High Performers can produce, no doubt about it. The amount of productivity and results that comes out of a high performer is impressive. Crank it out and getter done. Boo-yah. Drop the mic.

But like most things, there’s more to the story and something always deeper than the surface. The reality is others see our “on stage” not our “back stage”.  People simply don’t see the toll that not resting is doing to us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Or at least yet.

 

According to a recent Gallup poll, 40 percent of all American adults are sleep-deprived, clocking significantly less than the recommended minimum seven hours of sleep per night. (Source:  The Sleep Revolution by Adrianna Huffington)

My assumption, since this used to be me, is many high performers sleep far less seven hours especially of “quality sleep” on a consistent basis and simply don’t stop to rest. It’s a necessary evil.

The reality is many High Performers secret shame is they don’t know how to rest.

This is my confession. I’m Bryan. I’m a high performer and I don’t know how to rest. And it’s also the confession of many others. We’re in this together if we’re honest.

We’re good at projecting everything is good. And who will question us with the result we’re putting up?!

I feel like a high performance car that continues to put in cheap gas, avoids maintenance, and wants a repair as quick and cheap as possible.

Just get me back on the road, man! Can you relate?

 

Here are four inner thoughts that accompany the secret shame of high performing professionals:

 

1. Minimize Rest

High Performers are highly skilled at minimizing anything that slows them down. We say the following comments:

• Rest is a waste of time
• I don’t really need as much as everyone else
• I’ll sleep when I’m dead (even Bon Jovi titled a song by that name!)

Sadly, it often results in mentally be-littling others who do rest. We judge and when we do, we feel better about ourselves as a result. Been there, done that? C’mon, man. I know there are more people out there doing this than me.

 

2. Avoid Rest At All Costs

High Performers have a unique gift of always being busy. Every moment is calculated and used to produce results. Not slow down. And as a result, we’re always on the move.

We act like we’re allergic to rest or it’s the girl in high school that has a “great personality” your friend says you just have to meet. Uh… no thanks.

Sadly, we fill our schedule so rest doesn’t even have a chance.  I’ve mastered this one. I can fill my time to push rest out of even the realm of possibility. Who can question me with my results?

And I’ve paid the price for it. Can you say Adrenal Burnout?

 

3. Justify Rest As Optional

I can tell myself half-truths all day long on why rest is optional for me. Here are some of my go-to statements then the actual full truth:

• I have too much to do to rest (which ironically is my choice and I could choose to slow down and the world not end)
• It’s my current season of life and won’t always be this way (but I’ve made it my way of life not season of life)
• I’m fine with what little rest I get right now (yeah, because I don’t know what being fully rested actually feels like)

The irony is no one seeing our “on stage” sees the mind games we play “back stage” nor would they really care. They may even like us better if we’re rested and not so driven all of the time. Imagine that.

 

4. Fear Rest

But the truth is many High Performers are afraid of slowing down. Whoa. Now you just got personal. I’ve come to the point of realizing just how much of my identity has been deeply found in my ability to produce results. And I can’t produce results if I’m resting, right?

But that flawed thinking couldn’t be further from the truth. I can rest; I’ve just not wanted to slow down. Why? I mean, at a heart level, why am I not stopping long enough to truly rest?

I was afraid of what I would find if I slowed down. Here is my truth serum of why I feared rest:

• Would I be replaced?
• Would I still be needed?
• Would I like what I found when I slowed down and reflected on what was truly important to me?

Can you relate to any of those or have you not come to a place of such honesty yet?  If not, I hope this post has challenged you in this area.

 

Conclusion

I didn’t know how to slow down, unplug, relax, and truly receive the deep benefits of rest.

It simply came down to this simple revelation for me:

I know I need to but don’t know how to rest.

Not knowing how to truly rest is my secret shame and many of those High Performers I’ve met. This is solvable, productivity fans.

But the first step is accepting the secret shame of a high performer is we don’t know how to rest.

Join me on this journey to own up to it and be willing to make the necessary changes to receive the benefits of rest.

I’m a high variety person. I like change. But there are certain things that I rely on routine. My morning is the biggest area of routine throughout my entire day.

But even in my routine I enjoy some change or simple tweaks. For example, I absolutely love to read and do almost every single morning. Routine. But I also enjoy starting a brand new book. Variety.

I also write almost every single morning. Routine. Starting a new topic or project. Variety.

 

Then there is journaling. Routine. I’ve always seen the value in journaling but struggled with the consistency. The reason? Little to no variety.

I always enjoyed going through past days and remembering where I was at in my life in that exact moment. But there were gaps. Until now. I made two specific changes:

First, I started using an app called Day One Journal and I absolutely love it. I always felt I needed to handwrite my journal entries and I just struggled doing it. I rarely miss a day using this app.

Second, I changed the format of journaling. I now ask five specific questions that are powerful and reflective to me. I’m not a “I did this then I did that” kind of journaler and it showed in my inconsistency. But these five questions mean something to me due to the answers. They motivate and challenge me.

 

Here are Five Powerful Reflective Questions I’m Asking Every Morning

 

1. What Am I Grateful For This Morning?

I desire to be a person who is truly grateful. Not just when things are going good and my way but grateful in all circumstances. I want to be able to see the good in the bad.

So when I focus on what I’m grateful for, I see the good in so many ways.

It also sets the tone for my day because my focus is on what I have (the positive) not on what I don’t (the negative) and my attitude if changed.

Tip – learn to go beyond the surface and really reflect on your life and those around you. Journaling asking these questions will bring more ideas of gratefulness.

 

2. What Exactly Do I Want to Accomplish Today?

This question for me is not my to do list. It’s when I look back at the end of the day, what will give me a sense of accomplishment.

Kent Julian in his Goal Getting video course, challenges you to focus your energy on the 20% of your activities that produce 80% of the results. As he says, “If 80% of your results come from 20% activities, give 80% focus and energy to 20% activities.”

This exercise focuses on major 3-5 things that are going to produce 80% of the results I want to accomplish today. Oh, there are a ton more but these are the ones that move the needle in key areas of my life.

 

3. What Do I Look Forward to Today?

I learned this question from Donald Miller, creator of StoryBrand for business and StoryLine for personal. Answering this question allows me to think forward and anticipate something good that will happen in my day.

It may be something simple or it may be something I’ve looked forward to for awhile.

This especially helps me on days that are challenging, not my preferred focus of work, or a long day of business travel.

When I focus on what I look forward to, it gives me hope and energy to persevere to experience those areas.

 

4. What Reflections Came From Yesterday?

This is the self-reflection part of the program and the easiest question to ignore because if forces me to think backwards.

What stood out about yesterday? What were the key events, conversations, and moments that are worth remembering.

If I answer this question with honesty and a desire to personally improve, I can choose to repeat the good and make the necessary changes.

Possible categories: nutrition / fitness / productivity / relationships / personal development

 

5. What Did I Learn Yesterday?

 

This may be the hardest of the five questions. It’s SO easy just to fly through life with one day blurring into the next day. But this question forces me to think through what did I actually learn then put it in writing.

It may be something I read. It might have come from a conversation. Or it may have appeared through a life lesson.

These are nuggets I want to capture to continue my desire to personally improve and grow.

This question makes me pause and really think about what did I actually learn from the previous day and it a great way to end the five questions.

 

Closing Challenge…

Journaling may be a foreign concept for you and feels more like a diary. Not in this case.

My hope is you see the value in taking a few minutes each morning to reflect on your life. You may prefer using a pen and paper of which I did for a time. There are also great journals available such as the Five Minute Journal.

The important takeaway is choosing to do something. You choose the means (pen and paper or an app) and you can choose the questions. You’re welcome to use my five questions until you find what questions resonate with you.

I challenge you to take action in this area and find powerful, reflective questions to answer each morning and see where this time takes you in your personal development…

Four Must Do Steps to Successfully Setting the Tone for Business Travel

 

I was on a recent flight and had a good conversation with a fellow traveling professional. We discussed the challenges of nutrition and fitness on the road and how easy it is to go off road at any point.

For Eric, the biggest indicator of his success was dependent upon one major factor:

Setting the tone for his week of travel

That’s it. If he figured this out, almost everything else fell in line for the week. Don’t get me wrong, he still had his challenges but getting the Trip Tone right from the start made a HUGE difference in his potential success.

 

But what is setting the tone and how do you do it effectively?

Setting the Tone means doing everything in your power to start your trip as strong as possible.

So how do you do it?

Here Are Four Must Do Steps to Successfully Setting the Tone for Business Travel:

1. Start the Trip Before It Begins

Most people just jump in the car or plane and let the 1^st day take them where it leads then wonder what went wrong at the end of the day or even the trip. Imagine that.

I have to want to be successful the week I travel and I don’t mean professionally. It can’t be an after thought of “if I can fit it in and have time.” I simply gotta want a strong nutrition and fitness 1^st day and a good night of rest.

I’m asking myself “what exactly is an ideal 1^st day of travel and what will get my trip off to a great start?” Most never consider such a question and it’s a game changer.

This means in the heart I must have the motivation to eat healthy and exercise on the road. No one else can do it for me and if I wait until I have some extra time (the ultimate lie on the road), it will never happen.

I succeed before I ever get in my car or the plane for my trip by wanting it and thinking through it.

 

2. Eat Great Your 1st Day on the Trip

If I can get in a healthy breakfast then keep the momentum going at lunch I’m off to a great start to the week. And if I can round it out by a clean dinner that closes my 1^st day nutritionally strong, then my trip has an exponentially higher chance of being great!

Sometimes for me that will mean taking the time to make a quality breakfast the night before my trip so I don’t get tempted to eat “just something quick” before a long flight. If I can have vegetable-filled organic scrambled eggs in Tupperware to eat on the plane, I’m money. And I’ve achieved my goal of eating my 1^st great meal of the trip.

I have to plan ahead to make this step a reality and put me in reaction mode in the morning. But it’s SO worth the time and effort.

Or for Eric, it means locating all of the healthy restaurants around his hotel when coming to a new city or hitting healthy grocery stores like Whole Foods or Trader Joes immediately.

The point is thinking through each meal and snack so how you can set the right tone for the rest of the trip.

I encourage you to read the Post, Four Proven Guidelines to Eat Healthy on the Road. Click HERE.

 

3. Schedule My 1st Workout

Sounds easy enough, right? But it’s harder than you think.

My 1^st day is often my most challenging day for working out because I’m usually up VERY early to catch the first flight out of Chicago and I’ve not checked into the hotel and have my routine set. I’m also on a different time zone and dragging from a long day. All of these can be excuses and who would argue them, right?!

But…

If I can squeeze in even a short workout, I gain control in the fitness area with my first win. This sometimes is more mental than physical and critical to for a successful workout week.

It’s more about setting the tone for my routine than a killer workout. If I can make it to the fitness center, get my body and mind used to the surroundings and push myself hard even for a few minutes, this is a massive win.

I encourage you to read the post, The Biggest Daily Lie I Tell Myself regarding workouts. Click HERE.

 

4. Get As Much Sleep on the 1st Night

Chances are your day started earlier and could possibly end later than normal. And you may be dealing with a change of time zones. This can wreck havoc on your body and your routine.

If you start from empty and make decisions when you’re tired or even exhausted, you are far more likely NOT to make the healthiest choice. Read HERE.

I do whatever I can to get to sleep as soon as possible and start the next full day of travel fully rested. And when I do, I can gain momentum on a healthy 1^st day of nutrition and getting some type of workout in on day one.

Do whatever you can to get rested on your 1^st night to only increase your chances of success the rest of the trip. Even if it takes you awhile to get to sleep, get into the habit of taking care of your body on the 1^st day of the trip. This will take practice but you will be amazed at the results over time.

I encourage you to read the post, Three Decisions That Will Make Or Break a Good Night of Sleep. Click HERE.

 

Closing Challenge…

Setting the tone for your trip may be a new concept for you but one that will change the success of your entire trip.

Whether you travel every week, once in awhile, for the entire week or just a few days, you need to set the tone for your trip if you want to succeed with your health and ultimately your professional results.

I challenge you to implement these four steps and see what happens. It will be worth the time for the limited efforts.

 

Closing Question…

What is holding you back from implementing these four steps to set the tone for your trip?

The Why and the How of Creating a Three Year Vision Plan

 

It’s so easy to just float through life one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time and finally get to a place that the years are just flying by us.

If we reflect (which is rare) and are completely honest with ourselves, we’re nowhere closer to becoming the person we long to be in our lives. In fact we’re often further away in some or many areas.

 

One year ago, a clinical psychologist friend of mine challenged me to do something that I never ever considered doing. He challenged me to create a Vision Plan that outlined in detail who and what I wanted in and for my life a set number of years in the future.

Huh?

But the more I thought about it and really considered the value of the exercise, I realized I was hesitant. Why? It was because I hadn’t spent the time really thinking through what I wanted for my life in detail.

Sure, I wanted many of the “general things” everyone else wants in life but I never spent the time to process what I wanted in my own life in hopes they would every really come true.

It also meant I had to put some real time and effort into the process. And what if I didn’t know what I really wanted? Or what if it wouldn’t come true?

I just had to find out.

So I took the challenge.

 

1. The Purpose

Here is my definition of a Three Year Vision Plan – a clearly defined and descriptive picture of who you will become and what you will have accomplished in a set period of time.

There are three main parts to this definition:

Clearly Defined and Descriptive Picture – this is not a lofty, generic big picture dream but in detail plan

Who You Will Become and What You Will Have Accomplished – this is a focus on WHO you WILL become in the future along with your goals (both, not either or…)

In a Set Period of Time – this is not an open-ended “sometime in the future” time frame, but a set period that has an end date

I personally suggest a Three Year Time Frame. Why? One year is just too quick (believe it or not) to see real change in many areas. And five years just seems too far into the future. But you can make significant and exponential change in three years with incredible focus. And this is exactly what the Vision Plan is all about!

 

2. The Categories

This is the creative part of the process. It’s personal to you on which categories you ultimately choose in your Vision Plan.

Dr. Nick Howard puts in this way, “Essentially, vision work is about prayerfully developing or imagining ideal scenarios in the areas of your life that are the most important to you, that fill your heart with hope and energy and focus and perhaps wonder.”

These are personal but here are a few ideas:

Spiritual                                             Health (Nutrition / Fitness)

Wife                                                    Marriage

Parenting                                           Emotional Maturity

Personal Growth                               Purity

Finances                                             Friendships

Renewal                                             Involvement (Church / Community)

Vocation                                             Play

Home

You may use many of these ideas or just some of them. Ultimately, you need to choose categories that are important, motivate, and resonate with you.

Remember, this is YOUR Vision Plan of Who You Will Become and What You Will Accomplish three years from now.

 

3. The Process

A challenge this big doesn’t happen in an hour. It takes time. It takes thought. It takes mental wrestling. It takes revision.

If you’re a person of faith, I encourage you to pray through this process especially in Who You Will Become.

You will need to utilize Think Space often to make this process a reality.

I encourage you for the very first time in this process to take an extended period of time to make some really forward motion. I took a half-day to dream, think, pray, and simply mind dump ideas and it was invaluable.

I wrote anything and everything. After all, I was working on my life and my future. It doesn’t get more personal than that!

Once I had my categories locked in, I began to write who I wanted to become and what I wanted to accomplish in a unique way.

Dr. Nick Howard suggests, “Write in a way that best taps the positive emotions and energy that you want to experience. You then write out these images in the present tense as if they’ve already happened.”

For perspective, this process took a month for me to finalize my current Vision Plan that is both concise and complete.

 

Adding a Personal Mission Statement

I live my life by a guiding statement that I chose to begin my Vision Plan. To learn more about developing a Personal Mission Statement, click HERE.

This served as a reminder at the beginning of reviewing my Vision Plan what I felt called to do and my assignment I was on in my life.

 

Adding Your Values

I chose to add my Personal Core Values at the end of my Vision Plan under a summary section. To learn more about developing your Personal Core Values, click HERE. This allowed me to review my guiding principles on a consistent basis.

 

Quotes

 I’m a quote junkie and every once in awhile, I will find a quote that speaks to me at a deep level. You may consider adding quotes at the beginning or throughout your Vision Plan in key categories to motivate and inspire you.

 

Bible Verses

If you’re a person of faith, you may want to consider adding key Bible verses that are a life verse, season of life verse, , specific areas of growth, or to challenge you to become the person you long to become. I chose to add verses after my Personal Mission Statement.

 

4. The Review

 Once you have your Vision Plan complete, this is not a task that is accomplished that you rarely if ever visit.

It’s a live, working document designed to direct, challenge, motivate, and even convict you to become that person and achieve your goals you long to see become a reality in three years.

To be brutally honest, there are many days when I review that I am deeply convicted by my choices or lack of progress in certain categories. It’s not guilt and shame but re-centering and motivation to grow and improve in this area.

Yet other categories are thriving and I find a sense of energy and accomplishment that I’m actually becoming the person I want to be and advancing the goals I’ve set for my life. What an incredible feeling to be reminded you’re moving in the direction you’ve intentionally chosen for your life!

Some review their Vision Plan in whole once a week or a couple times a month. Personally, I review a section or page of my Vision Plan almost every morning.

I printed a hard copy for home that sits next to my Bible and the morning book I’m reading.

I also have a digital copy I put into a PDF that goes into iBooks on my iPad so I can review it on the road when I travel.

If interested in a copy of my vision plan, please email me at: Bryan@BryanPaulBuckley.com

Remember, the goal, if written properly, is to challenge you to daily become that person in the Vision Plan.

 

Closing Challenge…

You know what’s coming.

If you choose to take on this challenge, it very well may be one of your most difficult yet rewarding challenges you’ve taken on in a very long time.

Creating a Three Year Vision Plan falls under Important and Not Urgent but along with creating a Personal Mission Statement and your Personal Core Values, it literally could change the direction of your life.

I hope you care that much about your future of who you will become and what you want to accomplish in three years.

The reality is, three years is coming so why not have a clear plan of what you will end up at the end of that time frame?!

Take the challenge.

 

Closing Question…

Is this investment of time worth the possible results of ultimately who you will become and what you will accomplish three years from now?

 

Full Credit – This concept and post is solely credited to Dr. Nick Howard who has become both a mentor and close friend. This is his work that has challenged and changing my life and to whom I’m incredibly grateful. To learn more about him, please visit his site: http://finishwellgroup.com/meet-the-team/