you know, we’ll sleep when we’re dead or sleep is the enemy, or I can eat it, whatever I want and that it’s never going to catch up with us. Is there a sense of pride or ignorance or what would you say is the, is the catalyst to this?

Guest – Justin Pugh (20:34): You know what I think, I think it works twofold. I think there’s a sense of pride on our side, for me, it was, I don’t wanna let the business down. I don’t want to let down the business. Now I told these guys I’m going to go out here and I’m going to bring back a lot of business. So you go out there and you grind and you grind and you grind because you made a commitment to people, right? And so you now feel yourself being a part of something much bigger, much larger. So you have very well-intentioned, right? We all have very well intentions What happens though, is that those intentions spin out of control for ourselves. And on the opposite end, you’ve got your executive director or your VP of sales doing the same thing, pushing you. Hey, Hey, I just got another lead from another customer.

Guest – Justin Pugh (21:15): Hey, go to Detroit. Hey, you know, I got another opportunity for you at the retail affair in New York. Hey, good. There, I mean, I had, you know, an incident where I almost went to three cities in New York all in one day by plane. I almost did that. Right. It’s the insanity of it all thinking about that, right? So it’s not necessarily, it shows that ignorance. We all make a lot of money. All of us, if you’re an elite warrior, you are probably earning, above the middle-class average. So we’re not, we’re not dumb people. It’s just that our pride, as well as the people at the high end, that’s pushing that we’re putting business before people. And it should always be people first. Cause if people aren’t healthy than your business will also, that business unhealth will follow as well. So I think now more than ever, we should take this, you know, this proactive approach and making sure that we’re always keeping in, you know, your six energy habits in mind when we’re trying to develop good habits on the road so that we don’t fall into the trap where, you know, I can sleep when I’m dead. Yeah. But you’re dead,

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (22:34): Minor yet important detail.

Guest – Justin Pugh (22:36): Exactly. That’s a small detail. So yeah, Bryan, you know, we, we just need to keep vigilant of our own selves, put ourselves first and then the business needs, we’ll take care of it after that,

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (22:47): You know, and that’s so good too, Justin, cause of the reality is, I mean, a lot of us who are road warriors, we’re good at what we do. We love it. And which is also the problem, you know, we’re killing it on the road, but then I hear often from guys. Yeah. And then I’m getting killed at home, you know, I’m important on the road, but then I am visible at home. You know, I’m in complete control of my world and making decisions on the road. And I feel kind of out of control in my own world at home. And that’s hard, you know, especially when we are in control and we’re killing it and important to come back to, unfortunately, the people that really matter the most, if we have a family or friends or a spouse or significant other to be able to make that transition to be there.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (23:26): And oftentimes there’s either a letdown, we’ve been doing it so long, a bad way. That is just kind of the new norm or it’s just one of those things where like, I don’t even know how to make changes, man. I don’t have control when I’m by myself on the road. How in the world can I make any changes at home? And I think to your credit, I appreciate you saying that the premise of the six habits framework gives us at least some context to be able to nuance. You know, some of these changes we need to make on the road. So let’s kind of unpack some of these with you. Whether, whether you look at it from the old Justin to the new Justin, you know, getting back to travel, as far as, you know, things that you’re going to do differently or things you didn’t do well and things that you were improving on now. So let’s talk a little bit about just maybe you mentioned sleep, so let’s go there for a minute. You know, what was the quality and quantity of your sleep before and what do you want and need it to be back on the road to be an elite road warrior?

Guest – Justin Pugh (24:18): We all know sleep is one of those things that doesn’t come very, uh, it doesn’t come easy to the word war year. Most of the time, our business meetings leak into nine, 10 o’clock and it normally involves a nightcap and normally involves an after nightcap with another group of people. And so before you know it, you’re back at the hotel at one o’clock in the morning, right. And then you’re back up at 5:00 AM to check those emails so that you just, so you’re not checking them in your eight, at your 8:00 AM meeting. Um, and of course that same day is a marathon meeting from eight to four. And then after that, we all want to go out to dinner and do the same thing all over again the same night, but four nights in a row. Right.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (24:55): And then you wake up the next day, sharp as a bull.

Guest – Justin Pugh (24:58): Yeah. Oh, man. You’re sharp. Right? You’re ready. Um, no, you’re not actually. And so one of the things that I found myself doing was I just gave me, told everybody before the night started, Hey guys, I got hard, like this. Let me do. I got a hard stop. Hey guys a hard stop at 11 o’clock, I’ll see you guys at 8:00 AM. And I noticed that, Hey, you know, the VP of sales didn’t mind doing it. I noticed that the executive director didn’t mind doing it. So why shouldn’t I just say, Hey guys, I’m tired too? Been a long day. I’m going to call it a night. Now the new, the old Justin didn’t do that because the old Justin said if the customer’s up, I’m going to be up. The customer is going to party all night. I’m going to party all night. And that’s just not the way it works, guys. You know your customer, if they’re a good customer, should know, Hey, he needs to be my best advocate. My squeaky wheel and the inside of the business. I need him healthy too.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (25:52): And he probably feels the same way as you too, Justin.

Guest – Justin Pugh (25:55): So look now the new Justin I’m in bed by 10 o’clock every night. And of course, you know, naturally, you know, when you’re on the road now, you know, you want to be sharp. So you give yourself a good timeframe to be in bed. Like I’m going to have all my emails done. And honestly, I’ll tell you this, Bryan, I would take it back as, as if the road is an extension of the home. It’s consistency, right? It’s consistency. I get it. If you can’t, if it’s different, if you’re flying in from, you know, LAX and you’re getting there 1130 at night, right. But if you’re getting there at one o’clock in the afternoon and you’ve got time to structure your day, Hey, eight o’clock guys, I’m going to be back at the hotel, talk to the kids till 8:30, you know, talk to them until they’re getting ready to go to bed until nine.

Guest – Justin Pugh (26:41): Get my last bit of emails. No done by about nine 30, 10 I’m in bed by 11. And then I’m up the next morning, the same routine that I do every morning, 7:30, get up, drink my coffee. I call my significant other. Talk to my phone on the way to school. You see it’s. So it’s all about following that pattern. Um, and it’s also a part of that, of course, is the fuel part too, because which to eat before you go to bed, plays a huge part in how you sleep. Right. It’s serious. So when I’m on the road, I don’t go and get Uber eats and get the next pizza that I can find, you know, Hey, I’m going to find a, if I have to order out, let me find a Mediterranean place that has a good Mediterranean salad that I can take advantage of some white with some salmon or something healthy that will help me digest easy that the next morning I wake up sharp, prepared, ready to take a shower and get my day started. So it’s very important that, you know, again, you say, use the right word. It provides us a framework, those six energy habits, especially when it comes to fuel and sleep, that really catapult you into the other parts of the six energy habits that you’ll also need, uh, on a more consistent basis.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (27:51): Okay. So let’s and you brought up a good point. So let’s talk about it for a second. How many people? Well, two things. One is, I don’t know anybody. If they don’t work out at home, start working out on the road or somebody who doesn’t think they’ll be at home doesn’t start eating healthy on the road. That’s a different conversation. But to your points, when you’re more tired, what are your chances? Like you said that you’re gonna eat healthier or that you’re going to get up to go workout,

Guest – Justin Pugh (28:15): Almost none.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (28:16): Exactly. And that’s day one ones on day three or day four. So, but you do all of this because you want energy and energy to perform your best on the road. Hence they’re called six energy habits. And I think what I’m hearing from you and correct me if I’m wrong, Justin, and feel free to, you know, to riff on this, you want to perform at your best. But if you’re looking at going, okay, well, I’m going to miss this next drink or my fifth one with this Joe customer who I really don’t like, and it looks like he’s already checking his watch and wants to go, but it’s an excuse for me to stay up late or and if that’s why I stay up late until then, therefore I wake up the next morning, more tired, more stressed. And then that has its own problems. It’s really, if our mindset shifts in order for me to perform at my best, I need to have energy, and whatever I need to do needs to be able to create energy movement creates energy. Food is fuel. Fuel creates energy, rest creates energy. Am I hitting the right theme? Are you agreeing with that?

Guest – Justin Pugh (29:13): You absolutely are. Again, all these six energy habits feed themselves, right? They feel in themselves. So you need the fuel, right? The fuel to help you get through the day you need the rest that helps you perform the next day. Right? And now, of course, it helps you to overtime, as you develop those habits, you develop those good habits. Then you perform better. You develop into a better person, right? And then of course that allows you, putting it all together, to connect better with people like you, with your family, with your customers. I’ve noticed that one of the things and this could be on there. This is people, right? The way you introduce yourself, the way you walk through a door, you can tell, you know how that meeting is going to go based on your own energy. This is not going to be a very good meeting because I don’t have the energy to show it.

Guest – Justin Pugh (30:06): And honestly, you can’t fake and you cannot fake not having anxiety. You can’t fake not getting sleep. You can’t fake not being overweight. People see those things and all of those things. And again, I’m not saying that those things are bad in and of itself, right? You know, so I’m not, you know, weight shaming, anybody. What I’m saying is, is that it’s important that we have to develop good habits so that we can always perform at our best. Even as parents, even as professionals. I’m no good to myself. If I got to sleep in until one o’clock every Saturday, I wasted my entire day with my kid. I’m a good dude, myself. If I’ve got to take three or four naps on a Monday because you know, I’m not, I’m not getting enough rest or not getting the right fuel. I’m no good to myself.

Guest – Justin Pugh (30:53): If, of course, I’m on a tight connection from Atlanta to Detroit. And I got to get from Terminal A to Terminal B. And I’m all, I’m, I’m all the way at, uh, at gate 35. And in Atlanta, I gotta be able to run to get to that next terminal. You know, I’m telling you, and it takes a toll on you folks, and you gotta be able again, Bryan, you’re on the right. You’re on the right track here, full circle, full circle. We want to make sure that we’re always using these guidelines, these, these, these frameworks to help us build better habits. And then we can kind of tweak them ourselves as we get better over time.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (31:29): So then Justin, what would you say to a road warrior who’s listening right now who needs to make some of these changes?

Guest – Justin Pugh (31:38): You gotta look at yourself in the mirror and you gotta say something has to change. I know you’re there. I know that was there, Paul. I mean, Bryan, you know, you were there, Bryan, we both were, you knew, you knew you were there. And in fact, we were there at the same time. We didn’t know it.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (31:52): That’s true.

Guest – Justin Pugh (31:54): And it was so right now is the recognizing that I am there. That’s step number one, step. Number two is if you’re not a business owner and you have to answer to somebody, it is now going to your leadership in saying, I need a break. And here’s why, and if you have good leadership, they’re going to say, okay, Justin, I need you healthy. Go get that break. If they’re bad leadership, and you have to re-evaluate the way who you’re working for, they’re going to tell you something, uh, something different. But the second step is to ask for help. The third step is to take that time that you have, right? And you rest you rest. And whether it’s a week, take two days to just rest. I mean, yesterday, I’ll be honest, guys, look, Bryan, and try to get you on this podcast for the last year and a half.

Guest – Justin Pugh (32:45): But it’s taken almost two, three days to get me on it because the last thing I wanted to rest, and then the last thing I would say. That was progress, right? And honestly, honestly, I am a, I am one of the one, one of the things I’m working on. And I know I noticed the sidetrack is saying no better. Is say no more. It’s okay. It’s okay to say no guys. I promise you. Now the final step in the process is to develop a plan. Right? Okay. I’ve gotten my rest. I know that. I look like crap. I feel like crap. I’m treating my family, like crap. I’m feeling like I’m cheating my body. I’m not treating myself right. I am not gifting myself with anything. Good. And now you ask herself, what do I have to do to refuel my body? What am I going to put back into me?

Guest – Justin Pugh (33:35): That’s going to help me be better. And a part of that is the next morning I’m gonna get up and just go for a walk. Let’s go get, Go for a walk. It’s just little steps. And Bryan, I want to say this really quick to all your listeners. It is hard. And the hardest part is the first day. Think about it. Every part of our, every experience about everything we do from the first day of school, think about how hard that first day was. Even as parents. I remember in, in Bryan, you know, I don’t care to admit this. I think I cried when I dropped my son.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (34:11): Oh, of course. First day of school.

Guest – Justin Pugh (34:13): Right? Either they’re, they’re, they’re pathetic. They’re small. They’re sad to these new people, right? Everything is new on that first day. It’s hard on the first day, but boy, you get them to the second day and they don’t. Even when I walk you in its school anymore, you can go, you can go, dad. I’m good now. Right? That’s cause it’s easier now, right? It wasn’t such a leap. So that first day will be difficult. That first walk you take, or that first jog you take, or that first salad you eat that first 24 ounces of water you have to drink. It’s always the hardest one, but the second and the third and the fourth one, they get easier, easier, and easier if you stick to it.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (34:52): But it has to start with that first day and that just because, and, and to use the were vernacular, we call that the anchor day. And if you think about your first day, your business trip, the first day, when you come home, it’s the behaviors that you do on your first day. If you eat healthily on the road your first day, you’re more likely to do that the rest of the week. If you, if you rest well, if whatever your connections are with your family, it makes a huge, huge difference. I really, really do appreciate your honesty on that. Let me ask you the flip side of the question. What would you say, Justin, to accompany with business travelers to help them maximize their own business travel?

Guest – Justin Pugh (35:29): Wow, that’s a that’s a good question, boy. Um, I didn’t expect that when that wasn’t guys that weren’t in the, in the prepared script, by the way, he didn’t let me see that question. No, that’s a good one because I think it starts at the very top, right. You know, our leaders, they say to, you know, that, you know, I had one executive director who said, look, I’m on the road 300 days out of the year, I’m on the road. Wow. Um, that wouldn’t work for me, of course. Right. So it starts with leadership displaying good work-life balance first. And then of course sending that message throughout the entire company and showing through real policies that we care about. Work-life balance. I can tell you right now, I work for a company that cares extremely about work-life balance. That’s great. Okay. All right.

Guest – Justin Pugh (36:21): A large part of the reason why there’s no real policy change at the very top is cause a lot of leaders don’t know. Right? So I would say that, any company has to make sure that they are open to suggestions from their travelers. You have to get feedback from them. Maybe even create a travel feedback forum. So after your, your, you know, your, your road warrior, you know, sends their expense report and their, you know, their weekly report or their trip report, maybe send a survey back, how are you doing? How is your mental health, how was your travel experience? Was there something about traveling that we need to change? How was your expensing experience? So making sure that you’re monitoring how your travelers are traveling, that’s number one, step number two is helping them travel better, right? Maybe we get someone like Bryan Buckley in our company that helps train our road warriors on how to be more organized, how to be more focused, how to eat better, how to sleep better, how to perform better on the road.

Guest – Justin Pugh (37:31): Because performing on the road is totally different than performing at a desk eight to five, Monday through Friday, I can tell you that right now it’s totally different. Right? And then last but not least, I think it’s all about accountability as well. Right? So now that we’ve given you all these tools to be better on the road, you don’t have an excuse to get on the road, you know, haggard and tired and out of shape and whatever the case might be. So now it’s about accountability. Hey Justin one of your customers said that, that you came into a meeting, you know, you just look tired, man. You know, you know, is there something that I can do for you? And it’s not just accountability by saying, Hey, Justin, your info, because the customer called and put to look bad, a customer called and was concerned.

Guest – Justin Pugh (38:17): I want to take care of you. Do you need a break? And then you hold as a leader, you hold yourself accountable and saying, I should have known that because maybe I should have talked to him throughout that week while he was on the road. So maybe while your, while your road warriors on the road, maybe an evening touchpoint at the end of the day, Hey Justin, I’m gonna send you a quick text. How are you doing today? And if that’s too cumbersome for some leaders, maybe it could be something as quick as, again, as a text message. As you know, maybe a quick email, whatever the case might be. There are multiple ways that we can create layers of accountability to make sure that everybody is making sure we’re all being healthy on the road. Um, so I hope that answered your question a little bit

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (39:06): And I love it. And Justin, I absolutely, and I wanted to catch you off guard because you’re going through a transition. You went from the first transition of, of working from a desk than to be on the road all the time. And then a transition of, eh, I feel like I kind of need to change a little bit. And to all of a sudden, now you’re realizing something’s got to change and you’re making those changes right now. And I’m so proud of you for that. But I also love your, you hit on the three specific areas where we help with companies or we help with road warriors. It starts with awareness. We need to be aware of what we’re doing. And then it moves into application. I need to do something about it. And then it moves into accountability where we’ve got that ongoing conversation and to your point where you don’t feel like you’re going to get in trouble, or you feel like you’re weak or not performing well, if you’re giving an honest answer, knowing you’re going to get hit over the head by giving the answer, the honest answer. But knowing that there’s that true authenticity because they truly care. And one of the phrases I hear often, and I tell companies this all the time from road warriors personally. And they say this if you invest in me personally, I’ll invest more professionally and of really caring about me as a person that I’m going to produce more professionally. So, man, I love what you said, Justin, do you have any closing thoughts for us?

Guest – Justin Pugh (40:23): I do. Um, there’s a quote in your book. um at the very end at the afterward. I’m gonna read it really quick here. It says, so road warrior when your road career’s done, how would you look back on it? What if you ended today no more trips. What would you regret? Did you sacrifice your health and your home life at the cost of overworking? What can you change? How, what can you change now? by implementing the six energy habits of move fuel, rest, form, develop and connect that will transform your work health and home life on the road from now on. And if there’s anybody out there who’s listening, um, that you’re struggling with, you know, you’re you want to perform, you mean very well. You know, Bryan, and I know that that you mean well and you want to do well. Nobody gets up in the morning flies to Detroit to suck.

Guest – Justin Pugh (41:15): You know what I mean? But, but you need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself first. And it starts with making sure that you answer those questions. What does all of this mean? If you have to be rushed to the hospital at 11 o’clock at night when you get home from an anxiety attack and you’ve got to put your family through all that stress. So now is the day. Today is your anchor day use today to look in the mirror, have that Virginia moment that I had. You don’t look good. Something has to change. Have that moment that Bryan had with his wife, when his wife told him, all right, you’re paying more attention to this job and not of this family and it has to change or I’m outta here. And so before you lose everything that matters the most to you look yourself in the mirror and have that anchor moment where you say tomorrow is day one, I’m going to make that change. And it starts with, you know, you know, first acknowledging it, getting the help, making your leadership, aware, developing your own plan, executing it and developing yourself into that elite road warrior that we all know that you can be. That’s all I got Bryan

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (42:25): Well Justin, what a gift man. I really do appreciate the organicness of this conversation and the willingness to be vulnerable and to kind of share your journey with us. I truly hope it’s encouraged road warriors. Those who take care of the road, warriors and companies, and ultimately our family and our friends who are really the most important to us and benefit from this conversation. So Justin, thank you so much. Guest – Justin Pugh (42:48): My pleasure, Bryan, thank you.

Buckley Family (42:53): You’re listening to our dad on season two of the elite road warrior podcast brought to you by the Buckley kids. This is Tray. This is Cole. This is Caleb. This is Kaitlin. This is Austin. Make connecting with your family a priority on the road.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (43:13): The road can be hard. It can be difficult to be both productive and effective. It’s a challenge to stay healthy and in shape in a battle to stay connected with those you love back home, but it doesn’t have to be this way. The elite road warrior book, six energy habits that transformed your business travel life is now available. If you’re a road warrior and just tired of where you’re at in your business travel life, or, you know, you have more in you than this book is for you. The print version, digital Kindle version and audiobook is now available on Amazon. Pick up your copy and continue your journey on becoming an elite road warrior.

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (43:50): I’m like the thing Justin, for his time, his honesty and man, his challenges as an elite road warrior

Host – Bryan Paul Buckley (44:02): You can find this episode’s content in all the links of the show notes at eliteroadwarrior.com/076. You can also access the free resource 10 business travel guide in the same location at eliteroadwarrior.com/076. And if you’re not connected with me on LinkedIn, reach out to me at Bryan Paul Buckley. And if you’re on Instagram, you can find me also at @eliteroadwarrior. If you’re interested in changing your company’s travel culture, reach out to me at eliteroadwarrior.com. And if you’re a company with business travelers, consider bringing an elite road workgroup, we can help you in one of three ways. We can help you by having you come to the Chicago land area for a day and a half workshop. We can come to you on onsite consulting for leadership training, then also training the road warriors. And we could also help you with ongoing online training for accountability. You can find us at eliteroadwarrior.com and as always wherever you are, do something, anything just, not nothing to master the business, travel life, leverage the content from this interview to become and remain an elite road warrior today. You got this

You Can Listen to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast on the Following:

  • Apple Podcasts
  • Spotify
  • Stitcher
  • Google Play
  • Elite Road Warrior Site
  • Pandora

More about Elite Road Warrior:

Top 10 Business Travel Hacks Guide

Road Warrior Assessment

Elite Road Warrior Book

Elite Road Warrior Store

Elite Road Warrior on YouTube

LinkedIn – Bryan Paul Buckley
Instagram – EliteRoadWarrior

Written by Bryan Buckley · Categorized: ERW Podcast, Podcast · Tagged: ERW Podcast, podcast

075 – Why You May Be Living in the Exhaustion Cycle

 


How many of you are just plain tired?

The grind of business travel can just plain wear you out at times. Early flights. Late flights. Delayed flights. Canceled meetings. Late dinners.

Is anyone deeply tired? I mean you feel tired at a whole new level.

And how many more of you can take that a few steps further and would say you’re exhausted?

There’s physical exhaustion when your body is just wasted, ka-put.

Then there’s being mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Have you been there before?

Maybe you’re there now.

Most road warriors live at a pace that is simply unsustainable over a long period of time.

And oh how we try!

But here’s the challenge: you simply don’t realize the exhaustion when you’re in the middle of it.

A friend of mine, Dennis Mcintee, always says, “You can’t read the label when you’re inside the bottle.”

Others can. They see it and even feel it. Sometimes avoid it.

The Exhaustion Cycle is a real thing.

I lived it and it took my crash for me to get out of this vicious cycle.

And the problem is once you escape The Exhaustion Cycle it’s not a once and for all, one and done and never going back cycle.

It will lure and suck you back in before you know it.

Kinda like that bad bad girlfriend I found myself going back to in high school.

The difference is once you realize it, you can get out of it earlier or avoid it altogether the next time.

Ideally, your company notices before you do and can help you stay out of the exhaustion cycle quicker than you trying on your own. And that’s the type of company you want to work for!

Here Are The Three Phases Of The Exhaustion Cycle:

PHASE ONE = BUSY – CAN’T STOP NOW

It’s a new greeting or hello on the road.

“How are you?” “Busy. How are you?”

Then we feel obligated to prove just how busy we are and if you’re sick like me, you try to outdo the other person and one-up them.

“Let me tell you about MY week or MY travel stretch, I would trade you in a second!”
Really?

It’s sad but being busy is the new status symbol.
I have to be busy if I’m going to be important.

We don’t know any other way. We remove any possible margin and downtime. We start our week this way and in full swing before lunch. On Monday.

Now, I want to state upfront, busy could be a very good thing if it means things are happening. Forward motion. It becomes an issue when it becomes a consistent pace and the only way we do life.

There are busy seasons but all too often we live busy lives.

And oh there’s a RUSH to being busy. Making things happen.

I love this quote by James Gleick in the book, Faster: “Our ability to work fast and play fast gives us power. It thrills us. If we have learned the name of just one hormone, it’s adrenaline. No wonder we call a sudden exhilaration a “rush”.”

But here’s the takeaway: it’s not a sustainable pace.
The problem is being busy is never noticed and corrected, but often just the way things are for us, our way of life.

When I get too busy, I become distracted, rushed, impatient, more prone to make errors, and I usually don’t enjoy what I’m doing as much. You also don’t feel like you can bother a busy person because, well, they’re busy. I feel rushed with them like I don’t have their full attention.

Sadly, I’m that guy too often. Busy is having little to no margin. And margin means having space to breathe.

BUSY = I’m hurried. And busy doesn’t always mean productive.

When I’m overly busy, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything very well. I have to move on to the next thing. And I have a love/hate relationship with being busy.

I hate being hurried and hassled by an overcrowded schedule. But I also love being in demand and the adrenaline rush of a fast-paced life. Ugh!!!

I once heard someone say, “I’ve been thinking about starting a support group for compulsive hurriers. The upside is our meetings wouldn’t last long.”

Even Thomas Kelly said back in 1941: “We feel honestly the pull of many obligations and try to fulfill them all. And we are unhappy, uneasy, strained, pressed, and fearful we shall be shallow… We have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power.”

Wow, over 75 years ago this was quoted and look how much busier and hurried we are now. It’s not easy to slow down in our lives. Despite the complaining, we like the exhilaration and rush.

Even if we take a moment to think about how to get off the proverbial treadmill, we’re not sure where to even begin. Busy is a slippery slope, a downward spiral that rarely is an end but only the beginning.

We don’t feel like we can pull back because we “can’t stop now.” My energy is dispersed. It’s ALL over the place. And it’s the opposite of focus.

It’s going absolutely everywhere because I’m busy and there’s “people to see and things to do.”

Don’t you know I’m busy people!

Phase One of the Exhaustion Cycle – Can’t Stop Now = I’m Hurried and my Energy is Dispersed

You can be busy for a long time before phase 2 but it will come unless something dramatically changes in the way you do life which we’ll learn, after this short break.

Busy, if not kept in check by you as the road warrior or preferably your company can very easily lead to the next phase, which is:

PHASE TWO = BEATDOWN – CAN’T TAKE THIS

Busy, “can’t stop now” builds in pressure. Rarely does it stop with busy. You don’t immediately end up in beatdown from busy but IF you keep up the busy pace of always being hurried and little to no margin, it will inevitably lead to feeling beatdown.

This is inward. No one usually knows when you move from Busy to Beatdown. Remember, Beatdown is a feeling and you start thinking: I Can’t Take This! Whatever feelings of fun or a rush you were getting from “being busy” have officially left the building. A thing of the past.

If this is the case, you’re officially entered Beatdown. But it’s subtle so you must look for the signs.
Personally, I feel more frustrated, more easily irritated. I become passive-aggressive. I feel tension. I even feel cynical sometimes I’m embarrassed to say.

I also become more defensive like everyone is after me. My self-talk increases. It starts with: “I don’t want to do this” then “I can’t take this.” And when it gets really bad, it turns into audible unintelligent man sounds: UGH! ARGH!

I also get snarky, more sarcastic, and more cutting with my words. It never ends well and has become an area of growth for me.

Remember, Busy = I’m hurried but…
Beatdown = I’m stressed.

Busy is beginning to pile on and it’s no longer as fun. The “rush” is wearing off. Not cool, man. You’re officially feeling its stress. And people handle stress in different ways.

Some ways are healthy, such as exercise, downtime, or even taking much needed time off of work.

But most people’s stress outlets are often unhealthy, especially when you’re too busy and beatdown.

We think we don’t have the time or can’t take the time to do the very things that relieve this stress.

This is never good Road Warriors.

For me, it starts with my muscles getting tight in my neck and shoulders with no back rub in sight. Then I move on to lazy or poor eating choices. I want something I can control and makes me feel better. I want little preparation and a quick reward. Snacks. I also get lazy on my eating and drinking to “feel better”. A little more sauce (aka vino) and a lot more Oreos. Hide the bag from the women and children. Those Oreos are going to get hurt and it won’t be pretty.

My energy goes from dispersed in the BUSY phase to decreased.

My ENERGY is DECREASED

My energy NOT my stress is decreased. Your Stress INCREASES and Energy DECREASES.

As my 4-year-old says: “that NO good!”

When we’re in the Beatdown Phase and let’s say you use the weekend to regroup, you’ll fly through the Busy Phase and into the Beatdown Phase before the end of the

day Monday.
Something has to change.

And once you’re in the Beatdown Phase, you almost always end up in the final phase of the Exhaustion Cycle:

PHASE THREE = BURNOUT – CAN’T KEEP GOING

Sadly, most road warriors have been there. We just don’t care anymore. We just want everything to stop.

And what happens when we can’t keep going?

Things start dropping.

Busy = I’m Hurried.
Beatdown = I’m Stressed.
But complete Burnout = I’m Done.

Check, please.

I simply don’t have the bandwidth needed to get what needs to be done because I’m done.

This is a bad place. And it doesn’t end quickly. No more quick fixes. Everything good that was working for you is usually gone – sleeping well / eating healthy / fitness to even more movement.

I recently read a commencement speech delivered by Brian Dyson, the former COO of Coca-Cola a number of years ago: “Imagine life as a game in which you’re juggling some five balls in the air.

You name them – work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they’ll be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same.”

Here’s the moral of the story:

We cannot afford to drop the highest priorities…

And when you get to Beatdown, the likelihood is incredibly high that one or more of the glass balls will be dropped. Some very important glass balls may be scuffed, nicked and damaged.

And for many, their health is the very first thing that goes. We know we need to change things but we’re SO far from where we used to be, it just seems insurmountable. And what happens to my energy in the Beatdown Phase?

It went from dispersed to decreased but now…

My ENERGY is DEPLETED

Symptoms could be:

  • No motivation to do anything
  • Anger
  • Aggressive (passive in passive-aggressive now sold separately)
  • Numb or choosing numbing behaviors

This is the Jekyll and Hyde side of you – the complete opposite of who you were and possibly the ugly side. It is for me.

Burnout is L-O-N-G and often painful for you and those around you. Burnout is also scary. It can lead to any or all of the following:

  • Depression
  • Reaction – anywhere but here mindset
  • Regret – do something stupid (usually big) to feel better or feel anything at all

This is where glass balls in the juggling example crack or even shatter. Health and Relationships are the most critical. The Burnout Phase should “scare the exhaustion out of you!”

Drastic measures often need to be taken by you as a road warrior or your company and ironically, this is the purpose of the Elite Road Warrior Group, to help eliminate burnout and exceed results for business travelers.

There is hope. There IS a way OUT of the Exhaustion Cycle…

Here’s a remake of Psalm 23 for those who live in The Exhaustion Cycle:

Psalm 23 revisited

The road is my dictator, I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me into deep depression, it hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for busyness’ sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it all done, for me “ideal” is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule.
They anoint my head with migraines, my inbox overflows.
Surely busy, beatdown, and burnout shall follow me all the days of my life.
And I will dwell in the bonds of the exhaustion cycle forever.

–Living on Purpose by Tom and Christine Sine and altered in key places by Bryan Paul Buckley

 

More about Elite Road Warrior:

Top 10 Business Travel Hacks Guide
Road Warrior Assessment
Elite Road Warrior Book
Elite Road Warrior Store
Elite Road Warrior on YouTube
LinkedIn – Bryan Paul Buckley
Instagram – EliteRoadWarrior

Written by Bryan Buckley · Categorized: Embrace Better, Energy, ERW Podcast, Podcast · Tagged: ERW Podcast, podcast

074 – Interview with John Di Domenico


Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast Episode 074 show notes! This week on the podcast is a interview with John Di Domenico about staying on top of your game while on the road.

You Can Listen to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast on the Following:

  • Apple Podcasts
  • Spotify
  • Stitcher
  • Google Play
  • Elite Road Warrior Site
  • Pandora

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

  1. How do you handle your energy level with the challenges of your job?
    • Becoming acutely aware of energy drops
  2. What does exercise look like for you on the road?
    • Every minute counts when on the road, so be ready when the window opens!
  3. What do you find yourself eating and drinking as an entertainer on the road?
    • Make the pre-decison to make a healthier choice
  4. How much sleep do you get and what is the quality of your rest?
    • More sleep is the greatest gift you can give yourself
  5. What do you want to improve in your Road Life right now?
    • Cleaner travel practices due to COVID-19

More about Elite Road Warrior:

Top 10 Business Travel Hacks Guide

Road Warrior Assessment

Elite Road Warrior Book

Elite Road Warrior Store

Elite Road Warrior on YouTube

LinkedIn – Bryan Paul Buckley
Instagram – EliteRoadWarrior

Written by Bryan Buckley · Categorized: ERW Podcast, Podcast · Tagged: ERW Podcast, podcast

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